The Dilemma of When to Have Child #2

the major cost of us having a second child was daycare!! diapers, formula and food just become a part of your budget and use coupons and deals as much as you can. since you are a stay at home mom, you will not have daycare to worry about...if you have another boy, hopefully you have saved clothes, even if it is a girl, use garage sales and craigslist to clothe her. be willing to cut back on activites (look for free stuff like the zoo, the mall etc) and use coupons and generics to lower your grocery bill, we even used generic diapers. it was no extra to add the baby onto insurance as we already had a family plan.

it was daycare that killed us, but we really tightened our budget and made it through the first year. we have two girls so had a lot of hand me downs, i use coupons religiously and buy used when i can. now our baby is almost three and we have a kindergartner...our daycare has dropped dramitically and i now am not so strapped.

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There never really is the perfect time to have a baby. The most expenses are the formula, diapers, wipes and child care, if you are a working parent (which I see you are not). For me, when my 4th baby came unexpectedly, our major concern was clothing. We had 2 daughters before him and our son is 8, so we didnt have any of his things. Friends and church were very kind to us and provided us with clothing for him. (otherwise it would have been a few pink things!) You might need another carseat too, depending on how old your child is when #2 is in the carseats you do have. There is help out there too, like WIC, that you can always check in on. Good Luck!

We didn't have the age issues, but we waited to have #2 when #1 was 3.5 (almost 3 when I got pregnant). Our personal comfort level was that we wanted to shephard him through "babyhood" before having a new baby. Financially, this meant #1 had outgrown all the the baby stuff--crib, toys, clothes, gear, stroller, etc., so that we had to buy NOTHING. It helped that both are boys, but even if we would have had a girl, a lot of the stuff was gender-neutral because we didn't know the sex of baby #1 before birth. It also meant that we never had two babies in diapers, formula, etc. Really, the only incremental costs are food, health care, shoes, and entertainment costs. (I about fell over when I had to pay for 2 at Adventure Park yesterday!) Of course, that age gap has its own challenges, but every scenario has trade-offs. We never regretted our decision, but I know it's different for each. I would suggest making a list, and perhaps talking to your OB regarding any health risks you're concerned about. Good luck!

I'm pregnant with my second. With my first who is 6.5 years old I was a single mother, financially challenged to say the least. I raised my child just fine by myself with little to no support from family. So I can raise one by myself you and your husband can raise two.

This second child so far hasn't been a financial burden at to me at all. If you already have all your baby stuff still like cribs,carseats,highchairs then your set! Diapers,wipes,food ya it's a bit more but I think it's worth it. If you have alot of family then I don't see why not.

The only thing I can see that is expsensive is adding another person on the insurance.

Plus your kids don't have to be like the Jones and have everything brand new and the latest gadget out there. If you can provide a roof,clothing, food, education and love that's all your children need.

I've already started making sacrifices with my life my daughter isn't going to be so spoiled anymore which is actually a good thing. Like at Easter I purposely didn't spend as much as I normally do on her presents/basket. She's going to have to not get as much because there will be two but it's really a good thing she was getting to much before. I've easily spent over $50 dollars in the past on her Easter basket/presents this year that dropped.

Is anyone ever financially ready to have another child? hahaha! Heck, we are expecting our 4th and if we waited until our "finances" were ready, we wouldn't even have 1!
You'll find a way! I found a great thrift store for baby clothes -- which saves TONS in clothing costs for babies who only wear them for a short time! Good luck!

I am also pregnant with our second child. The main issue we are having is definitely daycare costs. Luckily we have a good daycare that is giving us a discount.
We are having another boy so clothes wasn't really an issue. We decided to use cloth diapers and wipes on #2 so that will also save some money. Formula isn't all that bad since we use Members Mark brand. It's the same as enfamil but half the price. I also do A Lot of shopping at consignment shops and salvation army for clothing and toys. If you are really picky, you can find some great clothes for super cheap.
There's always a way to make it! You can do what I did and sit down and make a budget and then track all your expenses for a while to see where you stand, how much you have left over, what you can save and how much extra daycare/baby costs will effect that. That's the only way you're really going to know. Good luck!

i'm currently pregnant with our second; our son is 4. my husband sounds a lot like yours - i always knew i wanted a second, he wasn't so sure. we had a plan to wait until our son was older (for a lot of reasons), but i ended up pregnant about 6 months "ahead of schedule." :) we couldn't be happier.

fortunately, you're a sahm. my husband & i both work full-time, so we needed to wait until we could for sure afford 2 kids in daycare. no matter what people tell you, another kid is going to add to your expenses. we are very fortunate too - families who are supportive, grandparents who love to spoil, all the gear. we've still spent quite a lot of money on #2 already, but a lot of it is because we want to not because we have to.

i also understand wanting to get all of the pregnant & birth out of the way. i was 25 when pregnant with our son, 30 this time around & it's a LOT different. i have a lot of respect for moms who are having kids in their later 30s & 40s - i couldn't do it! :)

what worked with my husband was to sit down with our budget & a plan. i showed him exactly what our finances looked like for the month & was even overly generous with how much a second child would cost (i went overboard rather than being conservative). once he saw that we *could* afford it, we had to talk through his objections & overcome those obstacles. fortunately, my husband had a lot of compassion & understanding about my needs as a woman & mother even though he can be very stubborn!

i really hope it works out for you. i know just what it's like to know you are supposed to be a mom again & having to wait. :)

good luck!
J.
mom to chase (4) and paige (due 6.2.08)