Teenage Sleep Problems

Updated on April 06, 2008
S.P. asks from Stafford Springs, CT
33 answers

My 16 year old son is always tired and has a major problem getting up in the morning. He ways he doesn't fall asleep until early morning, so when it's time to get up at 6:30, he can't. He's grouchy all the time! Has anyone else had this problem?

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L.B.

answers from Boston on

Yes, this is normal in the teenage years. Both my boys started doing this as soon as puberty hit. Before that we had less problems. Studies have been done and as a result some high schools have changed their start time. I know this isn't a solution but at least you know it is normal.

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J.V.

answers from Boston on

Hi from northern New England. Yes I have also experienced the same issue with my 14 1/2 year old. His primary care doctor mentioned that a study was done re teenagers and their sleep habits. He mentioned that some school systems are rearranging the high schoolers schedule so that they can take classes in the afternoon. Try researching the internet re teenage sleep habits. My son's doctor prescribed something for him to fall asleep. It is not habit forming, this has worked for us to get my son to sleep earlier. Hope this info helps!

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S.C.

answers from Boston on

Teenagers need almost as much sleep as an infant because of the amount of body changes. The body needs to rest. But teenagers fight it. My 19 year old will still sleep late, but if he has to work early he doesn't even need a clock.

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M.A.

answers from New London on

I too have a 16 year old son and know that they love to sleep. We have it a policy in our house that all electronics tv/computer/ipods/cell and telephones etc are off at 10:00 on school nights. They can read in bed but not with the music blaring, they tend to fall asleep with in 15-20 minutes. On weekends we are more lenient with tv and such. Also I refuse to be the bad guy about getting the kids up in the morning. I have 4 teenagers and they all need to set their alarm as it is their responsibility to get up. If they miss the school bus, then they pay me gas money to drive them to school. I've only had to do that once. I tell them I am helping them to get along in the adult world. Hope this helps.

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B.D.

answers from Barnstable on

Hi S.!!!!
My sons have a hard time sleeping, too. A doctor recommended Melatonex (it's an over-the-counter non-narcotic sleep aid). It's primarily melatonin. Have your son take 1/2 pill about 1/2 to 1 hr. before he wants to go to sleep. So, if he's shooting for 9:30 or 10, he should take the pill around 9.
If he feels groggy in the morning, cut the pill down to 1/4.
GOOD LUCK!!
B.

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E.M.

answers from Boston on

Hi S.,
We had the same problem with our son. It was so bad his teachers in his first classes said they hadn't seen anyone so tired in the morning and it was affecting his grades as well. We brought him to the sleep clinic in Concord to have them check him out overnight and see what the problem was. It is called, "Phase Delay Insomnia".As it turned out it is a common problem that parents don't know about. At around this age, their "internal clock", much like a baby, gets reversed. They stay up late and can't wake up in the morning. They get their days and nights mixed up. So, there is a special lamp we had to buy, and every morning starting for about 45 minutes, our son had to sit in front of this lap. Even if he was half asleep, it didn't matter. We did this for about 4 weeks. He started to be more alert in the morning, and he was reading in fron t of the lamp after that. AFter that he cut back to 30 minutes and again for about 4 weeks. He had to also start getting into bed by 11:00 PM, even if he was awake, and start to unwind. We also were only allowed to let him sleep late (12 pm) on Saturdays, but had to wake him by 9-10 am on Sundays so he would be able to sleep at night.This probably went on for 4 months and he has been fine for 1 year now. His grades have improved (back to B's) and his teachers have commented on the difference.The "special" light on the lamp does something to your brain pattern and helps to reverse the wake-sleep pattern back to normal. But, be careful. If you have a normal sleep pattern and are near this light it can do the reverse and ruin your sleep pattern. I can't explain it, but found some research on the web that validated what the doctor at the clinic told us. The lamp goes for about $100.
Let me know if you have any other questions. I was totally surprised that I had never heard of this before. The doctor said this is why alot of freshman college kids have so much trouble their first year in college. It isn't widely known that it starts at around age 16 or 17. Most parents, like me think it is from staying up too late, computers, or games, etc. We even started to think it was depression. We were way off base. Thanks goodness.
Good luck, feel free to let me know if you have any other questions.

E. M.

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C.T.

answers from Bangor on

I had the same problem with myself. I've been diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Mono... Fibromyalgia - all things that that have sleep problems!

I now use a natural supplement, sold at all drug stores - called Melatonin. It's something the body produces naturally when it becomes dark out. I use an extra 3 mg daily - about an hour before bedtime. When it comes time for bed, I'm *OUT*.

