Teenager Wants to Wear Makeup!!! YIKES!!!

I think it all depends on the parent.. I let my oldest start wearing makeup when she was 13 but she could not wear mascara or eyeliner she could only wear very light colors on her eye's & then added more as she got older she is 15 now & I still refuse to let her wear the eyeliner (as personally I think it makes the girls look funny) she is allowed to wear mascara now & she tries to wear darker eye shadow but there are still some colors that are way to dark.. ther are whites/soft pinks start with those & show her how to put it on.. as for foundation or powder I think I would wait because sometimes that can cause them to have achne problems..

I wasn't allowed to wear anything until 8th grade. In 8th grade I was only allowed to wear lipstick & CLEAR mascara. My mom didn't even allow me to wear black. But I was ok w/it. I was happy just to be able to put on something. My freshman year I was allowed to wear any color of mascara. It didn't have to be clear no more. Sophmore year I was able to wear a lil more. By my junior year my allowed me to wear whatever makeup I wanted to, eye shadow, eyeliner, blush. She was fine w/it all. I didn't wear it all @ one time but it was ok to do so if I chose too.

I am actually glad that she didn't allow me to start wearing anything until 8th grade. I hope I can do the same w/my daughter when she gets to that age (she is almost 2 right now, lol).

You do have lots of great suggestions here. My suggestion is not to make a big deal in a negative way, but make it positive like many women suggested. I think it's great she asked keep the communication open by not shutting her down or out. I think you know your daughter best, and some will sneak (as mentioned in other posts) if they are restricted from doing anything because for some it does make them feel different or left out.

I really like the suggestion on taking them to a make up counter. In fact, I would go to one or a friend who sells make up and let them explain the importance of the not sharing the make-up because as a parent they think you are being overly cautious on that one and probably won't listen. But as Linda W. said if someone else explains the importance of not sharing it will mean more.

Make it an adventure and enjoy the fact that she is growing up and wanting some independence. This is all a natural progression. Explain how make-up can make you look good/natural or cheap, etc.

Anyway, I think things become issues when parents overreact. This is what my daughter told me. She often didn't want to tell me things because I'd immediately be like no you can't do that, and I don't want you hanging out with that person again. If we listen and don't judge and let our children know we trust them to make good decisions I think they do better than when we try to control. I learned that the hard way!!

I mention the above, because make-up is just the beginning you will have many questions that are much harder than this, and how you react will determine how close your relationship stays.

I wouldn't do anything behind my husbands back, but make him understand how this is a natural progression into adulthood. Maybe the three of you talk about it together. She can explain how she feels and why she wants to wear it, maybe if your husband hears her side from your daughter he will be more apt to listen.

Take care,
K.

My girls and I had this discussion early. We decided together what looks appropriate at what age and have a plan for stages of make-up use. In 7th grade we decided they could wear a little colored lip gloss and mascara. In 8th they could add some sheer eye shadow. No eyeliner until high school. We looked a many magazine pictures and also talked about how eyeliner makes you look if it's not used properly. I think the plan will help with arguments later on!

If it is tasteful and you give her specific guidelines then it should be difficult to tell she is wearing any. I would recommend taking her to the mall or a department store that gives a free demonstration so she can be taught the proper way, or you teaching her how to put it on in a more'natural' way yourself. Maybe give her a day to look forward to like her 15th birthday or something, if now is not ideal now. 14 seems like a good age to let her wear some things with limits like clear mascara, translucent powder, maybe some cover up and clear gloss to get her started.
I started wearing coverup powder and clear gloss at 12 b/c I hit puberty and broke out, and my skin was oily. The cosmetics helped keep the shine down, hid my blemishes and made me feel more confident and pretty, at a time when I didn't feel that way b/c of my skin problems, and when most of my friends were starting to wear a little make up, and some girls had been since 10 (!).
Kids at that age aren't kind- and it is a hard age to go through- a little make up that is tasteful, with guidelines and maybe a lesson in how you wish her to wear it would go a long way. Maybe you could present the idea of clear powder, mascara and gloss to your husband with the idea of teaching your daughter what is appropriate and what is not, even guys have skin issues they dislike. Maybe you could do a mini makeover on your daughter and present your handiwork to him with a commitment from her to stay within the guidelines. There were girls at my school who weren't allowed, but got to school and put it on before class anyway. Anyway, I hope it helps:):)

have you asked your husband for a compromise. Only mascara and light colored lip gloss. No eyeliner etc. Also discuss the reason behind her wanting to wear make up. Whether or not it be to get attention from boys or if it is to look like her friends etc. Have your husband talk to her and express his concerns on why he is so strict about the make up and have him ask her on some compromise. Also ask your husband to remind your daughter of how beautiful she is on a more regular basis and maybe she wont have as much as a desire to wear it. I think a little make up is fine for a teenager and there are lots of articles all over the net that will teach you some natural highlights to freshen her look without making her look grown up or over done.

