Temper Tantrums!!!

Hello H., children around that age love to say that nasty two letter word! The trick is to not give them the option to answer with it. For example: asking him to stop pushing the tv buttons. You'll excpect a no answer when you ask a direct question. Instead, try and offer him something else that's more interesting. As soon as he's checking out the interesting object remind him that he's not allowed to play with the tv. This method worked well for my daughter at that age. Just remember to use small short sentences that he will understand.

About the store or restaurant scenario. That's a toughie. You could try walking out of the store or restaurant. That has worked for me. Although, it's quite inconvenient at times.

Remember to nip things in the bud. Don't let him play with the remote if he's not allowed to play with the tv. One thing will lead to another.

Lastly, just be patient. This phase will pass!!

Good Luck,
J.

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You can rent the dvd "The Happiest Toddler on the Block." We rented it from Blockbuster online but you may be able to find it in a store. The video shows you how to talk to your child mid-tantrum and will help you shorten that tantrum, plus how to try to avoid them altogether. It's a great video & is also available as a book, but the video really lets you see how to talk and what kind of body language to use. I highly recommend it.

I always used the word "stop" rather than "no" because I liked the sign language that you use for stop. But pretty much all kids throw tantrums and you just have to ride them out. I myself am hoping that age three brings a bit of sanity with it! Crossing my fingers anyway.

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Your right, he is expressing his independence and letting you know how he feels HIS way. My recommendation would be this....when he is done throwing his fit, say "use your words" then say "wow, your upset" this gives him the chance to understand the feelings he is having and the acknowledgement that you care about it, also gives it a name. After you have said this, give him a second to digest what you have said and then try to get him to explain what he wants. Then look at him in the eye, get down on his level and say "we need to ask please if we want something, when you scream mommy does not understand you"

See how that works....

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Hi H., my gosh this is my daughter to a tee. except not only is it the word NO its I want it now so i just walk away let her have a fit i don't feed into it because it gets louder. I know its embarrasing but if other parents give you a look. just ignore and let your child continue doing what he needs to do.if these parents are steering so much maybe they can either give you some advice or they have been their them selves doesn't matter its none of there buisness.or what i have been doing is leaving mine at home and shop at night or i do it when she is at preschool.then she asks me why she can't go and i tell her because of her behavoir. she is 3 1/2 it will get better. there is no such thing as terriable two's they are getting ready for when they hit 3 good luck sweety it will work its self out, hope some of the suggestions helped it helped me.

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Hi!

I don't know if you have tried this or not, but instead of saying don't do that, or anything with a negative word in it, distract him with something else that he may possibly find more interest in. If he's got the remote, hand him his favorite toy instead and say "look what I've got!"

I've also done the "when you have a tantrum, I'm gonna imitate you kind of thing" and it actually worked. My daughter would look at me and laugh! Roll around on the floor with your toddler and pretend to be upset too. They will look at you like, mom, youre crazy, but the tantrums will stop. :)All kids are different though, but you never know...

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Hi H.,

I have a little girl that will be 2 next month. I'm going through the same thing. The one thing I've found to be very helpful when taking her to stores or restaurants is talking to her either in the car or before we enter the store. If we are going to Target or something, I explain that if she is good and lets mommy do her shopping, then she gets to go look at the toys (there is no buying or promises to buy anything - just looking). 99% of the time, this works like a charm because she remembers that if she starts acting up, I remind her that she needs to be a good girl and be patient - then she gets to have her reward of looking at toys. Also, I almost always put her in a cart or bring her in a stroller - it definitely makes a difference. It may take a few extra minutes, but it's worth being able to keep track of her and not have her throw herself on the floor when I'm shopping.

In the restaurant, I always make sure I'm loaded with things for her to do. This works most of the time. When it doesn't, either I or my husband will take her outside and have a talk with her. It's amazing what that can do. Granted, it doesn't always work and there have been times that we've just had to leave. But - it helps.

Patience is key. There have been many times when I find myself counting to 10 in my head. Just breathe! :) and don't worry about what other people think. Good luck to you!

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Sounds like my 3 year old. When my son throws tantrums in the middle of a store, I simply take him home. I tell him he can't behave that way and expect to get what he wants. As far as throwing himself down, I would talk to him like a person. I'd ask him why he's acting the way he is? Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. You have to be consistant. I find doing the same thing over and over gets the point across. He knows what's going to happen if....

