The Picky Eater

There is a great book by William G Wilkoff, MD called Coping with a Picky Eater that every parent or provider of kids should read and have a copy of. http://www.amazon.com/Coping-Picky-Eater-Perplexed-Parent...

This book has what I call the Picky Eater Plan. I have used this plan with kids that literally threw up at the sight of food and within 2 weeks they were eating normal amounts of everything and trying every food.

First you need to get everyone who deals with the child on board. If you are a provider it's ok to make this the rule at your house and not have the parents follow through but you wont' see as good results as what I described up above.

The plan is to limit the quantities of food you give the kid. When I first start with a child I give them literally ONE bite worth of each food I am serving. The book suggests that every time you feed the kids (breakfast, morning snack, lunch, afternoon snack, dinner) you give all 4 food groups. So, for lunch today I would have given the child one tiny piece of strawberry, one spoonful of applesauce, 3 macaroni noodles with cheese on them, and 2 oz of milk. Only after they ate ALL of what was on their plate would you give them anything else. They can have the same amounts for seconds. If they only want more mac and cheese, they only get 3 noodles then they would have to have more of all the other foods in order to get more than that. If they don't eat, fine. If they don't finish, fine. Don't make a big deal out of it, just make them stay at the table until everyone else is done eating. They don't get more food until they are sat at the next meal and they only get what you serve. When I first do this with a child I don't serve sweets at all. So no animal crackers for snack but rather a carrot for snack. Or one of each of those. I don't make it easy for them to gorge on bad foods in other words. Now if they had a meal where they ate great then I might make the snack be a yummy one cause I know they filled up on good foods.

Even at snacks you have to limit quantities of the good stuff or else they will hold out for snack and just eat those snacky foods. I never give a picky eater the reward of a yummy snack unless they had that great lunch prior to it.

It really is that easy.

1 mom found this helpful

I grew up as the picky eater in a house with 3 other siblings. My mom always made a healthy, balanced dinner and we were expected to eat what was served. If there was something one of us (mainly me) didn't like, we had to have at least a spoonful. I can tell you that I came up with some very creative ways to not eat things (like hiding my peas in a potato skin), but it was good discipline, and I am a much less picky eater today. I am really trying to get my daughter to eat healthier than I do.

1 mom found this helpful

I come from a very large family (9 children). My mother always took the view that every child MUST try at least one bite of everything offered for meals....she believed that as the children grew, so would their palate for new items. When there were several choices available for a meal, there was always at least ONE thing the "picky" child(children) would like. Some would not eat cauliflower, others would not eat carrots, etc. Mom would usually serve 2 vegetable options along with the meat of the day and some sort of starch and of course, bread and butter. There were days that the only thing "picky" would eat would be a vegetable and bread and butter other than the prescribed "bite" of the other items offered. NO one starved, and although a few of us were somewhat thin as children (note: thin NOT skinny).....as adults we all LOVE to eat and struggle with our weight. Some of us still HATE the things we hated as children (the one who hated cauliflower, still hates it and will NOT serve it in his home!) But generally we have handled food in the same manner as our mom. It works. My 4 are grown and eat nearly everything. Each has individual likes and preferences, but that is good and normal. I know you are on track....stick to your guns on the variety thing....your older child will not starve himself, and by insisting he keep taking that one bite, one day he may find a new favorite!

Sounds like you are doing the right thing. My 3.5 year old has the sensory processing disorder which was a reason why he was SOO picky like that. He still doesn't eat any dips or sauces except pizza sauce on pizza, noodles/rice (except Kraft mac & cheese sometimes), or many other different foods. When we began OT, he was down to eating about 5 different foods, all yellowish in color. He would go an entire 24 hours without eating ANYTHING if those foods were not offered to him, so the getting hungry enough to try a new food didn't work for him (I tried!) Now he is doing SOO much better. He still will not go near any dark colored fruit or try anything with a sauce or dip, but his horizons have REALLY broadened thanks to his OT. The OT suggested (and it really has helped) at meal times to have the 3 different foods or so in a divided kids plate as he too will not eat anything touching, with at least one of those things being something new and one being something he likes. Also to have a "no-thank you bowl" so he can place the things he does not like in the bowl. It's a non-threatening way for him to at least approach or even touch the food without having to taste it...a first step toward eventually tasting it. I'm reading a book now on parenting a child with SPD and the author likened my son's type of SPD to our own opening up a moldy bottle of mayo. The look disgusts us, the smell repulses us, and if we were foolish enough to taste it, we would probably gag. That's how these kids experience some of these new foods, in the same way we would feel being expected to eat moldy mayonaisse. So keep up the good work! As you continue, both your boys will slowly broaden their variety in foods. Best wishes to you!

