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Teenage Daughter Who Can Not Sleep at Night or Get up in the Morning!

i have a great 15 year old daughter. When she was young we hardly ever had to correct he for anything. As a baby she was sleeping all night at 3 months old. We used to have to wake her up in the morning; even on Christmas. I now cannot get her to go to bed or to wake up on time in the morning. We argue every morning. She does not even wanting me to talk to her in the morning. When she comes home after school it is like another kid came in the house.She is so nice ,It is like morning never happened. How do you start correcting them when they are older? I almost wish she was more of a problem when she was younger.I also have always done all the work around the house; trying to be the good wife and mother and now I am stuck with everything.(MY HUSBAND IS SPOILED BY ME DOING EVERYTHING TOO!!!!I just started a new business venture and I am going to be busier than ever Iam ready to run away!!!!!!! Debbie N.

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HELLO TO EVERYONE! I am so amazed at the response I recieved from everyone. I thank you for every idea you have presented to me.A lot of the things all of you have told me to try;I am definitely going to apply in her case. She is a wondeful girl and so loved by everyone who meets her. We do talk a lot, and she is very young for being a sophomore. She started kindergarden just 2 weeks after turning 5. We never sent her to pre-school so she never was involved with children other than her cousins.When she had been in school 6 weeks her teacher said she was handling all-day kindergarden just fine.She even got a citizenship award that year. I HAVE BEEN TALKING TO MY HUSBAND ABOUT HER SETTING HER OWN ALARM CLOCK; but she does not hear anything in the morning.I start out calling good morning and touching her arm to wake her up; and the next thing I KNOW AFTER 25 MIN. OF BEING NICE I am desperate to get her out of bed. I am going to take all of the advice all of you have given me.THANK YOU THANKYOU AGAIN FOR BEING SUCH CARING PEOPLE. I only joined Mamasource on Thursday and Iam thrilled that I did . I am going to refer everyone I know to this site. God Bless All Of You.

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well i have some what the same problem my son is now 18 but from about 15.5 to now he doesnt want to go to bed early and is some what a bear in the morning some of it could be caffiene and teenage years.If it contiues i would seek medical advise but i would not allow them to give her any meds to help her go to sleep. Also be aware of the new thing of taking cold and cough meds.....

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Hi. I have a 5 yr old daughter with major sleep issues. After TONS of things both natural and prescription, we have had the best luck with an all natural substance that is inexpensive to get. Best of all non narcotic so it doesn't cause addiction and NO SIDE EFFECTS at all. It is called Melatonin. I would encourage her to take them around 30-45 minutes before you would like her to be asleep. It helps your body regulate naturally the circadium (sp?) rythems. I hope she will try it and it helps her. It has helped everyone in our house !


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I didn't read all of your responses, but I wanted to tell you about a miracle pill.

Its a naturally occuring chemical released by your brain, called Melatonin, and its non adictive, but it knocks me out, in a nice way!

when I am not tired, but I know I have to get up in the morning, I take one 3 mg dose and it makes me tired enough to go to sleep, your daughter needs to try it, they sell it a CVS, and even wal-mart, I think, its in the supliment isle, try it, she won't need it for ever, but try it for a few days, and get her schedule adjusted, and then make her get some excersize during the day, and I bet she'll be tired by evening!

just so you know I'm not usually the type of person to give medication to get someone to sleep, but since this is a natural substance, and non habitforming, I really think it would work out well for your daughter.

