E.B. asks from Federal Way, WA on August 18, 2008
The Pack Rat!
Hello again! We are suppose to be moving on Wednesday. Ha! We are only like 45% packed because we have been putting it off. My hub thinks I have ALL the time in the world during the day with three kids to do most of the packing. Ha! My other grievence is he is a pack rat. He keeps everything. Papers, clothes junk etc. He says you never know when you're gonna need something again. I agree with this statement only sort of. I like to throw everything. I am not a keepsake person really. I have my photos and scrapbooks and thats about it. I need to know what is an exceptable time frame to throw something away. Say you have something you havent picked up for six months...does that gove me the grounds to throw it away? I just dont want to have to move EVERYTHING. All the junk in my opinion can go. He is putting up a fight. What I have done in the past when we have moved is throw it without him noticing...My conscience is getting the better half of me this time for some reason...Is it wrong to do this? so to sum up my questions....
1. What time frame do you think is suitable and right for me to throw something away when it hasnt been touched/used whatever?
2. Do you think it is wrong to toss stuff without asking or telling him?
Thanks in advance!!
More Answers
N.P. answers from Seattle on August 19, 2008
I think it's wrong for you to throw away his things, not matter if it seems like garbage to you or not. It's his and that's not right. Let him pack all his stuff. Tell him you wont do it and don't have time to do it and if he wants to keep all the stuff then he has to pack it. He will end up resenting you if you throw away his items. He could be keeping certain things for a reason and you don't know or whatever. It's just not right for you to do it. If my husband did that to me, I'd have a fit! Good luck.
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J.M. answers from Seattle on August 18, 2008
Honestly, I do think it's wrong to do it behind his back. Plus, how terrible would you feel if you later learned that you threw out something really important?
(My husband tried this with me, because he wan't happy over how slowly I was going through things. I found a teddy bear that meant a LOT to me in the back of his truck on its way to the dump. It had been inside something else and he hadn't realized it was there, but if he'd managed to throw it away I would have been devastated.)
My hubby and I worked on a compromise that worked for us. (After a few years of him complaining that I needed to get rid of stuff and my telling him I'd get around to it.) Anyway, he agreed to take the kids for several afternoons while I sorted through items. I was able to get rid of quite a bit of stuff (either trash or donating to charity).
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M.C. answers from Seattle on August 18, 2008
We have a rule in our house. Everything goes in a box/bin it is marked. We have christmas, easter, jackets, boots, cords...you get the idea. All in a box along with a few boxes of keepsakes clearly marked. We tape up the box (date it) so you have to rip tape to open it (make sure the box is marked well; if it hasn't been opened in 6 months then the box still taped and unopened goes to good will or something of the sort. (We DO NOT open it) because then we start thinking maybe we should..., or but I think I will... Just a thought. I do not however feel that it is o.k. to just throw something with out the knowledge I know I would not really like it if my hubby did it to me. At least this way it is a mutual agreement. Besides really if we haven't used it in 6 months, and its not decoration, or keepsake do we really REALLY need it?!?!?!
Best of luck with the move having moved 8 times in 5 years we know first hand it is not an easy task!
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