Thank You Notes - Sour Lake,TX

It's sad but I think manners are not being taught anymore.

My house rule... You get a gift... A thank you is hand written and mailed within 24 hours. That is just common courtesy to the gift giver. No email thank you, along with a verbal thank you.

That's just standard at my house but I've seen very few thank you's from the recent graduation gifts I sent out.

People just don't seem to care anymore. Same goes for RSVP. That's another pet peeve of mine.

5 moms found this helpful

They're rude. Honestly, if I spend $100 buying you a wedding gift, write a thank-you note. How hard is it?? If my 6 year old can do it, it's not difficult. Or, alternately, if someone thanks me in person or via a phone call, then I wouldn't expect a handwritten note - but SOME acknowledgement should be made. I hate to ask them, "Oh, did you ever get those place settings of china we sent you for your wedding? Because if not, I'll follow up with Macy's and have them track the shipment." I mean, really. Who puts their friends in a position of having to ask that? They're rude.

3 moms found this helpful

I don't expect a thank you note. People who have just gotten married, had a baby, or just graduated are crazy busy and I don't want to get the obligatory thank you note just because they are "supposed" to write one. I would rather they spend their time doing something more productive than sending me a piece of paper that I am just going to throw away. It is nice to get a verbal thank you or to see their excited looks when the open the gift but the thank you notes, if written, always seem a little forced. We usually do verbal thank yous unless I know someone is going to be offended if I don't send a card.

3 moms found this helpful

This happens to me all of the time. I find it very rude that I took the time and energy to get someone a present, and to top it off, spent good money on a present for that person and they can't take 5 minutes to write a thank you note. I think we are in a society where things are expected instead of appreciated, so thank you notes are going by the way side. As for me and my family, we will continue to write thank yous for gifts we have received! :)

P.S. Can you tell this is a pet peeve of mine?!?!

3 moms found this helpful

I cut new moms major slack, especially for the first baby. I've even gone so far as to hand them the gift and say "Do not write me a thankyou note" and most seem grateful to be let off the hook.

Newly married? You get a few months- I had the huge wedding, the two-week honeymoon and the craziness at work when I returned, so I completely understand how that goes.

Anything else that I give? Ditto T F. from Plano. Get that note out immediately.

I think (hope?) there will be a resurgence in writing thank you notes. There seem to be plenty of us here on Mamapedia that understand the value and importance of good manners. Let's get the word out ladies!

2 moms found this helpful

I say they are rude - but so are many other people. I went to my cousins wedding back in June and got a very descent present for her - but no Thank You card. I didn't even get one from my SIL for her baby shower and her reasoning is we are family and she can verbally just tell us thanks. I don't think it is the same. Writing a Thank You note is puting time and appreciation into the letter and letting the gift give know this.

Good luck

2 moms found this helpful

I am a firm believer in thank you notes for myself and my children. Sadly though, they are becoming a thing of the past. Often people either do not acknowledge gifts, or think a blanket email is acceptable. I WILL NOT give up on the way I was raised simply because other people have gotten lazy, and my children will carry the torch for as lng as I have a say.

2 moms found this helpful

People should still send thank you notes for major occasions like weddings, baby showers, and graduations. I also make sure my kids send them for birthdays and xmas/hanukkah (I write them, but my son is getting more involved as he gets older). I think it is kind of rude not to send it, partly because it is polite to say thank you, but also because you want to make sure your gift was received and not lost in the mail somewhere.

1 mom found this helpful

Brides are supposedly given a year to send a thank you note. Good grief!

I wrote on notecards the names and addresses of everyone who was invited to my wedding/showers and kept them in alphabetical order. When I got a gift (wedding or shower), I wrote the gift on the card, wrote a thank you note, and marked that I sent the thank you on my alphabetized card.

Lots of people brought gifts to my wedding, and I didn't actually see what was in them for 2 weeks because that's how long I was gone for my honeymoon. I worked hard to write the notes the week I got back. I didn't want them hanging over my head!

There have only been two people who never sent thank you notes for a wedding gift I've given. I just chalked it up to one being too self absorbed, and the other going through some really bad stuff right after the wedding, bless her heart. (Her husband lost his job, her aunt died, and then her parents died, all within 6 months. She had to handle all the estates.)

With graduation presents, I would say it's the parents' responsibility to make sure that their kids say thank you. My son just graduated from high school, and he doesn't get the money put in the bank account unless the note is written and sent. He was very diligent about it with all of them while he was still here. He's working out of state now and I have two waiting here for him. Hopefully he'll get them written soon.

D.

1 mom found this helpful

I am guilty of sending my thank-you notes later on, but I do call to say that I have received the gift and appreciate the thought. I have let my people know that my notes come later (for things like wedding gifts and baby gifts) because I like to be able to tell the gifter how I'm using the gift and in what ways I have found it to be invaluable. For baby, I like to send pics.

That said, the recipient should at least send a note or call to say, "Hey, I got your gift. Thanks so much for thinking of me." The note should still come later.

1 mom found this helpful

I would like to think they just haven't got around to it but it has been a couple months since graduations.

I forgot what the guidelines are for getting them out. I think it is two months after the wedding or something like that. We got married a little over two weeks ago and haven't started them. We just got back from our honeymoon Monday, still a little jet lagged, now I am back at work trying to get two weeks of work done in three days. We will start this weekend but I can't see being done for at least three weeks. It is not that they aren't important but keeping a roof over our heads is just a little more important to us.

Wow looking at the answers I wonder how quickly people want their notes. Yeah I can scribble thanks for the bucks and have had them out the day after the wedding. After all I bought the notes and stamps, even addressed them, before the wedding. Thing is their gifts mean something to me. I think the note needs to be thoughtful, not some form letter. I really am confused.

Our lives have gotten so much more crazy and busy than it used to be. Now, people have so much crammed into a day that I think they plan to do thank yous and then once a lot of time passes, they are too embarrassed to send them.

If the person is genuinely a grateful person, just enjoy that they appreciated the gift. If they are not a grateful person then it should be no surprise that they didn't acknowledge the gift.

I know a few people who were never taught to write thank you notes but there are still very much proper.

Brides have a year to send thank you cards, (or 18mo if your gift arrived after the day of the wedding) traditionally speaking. It's in part due to the sheer amount of time it takes to handwrite 100-500 notes, but more due to the fact that new brides are expected to be going on honeymoon, and then setting up a new home. Bare minimum, that's expected to take 6 months. The first year of marriage is chaotic, hence the different rules. So if it's been less than a year...

Graduation gifts are supposed to be recognized by start of the new term. Aka, by the end of September. Since it's only July, they've still got 2 months.

My go-to rule:
It is NEVER too early to express gratitude for any kindness
and
It is NEVER too late.

A note of thanks is best because it takes more thought.
A call is nice. Emailing is the least desirable. It is the
least personable.

One of the very best characteristics to model to a child is
gratitude. If they aren't taught to acknowledge a kindness,
hard to learn on their own.

I see posts about thank-you notes often on here and I will give you my usual response. If the reason you give a gift is to receive a thank-you note, that's what's rude. Giving a gift is giving a GIFT. When you give a gift, you expect nothing in return.

Having said that- should people extend a thank-you? Sure! But I've never gotten one and I couldn't care less.