The Child I Care for in the Summer Afternoons....

feed her. It's cruel to make her wait....just be firm & tell the parents it is your preference, because it's creating disruption & disharmony within your own family. Be strong.....

4 moms found this helpful

Tell the parents that you eat at 6:15. If she is still there, you will feed her dinner. Request that they call to let you know if they are going to be late.

Its crazy inconsiderate for them to pick their child up anywhere between 5:30 and 8:30 with no phone call to let you (and the child) know when.

You shouldnt have to alter your dinner plans for your family.

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If this were me, I would politely explain MY household routine and inform them that I will no longer hold dinner past a specific time, and that if they have not picked up their child by that time that she WILL be fed with the rest of the family. I would explain to the parents that I feel I'm being cruel and inconsiderate by making her watch my family eat and just as cruel and inconsiderate making my family wait in order to not feed their child, especially now that they are finding that they must come later than in the past. I then would let them know that if this arrangement doesn't work for them that I will completely understand that they may need to find someone else who's schedule is more appropriate to their needs. At no point would I ask them if any of this is OK. I would tell them it's what's going to happen and I would follow through. They will have 2 choices, deal with it or find someone else to watch their daughter.

2 moms found this helpful

Talk to the parents. Explain that while you completely understand that they want to have a family dinner at their house, it is causing some issues for their child.

Explain that you have dinner for your family at 6:15 pm at the latest, and that it is unfair to their child and to yours to feed two different things (ie, give the non-family member "special treatment"), and that you request to be able to give her a small, snack-sized portion of your dinner, because it's not fair to make her watch while others are eating. And also explain that the snack is necessary since often she would have to wait another hour or two to eat dinner with them and that is also not fair to make her wait and be hungry.

Do you know why the parents are late? Is it work? If so, and they work late, perhaps they could switch their family meal to breakfast instead of dinner.

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I would definitely express this to the parents. It is absolutely insane making their child wait so long for dinner, and it only makes sense that she eats there with you and your kiddos. If her parents are that strict with her not eating at your house, and making her wait so long into the night to eat, I would be worried about how she is being treated at home. That is way too late to make a child wait for dinner. What are those parents thinking?
If I were them I would love the fact that you would even offer to feed my child while she was there.
You are a very compassionate person with how you think of how that little girl may feel watching everyone else eating and she doesn't get to.
Definitely talk to the parents about this.

1 mom found this helpful

Are you getting paid for this? Thats my first thought lol. My second is say to the parents that you serve dinner at 6pm. That if they are not there by that time that daughter will be eating with your family that night. She can eat a snack before bed with her parents who are apparently getting to your house at bedtime. It is rediculous that a family would expect your family to not eat.

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I would be more concerned about why all of a sudden they are picking her up so much later. It seems like they are taking advantage of you and maybe hitting happy hour before being responsible to get their child and get home. Even if they are picking up some OT they should have the decency to call and let you know so you can feed her appropriately. I would absolutely bring it up to them and say that she is hungry and little snacks are not working. And also, pick up time is such and such and I need you to stick to that or I will be adjusting my rate to cover dinner for her. I would just lay it out there for them. Good luck.

1 mom found this helpful

I would tell the parents how you feel. I'm sure once they know what you have to deal with, then they'll let you feed her.

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You have to do what is right for your family. I have parents that come between 5:30 and 6:45. They don't tell me when they are picking up early and even if they said they would be late, they would probably be really late. I just feed them. If they don't eat at home, tough. You have already tried to make things work by eating later and now they are even later. Maybe you should go back to an earlier meal and she may be ready by the time they get there.

They don't want their daughter to eat dinner, even if it's past 8? Perhaps you can come to an agreement with them, that if it is past 7:45, she can go ahead and eat. By having a set time frame, that should help. Ask them point blank, if she is hungry that late, then what are some appropriate snacks she can have.

I also hope you are charging extra for when they have a late pick-up.

I would have a frank talk with the parents. Tell them you are going to serve dinner at XXXpm and that if she is still there she will be sitting down to eat with your family. They not only need to be thinking about how cruel this is to eat in front of a hungry child but it might spur them into starting to come get her earlier.

If they don't like then stop watching her. They are being cruel by not allowing her to eat at a reasonable time....plus, she may not have eaten anything solid since lunch. I know the after school program at the Y gives the kids an afternoon snack of a juice box/bag and a bag of grahams crackers or some other light snack. She may not even be getting that much at her program.

its a tough call and depends on if you need the extra money so much you don't want to risk upsetting them, if so I guess you have to deal, if not I'd do what everyone else says and explain that if they are going to be there later than 6pm she gets dinner. Its not fair to your kids that they get to watch a kid eat snacks while they have to eat dinner. That must be fun explaining to a toddler why they have to eat a meal and not follow suit. Also the kid shouldn't get special treatment.

feed your kids but give her a snack.

You're being put in a tough position. We eat around 5:30 or 6, so I can't imagine eating waiting that long to eat dinner, especially for a child. You don't say how old she is -- is she school age and will soon be getting up early for school again? I think I'd just lay out all that you've written here to the parents. I don't see how you can deny food for the child if she's hungry! I understand that they probably want to eat dinner as a family, but they need to be realistic. Maybe dinner at your house and a snack before bedtime at home while mom and dad eat dinner?

Well, can't you give her a 'snack' while your kids are eating dinner? Give her some fruit, cheese, crackers or yogurt and have her sit with you. And talk to the parents about calling if they're going to be late. Maybe if they're not back by 7:30 she can eat with you?

But yeah, this arrangement doesn't seem fair to any of the kids.