I was allowed to start wearing makeup at 13. My parents figured that was a reasonable age.

My husband and I have agreed that our daughter can wear makeup when she is 13 with one stipulation though. That she go and learn skin care and makeup application that is best suited to her skin type and color. She is very fair skinned with blue eyes, traits she inherited from her grandmother.

I really think girls should learn this before they grab the eyeliner. There is one girl in my daughter's ballet class who wears heavy black eyeliner and thick black mascara. She looks like a raccoon. She is a redhead with beautiful green eyes that are hidden under all that black. It makes her eyes look small and it takes away from her true beauty.

I didn't start wearing Eyeliner until i was in 8th grade and i wore foundation in 7th, by my own choice. Most will start around 12/13. It's normal that she wants to start wearing it and the majority of the girls at her school probably have been wearing eyeliner. She may be feeling left out. Makeup wont hurt her, or make her look older. Dark makeup is a phase and trust me in the next couple of years she will go more natural with her makeup. You should at the very least let her wear cover up because all teenagers want to hide their blemishes. They all grow through it and will shortly grow out of it. I'm 17 so I've been there and done that... not to long ago.

If your daughter is asking for permission, you are blessed with a wise and wonderful daughter; perhaps you would be better to celebrate her blossoming womanhood!
Make up in and of itself is not bad. It has been used since ancient times to cover nature's errors and to enhance our natural beauty. Why not take her for to a makeup party or to you favorite cosmetic counter so she can learn how to care for her skin and how to apply make up so that it looks natural and beautiful.
She will reach the time when she will use makeup whether you want her to or not. Better to teach how to use it correctly instead of having her sneak it and use it poorly.
Mom, your daughter is growing up and it is your job to help her do it wisely.

My daughters (now 13 and 10) both were told that they had to wait until 12 (junior high for them). The 13 year old wears it occasionally, and my 10 year old hounds me about wanting to wear it. I work in the schools, so I see many 5th and 6th graders wearing it, and almost all of the girls at the Jr. High wear makeup, so I think it's great that your daughter has chosen to wait so long. I would make her buy her own, so she understands the cost, as well. Remember to emphasize that you love how she looks now, and makeup is supposed to enhance her natural beauty, so as long as she isn't wearing gobs of makeup I'd say let her go for it. (I think almost anything to help the self-esteem of a teenage girl is worthwhile. They go through so much!)

The best advice I can think to offer is to do what my aunt did for me. For my fourteenth birthday she took me to a clinique counter and had a professional teach me how to do my makeup, and then choose a beautiful color scheme that was subdued and age appropriate. It was perfect, because I understood very quickly that makeup looks best if used to enhance your own beauty, and having high quality makeup kept my skin healthy. At fourteen your daughter will still listen to advice so I would actually suggest doing this now before someone else informs her incorrectly.

Well I'm only 15 and my mom atill isnt letting mt wear make-up until I'm 16, her reason is the same as yours. In a way I disagree but I also agree because girls do look way older than they really are at my school. I only want to wear eyeliner and mascara but my mom isn't budging until I turn 16 in 3 months :) i still won't be allowed to wear powder and base but honestly I don't want to, and your skin stays clearer :)

I made my daughter wait until she started high school. I told her that she can start wearing it on her 14th birthday which was right before she would start going to the high school group at church... I hope that helps! I do limit what she wears. She can't wear mascara AND eye shadow. It can be either/OR. You could allow her to wear something.. even if it's lip gloss or eye shadow or something. But if hubby want to wait until HS, that sounds reasonable to me... =) My opinion is that eye liner AND mascara together should wait until she is older... but that's just me...

I do quite a few mother/daughter facials... my client (the mother) many times will bring me in to show the daughters how to take care of their skin and how to apply make-up naturally. Many times, the young girl will be more willing to take direction from someone rather than the mother. I've had girls as young as 12, but 14 and 15 is the average age for make-up introduction that I've seen. When I do the make-up introduction, very rarely does the mother want the daughter to use eyeliner. But I have noticed if the parents allow eyeliner, they don't want mascara... and vice versa.

