Terrible Attitude...

As the mother of two boys, and former pre-school teacher, I can tell you this: The terrible twos are a misnomer, it's actually the terrible three's you need to watch out for! That said, it sounds to me like you need to get control of your situation, YOU are the parent, and this needs to be clear to your daughter. No child of three should be allowed to be out of control. I don't endorse spanking at all. You can use time-outs, taking away privileges, or whatever works. But whatever you decide to do, you need to be CONSISTENT. Your daughter needs to learn how to act in public and be around people, this is crucial. She needs to learn what behavior is acceptable and what is not. So stay on top of her! Be understanding of her moods, but let her know when her behavior has become unacceptable. Give her lots of love, but make sure she knows that she cannot throw tantrums to get what she wants. Also, try to work on communication skills with her, help her learn words and phrases that help her get what she wants without crying or screaming. Good luck!

Hi A.,
You are not alone there, but I have three of them that act like that all the time. My oldest who is almost 8 is getting a little better, the youngest of the 3 is just now starting it so it isn't so bad, but my 4 year old is a total terror. I never go out with all of them by myself if I can avoid it. I have asked for help from their doctors and none of them have helped at all. I just grind my teeth and bare it, but I just wanted you to know you aren't alone. V.

Well may i say this! i hae a daughter that is very strong willed she also was a angel until 2 1/2 - 3 and then she awoke one day and OH my Gosh!!!!! It lasted for about 4 monthes but Yo uahve to be firm and never give in no matter what! You will have to tapper your shopping and outings to her at this time sorry to say. I have a video of my daughter throwing a long length dressing mirrow of mine on the floor during one of her tantrums! She would get so pissed and cry so hard during her tantrum that she almost threw up!!
She is now 10 and still strong willed but not it's the pre teen years?! so it does get better just hand in there!

OH BOY,
I HAVE A 3 YEAR OLD SON THAT TEMPTS MY NERVES EVERYDAY. I CALL HIS NAME OUT ALL DAY LONG. I AM A STAY AT HOME MOM SO IMAGINE. I TAKE IT IN STRIDE SOME DAYS BUT I NEVER LET SOMEONE TELL ME THAT I DONT HAVE CONTROL. I LET MY CHILDREN'S PERSONALITY FLOW AND ENCOURAGE THEM TO EXPRESS THEMSELVES BUT WHEN I HAVE TOLD YOU MORE THAN ONCE SOMETHING AND IT DOESNT GET DONE THATS MY BREAKDOWN POINT. IN PUBLIC, I TALK TO THEM BEFORE WE GO ANYWHERE AND WHILE WE ARE IN THE STORE. MY CHILD HAS ACTED UP IN RESTURANTS, GROCERY LINE, EVERYWHERE. MY FAMOUS STARE YOU DOWN LOOK WORKS SOMETIMES BUT I ALWAYS SAY WE HAVE TO GO HOME LOL. CHILDREN ARE CHILDREN AND I LOVE ALL FIVE OF MINE DEARLY. I JUST KNOW THAT THE TIME WILL PASS AND THEY WILL GET OLDER AND I TAKE IT DAY BY DAY.

TRISMA, STAY AT HOME MOM OF FIVE
AGES 10(G)9, 5, 3, AND 9 MONTHS(B)
EDD 14 JULY 07 (HOPEFULLY A GIRL)

Don't feel discouraged. I have a 3 year old son acting the same way. He is very out of control also. I know the reason he is acting out is out of frustration. We had a major change in our home recently. I spent the entire month of September in the hospital due to pregancy complications, and our baby is still in the hospital. He used to go see his brother, but because of the ward he is on now, only family over age 12 can see him. My 3 year old gets very upset when we tell him he can only see pictures. He waited all this time for a baby brother, then mommy "went away", and his brother didnt come home with me. Too much for a little one to deal with.

I am wondering if your daughter may be feeling some sort of stress over a change in her life. Was there something that may have happened, like a move, new sitter, etc? As far as taking her to see someone, it couldnt hurt. I imagine it is mostly play therapy, and she may enjoy it. Good luck. Let me know if you find something that is productive for her behavior. I am shooting for when his brother gets home, we can settle into a routine and he will settle down.

Hello A. L, first off let me say I'm the mother of a 6 year old so I've been there. I know every child is different but here are a couple of things that worked for me. 1.) Time out with a timer, give her three minutes of time out when she has an outburst, make sure she knows you mean business- no toys no hugs, sit her in a chair or small stool in a plain boring corner of a room until the timer goes off add a half minute for each outburst after that, but never go over 5 minutes that's too long for a little person. 2.) Ignore her. I find if you ignore the outburst it'll usually go away, this one is only good for while you're at home. and 3.) Talk to her, tell her how it makes you and others feel when she shows this behavior, believe me they understand more than we give them credit for. Well I hope this helps. Oh!!!! I almost forgot this one is fun, show her how she acts, imitate her so that she can see how she looks to you. You'll both get a kick out of it and maybe she'll ask you some questions about the behavior I know mine did.

i understand completly on what your saying my 4 yr old throws himself on the floor, screams to the tops of his lungs everything he can just to get his way or just because he thinks he can... i have learned that taking he out of the situation and putting him in a room by him self and explaining that he can come out when he quits usally wrks, when he gets done i explain to him why i put him in the room... hes been doing this since he hit those terrible 2's.. i hope this wrks for ya!!

If it helps any I went through this 8 years ago. My now 11 year old had the terrible 3's instead of the terrible 2's. I did not know how I as a mom was going to survive it , but I did and she out grew it. As for us it was just a phase. Just don't give up , hold your head high and stand firm. I wish you all the best.

Sincerly
L. L