The doctor said it was safe enough to use throughout pregnancy (hubby and I are currently trying again). They make 1 mg, and 3mg. (I use 3 mg)

People who are blind also use this -- because they can't see the darkness, their brain doesn't release this melatonin correctly...

Also limit his caffeine - no soda, ice tea... etc. after dinner - if thats an issue. Good luck.

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X.D.

answers from Boston on

Is this a new problem (like within the last year?). How is he doing in school? My daughter (15) is wicked grumpy in the a.m., too. This is soooo hard at this age, but I think you have to pry a little.... Is he up late texting or watching t.v.? Does he drink too much soda with caffeine? Last, but not least, do you suspect drug use? Don't be ignorant - good kids get involved in bad situations simply by making one error of judgement. I would be grouchy, too, if I couldn't sleep all night! The problem won't get better if you don't take some major steps in the right direction now. My heart goes out to you!

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C.T.

answers from Barnstable on

I had that problem when I was growing up... and still do. While I don't know how to solve it, I can tell you what made it worse for me. When my parents would get angry at me or threaten to take me to a doctor (and the doctor thing was said as a threat to "scare" me into going to sleep) or command me to go to sleep, all it did was to stress me out and make it harder to sleep. The pressure to sleep can be rough, especially when you know you have to get up soon and somehow function throughout the day. Even now I have difficulty sleeping. What I find makes it easier is to put my TV headphones on and watch some mindless show until I start to drift off. I know all the advice out there says to keep the TV out of the bedroom, but there are some nights that the silence is so big. I know I can't sleep and without the TV all I think about is that I can't sleep. Another thing that helps me is to do crossword puzzles in the dark with a little book light. For some reason I get drowsy doing that. Reading a book is the worse thing for me because I get so wrapped up on the story.

My son, now age 20, has often had difficuty sleeping. When he told me that he couldn't sleep I would usually tell him that it was okay not to sleep and to just rest. He would usually fall alseep.

My last bit of advice is, and this may sound kind of weird, but I daydream that I am asleep, but that there are people around me who notice that I'm sleeping. For some reason that really helps. (I told you it would sound weird.)

Good luck.

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L.P.

answers from Boston on

Actually, recent studies have discovered that the internal clocks of teenages change, making them more wakeful at night. Naturally this means that they're more tired early in the morning, too. Ideally, teenagers would be most productive with a different sleep structure than the rest of us, with days that stared later and ended later. Unfortuantely, the world isn't structured that way, so most teenagers are going through just what your son is: awake late at night and tired all morning. http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/shows/teenbrain/f...

Honestly, I remember the same thing when I was a kid! I was never tired at night--I couldn't fall asleep before 1 or 2 in the morning and was DRAGGING all mornig at school as a result. Now I can't imagine staying up that late! ;-)

I'd say that your son is normal. I know that's not helpful, but it's true!

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G.B.

answers from Boston on

Just some ideas for your son to try...If your son doesn't have a regular bedtime routine, he should begin one. He should try go to bed and get up at the same time each day. He should begin his routine from dinner to bedtime or even when he gets home from school; for example, arrive home, snack, exercise or homework or chores, dinner, homework, tv, shower, quiet time, bed. He should be very consistent. Taking that quiet time to draw or listen to a relaxation CD or music is important to wind down. Some relaxation techniques such as systematically tensing his muscles one by one from head to toes then relaxing them one by one or slowly taking deep breaths and thinking about the breaths while breathing may help. If he has continuous thoughts that keep him awake, a journal beside his bed to write those thoughts in may help get them off his mind before he tries to sleep.

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H.D.

answers from Barnstable on

It's very common for teenagers since they are growing at a rate similar to when they were infants. Think about how much sleep he needed when he was an infant. The amount of time it lasts varies for each child. I had a bedtime throughout high school because of this. By the time I was 19 I was "normal" again.

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L.G.

answers from New London on

Hi S.!
I have a 17 year old daughter who had this issue also...I'm not saying her situation was the same as your son's, however here are a few things to look for. (Just for the record...I never thought she would do half of these things, she just didnt seem the type....Good student,cheerleader,nice friends with good families,likes family time,very close and talks to me.)
She got text messages and calls all night long from friends on her cell phone. I ended up taking it from her at night and giving it back in the morning.
She would be on the computer at all hours too. We unhooked the cable and took it at night.
She climbed out her window and took a taxi from down the road to her boyfriends house in the middle of the night and returned in the morning before I got up. Her boyfriend climbed in her window too in the middle of the night.(Did I mention I am a Grandmother now?)
Drinking and Drugs were not an issue for us, but I have friends who had these issues without parents knowing it. Hopefully not!
We even did some counseling in case she had some issues that she couldnt tell me that kept her up worrying at night.