K.:

Like one of the other posters, I have a 5 year old son who has oral sensory issues that are at the root of his restricted diet. I also have a 2 year old daugher who is a voracious eater but l have had your same concerns about her being less willing to try new things because of her brother. She went through a brief period of trying to skip dinner in favor of yogurt (something my son is allowed to have once he has finished his dinner) but she began to understand that she needed to eat the majority of what is on her plate in order to have a yogurt.

So that phase came and went and now she is way more interested in what my husband, mom and I have on our plates than my son. One of our OT's recommendations was to have my son "serve" her different foods so as to get him familiar with the foods even if he isn't eating them (yet!) and my daughter finds the whole thing pretty funny so she is more than willing to try whatever he brings her.

Best of luck to you.

L.

Have you tried the good old "You get what you get and you don't throw a fit" technique? I totally dig your thinking in that you believe everyone eats what is for dinner, you haven't yet become a short order cook who provides him with his own special menu, and you're nice enough to plan the meals with him in mind. Awesome job so far - and keep it up.

Make dinner, give him what the family is having, and if he doesn't want to eat it then save the plate for later when he complains that he is hungry. And when he does come back to you, complaining that he is hungry, pop the plate into the microwave and serve again.

Sure, he might go on strike for a little bit but he will get hungry and he will eat. As soon as he realizes that you are not going to cater to his every whim, he will learn "Hmmm if I want to eat I better eat what's on my plate or I don't get to eat."

He complains about it at the table? Just respond with "This is what's for dinner." You don't need to justify, rationalize, verbally debate or argue.

My nephew's eating habits were catered to when he was little. Now he is 10 and is a whiny, pain in the butt when it comes to eating...at home. He eats the hot plate lunch at school, no problem. He has managed to manipulate his parents to the point where every night they cook him a separate meal or else he'll throw a tantrum.

Hi mom thats it reality children are little people with their own mind and its lots of things to come that they will not like just like you as long as he eat and its healthy thats fine. Good Luck

My son was also a super picky eater, and he also hated any sauces. He still won't eat pizza unless he wipes off the sauce first. He does not like a lot of things most kids do. There was a point where he would only eat veggies, chicken and hot dogs. I always cooked the family meal making sure to cook at least one thing I knew he would eat. When we have spaghetti, he just doesn't get any sauce with it. But I think I am in the minority where my kids love their veggies. :)
I think you are on the right track. Offer him a little of everything so your other little sees he has it as well. If he is hungry enough, he will eat it. When my son refused to eat, he was not allowed to have any other food and I saved his plate for later. He eventually at least tried different things.

I'm told I was a terribly picky eater ( I have since gotten waaaay over it!) and that I'd only eat a few certain foods, till my mom discovered that hunger is a wonderful motivator, and didn't allow me to snack on stuff between meals. Than she expected me to eat what was served, and if I chose not to eat it, she kindly excused me, and put my plate in the fridge till I was ready to eat it. No anger, just firm kindness. I love everything now- probably too much- and your little one will someday too!