At the the facial/make-up intro, I do talk about not sharing eye products (any cosmetics really) due to infection. I also talk about the importance of cleaning the face daily and the eye lash mites that live on us.

My friend and sister have girls in middle school and high school. They started letting their kids wear makeup around age 13 or in 7th grade. They were only allowed to wear mascara and lip gloss, maybe some blush. As they get older they are allowed a little more freedom and can wear more makeup and/or different colors. I think 14 is old enough to wear a little makeup. Not that today is any comparison to when I was growing up, but my mom let me and my sister wear makeup when we started middle school which was about age 11. There were no restrictions as far as I can remember. I am not saying that should be the rule for your daughter or anyone else, that is just what we were allowed to do. I pretty much haven't wore any makeup since I was in about 11th grade or so.

I dont like the eyeline and the mascara because of the infections they can cause but I see no reason why she cannot be allowed to wear some eye shadow and some lip gloss. I'm not talking about globs of it. Show her how a little bit can go a long way and look better. Better you go with her and show her than her sneaking around. She has come to you that is a good sign.

My mom let me wear full makeup when I was in 8th grade because I had horrible scarring acne and it allowed me to go to school in confidence that it was covered and wouldn't cause me to be teased. If my daughter had the same situation I did I would let her do the same. I think it depends on the circumstance and reason. You definitely need to come to an agreement with your spouse and respect his opinion as well. Maybe set some boundaries and perameters as to what is acceptable and not if you are leaning towards letting her and your spouse does not agree.

Personally, I think in parenthood we need to pick our battles. The more your husband resists your daughter's requests, the more tempting they become (ie waiting until she gets to school to put the makeup on, etc). I think a little bit, in moderation, and only to accentuate is okay. You should give her a lesson in modest makeup application. She'll be in high school in less than a year, and I, personally don't see anything wrong with a 14 year old wearing minimal makeup.

You have received many great ideas from the ladies here. I would like to add another suggestion, and that is to introduce mineral makeup. Mineral makeup doesn't include the chemicals, synthetic dyes, binders, and preservatives found in traditional makeup. It's safer and better for sensitive, even acne- or rosacea-prone skin.

There are many lines of mineral makeup. These are some of my favorites:

http://bareescentuals.com
http://www.lauress.com
http://www.monave.com
http://www.purminerals.com
http://www.aromaleigh.com

Many of them offer samples at very affordable prices, and they go a long way. Hope that helps!

I don't know what's average these days. I do remember that when I was in Jr. High in the mid/late 80's most girls wore at least eye liner and lipstick by 8th grade. Actually, most by 7th grade. I wasn't allowed to do this and it was humiliating to be thought of as a "baby" vs. a young girl who was starting to grow up. As a result, I often snuck around and wore the make up at school and washed it off before I came home.

She's 14, maybe a little eyeliner and a colored lip glass would be a reasonable compromise? This way, you can show her how to appropriately use make up rather than her doing it behind your back and end up wearing way too much. I don't believe in full make up at 14 and it seems like an OK age to start with a few basics - if nothing else so she knows that you acknowledge that she is growing up (as hard as that is to do!). Good luck to all of you!

My parents never put any limits on when I could shave my legs or wear makeup, and I started occasionally wearing mascara and lipgloss when I was 14 in Jr. High because some friends introduced it. My point is that many kids will act reasonable and respectful even without a ton of restrictions placed on them. I also never had a curfew and I was always home at a reasonable time and very responsible and never felt a need to be sneaky. My mom expected responsible behavior out of me and I had freedom as long as I kept her trust, which I did.

Back to the makeup -- whenever I saw friends putting it on at school I would borrow some, but it was still pretty rare that I wore it. When I was 15 and about to start High School my mom took me to the store and helped me pick out blush, mascara, and a light lipstick and actually encouraged me to start wearing it. I was a late bloomer and I don't know that I would have taken my own initiative to start wearing makeup until older.

In my opinion you should let her wear a little bit and teach her how to put it on so it looks natural. I started wearing makeup when I was in 7th grade only because my friend introduced me to it and I was hooked. My mom was not excited about it but it was a huge confidence boost for me. Middle School is such a hard time for girls because they are turning into young women and that can be awkward and confusing. It is a time where fitting in is the most important thing in the world. If you let her, I would still reinforce that she doesn't need it, that she is beautiful with or without makeup. Good luck, they do grow up fast!

i think its ok if she wears mascara and eyeliner its only a little bit and it doesnt really change the way she looks plus you should teach her how to put it on naturally before one of her friends teaches her n she puts toooo much on lol