The Doctor with My 15 Year Old?

had same response to doctors, and its thought to have been when I was a baby I was very sick with a rare syndrome and was constantly at the hands of doctors in white coats, and medical equipment. It stayed with me for all this time. Even now at 36 I can not walk into a doctors office with out almost passing out. I had 3 babies as well and it would cause me to have false BP readings, since if I step inside a medical facility I get super high BP get sick to my stomach and almost pass out. I have explained this to my doctors and now they let me sit for some time, and are very understanding and they take off the coat and put me in a waiting room or lounge before I start an exam in order for me to calm down. They try to be accomodating but sometimes people are just scared, she may be scared as to what they are going to do, if she has a low pain threshold she may be psychicing her self out before the visit, as well as she may have something to hide that she does NOT want the doctor to discuss with you. I think a heart to heart is in order to find out from her what she wants to do and what is most comfortable for her. My sister was always great about talking anything with my mom. ME I hated it... I avoided it like the plague. We were just different animals :)

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I actually get panic attacks and always have elevated blood pressure and everything when I have to go in for even the simplest of things. We recently had to go in for basic blood work and a simple blood pressure read for health insurance. I actually hyperventilated and had low blood oxygen levels as a result and turned a little blue as well as elevated blood pressure, not within dangerous levels but what they call borderline high blood pressure. I don't have high blood pressure. I actually had a nurse once say "Ah, you get whitecoat-itis". She was wonderful in helping me calm enough to get my blood pressure to drop to normal levels. It is a genuine condition. It's gotten so bad in my case that even when we go to bring our children for their checkups my heart races etc.
I've had this for as long as I can remember. When I was younger there was no reason for it like something happening to me. But I could not help it, I was afraid they'd find something wrong or something I guess..I really don't know. I do admit that now it's gotten worse because several horrible things have happened over the years,one of the worst is going into shock and almost dying because a doctor refused to look at the big red lettering that said I was allergic to penicillin and gave it to me anyway, through an IV so it was an instant reaction.
I don't go into the room alone which helps. I bring my husband and my kids in with me at this point. When I don't I loose it. The bloodwork I went in alone which was probably the big mistake. Just saying there is nothing to be afraid of doesn't help. My husband can tell you that. He got a little annoyed because we almost lost a huge discount on our insurance because of my panic attack(thankfully we got it squared away). He kept saying there was nothing to be scared of, it wasn't even a doctor it was a nurse and it wasn't a proper doctors office it was a clinic. Doesn't help. The only thing that helps me is a very patient healthcare provider that knows how to calm me down and have someone in the room with me that I know like my husband etc. I haven't found anything else that works.

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Why do our teens need to go to the doctor so frequently, unless there is something very wrong - i.e., they are sick or hurt? Or they are motivated to get birth control, and the parent agrees?

It annoys me how its become "expected" that they will go to the doctor every year. My older son had to go for sports physicals; otherwise, we steer clear unless there is a real problem or need.

Teens should be in the prime of their "health" lives, or at least headed there very quickly. I don't like how we've gotten to the point where life is not complete without a regular visit to the doctor.

So I guess my point is - does she really need to go? When there is a true need, maybe it will seem worth it to her (?).

JMO.

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she could have white coat anxiety....one of my girlfriend's gets it. she gets nervous and her blood pressure goes through the roof when she has to go to the doctor - ANY doctor.

Please keep the lines of communication open.

Ask her if she would like to try another doctor....ask questions that get her to respond with thinking an answer instead of just a yes or a no.

Model the behavior you want from her. If YOU are nervous - at 15 she WILL see that YOU are nervous. So she will act on that.

good luck

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Hmmm. I don't remember getting checked up that much as an adolescent/teen. What exactly are they checking her for? If she's healthy I don't see the need for a basic checkup, personally.

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I wonder if, instead of being in the room and then asking her if you should go out, you should just let her go in unaccompanied. When I was that age and my mom asked if she should go or stay, I told her to stay, because I didn't want her to think that I had something to hide from her. BUT, I really would have appreciated it if she had just sent me in alone.

That being said, yes, there is a chance she has white coat anxiety--I get it when I go to my OB (NEVER any other doc--just the OB because I am nervous about my weight or BP during pregnancy, and my nerves send my blood pressure skyrocketing.)

