Terrified of Mmr for 2 1/2 Year Old

Updated on August 02, 2016
M.F. asks from Los Angeles, CA
26 answers

Hi, Moms! My nearly 3 year old son is fully vaccinated -- save for the MMR. I know it's irrational, but I'm terrified for him to get it. It's this huge hurdle that I'm unable to climb. I am not "anti" vaccination (so no need to inform/berate me about the benefits - we did opt for a slower schedule, though), but I have the most awesome, gregarious, happy, funny kid (if I do say so...) and have heard all the horror stories. Does anyone have personal accounts of their kids changing in any way after the MMR or going from healthy & happy to autistic or just general warnings? Not just things you've read on the internet -- I mean personal stories that happened to you or people you know. I also heard you can't get them separate anymore, which I thought was an option. Not sure what to believe and want to get this done at some point with information under my belt. Thanks so much for your help!!

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So What Happened?

Hi, Everyone! What an incredible response to my inquiry. I will be doing my due diligence, but am aiming to get the shot at his next visit. Thank you all so much for your kind words and invaluable insight. I greatly appreciate it.

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K.M.

answers from Boston on

No problems at all to report for any of 5 children. However, I have seen photos of kids at Boston Children's with severe cases of measles, in intensive care.

1 mom found this helpful
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F.C.

answers from Tampa on

I know it is scary and I will be honest with you - no changes in my kids. I would like to let you know that the study that linked the MMR vaccine to Autism has been disproved as it was never done properly and there is no link between the two. Good Luck

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J.M.

answers from Boston on

Here's the thing - you know it's irrational. You said so. You then must know that the science proves that there's no connection between the MMR and autism. It's like when people say that the flu shot gives them the flu. That's just not possible - the flu shot is a dead virus. They might get flu-like symptoms, they might already have been incubating the flu, they might just have a cold. But they DIDN'T get the flu from the flu shot. Your healthy 3 year old cannot "catch" autism from the MMR. Yes, there can be side effects, and I obviously can't promise that nothing bad will happen to your son. And yes, people do survive measles, mumps and rubella. But you are letting your admittedly irrational fear stand in the way of your son's health. Good luck with your decision.

4 moms found this helpful

B.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

My almost 5yr old hasn't had it yet. My oldest didn't get it until he was 5. We follow our own vax schedule, only one shot at a time, at least 2mos apart, no MMR until after age 3, no Hep A, no chicken pox......

Get it for him when you are comfortable getting it.

2 moms found this helpful
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M.F.

answers from Phoenix on

All I can tell you is that, in 17 years of working in childcare and caring for almost 200 children in that time period who all received their MMRs on schedule at 1 year-including my own daughter, I have NEVER seen a child change in ANY way after receiveing their MMR or any other vaccinations. I beg you, for the sake of your child, don't wait any longer and have his vaccinations completed!

2 moms found this helpful
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N.T.

answers from Dallas on

I asked the same question when my son was about to get his MMR shot! I was so nervous! I ended up getting it for him at 15 months with no other shots at that visit. I feel much better knowing that he is vaccinated against the diseases. He was fine after the shot! My two month old had her shots today, and yes I am nervous about the shots, but want my kids to be healthy! Good luck with your decision!

1 mom found this helpful
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S.B.

answers from Kansas City on

if you're really scared, you can ask your pediatrician if he can split it up, so that he's not getting all three at once.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.C.

answers from Tampa on

I know of no one who experienced a severe reaction but I totally understand your fears. My son just turned 27 months and had his MMR a couple of weeks ago....whew, I am just glad its over with! I vax'd him slowly/spread out shots by at least three months and avoided a few for now (Hep A, B and Varicella). I was terrified of the MMR but started reading more and more about some recent measles related deaths in children and finally bit the bullet, held my breath and let my son receive the shot. I was on eggshells for days holding my breath and waiting for something terrible to happen to my beautiful boy. I brought him to our bed the first night too because I could not sleep thinking he would have a seizure in the middle of the night and I would not realize it (because of some scary story I read of sever side effects) .but thankfully, he is just fine. No reaction at all. Yes, I've read the autism scares but what so many people don't realize is that autism is not the only reason some of us fear/delay/space shots. The preservatives in the shots are disgusting. I hate the fact that I am injecting him with neurotoxins....no matter how small the dose. Anyway, I too wanted to split them up when I was ready to do it, but as of now, Merck is no longer making them solo. They may start again, but in my research, I was unable to find a date when separate shots would be available again. You may have better luck. Good luck to you with whatever you decide.

1 mom found this helpful
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C.G.

answers from Davenport on

The whole MMR scare started with a study done by Dr. Wakefield in 1998. He did a small study "proving" MMR caused autism. Then he proceeded to try to sell his own MMR vaccine that he said would not cause autism. Since then many studies have been done to replicate his study...all have failed. His study has been retracted from medical journals because it has now been proven to be unfounded.

