C.W. asks from Avon, IN on January 29, 2012
J.W. answers from St. Louis on January 29, 2012
I never understood the concept of the talk. To me it is like a speech, a lecture, not communication. I never had the talk with my older two and I won't with the younger two. Instead they always knew their questions would be answered.
They asked a lot of questions but I never lectured them.
I don't know, I guess I always figured the talk was for parents that just don't know how to communicate with their kids so they just give speeches. :(
Don't know about other people's stats but both my older kids were over 18 before they had sex or seriously dated so I don't think the lack of the talk causes sex at an early age.
2 moms found this helpful
B.K. answers from Chicago on January 29, 2012
I ALWAYS recommend the book I'm linking to here. But I have to say that it's never just "the talk." It needs to be an ongoing, indepth conversation. At 11, I'll bet they know a lot more than you think they know. So the time to start talking was yesterday.
1 mom found this helpful
L.B. answers from Biloxi on January 29, 2012
My son is 15, we never sat down and had "the talk". Instead, we talked in bits and pieces when the topic seemed natural. I.e., as his physical changes began, when a girl in his 8th grade class became pregnant, when something on TV was a springboard.
But we began talks about responsibility, girlfriends, and relationships early on - like 4th grade. So our conversations have had a natural feel to them, neither of us were put on the spot and neither felt uncomfortable (well not overly uncomfortable).
My mother, on the hand, bought my sister and I an age appropriate book, had us read it, and that was it. Gosh, I knew the nuts and bolts of reproduction, but none of the nuances. Made it complicated later. LOL
Most importantly, ensure that through your conversations you let them know that you are always there for them, no matter what, and that they will always be able to come to you.
1 mom found this helpful
S.D. answers from Phoenix on January 29, 2012
we had a lot of good interventions and community seminars through school and church that got my daughter to get a little more info. We started at about 10 and finished at 12 with all the details from beginning to end. It was very gradual and every few months, something would come up and we would sit and discuss it. This included, puberty, drugs, how to love someone, how to handle bullies , and then eventually being mis touched to not appropiate from boy to girl, earning respect for the the other sex and then about intercourse. I think it is a gradual thing that you will just eventually say it all over time in bits and peices. Too me, too much infor all at once really is overwhelming and so going a little bit at a time would be better....so maybe over this next 6-8 months, just gradully touch on issues.
You can PM me if you need help starting conversation.
T.T. answers from Dallas on January 30, 2012
WIth my daughter I asked her questions and had her answer. I didn't have visuals. I just said ask me anything...
My son and I have a different relationship. He's always been able to ask me anything. And by anything I mean the stuff that you wouldn't wanna talk to your offspring about but you do cause they asked and cause well, you want them to have the RIGHT information.
I don't think you need visuals to get the point across. But my old standby, should I ever choose to use one is How Was I Born (1975 and not the new version). It's what my mom gave me as a kid. And that's it...just handed me a book, said read that...and that was IT.
I do not recommend this method.
Sending good thoughts your way.
R.K. answers from Dayton on January 31, 2012
I have a four year old and just found this great book, It's Not The Stork. From the same author is a book for ages 10 and up, which is also highly recommended. Maybe this is worth looking at:
P.G. answers from Dallas on January 29, 2012
Don't have "the talk". Start having actual conversations. Use real world or TV or whatever as springboards. I haven't had to deal with this yet, but I think that one "talk" doesn't do much in terms of teaching them how to value themselves and their bodies, and the potential relationship stuff that they will deal with. Ongoing dialogue - keep those lines open through the teen years.