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Is she seeing a female or male doctor? Many people are nervous around doctors. What about having her see a nurse practitioner or a midwife instead? Sometimes it's just a little easier to see someone with less perceived authority. I always preferred my NP when I was in high school and college, she took time to get to know me and asked and answered questions.
Now years down the line, my midwife was so much more often when I gave birth than the OB I used for my first 2 births. I'll never go back to an OB unless I actually need one!

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Do you go into the room with her? I know at 15, there were definitely questions asked by thr Dr that i was not comfortable answering in front of my mother...

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I took my teenage daughter to the doctor and they just did a routine check up. Nothing embarrassing. My younger daughter and baby got the same routine check up all at once. There shouldn't be anything embarrassing until she's an adult.

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my Dd is only 6 but i can sooooo see her doing this. She does it even now over dumb stuff like openhouse at school, when i am with her. There are other times too. She doesn't seem to want me to comfort her, and can't accept any help or resassurance from me. I'll be looking to see if you get any great advice or insight.

I've read some that have posted after me and their advice sucks. have a heart to heart?? Duh-- I"m totally hearing that you have done that and SHE DOESN"T want to talk about it.. argggg.
Anyway, since she has an older sister, do you think she might be more comfortable with big sis taking her??

I was going to suggest preparing her for the visit by calling the nurse ahead of time and getting the questions they would ask her, so she could think about them and have answers ready, but with a nervous personality like that she may dwell on it all and get more nervous. It's so hard to tell, i took my dd to a chiro for the first time, she's 6 and we practiced what they would do and where they would touch her all in a fun light hearted way. We got there and she was soooo freaked out like i had told her they might string her upside down by her toes. I'm at my wit's end too. and i dread the teen years.

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I agree with Angela S. re: the annual well child appt. I stopped taking my 9 YO because she hates the doctor monitoring her sexual maturity - checking pubic hair, etc. I understand her feeling shy about it. When I was a child I never saw the doc for well child issues after the baby visits. Not until I became sexually active and then I began the annual pap smear appt.

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Any chance she's afraid you'll find out something embarrasing or upsetting? Perhaps she's afraid of you finding out during the exam she's pregnant or something related to matters in that department.

There's no advice, but maybe a heart to heart is in order.

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Our daughter can also be like this. She is and always has been just very private about her body. I have not seen her fully nude since she was about 9. "Privacy!" is her favorite word when she is changing clothes.

She is also funny because she always assumes, the Doctors "are going to find something terribly wrong" with her (that is from my husbands side of the family).

Or that they are going to need to do some "terrible test" or she will not know how to answer their questions correctly.

She was having some female issues and pretty much self diagnosed herself. But it took ALL summer to get her to make the appt and just get the blood test! Then she went for the actual exam where they then had to do a pretty invasive examination that she was not pleased about. they easily confirmed her suspicions and gave her a prescription.. She admitted she made too big of a deal out of the whole thing and has already set up her appt when she comes home from school for Christmas.

Of course she is now 21 and it has taken this long to realize there is nothing to worry about. That Doctors work for her. She can just tell them the truth about what is going on and they will listen to her.. No problems.

Just remind your daughter that the doctors have seen 100''s of patients all sizes and shapes.. That the human body is just something they deal with.. No judgements are made. Have her notice all of the people in the waiting room and tell her the doctor has pretty much seen all of these people without most of their clothes and when most of them have not felt well.

Also continue to always ask, "would you like for me o go with you or do you want me to wait right here?"

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Acknowledge her feelings or your observations: 'you appear very nervous' and yes it can be scarey sometimes to go to the doctor.No amount of reassurance in my lifetime has taken away those horrible feelings. But acknowledgement often does.
My sons got very nervous because the male doctor was checking their male parts and one of my sons lost a lot weight, went to the doctor and a foolish nurse asked him if he ever thought about losing some weight. He was devastated. It took a long time to get him back to the doctor. I finally this year (and he is twenty one) tried to let him see that he is empowered when he himself was allowed to make the call on his own, go on his and be by himself in the doctor.
Doctors are wonderful people sometimes, but some do have a bad bedside manner or are just having a bad day and if I recall those are the moments that send us fleeing back to our covers. So I say acknowledge the feeling, offer to do what you can and leave it at that.

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My daughter was diagnosed with cystic fibrosis at 2 1/2. She had so many tests, needles, etc growing up I figured she's never see a Dr. again in her life. Guess what! She's a medical assistant and a great one at that! Go figure!

Lots of good advice here. Also ask her if she wants to look for another doctor. It is possible that she has a very good reason to dislike this one.