Temper on the Changing Table

My almost-9-month-old has been doing this for about a month so I can feel your pain. I have a few friends who have babies the same age and they are all doing the same thing. The only thing that's worked for me is to get a toy that dances, lights up, or plays music for her to watch. It keeps her distracted just long enough for me to get the diaper on. I've also tried singing and acting silly so she'll pay attention to me and not want to be on her tummy. I've also figured out how to get a diaper on her while she's sitting...not easy but it can be done.

My first child did this at about the same age. Not to sound mean, but he's old enough to be told firmly NO and hold him down for a second when he squirms. Being commanding about this will only make things easier for you later when he's bigger and even harder to control. Explain that he must hold still and that it will take longer if he doesn't. Generally with a bit of firm will they get over it pretty quickly. Also, try to give him a place to squirm and turn like he wants to, put him on the floor and tickle him while he does it, so he knows there is a time and a palcefor that sort of thing.

Good luck!

Also, after reading other responses, as a foster to some of the most horrendous kids with golden hearts, please don't cave to him! As they grow they test more and more buttons, and while some battles aren't worth the fight, teaching them to obey you physically in this fashion is VERY important. Give him a special toy, sure, but don't cater to him entirely. Standing up changes leave creases in their skin and make it very difficult to get a proper clean and fit with a diaper. I guess using cloth diapers, standing changes just aren't an option for me! Does your changing station have one of those straps? I've used those with a stuffed animal (put the stuffed animal under the strap with him so it's something to focus on other then what you're doing to his bottom) with success when I've had persnickity fosters who wanted to roll over. Aain, good luck!

Hi J.,

Yep, normal behavior, but oh so aggravating for those of us who are trying to change a diaper without making a complete mess! Diaper changes really become a wrestling match. One that we always must win if hygiene is to prevail! I have no tips or tricks here. It is definitely a tough stage. The good news is, your baby is active and doesn't want to stop exploring for even a minute, so you know he's doing good!

D.
35 year old mother of 5 with one more on the way

It's no fun to deal with but it's definitely a phase! My daughter went through the same thing at 8 months. There's not much you can do about it, but if it makes you feel any better keep in mind that he'll outgrow it. We struggled with my daughter for about a month, but that was it. All of a sudden one day she was a nightmare on the changing table (I would literally sweat when I changed her!) & then about a month later it just stopped... & was I ever relieved!

Oh, this sounds very familiar. Not too long ago I wrote about the same thing. My little one is now a year and we still have an athletic time changing diapers. BUT it has gotten better. I can no longer change him on the floor. He just knows he can move anywhere. We use the table and sometimes he still does lip over. My solution is to give him anything I can within reason. A small book, a toy, a tube of unopened desitin, sometimes his diaper. Sometimes I give him his pacifier if he i really unhappy but I try to avoid that. I think for some of us, this is a part of them growing up, not wanting to be held down. If I am dressing him, I try to do as much as I can with him sitting up. Kind of like a compromise. Hang in there, it will get easier.

Definitely normal. I don't have a trick to stop it, but I do have one piece of advice.....don't give in and let him flip over or stand up or whatever he's trying to do. Keep flipping him back over, give him a special toy, or sing a fun song with him (that's what works with my son...he can't help but clap and stomp his feet and smile), whatever it takes. I have friends whose daughter always tried to flip over and pull up when being changed. They started just letting her do it and changing her while she was standing or crawling away and it was absolutely ridiculous....what a long, messy process every diaper change became. She's now 2 and still will not stay still or lay down to be changed.
It will get better if you keep flipping him back over. He'll understand eventually that he can get up quicker if he lets you change him.

This is very very common. What often works with my daughter is to whisper to her about something. Or say shhh - do you here that? Is that a bear at the window. Let's be very quiet - something like that. It forces her to stay still so her can hear. Or oten I will sing a song like patty cake or something she has to "participate" in so she'll stay on her stomach. You just need to find something that works - FYI, yelling never works! It just gets them more riled up because you're increasing the energy level.

Sounds just like my 11 month old! He has been doing it for several months now. Sometimes its worse than others... he is getting so strong. Sometimes, I give him a new "toy" that he usually doesn't play with ie. his sister's hair brush, a clean diaper etc. I try to buy enough time with the novelty. Sometimes it works, other times I just have to pin him down and do what I have to do!!

Good Luck, I feel your pain :-) I guess if this is our only issue, we havn't got it too bad!!

I think this is universal and can last quite a while. I can often buy some time by putting a cloth over his head for peek-a-boo, which sometimes keeps him from total meltdown. The faster the better is really the answer, though. Just power through!

You probably aren't going to like my response...but my daughter started this at 10 months...and at 20 months is JUST STARTING to stop...Every diaper change is such a struggle...However, all 3 of my kids went through this starting right about 10 months...

Our 3rd, Ava...she's been the worst. I change her on the floor, so I do not worry about her falling. She just has better things to do with her time than be changed! LOL

It's a stage (one of a million!) and he will eventually grow out of it. Our first lasted about a month, our second was about 6 months...It'll end and another will start!

Best wishes,
J.