I really hope this advice helps. I know it's frustrating. Be patient.

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We had success with putting our son in his room for a 2 minute time out (after telling him that we were going to do that). usually they're needing to release energy and trying to get our attention. he would do a good cry and then we always would go in and talk to him about why we did this followed by a hug and an "i love you" and somehow he would get it and come out in a totally different space. something else that works sometime is asking him to stop the behavior by the count of 5 or 10 and if he hasn't put him in his room, of course warning him that's the consecuence. these are just a few things that worked for us... we always keep communication open and talk to him like he understands. good luck...it can be so hard! ps. it may be inconvenient, but don't hesitate to remove him from a store and do a time out in the car. often they're overwhelmed with little containment.

I am going through the same thing right now with my son Elijah, he is very good most times but once he sets his mind to something he really wants, like, candy- it is hell!!! In public I have had embarrasing moments where I have just left my stuff in the store and walked out with him- to spare the embarrasment and the contagious energy he is throwing.. to my older son, Anjel. These boys are only one year apart 7/6 and it seems that over the years, he has gotten better. We sought counseling for anger mngt, stress disorder, and ADHD for this- the only thing that seemed to help is to make him aware of how it makes mommy feel- with that, he has realized that mommy only gives him what he needs and he must earn what he wants- there is a big difference.. your son will come to terms with that, just a little patience and lots and lots of love...

I hear ya. My daughter is 21 months old today. She is great for doing that in public. Well not really the know thing but the throwing herself on the floor and not wanting to walk. Especially if I tell her "walk." Then she does the EXACT opposite. Oh yeah its being independent alright. Sometimes I just pick her up and as we walk out I tell her "that was not ok." Granted ok she probably has no clue what I'm saying, but at least I'm expressing to her that its not ok, instead of not doing anything at all. Sometimes you can't wait you know what I mean? Sometimes you can't sit around in the middle of a public place, let them get through their tantrum, or pull them off to the side in a time out. Sometimes you have to pick them up and get them to the car. But express to them in a couple short words "that behavior is not ok." Or something like that. Use a stern voice. Instead of the happy mommy voice. Really what I'm finding is its a stage. If you can pull him off to the side and do time out, or let him know that its not ok, or you disapprove of his behavior, or if hes playing with something your afraid will hurt him, redirect him to one of his toys and tell him "I'm sorry but that will give you an owie" or something like that. Redirecting is a big thing these days. Its what daycares use. And its a great method of discipline without smacking their hand, raising your voice, putting them in time out, telling them no, and you can start it at a young age. But it is also as I said a stage. Sometimes you just have to let them throw their fit and then let them know its not ok. *shrugs* Sometimes I have the most difficult time with my daughter as she nears 2 years old. She is starting to not say no but shake her say or say huh uh... or just ignore me. Its hard but just hang in there.... try everything. Time outs aren't mean I promise!!

One of our Doc once told be that children hear differently than we think they ought to hear us, certainly I beleive my last child has the best vocab IQ - as a Mom I certainly struggled with the do's and don'ts of the english vocab with our last strong willed talkative testing little one. I think they also like to try things out of us and see what type of reaction we give with there newest little words. Just my first thought.

Praise the positive and overlook the little things - often easier said than done.

Have you tried redirecting him to some other activity? After telling him not to do that put him somewhere else. At his age he will return over and over to the place he's not suppose to be, but you have to be more stubborn than he is and continue moving him. I remember putting my daughter in her room over and over and over and over, (you get it) until finally she stopped testing me. It's just a battle of stubborness. He's testing you, it's important that you never let him win those kind of battles. Persaverience (spelling) will pay off.

i know how you feel, my son used to do the same thing. he would kick, scream, roll around and sometimes he would even purposely hit his head on the floor. even in the store, i would ignore him. it can be embarrassing, but if anyone ever looked at me funny i would just smirk and look at them like it was none of their business cause its not. never try to explain yourself, you don't owe anyone an explanation for how you raise your child. this method could take a while, but it works. the most important thing which took me a while to get right is to just not pay attention. act like you don't even notice him, dont get mad. dont even talk to ask if he is done. he is only doing for attention, and whether the attention is good or bad is of no concern to him.