Hi! I am fortunate that I have only 1 picky eater out of 4 kids. We also had tried to follow the rule - - you get what you get, and don't throw a fit. We now have come to realize that even as adults, some people like certain foods and others do not. I would never make a meal that I knew my husband didn't like and not provide him an alternative that he did like. So when we thought about it in those terms, and what are we really trying to accomplish, we decided to change the rule only slightly. We also agree that the kitchen is not a restaurant where everyone orders what they want at that moment. So now, I make a meal that can satisfy the majority and if someone doesn't like it, I provide a peanut butter and jelly sandwhich. At least then, the child knows he is not being "punished" for not liking the taste of something, but yet he is not getting anything "special" that everyone else will also want. And amazingly enough as we have used this new modified rule, he has made his own choice to now start trying one bite of certain foods. I think it is becaues he knows that if he does like it, then he can have more, but if he does not like it, he has PB&J available. As parents we just always need to be asking ourselves what lesson are we trying to teach our kids and are we really acommplishing that goal by our actions. Good luck!

Did you know that your son currently has approximately 100 times the amount of taste buds that you do as an adult, and all of them are hyper sensitive to bitter and sour tastes? Check it out on google.....this is why in ancient times royalty used children as tasters for thier food, as most poisens were very bitter.....

Your son NOT wanting to eat condiments and creamy things is a GREAT thing!!!!These are some of the biggest reasons our country is soooooo obese. My son is the same way, and is no worse for wear having not eaten those things. As well it could be his bodies natural defense to possible food allergies or sensitivities. If he is growing and healthy let him eat like this. The added BONUS, if the whole family eats this way, you are ALL eating healthy
Try adding this ONE rule........NO THANK YOU BITES....my son has always had to have them. He MUST take at least one bite of everything we are having.....if he likes it he has more, if not we try next time.
My husband also started the "that's MY favorite, YOU BETTER NOT like it" game, this worked on a bunch of food items. Food is to nurish us not become our worlds, your son will eat what his body needs and if he's hungry he will eat.

Our son at 3 1/2 was ridiculously picky (it drove me NUTS!!), there were times he would ONLY eat peanut butter on a spoon....he would throw a HUGE FIT over any type of bread, for weeks on end....he also I believe is mildly autistic and had/has texture issues, as well as foods "touching" (that is still not likes).
I am happy to tell you he is now 8 and we have ZERO food issues....he eats what we eat and I am NOT a short order cook any longer (the extent of that service was PB on a spoon or nuggets in the nuker instead of what we were having).
They DO grow out of it and thier tastes do "mature". So be patient and allow him to eat "healthy" for as long as he will, cause once they are in school, all that goes out the window. Relax, he will be fine.

Sounds like you are doing okay with your choice. The only thing I would suggest is make those portions of what he will eat smaller so that he gets hungrier and has no choice than to eat what's offered. Doctors still say that at that age kids survive on sunshine, so I don't think there's truly an issue that he'd starve. Once he knows that he'll have to eat what's offered, he'll change his tune.

My kids went through "picky eater" periods, but I never got into a power struggle over it. If they didn't like what was served they could have a bowl of cereal,a "nut" butter and jelly sandwich or toast. However, they had to make it themselves with the ingredients provided by me. There were many days of eating peanut, sunflower or almond butter sandwiches that they spent quite a bit of time making. It also taught them that making food was a little harder than just ordering it from mom. When they poured milk all over everything making cereal, I gave them a dishcloth to clean it up. I never made an issue of it and always encouraged "just one bite", but never forced the issue. The funniest thing about this is that I hate fish, shrimp, liver and most fruits and my kids, grown now, all love those things because I never forced them to eat it because they made ME gag.

Have you ever seen the show the Doctor's they did a segment on picky eaters. You may want to go on their website and see the clip. The doctor when to a families home and showed how to handle a picky eater. Just an idea.

Chances are, your older son will grow out of some of his pickiness. In the meantime, I think it's good that you have something available to him, and that should continue. If your younger son is more adventurous, he probably won't tone that down just because plainer stuff is available. It seems like your current plan should still work. Make something that the older one will eat, plus something you like or want the younger one to try. Bon appetit!

It works that way if you enforce it. 1 entree for all. Salad mixed in 1 bowl with different bottles of dressing. Each person has their own choice that way. Cream foods are not healthy in this day and age. I heard on the news yesterday that 20 per cent of American children are obese. I was horrified. You'de be helping your kids by not giving cream dressings often; maybe with raw vegetables only, something like that. Good luck mom and hang in there.