1 mom found this helpful

H.S.

answers from Cincinnati on

I could have written this post! My son turned 2 in March, I skipped the MMR at the 18 month appt, and then skipped it again on his 2 year check up..... I just cannot do it. I think that I will.... But maybe not for another year!

1 mom found this helpful
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C.B.

answers from Detroit on

A friend passed this along to me.
http://www.askdrsears.com/thevaccinebook/
It might be of interest to you. I just got my first son's done at 3 1/2. I was so nervous for a few weeks. But feel relieved to have it done. All was fine.
After reading this, I will probably just wait until 4 years old for my other children.
I know alot of people will say what the test say and all that, but I completely understand you are going to have fear no matter what because of all the different information out there. I am not sure if anything will cure your fear, but maybe waiting a little longer will put you at a ease a little more.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.C.

answers from Fort Wayne on

I'm going to speak in broad generalizations, i'm tired and I don't have the time to look up all the actual names. It may make me sound like an idiot, but I'll say what I can remember in my sleep deprived state
The study that showed the MMR was linked to vaccines was complete and total BS. The guy only did the study on a very small number of subject and the results have never been replicated. There was some talk that he even made up the results. There is NO proven link between vaccines and autism. I know in my state (OH) kids have to be fully vaccinated before they can start school. Just take your son in, say a prayer, hold your breath and it will be over before ya know it! Good luck!

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S.P.

answers from Los Angeles on

Please read this:http://www.healthbeatblog.com/2010/02/autism-and-the-mmr-...
The "myth" was started when Dr. Wakefield published a study claiming a connection. It was founded in speculation and had no validity. He has since retracted his claims of the "connection."
The reason why some impressionable folks will say, "Hey, my kid got the MMR then started to regress and show signs of autism," is because the shot is given after a child turns 1 and-- Guess what? Autism also starts to show itself around 1-1 1/2.
The reason that cases of autism have risen per capita in recent years is because doctors have been giving out this diagnosis much more frequently. Insurance and medi-cal pays for an autistic (or spectrum disorder) child to have speech therapy and physical therapy, but they won't pay for it for a kid who is just a little slow.
Measles kills kids by the dozens every year in the United States.
The vaccine will not give your child autism, educate yourself.

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M.G.

answers from Minneapolis on

My daughter is almost 2 1/2 and we just took her in last week to get the MMR. I initially wanted to have her get the individual shots for M, M & R but when I did the research last year, I found out that Merck wasn't manufacturing them separately at the time and won't until at least 2011. So, I decided to wait until my daughter had developed good speech patterns - a recommendation I read once. I'd say to into account that your son is almost three (you'd usually have seen signs of autism by now) and factor in his speech - if it's good then I would vaccinate without fear. One head's up, kids typically get a booster dose of the vaccine before kindergarden. Being that he is getting his first dose behind "schedule" he likely wouldn't need a booster at that time - you can check by having his doc do a blood test at that time and go from there.

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D.G.

answers from Boca Raton on

I think it is good that you are waiting to give you son the MMR. My story is yes my son changed after the MMR shot......I have video and Medical Records to prove it. He was given the MMR at his 18month check up. At the time he was doing everything on time, was very social, looked when you called his name......he was perfect. After that time he stopped looking at us stopped talking became unsocial ect. He was not diagnosed with Autism until 3 1/2yrs old. We had already vacinated my daughter on the same schedule. She also has Speech Problems, was diagnosed wit PDD/NOS a form of Autism. She is doing well not definatly not as affected as my son. She is in a typical class but has hardly any eye contact, not very social in big groups, and has high anxiety issues. I feel in a few years her diagnosis will be cahnged to Aspergers which is a very high functioning Autism. I also have to say that I do not feel that the vaccines were the #1 cause. I feel that there must be a genetic componet to it all as both my children are somewhere on the spectrum.
If I could go back and do it all again I would still vacinate but on a much differnet schedule. One vacination at a time spead out over 4 to 6wks maybe more between shots and I would hold off on the MMR until at least age 3 or 4. My children have not receiced the boster shots for the MMR but I did get the Titers blood tests done on both of them and it shows that they are immue from the first shot so there is no need for the booster in their case.
Good luck with your decision as I know it is a hard one. Please do what is best for your family

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L.O.

answers from Detroit on

if you dont want the vaccine dont get it...

but the diseases can make your child very sick. \

I have to comment on sunny's answer... they do not put mercury in any kid shot anymore.. even though the amount of mercury in there was very very very small. and it was a type of mercury that the body can eliminate in ashort time..

Also there are not differnt vaccines given to paying customers and local health depts... the MMR vaccine has only 1 or possibly 2 manufacturers..

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M.K.

answers from Houston on

I agonized over the mmr also - both my kids (7 and 2) have had all their immunizations and are not autistic.

did you know that the guy who wrote the original article in the lancet medical journal that caused ALL the furor has now said - (to all intents and purposes) "oh yeah, I was wrong about that, it doesn't cause autism" - all of the studies have proven that t does not - so be safe and get them vaccinated, there is no link to autism, autsim just shows up in the same age as we give the mmr

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M.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

yes. my oldest son definitely changed after his first MMR. I think that, though he was meeting all of his milestones and developing normally, he must have some kind of predisposition/neurological weakness. He also had a terrible regression when he got his booster at 5.

i am waiting until after my youngest son is 2 to get his first MMR.

i think that for a lot of kids, the vaccinations don't have an impact, but for some, especially boys, they can.

talk to your son's doctor.

you can also look for the vaccination broken up. pretty hard to find.