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It is a medical fact that teens need extra sleep and have difficulty falling asleep at night. Their brains are low on seratonin (the chemical that makes you feel good, which is why they struggle with depression also), and seratonin actually turns into melatonin at night (which is the chemical that helps you fall asleep).
That isn't really a "solution" but maybe if you are aware of that you'll realize it isn't that your daughter is being "bad" or anything! You definitely have to get her up for school, I know, but understand that it is truly difficult for her (physically).
Well I don't know if I'm answering your real question (it sounds like you have a different issue with doing everything around the house). As far as correcting them when they're older, that's going to be hard but it can be done. First you have to make sure your relationship is still getting attention from you, you are "in her world" so to speak, knowing what she likes etc. Then, you have more room to say things because she knows you care. I would tell her what you are going through, to an extent, not in detail, just that you know you'd done everything for the family in the past but you realized that it is not healthy for anyone that you did that. So you need to start giving everyone else some responsibilities. She won't like it, understandably! So you'll have to be sure your heart is in the right place and can stand by it without getting angry.
Hope that helps?

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At that age, her internal clock is actually backwards than what school requires it to be. Teenagers are more prone to staying up later and getting up later because that's how their internal clocks run. I remember my mom and brother fighting every single morning over waking up, it was much worse during the school year than in the summer because he got to sleep longer in the summer. It will take her longer to adjust to the school year schedule than it has in the past. As for the punishing, I'm not sure what to tell you. Each person is different as to what will work and what will not. I've seen so many things fail and yet the same things work with growing up in a house of 4, and hearing what my grandmother and aunts have done in their house.

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When I was 15, I was the same way. I couldn't fall asleep and would end up with 2 or 3 hours by the time I had to wake up. Here are some suggestions that may help:

1. No caffine. To this day I cut myself off of the caffine at 5 pm. If I don't, I know I'll be tossing and turning.

2. Comfort level. I ended up sleeping at my parents house for a night this year, and I laid in bed for hours because the bed that I had growing up was that uncomfortable. I had complained about it in my youth, but my parents wrote it off as me being a teenager complaining or something. So make sure that her bed and environment are exactly what she needs for a good night's sleep.

3. Thinking too much. Give your daughter some time to unwind... read for a bit, write in a journal, talk to you about any anxieties for the next day. It's good to have a little quiet time for your mind to switch from busy day mode to quiet sleep mode as well as get out any nagging thoughts that may make you toss and turn.

4. Distractions. Even if you're not aware of it, noise from the tv and music may be seeping into your daughter's room at night. Or there might be a bright street lamp shining into her window. There are little things that can distract you from a good night's sleep that go unnoticed because it's always there.

I hope these help!

1 mom found this helpful

well i have some what the same problem my son is now 18 but from about 15.5 to now he doesnt want to go to bed early and is some what a bear in the morning some of it could be caffiene and teenage years.If it contiues i would seek medical advise but i would not allow them to give her any meds to help her go to sleep. Also be aware of the new thing of taking cold and cough meds.....

1 mom found this helpful

I know this might sound odd but have you thought of it might be a medical problem. Some things I know that have keep me up at night is restless leg syndrome, where your legs feels like something is crawling on them or others syptoms. I am older know and going to do a sleep study to see if if i have sleep apnea or something else. Now i have to take sleeping pills every night to get to sleep. I think mine started when i was younger with the leg thing. The sleep doctor i went to said that it is common for people to have problem sleeping if they have or had restless leg syndrome. This is just a suggestion that it may be something medical or at least something to check out. If she snores at night also that can be a problem. If she is not sleeping at night that is probably why she is cranky in the morning with you and fine later in the day.


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Well, it sounds like she may be picking on things going on at home. It sounds like you are making some big changes, or want to make some big changes, and I am sure she is realizing this. I too suffered from insomnia, and still do at times. It can actually be a form of depression, which is extremely common for a teen. Have you tried sitting down with her and having a heart to heart(not in the morning, in the afternoon when she is in a good mood) Maybe she is feeling anxious and scared. The only way to truly find out is to ask her point blank. She may also not even remember acting out in the morning. Sounds crazy, but I had a friend who would literally have a conversation with me in the morning, yet wouldn't remember it later in the day because she was still somewhat asleep. Also, what is she doing while she is up at night? If she is on the computer, or the phone, or watching tv, resrict those uses, with no questions asked. Just take the items away. Also, start letting her be accountable now. Get her an alarm clock and if she fails to wake up for school, let her deal with the consequences.

