Temper Tantrums - Akron, OH

Hello there ~ I agree with putting them in thier room. I have 2 children, my daughter was never a child who threw temper tantrums. I could always talk to her, and reason with her, and she understood. My son on the other hand is 3 and his temper tantrums started at 2. He is very different then my daughter. I tried different things, and I must admit, sometimes I give in to him. I have to learned to pick my battles with him. I found that we as parents, want the control, but yet in the same token we want our children to grow up and be able to make decisions on thier own. So I have made myself, allow him to be independent sometimes, when it isnt going to hurt him. Sometimes I can get him to stop throwing a tantrum if I tell him, remember last time mommy listened to you when you wanted too... and now its your turn to listen to mommy. Sometimes, it works !! Just yesterday, i picked out my sons clothes to wear to pre-school, he wanted to wear an outfit that didnt match. I said that doesnt match he started crying hysterical that he wanted to wear it. I said ok, today you wear this, tomorrow, you wear what mommy picks out. It worked. I gave into him yesterday, today he wore with no fights what I picked out. But when there seems to be no controlling him, or his behavior then I put him in his room and tell him, mommy isnt going to argue with you, when you want to talk to me, and stop crying then you can come out. Sometimes it works. Only you know your own child, and with trial and error, you find what works for you. Good Luck.

Ignore him/her. The less attention you give them while they're having their tantrum, the more they'll see they're not getting the result they're looking for. If he/she starts to have a tantrum, just walk away. Eventually he/she will see that you're not there and stop. It may take all your will power to do it, but don't react at all. My 2 1/2 year old tried the tantrum thing, but when it didn't work he quit doing it for the most part. He still tries it every now and then, but we do the same thing and he stops. I hope this helps!

~{@ J. G

I don't think you can stop them, but maybe reduce the number of them. Two year olds are prone to tantrums because they don't yet have the language skills to communicate. In addition, children's brains have not devloped the ability to think rationally until around age 6 when they begin to. They are purely emotional creatures and lash out emotionally when something is not right in their world according to them.

Try to keep your cool. Be present when your child needs you. Don't ignore or abandon them. Allow your child an out by offering a hug occasionally (Don't be surprised if you are first rejected). Don't allow your child to hurt him or herself. If you really need a break from it, remove yourself from the child's presence temporarily, breathe and calm down. Try to determine if there is an underlying need like for food or sleep. Try to figure out your child's triggors and avoid them when possible. It's not possible to completely avoid tantrums because many times you just don't know what's wrong. I've been there myself and this is extremely frustrating. Just don't take it personally. Every child tantrums from time to time.

Here's an article that might help.

http://www.jalexlang.com/parenting/discipline.htm

C.,

I feel ya to, I have a 19 month old son who if does not get his way or if he hears the word no, he will throw himself down on the floor, kick, scream, and even sometimes bang his head into the floor. It can be very hard to deal with, but what I do now is, when he starts throwing a tantrum, I will say "Carter, that is not necessary, do you want mommy to put you in time out?" Of course, he will ignore me and continue throwing a fit, so I pick him up, sit him in time out and I tell him that he needs to sit there until he is finished and that he is not going to get any attention from me while he is behaving that way. More than most of the time he will stay there and have out his fit, and I pay him no attention. I won't even look at him. On some occassions he will try to get up, but I will put him right back until he is done. When he is done throwing his tantrum, I then talk to him in a calm voice and tell him why he was being punished and how throwing a tantrum is not going to get him anywhere, but in trouble. I then will give him a hug and a kiss and he then is fine. It really all depends on how consistant you are and only you know what is best for your child. I hope this helps! =)

There is not much that you can do to stop them. The easiest thing is to ignore them and let them have their fits. Eventually they will figure out that nobody is paying any attention to them and they will get overe it.

I read the book Happiest Toddler on the Block by Dr. Harvey Karp... it really makes a lot of sense and had some GREAT tips. If you aren't a reader, he also has a video (Happiest Toddler on the Block)... you can get it from the library in Columbus maybe the Akron libraries would have it too.

First, I would try to analyze why your toddler is having temper tantrums. Lots of times our toddler has tantrums when she's hungry or tired... or uncomfortable. Try to diminish tantrums by avoiding or taking care of the reasons behind the tantrums.

One of the things Dr. Karp talks about is "Filling the tank." That means spending little bits of time throughout the day doing meaningful things with your toddler... read his book for some good ideas. (One of them is the "gossiping" technique. When he/she does something really great, gossip about it to dad/grandma/even a toy.) I've started using some of his quick techniques and have found an improvement... the techniques he uses don't take but a few minutes here and there.

There are many, many other techniques in his book. If he/she is having them alot it could be attention seeking behavior... have you tried making sure your toddler is safe and then just ignoring it (walking into another room)? If they don't have an audience, temper tantrums aren't nearly as much fun.

We have found that when our daughter is in the "heat of the moment" time-outs don't work. We did have some success though with putting her in the pack 'n play (which we have up for our baby) for a time-out.

Good luck! Toddlers can be SO emotional... but LUCKILY it's a phase that they will soon outgrow. :)

Hi C.,
I use to make my children sit i time out. They didn't like that at all, and if that didn't work, I would just ignore them. That's all they wanted was attention and if they didn't get it, they quit screaming. Terrible 2's. Always fun. Good luck, hope it was a little help.

www.babycenter.com has some great techniques to try to deal with the tantrums. good luck!

I am totally feeling you. My son turned 2 in June and that seems to be all I'm dealing with now. I have tryed talking to him, putting him time out, spanking and nothing seemed to work. I know you have to be consistant and these methods were not allowing me to be consistant. When he throws a fit I have now put him in his room, with a childproof doorknob cover, to not allow him to come out. I will tell him why he is in there and that he is in time out. I have even had to remove some toys, because it becomes quit a playtime for him. This way I take over the control and will tell him when he can come out. When I go into his room, I give him a hug and tell him I love him, and calm him down. I tell him again what he did was wrong and that we are going to go out in the living room and read a book or do something else. If he persists in tantrums then he goes back in the room. Now I just have to say to him, do you want to go in time out in your room, and he says No and I will tell him to stop the tantrum. Some times it takes several trips to his room, but this also give you a time out away from him while he is throwing his tantrum. This is the only thing I can do with my very strong willed 2 year old. Good luck, but once they are out of tantrums they turn 3 and sometimes that is worse!!

C.:

I had the same problem with my son. I questioned his pediatrician about it who told me to let him have his tantrum..but for me not to acknowledge it. Obviously, make sure your little one is safe and not hurting him/herself...but to let them have it and once they realize they are not getting the attention they want from throwing the tantrum, they will stop. It took a few times for him to realize it, but eventually it worked!!

GOOD LUCK!!
D.

The only thing that has really helped me is to completely ignore them. With my youngest, I would literally leave the room or put her in her bedroom until the tantrum was over. It doesn't take long to see them start to give up when the tantrum doesn't get the attention they're looking for.

Ok I have to say...I am kinda glad that I am not the only one that has a 2 yr old that does this. My son throws himself down and while hit his head on the floor, kick, scream, whatever he feels at the moment. I found out thru my MIL that my hubby did the same thing when he was little! I just try my best to ignore it. I will go into the next room and just not make eye contact with him at all. Once he sees he isn't getting my attention he will come over and talk to me. I can proudly say....he ONLY throws his tantrums at home, never in public. Thank goodness because honestly I don't know how I would handle that. I am sure I will face it sooner or later.....and I will deal with it then!
But just remember no matter what your feel or think you are being a great mom and you are doing what is best for you and your child. Give yourself credit! Never blame or beat yourself up!