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T.A.

answers from Los Angeles on

Personally, I think you need to look carefully at each vaccine - read the ingredients too (you can find them online or request them from your doctor - and your doctor is required by law to give them to you, along with a list of potential side effects) - and weigh the risks of taking it, versus potentially contracting the illness.

Whether you choose to vaccinate or not, it MUST be an INFORMED choice. Also, if you choose not to vaccinate your child, you have to make sure you are building and strengthening their immune systems.

Everyone keeps talking about the MMR and autism... and it's true the jury is still out on that one. However there are other side effects and long-term problems that can arise from this vaccine.

Arm yourself with all the info you possibly can, then make your decision. Don't listen to what other parents have to say, as this is a very passionate debate. This is something you have to do on your own, without bias.

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C.C.

answers from Grand Rapids on

My kids are perfectly fine after all their vaccines. I never hesitated. They are there to protect your child, and everyone else.

It's good to be cautious, but personally I don't understand the fear with vaccines. I've read WHY people fear them, I just don't believe it can be justified with all the evidence proving it wrong and pointing to other sources.

Try not to worry! Good luck!

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S.G.

answers from Topeka on

My five yr old had all his shots as scheduled by the doctors office, the last set in the past month. No changes yet, keeping my fingers crossed that remains. I don't really belive the autism claims but like you was stilled concerned.

The reason for making sure he had all his shots were based on what the results would be if he didn't. I have to say being from a 3rd world country I got most of my shots later, I think all by the age of 10 though. Note however , I got mumps, measles (to name a few) but I am still alive so is my brother.

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V.K.

answers from Atlanta on

So what happened? Im on the same boat right now

Updated

So what happened? Im on the same boat right now

Updated

So what happened? Im on the same boat right now

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L.N.

answers from New York on

tell the pediatrician to split it up in 3s. he'll resists but tell him you'll pay for the expense. he will go for it. your son is almost 3 so you kind of got him out of the woods. the autism signs show up before the age of 2. waiting until a child is 3 is the best you could have done for him. second best is to have the vaccine split. good luck

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A.S.

answers from Denver on

If you were fine after the MMR, and your DH was fine, chances are your DS will be fine as well. It's hard to get around the irrational fear though! Maybe focus instead on how many kids *are* just fine rather than focusing on the very, very few who may not be. HTH.

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T.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi , I didnt have time to read your other posts. I have not given mine
the MMR either. I heard and hope this is true that Merck is coming'
out again in 2011 with separate MMR. Im holding out. Someone else
might have already posted this. But I heard this and my Dr confirmed,
but until it happens, we wait.

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M.L.

answers from Philadelphia on

My son is five and a half and about to get his first mmr. My oldest 24 had it on time and my 17 year old had his booster at five and had nothing but trouble remembering his letters and numbers. My oldest graduated magna in college great grades all the way through. My second child I have pictures days after rash on his face red ears etc. He also has eczema. So years later we have spread them out with this child and my son started getting bad really bad nosebleeds after hep b shot. No more of them. we went threw all sorts of testing to find out why. No results. My son has had no shot all at once or on time. We chose that for health reasons. he is really smart and no learning difficulties. So when he gets his shot we will see if mmr does cause anything. I have celiac's, so does my brother and niece. So we are feeding my son just for the weeks before and after gluten free and very healthy blueberries etc. to see if he gets no reaction. I will post again after wards. my son has never been in day care and large crowds except disney. we watch his exposure. We don't do playgrounds and mall rides etc. we wipe down anything he touches and wash his hands after we go to the mall. I chose this route for him watching my other child struggle and my son had a cyst on his brain and it went away but we are being extra careful. He is a blessing and healthy so we want him to stay that way. My son has friends they are all vaccinated and moms are aware he is not for mmr and help watch to help us keep him safe. school starts in the fall so we get done in april. I am really allergic to mmr. Almost died from it hospitalized and My oldest cannot have dpt after a bad reaction. I would not send him to school without it. I must tell you I am still scared. My husband has taken kids to the hospital with seizures from mmr and one case we believe the child died from the shot and one had diabetes three weeks after and one had blood cancer. he went through chemo and is doing well. I have plenty reasons to fear the mmr. If you have no family history and other kids who have no history I say wait til two and get it separated. Separate all the shots and build your child's immune system. I breast fed at night til he was two also and during the day til he was 15 months. He had no teeth til 11 months. I am not saying dont get the shots just separate them by the way My oldest don't have guardasil and they will not. Teach them to not be active and when they do decide it's time teach them protection. That shot only protects from hpv not aids, herpes
etc.

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