Teenagers are such a hard issue...I have a friend who always says that at a certain age Aliens come and take our nice little boys and girls away and leave us with crappy ones for a few years! My thoughts are with you, Hang in there and Good luck!
L.

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E.D.

answers from Portland on

My daughter had the same problem. It turns out she was clinically depressed; that's what caused her to have trouble falling asleep at the right time. She is now on medication and is OK. Also, we found out that the school has a special program for kids with physical problems like this. She was excused from tardiness and absentia through this program. Last spring when she was also having this problem, we did not know about this program, so she lost credit for all the school she did attend, and had to repeat the same classes this fall in order to get credit.

E. in NH

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G.D.

answers from New London on

I had the same problem and it has traveled into my adult life. After doing some research it showed that it may be caused by my ADD which I have never taken medication for. A lot of this so called ADHD "over loaded" of diagnoses is due to toxic exposure. Things like fertilizers, pesticides, chemicals in all the foods we eat which the FDA approves for our consumption. Not to mention our cleaners. I have read that going organic has brought the #s down considerably with DR's who try it out on patients. I still use benedryl or tylenol pm to sleep almost every night. There is also melatonin if you want to try a natural product. Honestly my mind raises and over thinks every possible thing that comes to my head. I can't sleep in cars because things are happening around me. Even in s dull lit room my mind raises with things to pick up or just staring at whatever I see. Sometimes with teenagers it is just plain hormones. I barely knew my right from left when it came to realisticly which is why that age group is apt to try experimenting with cigarettes, drugs, alcohol and sex you name it. Fortunately for me I liked having control of my body. My parents never talked to me about those things so keeping an open relationship is really important. Sometimes at that age I was just on the phone all night with a boyfriend which is totally pathetic to me now but then was pretty important.
Those years I would never want to relive but it would have been so much better if my Mom was more open with me.

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B.T.

answers from Boston on

S. my daughter has the same propplem then your son . you must take him to the doctors, to help find out whats wrong . i took my daughter2 weeks ago. its the proplems he has in the day time and he cant cope with it . he thinks about it at night time when hee is going to bed. he might not tell you whats going on in his mind. so i took my daughter to they mccp. and sure enought she now hasa counseler and saw the doctor. you must take him . its a real propplem S. ty
B. mello

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C.R.

answers from Boston on

Hi S.,
You've gotten a lot of different advice, but you know your son better than anyone else. If he seems healthy and is enjoying his life, just on a different schedule, then I'd suggest finding ways for him to sleep later in the day. It is part of the normal teenage brain body rewiring. As adults our natural rhythm slows down around ten or eleven and we can wake around 6 or 7. We are not growing anymore and only need 6-9 hours of sleep each night. For children, who need 12 hours of sleep because of all the growing they're doing, 7 - 7 or something close to that works just fine. The thing with teenagers is that they've started to transition to an adult slow-down later in the evening, but they are still growing and need that 10 - 12 hours of sleep each night. This puts them on a schedule that is at least 4 hours off from the rest of the world. There some towns (I remember one in Minnesota about 10 years ago) that changed the bus and school schedules, so that little kids went to school first, early in the morning, and the high school opened last around 9:30. They noticed that the grades improved because the kids were actually awake for their first two classes.
If, aside from being a cranky teenager, he has symptoms of depression or mono (the symtoms of those are extremely similar) then by all means see a doctor and get help.
There's a great program by the BBC, called Teen Species. They did one on girls and one on boys. If you can find it, I highly recommend taking a look.
Good luck!
Caroliner

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L.N.

answers from Springfield on

That is a hard one because I know how hard it is to make your teen go to sleep at night. I have a 14 year old daughter who is similar. I make her take her shower between 8-9 and then she has to go to her room and get to bed by 10. Usually it takes her a while to fall asleep and she is tired in the morning. What was making it the hardest was on the weekend she was sleeping till 10 or 11 in the am and then she would stay up late. My husband and I now make her get up by 8 or 9 and she is not allowed to sleep late on the weekend and this has helped. I guess the biggest question I have is what is he doing at night to stimulate himself that he can't fall asleep? If he is on the computer or playing video games than maybe you should make him stop these much earlier in the evening and have some down time before bed. Good luck!