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I'm twenty-seven, and my daughter's not even two years old yet, but I remember vividly struggling with sleep my whole life. If your daughter is fifteen, sleeping problems (and the subsequent waking problems) could be brought about by stress at school or in her social life. As close as you may be, for girls that age, as I'm sure you'll also remember, its often difficult or embarrassing to articulate fears or concerns with your parents. I remember from always being a "good kid" and no problem to my parents, that in many ways I internalized a lot of normal teenage anxieties, not expressing them as easily as my more trying brother (who slept like a baby, by the way). Perhaps she's let some unsaid worry from the school day upset her sleep routine. She may just need to develop a new routine which incorporates some kind of daily "stress detox" to each evening, so she can let go and relax enough to get to sleep. Maybe a deep breathing exercise or a yoga dvd would do the trick, I'm sure you'd know what suits her style. Its quite probable the morning wrath is just a nasty though unwanted symptom of her insomnia rather than lack of discipline, and though everyone needs to learn to control the morning demons... eh, until she's getting a good night's sleep, you're fighting an uphill battle. In my humble opinion, as a former fifteen year old insomniac, a gentle word in the evening might make all the difference in the morning.

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Now that your daughter is one of those "teenagers" you are going to have to start treating her like she treats you.

When she wakes up in the morning, say hi and then leave her alone. If she starts with her crankiness, tell her that you don't want to hear it. That you are trying to enjoy your morning (or something like that). Stand firm on what you just said, and make her realize that you too can be cranky and that you will talk to her when she treats you with the respect that, as her mother, you deserve.

The time of sitting and correcting your daughter (like when she was younger) no longer exists. As far as the husband, let him know that the time of you doing everything has got to be shared because you are starting in the business world too.

Oh, please do not medicate her for this. My stepchildrens mother, that's how she took care of everything with my stepchildren. Now she has a 27 year old with 5 children who has been divorced twice and a son who can't keep a job, living above mom with his cheating wife and a baby girl that is stuck in the middle. Medicating (in my opinion) is the parents way of letting something else take care of the problem. It doesn't work!

Just thought I'd try and help! Good Luck!

1 mom found this helpful

I think this may be typical for the age. Teenagers are moody, and they need a lot of sleep! Of course, you know your child best, so if you think this is a medical issue, you may want to consult her doctor for peace of mind.

I read something about this somewhere that said the best way to deal with this problem is to make them responsible for their own schedule. I would have her set her alarm clock and be responsible for getting herself up and ready on time in the morning. If she sleeps through her alarm or arrives to school late, she will be responsible for writing a letter to the principal to explain what happened. The motivation here is the fear of embarassment. This takes you out of the mix as far as arguing every morning, which is not making things better. I don't have teenagers, so I know this is easier said than done, but I remembered this article when I saw your request. Good luck!

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My daughter-in-law is a high school teacher and we were just talking about how teenage girls now think the f word is FAT. Actually, her daughter is only six and is already aware of the new f word. Anyway, some high school girls take over the counter diet aids which depending on the time of day they are used could cause a person to not be able to sleep, therefore its hard to get up in the morning. It could also account for the morning irritation. I'm not saying this is what is going on, but teenagers tend to be secretive and share some things only with their friends. It's almost as tho they think they have outgrown their Mom. I hope everything works out for you. Maybe she is just stressed over something.

Sounds like she could also be having a bout of depression. It is normal. Especially if there is alot going on. Could be school, change in routine anything. I know you never want to think about your child being depressed but those are very clear signs of depression. I would maybe talk to her pediatrician or doctor and see their input. My 15yr sister who went through the same things. She was put on a mild antidepressant and has been better ever since. She now has no trouble sleeping and gets up easy and on her own. If you go the antidepressant route just watch for other signs or any type of changes, not all work the same for everyone. My sister is on zoloft. Good luck with everything.

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