The Moral Obligation of the Parents

You can't put an age on when you'll stop providing guidance to a child. Even as adults, maturity levels are always different. Heck, I have a brother who will be 30 in 5 months who's as immature as an 18 year old.

You never stop being as worried and as involved in your kids' lives. I say this after considering my mom's relationships with us kids, and also my husband's parents' relationship with their kids. They still help out my husband's brother's family financially, and he's 37. As far as my mom goes, she's always getting calls from us for advice. It never stops, and thank goodness for that!!!

I think the only time you have to "decide" whether to continue supporting a child, whether it be financially or emotionally, is if they're full grown adults, and it gets to the point where you've become the "enabler" rather than the guidance guru.

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I was never too old to need my mother. When I moved out of her house I found that I needed her advice and guidence more than ever. That is when I realized that she was not so dumb! hahaha! We teenage girls think our mothers are so square. She died at age 54 just five years ago and I still find that I need her and sometimes just want her. I will never get too old to need my mother.

Keep it up and relish in the fact that they are learning that you are not so dumb anymore........you will be validated.

Thanks to your young adults for serving in out military. They are doing a wonderful thing and I appreciate them greatly. (I am a military brat and a former military wife)

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If you look at it as an obligation then it stops at 18. If you look at it through a parents eyes, I don't believe it ever stops. If a "child" is in need of some help and you can give it then I see no problem. If this said "child" is doing nothing to help themself then there of course needs to be some sort of limit on what a parent will do. Everyone needs a little help now and again!!

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My question would be a moral obligation to provide what? Love and support and encouragement and guidance (sp) are a lifetime deal. As far as financial support... I guess that would vary according to your feelings as parents and also with your means of ability. If you are able to support your child financially, obviously you shouldn't let your child live on the street. However, if you have exhausted all efforts on trying to teach your (adult) child to be successful in supporting himself, and he still doesn't get it and expects you to pick up the peices, then I feel you have fulfilled your "moral obligation." As far as that aspect is concerned.

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As long as they are needed. You will always be a parent.

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Always and forever! :)

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Lets see, how long to provide a moral obligation, that's easy as a parent you are never obligated it is your duty as a parent to set moral standards into your children even after they are adults and it will never end. Now financial aspects and others is another story. If you have instilled values and morals into your children while they were growing up then they will make wise choices in their life. From a Blue star Mom, Hoorah

Legally, you must provide financially until they are 18. I would think that it depends on what your personal morals are.

I know people who are still depending on their parents into their thirties, and it's nice that the parents are able to help out; I also know people who haven't had anything from their parents since their early teens or before, and they are able to make it without the help.

I think a lot of people think they need the support just out of habit of getting it, but would be just fine in the long run w/out it. I know it can be frustrating though.

My sister sometimes gets a little jealous and says that our parents are always buying me and my kids nice gifts, saying that just because I had kids first, I get better treatment. My parents just bought her a house (the second one in 9 yrs) so she could go back to school (again!) Personally I think that is going a bit too far, but I'm probably just jealous because I'd like to go to school too, and I don't get a rent free house. I love my sister and of course don't hold it against her, I just think she is more spoiled than I am---I sure as heck know that I am spoiled =0)

I think ALL parents want to do what they can to help their kids out, but some may take it too far, while others may not take it far enough. Do what you FEEL is right, but, of course, you'll have to compromise with your husband, since he's who you'll be left with when the kids are all grown and gone....after all, kids are meant to grow up and leave, but the spouse we choose is supposed to be there for life!

Good Luck to you and yours

I think that there is not a cut and dry answer to your question. It depends on the child. Our responsibility as parents is to create individuals who can thrive in society. I think that, within reason, we are responsible until we have fulfilled that to our best ability.

I know of families whose children have to get jobs at 16 and start purchasing their own clothing, toiletries, gas, insurance, etc... or some part of those things. I think it is important to teach kids to manage a budget at a young age and then to help them do so at 16 so that by 18, they are ready to be independant. I do not, however, think that they should be pushed out the door at 18.

I think at the age of 18, you have to make a decision with each child's best interest in mind. If the child is going to college, then I think parents have an obligation to help provide for that child. They can live at home rent-free while they are a full time student, or, if they are away for school, then they have to work to provide for their day to day needs while the parents help pay for school.

On the other hand, if a child has no intention of continuing ed, then they need to be encouraged to get a job and get out on there own. My opinion is that children should be independant other then schooling by the time they are 21. I don't think that the world's decision to push 18 yr olds out the door is necessarily a good one. Some kids are ready, and some are not. I think our moral obligation is to help them get ready by 21.

It depends on what you mean when you say 'provide for.' Your children are yours for life and if they have hit a rough patch or sorts or are just having a hard time breaking out into the real world then if you have the means you should help them out. I lost my job when I was pregnant and was unable to attain a new one because nobody would hire a pregnant person. If my parents hadn't been there to help us out financially at times we probably would have lost our house. My mother has pretty much clothed our son his whole first year and bought us formula and diapers too many times to count. We appreciate every bit of help we've received and let them know all the time that we plan on paying them back.

On the other hand, if you have a 20 something child (or older) that is living at home, not working and not even trying to better themself in some way (find a job, go to school) then there may be a point where you need to tell them to find a new place to crash.

It's really not a question you can give a single answer to. I really think it depends on the child and the situation, as well as your personal feelings on the matter. I hope this helps :)

My husband believe we are responsible to provide for our children until they are of legal age and have completed High school. The only exception would be if a child had special needs. We have told the children they can remain home rent free if they choose to pursue higher education, but if not they need to find employment and support theirselves.