The "PACIFIER"

I have heard that taking it to Build a Bear and depositing it for a bear they're allowed to use instead works. I'm actually thinking about trying that with my 21 month old.

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I broke my 1st daughter at a year old, by "loosing" the binki..my second daughter, on her 2nd birthday, we made her throw it away and say "bye-bye" to her binki that she was a big girl now. It was hard and she did cry for a few nights, but after repeating that she was a big girl now, she didnt need it, she finally became uninterested in it. My son, he broke himself, I'm not sure how! At night he would get it and lose it in the middle of the night, finally after us not finding it when he woke up in the middle of the night, he had no interest in it. We've even tried to get him to take it when he's teething, for some comfort (by chewing on it) and he throws it. I'm not sure if that was any help, but that has been my experience with binkis.

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V.

My first daughter was a big pinky baby. That pinky was in her mouth 24-7. I look back at pictures and pretty much every picture for her first 2.5 years had a HUGE pinky hanging out of her mouth. We started off very slow with missplacing it for an hour or two during the day. Then it was she could only have it at naps and bedtime, then just bedtime and finally. My sister in law was getting ready to have a baby, we told my daughter that it was time to pass the pinky on, the next baby needed one and what a big girl it takes to help a new baby...we "mailed it" ( right into the garbage) to the new baby. It did take about aweek for her to finally settle down at night with out it. But once you decide its gone, you must throw ALL of them away right away or you will be tempted to give it back on hard days. Good Luck,

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V.- my response will be very different than anyone else's. Children need stability and comfort. In this crazy world where they are shuffled around, etc, they just want one thing that they recognize day in day out that makes them comfortable- and if they have to depend on it- who cares- he is two. I have always been under the belief not to ever take anything away from my kids- they will give them up when they are ready- My oldest, almost 5, used to take a bottle to bed- I know- HORRIBLE- when he was 18 months- we went to one bottle a night. When he was two we switched to water in the bottle. We thought he would never give it up- when he was 3 1/2 one night, I was getting ready to make him a bottle and he said, "mommy, I don't need a bottle anymore." And that was that- he did it on his own. My 26 month old still has his pacifier. It is restricted to naps and bedtime and it goes along with his nite-nite (blanket.) I know he is not going to kindergarten with it- he will give it up when he is ready- who am I to decide because he is two that it should be taken away from him. My advice- go buy some new binkies- restrict them to certain times- start throwing hints that they are for babies- one of these days he will give them up on his own. I wish you good luck.

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I agree with Valerie! I sucked my thumb (not something very easily taken away hehe)until the summer before I entered 6th grade! EVERYONE as far back as I can remember bugged me about my thumb-sucking. It was definitely a comfort thing, and I think the more people tried to get me to stop, the more determined I was not to. (unfortunately, I'm to this day stubborn like that!)
Obviously your little one needs some extra comfort he isn't finding in a "bed buddy" or "blankie" Would you take one of those away? Or have you tried trading his pacifier for a new stuffed animal/bed buddy? I know we all hate to see the "binkie" hanging out of a chlid's mouth, but when looking at the big picture, will he be an adult sitting in his office with a binkie in his mouth? NOPE! I know I'm making light of this, but we all want to be the perfect parents and have the perfect children~ especially our firsts! Let him have it during nap and bed times, and don't worry so much, it'll all be ok.
By the way, I had to adapt this attitude when our son was pushing toward three years old and not potty trained yet. I had to keep telling myself, "He won't be wearing diapers to kindergarten, it'll be ok."
Good luck!

WOW Eva posted while I was writing... what a GREAT idea!

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Hi V.-
My son was 2 1/2 when he finally got off and it was only because my daughter was 2 weeks old at the time and he got up in the morning and had poop in his diaper and wiped it all over the walls and anywhere else he could put it..We were so mad (and postpartum) that I took them and put them in the garbage right in front of him...That nite came and he did not make a peep because he knew he was in big trouble..He never cried for it again..
My neighbor did that to her 2 1/2 year old also when he stepped on his baby sister she threw it away and he never asked for it again either..Not sure if that is the right way, but I did not have to go through any crying or anything..He knew he did something really bad..
We did keep that also for a keepsake and I will tell him that story when he is older..
Hope it helps
M.

