March 25, 2008,
J.P. asks from Westborough, MA on March 15, 2008
i really need help with this, Sean my two year old little man throws everything. no matter how many times i talk to,do time out, tap him on the hand.. he constantly throws everything.. toys, shoes, cups, binkies.. only thing that drives me crazy is when he does it when i'm driving or intentionally does cause he knows that i dont like it... i mean is it something that every child does.. and how do you get them to stop. And another thing is that sean has a thing with hitting people. not me of course cause i am the most firm person with him. he's gonna be going to daycare soon and i'm scared that he's going to be throwing and hitting other kids. i'm going back to school and really need him in daycare. what do i do?
C.T. answers from Bangor on March 17, 2008
Show him an alternate thing - that is okay to throw -- even inside.. For example: We had a soft ball that wouldn't hurt anything... and that was okay to throw (inside). Since we live where it's snowy most of the year, it wasn't feasible to only have throwing outside when trying to show an altertative/positive.
I took away all toys that my son threw and put them within eye sight (we had a stuff animal hammock that worked wonderfully). It seems harder, since it's not just toys and you can't take away cups and such.. but hopefully, the no throwing (of toys) carries over.
As for hitting.. again, I got something that was okay to hit.... One of those bop punching bags... Pillows in his bedroom...
If your child is throwing anything in the car.. then they should not have access to ANYTHING they can throw. That creates a safety hazard. Tell him: I can't give you X, because you choose to throw things. Once your child stops throwing things in the house... pre-teach... "I will give you this because you've been making good choices.. but if you throw it, you will loose it"
I believe in one chance only with hitting or anything having to deal with safety. I preach it often... be consistent so your child knows what to expect! :-)
J.C. answers from Lewiston on March 25, 2008
HI mother of three I have a very active middle child that was alot like that one thing I found is that he was doing this behaviour because he was getting attention/ or a rise from me.Even though it was negative he was still getting something out of it. You may want to try just ignoring the behaviour and see if it goes away. Just note it will get worse before it gets better if you do this so you do have to be prepared to wait it out. Another thing to if you take this approach be sure to catch him being good. As soon as the bad behaviour stops or look for ways to praise him when he does something good reinforce the good. This really help me with my son who I had tried everything else with. Another help to is something they call social stories that help kids learn about good and bad social behaviour you can find them online or you could even make up your own to deal with specific behaviour problems that you are having. And honestly I didn't think something this simple could work but after a few very hard weeks I started seeing a real change in my son's behaviour and even now that he is three I use this technique and it works great. It also works well with my 15 month old. Hope this helps.
C.A. answers from Hartford on March 16, 2008
With the hitting, I would do time out after giving 1 chance to stop the behavior. If he continues the hitting after the time out I would leave wherever you are (if possible) and tell you you are going home because he can't behave.
As for the throwing I would take away whatever it is he is throwing and not give it back for a reasonable period of time (the rest of the day if needed to make the point?). After the first or second time he should get the point and a threat to take away the item may stop the throwing in its tracks.
John Rosemond and Tracy Hogg (The Baby Whisperer) have good adivice on these kinds of things.
Hope this helps!
B.B. answers from Boston on March 16, 2008
My suggestion is to tell him where throwing is ok (outside) and a good idea to be sure he gets outside a couple times a day (weather permitting). As far as the hitting goes I would talk to him about how it hurts people when he hits them and show him how to do gentle touches. Day care providers are use to dealing with this sort of behavior (since it is typlical) and I am sure will deal with it just fine.
K.V. answers from Boston on March 15, 2008
Is he getting outside everyday to release all this energy? Boys especially NEED to be in the fresh air(cold or not)getting this physical stuff out. Go outside each day and spend time digging in the snow, sliding, walking around looking at tracks, birds and other things. This is so important. When you do this faithfully, he will channel that physical activity outside instead of inside. When you are outside, talk to him about throwing etc and the proper place to do that.