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A.M.

answers from Boston on

I have this problem with my 16 year old as well. He goes to bed by 10:30 and doesn't fall asleep until 11 or 11:30 and has to get up by 6. He takes an herbal supplement that can be found in most drug stores and Vitamin Stores that his pediatrician recommended, Melatonin. It seems to work most of the times and allows him to fall asleep within 1/2 hour. It should be taken about 1/2 before bed. GOOD LUCK.

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D.F.

answers from Boston on

This happened to my son at 16. My son has a sleeping disorder, at first I didnt know what was going on because he would stay up all night long, then could not get up for school. This also happened around the time clock changes, really messes him up. A few things that we have tried worked. Make sure his curtains are dark and dont let any light in. No soda, no energy drinks, no ice tea, nothing with caffeine in it, limit sugar. Take walks, make sure he is some sort of sport, karate is a good one for a child that is not active. I would also take him to the Doctor, mine recommended a sleep aid, called Melatonin, its actually supplement that brings on a natural sleep. Also, TV in the bedroom was removed and replaced with reading materials. I was told the bedroom is for sleeping and I had to agree, my son had video games going and his computer on and we took everything out. But I do strongly recommend a Doctor first. And expect him not to want to do all that you want him to. Some times it takes time for them to realize you are helping him, I know my son did fight me on the TV, I won. What I did find out that his sleeping pattern is reversed, it may take a while to reverse that. Make sure to keep him active during the day, getting sun is important to him also. I am not saying lay in the sun, but getting outside and walking, running, roller blading,and no naps! so good luck, I hope I have givin you some hints. We did try the "light" but he has to have complete darkness. donna

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N.A.

answers from Boston on

I don't have this problem with a teenager, but I do have it with my 7 year old. Her psychiatrist told me to give her Benadryl at night. It's just enough to make her drowsy and help her fall off to sleep, and her pediatrician has backed-up the psychiatrists claim that it's perfectly safe and not addictive.

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R.M.

answers from Boston on

When my teenage son complained of always being tired or exhausted, we finally took him to the doctor, who did a simple blood test and diagnosed mononeucliosis (sp?).
Take him to a doctor right away; mono can be serious if left untreated and if your son plays contact sports he could be badly injured if tackled or hit as in football.
Let us know how you make out, please.

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A.C.

answers from Boston on

Hi S. -

Why doesn't he fall asleep until early morning? Does he have trouble getting to sleep? Or is he just staying up late playing video games? If he truly has a sleeping problem and has trouble going to sleep. He can try a few things. First does he do enough exercise during the day, jogging a couple miles, go to the gym etc? Second, what does he eat? Is he drinking caffeine and eating sugar all day long?

If he can't go to sleep due to anxiety/stress - working out and modifying his sugar intake might help some, but if it doesn't solve his problem - he may want to check with his doctor. Kids his age need at least 8 hours of sleep/night to function properly in school and in general.

Figure out the source of the problem and then tackle it.

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L.B.

answers from Barnstable on

Its not a sleep problem..... its a computer/online problem. He's online all night. Unplug it at 10pm. That's it plain and simple. Time to be tough on your part. Have you checked out his 'history' log??
Good luck
L.

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V.A.

answers from New London on

I had the same problem as a teen and it is very normal. I 'm not sure where i read or seen it, but teens start to have this period of sleeping more due to their bodies going through hormonal changes or growth spurts. My parents thought we were lazy always sleeping in and tired, but it is a part of growing up.

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H.E.

answers from Boston on

Unless he has a known medical issue. This is the problem in this world. When people are different – there’s something wrong.I was this way growing up. It’s called being a night person- night owl. It’s getting better. Now people can work any time day or night. I have worked nights 9:00p.m. to 9:00a.m. most of my adult life. I have adult children. And am very successful. Kids like you’re son (and I at that age) can excel better if school hours changed. If we can get our kind of sleep our body’s need -we can do better in life. But we are forced to adjust to meet others needs. When your son gets older and makes his own choices he will be fine. He can work around his body’s needs. If you look into it these two types of people they are very different. In attitude and personality.
When I needed to change my hour I would take a Benadryl to make me sleep. So I can focus in the morning. I would ask his doctor if it’s OK for your son.