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I have 3 kids with only 1 on the pacifier. With the other 2, we took them out and perpsly forgot the pacifier. We happened to take them to the zoo.... With one of them, we told him that the rooster ate it and with the other one, the monkeys took it and were playing with it and then shared it with the giraffes...

T. K.

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Hi V.. I was so worried when it came time to take the pacifier away from our little girl (now 3). We set the deadline at 2 years old. We started by talking to her explaining that pacifiers were for babies and she was almost 2 years old. We had this conversation everyday for about two weeks before her birthday as a sort of countdown. Finally the big day came for her to go to bed without it. We let her be the one to throw it in the trash before her nap. This was my sister-in-laws suggestion. I thought it would be incredible tramatic and I was pretty scared myself. My daughter was a champ though! She put on a brave face and was excited to be such a big girl. She now understood that pacies are for babies and she was a toddler (they get to do cool things babies don't). You could also let him tie it to a balloon and let it go. This worked for us and she was ready. Good luck! I know it can be heart breaking.

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I would set limits on the pacifier use. Such as, just let him use it at nighttime, or in his room only. I don't think it's bad to let him use it in the bedroom only. Just don't let him carry it around with him everywhere all day long.

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Hi, I know that this can be very challenging as we recently had to pull our son's pacifier... I simply explained that he was getting to be a big boy now and that big boys didn't use pacifiers. I told him that we were going to put it in an envelope and mail it to his baby cousin (which, of course, we didn't actually do). He seemed to find peace in knowing where it went and that he was a big boy by helping out. Now, don't get me wrong, he still had it rough for about 3-4 nights trying to get used to not having a pacifier but after that it passed (well, mostly ;P). Before we pulled it, he was only allowed to have it for nap and bedtime so we didn't have to try to contend with the daytime issues. I hope that helps and wish you luck!

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My daughter was extremely attached to her pacifier, day and night, especially in the car, naps and at night. Breaking her pacifier only got her upset and we ended up buying her new ones. I couldn't explain to her a "pacifier fairy" or a sticker program, she's still too young for that.
We did the build a bear thing, and it worked like a charm. She was 22 1/2 months when we did this, I told her as we entered the store that this was bye-bye to the pacifier. She picked a teddy bear (a monkey) and when we filled it I asked her to give a kiss bye-bye to the pacifier and put it inside. She put it inside herself and said bye. She whinned for five seconds, like she wasn't sure this was a good idea, then moved on. She picked his clothes herself and left the store with her new monkey. I was very skeptical, but since then, she hasn't asked for the pacifier once. That night she looked at me and said "tete monkey" ("tete" is her word for pacifier) and I confirmed that yes, monkey had her tete and she hugged her monkey and fell asleep. I couldn't believe it! She has done great without it. Even if she sees other kids with it, she doesn't ask for it. The nightmare was over. And now she has a new best friend. I don't know if this will work for your child but in the store they told me that they do it all the time and that it works great. Good luck!!!

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I have found that it is easier on you and your child if you slowly take it away! Reassure him that he is a big boy and that he doesn't need it! My daughter is only 15 months old and she only gets it when she is going to sleep! I suggest trying that, then once he is asleep, pull it from his mouth, so he wakes up without it, and see if he just gets use to that, and then just don't offer it anymore! I had to help my mom with this with my sister and her bottle, my sister would cry for her bottle and mom just told her that she is a big girl and doesn't need it anymore, and after the week, she didn't even ask for it anymore! Good Luck!

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I would NOT give him a pacifier with the tops cut off. He could be sucking on who knows what kind of chemicals that are inside the pacifier!! Look at the big picture.... does it really matter if he is still dependent on it? I understand that he is almost 2, but it is a security for him. I would start to limit it more and more until you are at the point that he is only using it at night to go to sleep. That is what I did with my son. Tell him that he can only use it in the house, then in his room, then in his bed, then only when it is dark, or time to go to sleep. Eventually it will pass - my son was about 2 1/2. No matter what you do, don't give him a pacifier with the top cut off!!!