I'm so glad to see this question and all the responses! My son is almost 16 months and I've been dealing with this since he was about 9 or 10 months. There are days where it's downright impossible to change him! I give him things to distract him but it's still a struggle. I guess we have to hang in there!

i was in exactly this situation, and the only thing that helped (like a miracle) was sign language. i had only used it sporadically before then, and he never really signed anything back so i had pretty much given up. basically, i would show him a sign for "change" when i decided he needed a new diaper (and a couple of times throughout), then when i was finished i would show him a sign for "all done". it took about a week for him to understand it, but i think knowing what was happening, that it would end soon, and that i would tell him when it was over helped him.... participate.
good luck!

Wow! This exact same thing is happening to me. Now that my 8 month daughter can move herself around more easily, she just refuses to lie still (or on her back at all) for a diaper change. Very frustrating. And unfortunately I don't have a solution but will try the recommendations of the other responses.

I wish I could offer you some magical advice on this one...but my (almost) 13 month old is the same way! He's been bad since about 7-8 months, and it's actually a little worse now. He's smiling and adorable before and after diaper changes.

But during? A total nightmare!

All I can say is give a sippy cup of something yummy right when you start changing, and then go go go! Fast! Pee diapers are no problem, but those poops are rough. I usually end up finishing the whole thing while he's standing up.

Fun! :) One of many battles to come in their struggle for independence!

Hi J.~
I see you have plenty of what seems like good advice so I'll keep this simple. My children did the same exact thing. I talked to them but not baby talk like so many tend to do, but like they fully understood every word I uttered. I know they didn't, but it is essential to their overall growth and the milestones they achieve. Talk to your son and explain to him what you need to do. Involve him. Let him hold the diaper before you put it on him and while you're wiping him. Natually, I kept a cloth diaper over him just in case, but he was able to "help" and I did explain, in a calm and soothing tone, the need for them to be still so I could finish. Eventually, they got over it and I think they realized I was doing what was necessary to do at the time.
Good luck to you and I hope your son's squirmyness will soon subside.
J.~

My daughter was the same way.

She did this when she was at the doctor's office around that age. He said it was a behavioral issue. Meaning, she was trying to be in control. He had one of the other doctors who is a behavioral specialist come in and confirm. I thought she had problems with her back...who new?

What I started to do is to let her know that I was not done changing her. After a few times of doing this, she laid still until I was done. I thanked her afterwards. Worked like a charm.

Good luck,
Nanc

J.,

Don't know if it will work but I always had specific toys I used for specific things. Certain toys or a book when they got older that I only let them have at diaper changes so it was new and interesting. Also I would keep a bag of toys for when we went to a restaurant, or grandmas house etc. If they only see them at certain times they will hopefully be so distracted that they might cooperate. As far as what your baby is doing perfectly normal, they just don't want to have to lay down for that long. It is just a phase, just keep flipping her over and do what ever you have to to get through it. Good luck!!

Hello there. My baby does the same thing, it's nothing harmful. I think it's just the idea of them having to lay still at this changing table when all they want to do is move around and explore. Mine keeps turning sideways and grabbing for the tube of Desitin that's at the top of her head or even for the wipes. Don't worry, just be a little forceful, let him cry, he'll obviously get over it right after you change the diper and be his sweet self again. Also, to worn you, I read it gets worse once they start crawling. Then you really need to learn to change their diaper on the move :o)

I'm so glad to hear that someone else is experiencing the same thing! (not that I'm glad you are having a tough time)

My daughter does the same thing. She flipped herself off of the changing area the other day! She screams during the night when I change her, and anytime really.

I have had some luck with trying different toys, a baby toothbrush, etc but not for long! I have to be quick about it!

Let me know if you find anything that works really well!
Good luck!

Ahhhh, this one was an easy one for me. I always had a special "toy" for him to play with only during changes. These "toys" were things he normally couldnt have. Things like cell phones, remotes, interesting kitchen gadgets. Things that intrigue and keep him busy! Now he's older, so usually a book is fine.

Have you tried playing with him on the changing table, or setting out all of the items you need to change him, but playing instead? It could just be that he doesn't like to be on his back, can you sit him up and change his clothes? Is there anything above your changing table that he might have an aversion to? What about changing him in a different room?

Just some thoughts about what might be bothering him....Thinking outside the box. GL

My 11 month old does the same thing! I try to tickle him or give him a stuffed toy and that seems to distract him for a few minutes- long enough for me to get the diaper on. I've also had to master putting on the diaper while on his belly!

mine started at around that age, too. she's now almost 17 months and still doing it. strangely, it's only with me and her father. with grandparents and babysitters, she lies there perfectly still. i have both learned to change her standing up and i'm also good at distracting. we have an alphabet thing with little puppets for every letter over the changing table and while she's screaming, i'll say, "do you want the apple?" "no" "do you want the balloon?" "no" "do you want the cat?" "no". eventually i'll get a yes and she's calmer while i change her. good luck.

just make sure it's not reflux. babies with this do not like being on their backs. does it occur only when changing him or anytime he is on his back. if it's only when changing he may just be an ctive one or fighting for control.

As so many have already written, thanks so much for writing about this. I was actually going to post this issue soon. The responses that you have received will be helpful to me, and I hope to you. I guess time is all that it takes. My daughter is now 15 months old and have been doing this for about 2 months now. Good luck.

M.