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N.O.

answers from Springfield on

When I was a teenager I had the same problem. I would stay up late and complain and try to get my mom to let me stay home or go to school late.
If he is going to bed past midnight, he is not getting sufficient sleep. Teenagers need even more sleep than adults do because they are growing and hormones. So he should be getting about 8-10 hours a night. If he got 8 hours of good sleep a night he would wake up more refreshed and possibly less grouchy.
I am a night owl by naturn and am NOT a morning person. What has helped me is gettting into a routine. I go to sleep at 11-12 and get up at 7:30. If I keep that schedule I am able to get up when the alarm goes off(sometimes I hit snooze once if I am really tired)
I suggest talking to your son and telling him that he should take his sleep more seriously. It really does effect every part of your life. Also, dont allow him to sleep later or stay home because he is tired. I had a hard time getting on a schedule when I was out of school becuase my mom let me stay home sometimes or go in late. It made me used to just sleeping in and not having to get up for my responsibilities. When your son gets a job and moves out he cant just call work and say "I stayed up late and cant come in until I get more sleep"
To help him get into a good routine set up some ground rules. No computer,phone calls or text past 10 or 11. Encourage reading(because it makes you tired)and talk to him about how stimulating tv can be and to shut it off or at least lay in bed while watching it. He is 16 so he has to make his own choices about night time activities. Also, cut off soda and caffein past 8pm. In my house I have caffeine free diet soda so that if I crave soda at night I wont be up because of the caffeine.
Also, tell him he would feel 100% better if he ate something for breakfast. I cant tell you how much better I felt once I starting eating breakfast every morning.

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M.V.

answers from Boston on

S. you are not on your own. My daughter as the same problem with her 16 year old son. She as to stand in his room until he gets out of bed. One time she threw a cup of water on him as he would not get up and it was making her late for work as she won't leave the house till he does as he would go back to bed

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L.S.

answers from New London on

What does he do after school and in the evening? Does he sit in his room all day, do you know what he is up to? Just let him know that sleep is important and that you care about him. And also, let him know that lack of sleep is detrimental to the brain (grades and sports) and to growth it also leads to poor eating. Try having him cut out the soda and caffeine immediately after school. See if that works. If I drink a coke after 3:00 I have a horrible time trying to fall asleep. Also, do not let him watch TV or text or use the computer after 10:00. or 11:00 at the latest. When I was a teen I would stay up until 11:00 or later watching leno and wake up at 7am. We didn't have txting back then or home computers. Now kids have a lot of stimulus. I would also take a two hour nap after school. Teens need a lot of sleep at least 9 good hours of sleep or more since they are growing so much. He may need to take a nap after school. Keep the same schedule on weekends if you can, but as a teen I'm sure he is out on weekends, so let him sleep in on the weekends just a little or take a nap during the day. Also, make sure he is eating well. Great nutrition will help. good luck.

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G.R.

answers from Boston on

hi S.
my son did the same thing for almost a year. He would be up all night & then exhausted all day. we took him for a sleep disorder test & it wasn't any thing physical. They told us to have him stay up for a whole night & a whole day no napping!!! which is something he did after school due to his exhaustion. this allowed him to get his system back on a regular schedule so that he could get to sleep at a resonable hour. Once they get into a routine of being up all night they can't make them selves go to sleep at say 12:00. so they need to force themselves to be so tired that they will fall asleep
at night and therefore get up in the am. If he is willing, try it for 1 or 2 days during a vacation week. Hope this helps Good Luck

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G.V.

answers from New London on

My son is 17 and has a problem getting up in the morning. I do too, and I'm 49! I think it is one's personality. But he IS getting better at it as he gets older. But maybe your son can't get up because he is playing video games, reading, on the computer, doing homework late, etc., but doesn't want to tell you. My son pulled that. One thing that will help your son fall asleep: Let him get a part-time job. Since my son is working part time, he goes to bed on his own now. STILL he goes at like 11:00 PM or midnight (gets up at about 7:00 AM), but he is learning to go to sleep when he is tired. This is also because on weekends when he was around 16, I had let him stay up all night a couple of times. He thought he was great, "pulling an all-nighter." So now that he's 17, he is over that, and it's not something that seems appealing because he's done it already, so it's not some forbidden thing, and he is now learning, as I said, to be responsible and go to sleep and fall asleep at a normal hour. And I agree with some of the other mothers - don't yell. I tried that too and it doesn't work very much. Good luck.

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S.G.

answers from Boston on

S.,
I am S. too. I have a 17 yr. old son that had the similar problems falling asleep. I took him to a Naturopathic doctor and part of his advise was not to eat too late at night or watch T.V. late. He also gave him a natural/safe substance (Travacor)to take 1/2 to 1 hr. before bed on an "empty stomach" that helped him to be tired and fall asleep. He slept better.
It's good to eat well too. For kids: Include in all 3 meals: Protein, "good" fats and fiber. No white bread, sodas, etc. I don't even buy them.
Good Luck!
S.

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J.A.

answers from Providence on

He could have an underlying medical condition. Insomnia or depression. I would start with seeing the doctor first.
Good Luck

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