B.K. asks from Albany, CA on August 12, 2012
The Patience of a Saint !!
I'll start with the positive. Of course I love /adore my 5 yr old son.He is intelligent/independent/strong minded/kind /funny etc.
Now, he is driving me crazy the last few weeks. I seem to spend my time giving out. He is bossy,overbearing,annoying and testing my patience to the limit.
Oh it felt good to get that out.!!
Is it normal not to always like your child as you would any other person or is unconditional love ,Unconditional.?
Be brave ,lets vent about our kids.
M.M. answers from Philadelphia on August 12, 2012
When I told the priest in confession that I had seven children, I didn't even have to elaborate on the stress involved. One is also a lot, since I've had that many too. Anyway, what he said was very helpful and it was that although it may seem like a burden now, later on it won't. There are many aged people who have lots of money and wished they had answered the call to life.
Feelings aren't facts. And as Dori (Finding Nemo) would say: "When life gets you down, do you know what you gotta do?....Just keep swimming......". Hang in there, 5 is tough, I think.
6 moms found this helpful
L.B. answers from Biloxi on August 12, 2012
last fall I made an appointment with our family therapist - who we/I had not seen in almost a year - because my teen was becoming the bane to my existence.
I was glad to hear that I am normal, and that we all go through periods whilst we love our children we would gladly feed them to the bears.
Loving them and liking them are two different things. Eh, rather loving them and liking their behavior is two different things.
This week I have been lucky to love my teen and like his behavior. Though he is wearing on my patience today. LOL
5 moms found this helpful
F.H. answers from Phoenix on August 12, 2012
I would think this applies to everyone, of all ages. We all have our good and bad days. It doesn't (or shouldn't) change our *love* for them, just makes it a little harder that day to *like* them. This is normal, in my opinion. =)
4 moms found this helpful
D.. answers from Charlotte on August 12, 2012
Absolutely okay to not 'like" your child when he's acting like this. But what is better is to tackle the problem head-on so that he learns to stop doing it. Then you'll like him better! (LOL!)
When he gets bossy, tell him that you only listen to a nice tone of voice, and turn away from him. When he changes his tone, turn back to him and deal with him then, like a "switch" turned you on. This method works especially well with whiney kids. "I can't understand you when you whine...", turning away, and totally ignoring until the tone changes to a normal voice "Mommy, may I please..." can work wonders if you are 1006% consistent.
My mother had the patience of Job - and I really mean that. She told me that I was her little "question box". She patiently answered all of my questions. My kids followed suit. It was easier for me because I had more books for my kids than my mom had for me. I'd pull down books to help answer my kids' questions. If this is part of his annoyance, demanding to "know" more, I would choose this one thing to accept and foster patience of your own with him.
Everything else, tell him you will ignore him when he acts like it, OR send him to his room until he remembers how to behave.
3 moms found this helpful
M.L. answers from Colorado Springs on August 12, 2012
Just because you love your children every second doesn't mean you LIKE them every second.
It's the end of the summer - and fall brings changes. The combination of the two can make children crazy. Hang in there. Stay firm and friendly, and use that saintly patience you're exercising now.
You really care about your boy's best interests. You would even die for him if it came to that. That's love, no matter how frustrated you get.
3 moms found this helpful
M.S. answers from Topeka on August 12, 2012
School is about to start! You can get rid of him then! Bahahahaha!
My son is 6 and just made me realize I have been giving into him all these years. He is my last child so of course I am attached at the hip with him. He is my "baby". Well recently he dropped his bottom lip when I said No about something and when I almost gave in I realized I had been doing this all along and he had me under his precious cutie wootie spell. No more!!
2 moms found this helpful
T.N. answers from Albany on August 12, 2012
Of course it's normal, B..
But for a little help through it, here's St. Bernadette, and naturally St. Monica, who is our Patron Saint of Patience!
(I don't know the Patron Saint of Bossy, Overbearing, Annoying 5 yos, but I'll say a little prayer anyway!)
One time when my boys were about 6 and 8, I told them they suck. I said AND YOU BOTH SUCK! When I couldn't take the rough housing one more second. How awful is THAT?! Sigh. :(
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K.M. answers from San Francisco on August 13, 2012
Oh I feel your pain. Our oldest son will be 12 soon & he is just driving me absolutely nuts! Between puberty & his usual self, we're dying over here! He's bossy, antagonistic towards his little brother, can't say anything nice to his brother cuz it's too hard to be nice (according to him!) & I have recently started telling him that while I love him, I absolutely do not like his actions & behaviours! My manatra for he summer was 'do not engage' cuz that's what he was looking for....didn't go all that well! ;) While it's me who needs the break from him & his attitude, I send him to his room; usually for a lengthy stay & he comes otu somewhat refreshed. Long story short; it's OK to not like your kid sometimes!
1 mom found this helpful