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I did do the thing where you cut the top off the pacifier, but what i did is I took it to my son and said, "uh oh, the puppy bit the top off," and for closure for him I had him throw away the pacifier. When he did that he realized that was it for it and was fine that night going to bed. If you have one left i would give that a try.

MAM.com The makers of MAM pcaifiers have a cute story and a way to help get rid of it. Google "pacifier story " also.

My 4 1/2 year old was a huge "chuki" baby. When she turned one I cut it back to just naps and bedtime. When she was two we cut the tips off and she wasn't interested in it any more. For comfort we replaced her chuki with a sippy cup of water. This worked for her.
My 13 mo old didn't take to her pasi until almost 1. She'll use it occasionally during the day but for the most part used at naps and bedtime. I'm sure that around 2 yrs I'll see what works to break the habit.
I think that each child is different and what works for one might not work for the next. I suggest to keep trying and your son will be just fine.

Good Luck!

Hi V.,

I don't think you need to worry so much about getting rid of the pacifier just yet. It will not hurt his teeth until his permanent teeth grow in. My daughter has a real problem with sucking her thumb (she is 2) and my doc suggested that I try to switch her to a pacifier because it is easier to ween her off of that than it would be to stop her from sucking her thumb. Her logic behind this is that as they grow older and are around other kids they will help take care of it by telling her that (I know this sounds bad) only babies use pacifiers, then she won't want to use it anymore. It made sense to me and it certainly is good to know that no permanent damage will be done by the pacifier at this stage.
Hope this helps.

You might want to get an opinion from a different doc than your own as well.

Good Luck to you!
M.

How long has it been since you cut the tops off? Unfortunately, if you 23 month old is very attached, it will probably take some crying nights before he gets over it...maybe even a few weeks. My daughter just turned two. She also was very attached to her pacifier. She was about 21 months when I finally buckled down and held out to her, especially since it was the last one in the house. We cut the tip off and told her it was broke. We just kept telling her the same thing over and over and gave it to her when she asked for it. She realized it wasn't functional anymore. Finally, she got over it after a few weeks. We have it as a keepsake though. A stepping stone I'm sure everyone can appreciate. Best of luck.

My oldest daughter was the same way with her pacifiers. She had to have one in her mouth, one cliped to her clothes and one in each hand before she would go to bed. I tried talking to her about it, I tried cutting the ends off, and it did not work. Finally I just threw all of them away. She cried every nigh for a week straight, but then she was fine. You just have to be strong enough not to give in.

S.

When our daughter turned two yrs. old we told her that she was too big now for the pacifier. We took it away cold turkey. I know that may sound mean but we had already cut it back to just night time. She cried for it for about a week and a half. We just stuck to our guns and didn't give in. After that she would ask for it now and then but wouldn't cry for it anymore. And now no more pacifier.

L.

Fortunatly my daughters never took to the pacifiers. So I do not know how to help you. I just hope you are able to help him before he gets to old. My nephew is 4 1/2 and still uses the pacifier. It has slowed his speech development and he has even been rejected by preschools because of it. Good Luck

I think you ladies who came up with the Build a Bear idea is ingenious! My problem is, my daughter (who's 14 mos old) has never cared for stuffed animals. She'll barely touch them. It's not that she's afraid of them or hate them, she just doesn't care to have anything to do with them but instead preferring hard, non squishable toys. Any other brilliant ideas on what to do to get rid of the paci in that case?

I work in labor and delivery at a busy hospital in Denver. One evening we had a mom and dad and small child (probably around 2 years old) come in and give us a small wrapped package. The mom said that it was a gift to all the new babies that were going to need a binky. The girl handed it over and said thank you to us for taking her binky. Now, I have no idea what happened on the other end of that, but I do know that it was painless as she gave it away.

With my son and daughter we just threw them in the trash when they were 15 months old and they cried for a couple of nights, but they are both happy and well adjusted children so I don't think it did any lasting damage.

Good luck.