C.O. asks from Chandler, AZ on March 07, 2007
Terrible Two's - Chandler,AZ
I have a twenty month old son who is going through the "terrible twos". He will do something that he knows he shouldn't do or will continue to do something even after my husband and I have told him no. Time out and explanations don't seem to work. I would appreciate any ideas that anyone can give me :)
1 mom found this helpful
C.J. answers from Phoenix on March 08, 2007
Hi C., my daughter did the same thing so I asked my doc what I should do his advice was that if she didnt listen to my first request then put her in her bed and leave her there either untill she comes back out (because she has forgotten what she was doing to get into trouble) or stopped crying, my daughter was in a toddler bed so I would put her there when she didnt listen and she would come back out and I would tell her that she needed to understand that when I told her she had to do something or couldnt do something she should listen so she didnt have to go in her bed, He told me not to remind her what she did because it was the point of her having to listen when she was told. It worked great for us, she is going to be 5 now and listen really well. good luck.
M.S. answers from Albuquerque on March 09, 2007
Terrible Two's are so aptly named. Just remember that you are the adult and you have to hang in there. Do not give in to TT's (temper tantrums) and do not lose your cool. The best compliment I ever had regarding my children came from a mahn in the grocery store who overheard me say "no" to my 3 yr old's request for candy. He couln't believe she didn't have a TT. I explainded: "she's heard no before". Suggest you pay very little attention to his misbehavior. It's no fun if you lack an audience.
V.C. answers from Phoenix on March 08, 2007
Hi C.- I agree with Kelsey. He is proabbly feeling a little overwhelmed with the change. Some special "him and daddy" or "him and you" time would be great. Another thing that I started doing when I speak to my children in discipline is expect a "yes mommy" when I discipline. Such as... "Aidan, do not bring that baseball into this house, its too hard and will break something, take it outside." and Aidan replies, "yes mommy." It doesn't give them the chance to argue and it automatically moves them into "compliance." It has worked very well for our family and the other people that I know use it. Good Luck.
Z.B. answers from Tucson on March 09, 2007
Continue doing what you are doing and eventually he will understand that he cannot do those things anymore. Things will work after a while. Maybe you need to be a little more strict and be sure to catch him everytime he does something wrong or possible before the action occurs. He needs to understand that mommy and daddy are the boss and he needs to listen. Congratulations on your 3 week old!
G.M. answers from Phoenix on March 12, 2007
My son is going thru the terrible twos himself. Try to keep in mind that with children, we have to keep repeating ourselves. Even when it comes to telling them "no". Repetiveness is the key to children learning and growing. It's hard I know. My son will constantly mess with the blinds, and we keep telling him that he cannot play in those, but he does indeed test us and how far he can push. Your son might be testing you also to see how far you will go. Just remember, consistancy, and follow thru with each and every punishment and praise. Best wishes, G.
P.T. answers from Phoenix on March 07, 2007
Say what you mean and mean what you say.
He is testing is independence, not trying to disobey you. Check out Supernanny.us.com for advice and tips.
S.M. answers from Santa Fe on March 08, 2007
We tend to focus on what they shouldn't be doing which is why we end up saying no all time. So I've been in the practice of positive reinforcement (it takes practice to make it a natural habit). I make a note to comment to him when he is playing nicely, or sharing (look how well you share with your little brother), or any little thing (what a great helper, listener, eater, climber, painter, big brother, etc....). I try to be creative with my praise versus just giving him the generic "good job" everytime. This has really made a difference because now when I do something that he likes he gives me positive reinforcement (Thanks Mom, you're a good cooker).
I think Kelsey's advice is pretty insightful as well. Get him involved, it makes mine feel so good.
and yeeay on the new addition to the family
K.S. answers from Albuquerque on March 08, 2007
I noticed that you have a newborn. I imagine that the birth of your newest child has caused you son to feel like he is getting less attention than he used to get. He is probably acting out so yo will pay attention to him. Can you try spending some special time with just him when the baby is not around? Or try and involve him in the care of the baby? Going to the kitchen and getting a burprag for you m things like that. I hope it will settle down once he feels special and useful.
D. answers from Phoenix on March 08, 2007
I have a 2 1/2 yr old. and I feel like a broken record half the time. But repition helps, he needs to know that your answer isn't going to change. I've started having him repeat to me what I just told him. So then it's like he is saying it to himself. Then if that doesn't work I take away what ever he is playing with, that ALWAYS works. Good Luck to you.