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Teenage Daughter Does Not Want to Go to School

I need some advice on getting my daughter to go to school. She is in the 10th grade and just does not want to go to school. She says that she just can't stand sitting in class -- just can stand being in school. I want to be supportive of my daughter and guide her in the right direction. I have explained to her that she needs to complete her education in order do go anywhere in this world. I don't want her to end up like me and take half my life to find a decent job. She insists that she be home schooled but I just don't know about that. Can anyone help with advice or other educational alternatives so that my daughter can sucessfully complete high school. Help!! I feel like such a failure.

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So What Happened?™

Many, many thanks for all of the great advice and support. My daughter orginially decided to go toan afterschool program to complete her 10th grade year. After thinking things through, she has decided to continue to attend daily classes at school. I suppose, i can only hopre, that something this I said made her change her mind.

I send a fond ALOHA to the creater of this website -- it has been a great help with all the advice and support. Thank you to all the Moms in my situation that responded to my plea for help. Aloha, R.

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Maybe there is more going on at school making her not want to go then just not wanting to sit in class? Maybe suggest sending her to a different highschool?

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Hi R.. You daughter is bored and I don't blame her for not wanting to go to school. And just so you know, more millionaires and successful people didn't go to school than did and that includes finishing high school. You see, the problem is that our teachers are taught to teach poorly. I teach financial literacy programs called Camp Millionaire in Santa Barbara and we do all girls camps. We use what are called Accelerated Learning techniques which means we teach to all three learning styles: visual, auditory and kinesthetic (movement/emotion). Human beings are rarely auditory learners and yet that's how most teachers have been taught to teach. It's no wonder our kids are bored and restless and that's not even talking about the fact that we try and teach them things that aren't relevant to them.

Here's my suggestion: ask her what she'd like to do instead. Get a part time job? Go to city college and learn something she's interested in? Take a few seminars? Read some great success books? And if you'd like to talk in person, please call me. E. ###-###-####. I know you want her to go back but there's something better in store for her. I promise. She is one of the brighter ones who knows it's not the right place for her. Be proud of her. You seem to have raised a young woman who knows herself. Continue to empower that even if it goes against the 'normal' flow. Normal isn't best I find most often. Thanks for listening. E.

1 mom found this helpful

It really sounds like your daughter is having troubles with her peers.. If she is that insistant on not going to school give her the option of getting her GED. I know that seems like she is giving up on her social skills or life experiences but at least if she does get her GED she will be able to say she has a HS diploma of sorts and can start finding her path in the employment field.
My thoughts are if you continue to push her she will just revolt and get involved with the wrong crowd and inevitably not get any sort of education.

1 mom found this helpful

I homeschool and my daughter loves it. I would check into charter schools. Ask your daughter what she does not like about her school There may be someone or something bothering her. I worked as an aide for years and schools are just not giving kids the motivation they need. We go to Mountain Oaks in San Andreas and they are a wonderful school. We only go one day a week then rest is at home or anywhere we want to do work.

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Hi R.,

I have a teenage daughter (currently age 16) who had the same responses as you described, with an added bonus of "they are just babysitters... they never answer my questions, always talk about their personal life, etc..." In short, it was a waste of her time. My daughter was not looking to quite school, but was ultimately "DONE" with the drama of public school.

I have to admit that I was a little nervous about taking her out of high school and putting her into home school. After all, I was working full-time and couldn't be their to know what she was doing all day! But, she is a good kid, most always had good grades, and wanted to give it a try...

I gave in! For one semester only, and then I would judge what was best for her... If she slacked, got into "trouble", didn't take care of her responsibilities.... she went right back to public shooling... her decision, her future.

That was in 10th grade... she is now a junior (I've had her in home school for 1 1/2 years). She will be graduating 1 year early, decided on her own that she wanted to be a medical assistant and joined R.O.P. in which she has "free" classes and begins her internship in Feb., She also has taken up a part time job at the Arden Fair Mall working in Dos Coyotes as a waitress, and is just growing up!

That's not to say that she always does what she's supposed to do.. I keep in contact with her teacher (that meets with her every two weeks to go over assignments and any questions) and am aware of when she "slacks"... I also remember that whether in public, private, or home school... there will be times where your child is not very responsible.

Home Schooling has worked for me, and there are several programs out there depending on how much time you have to devote to "school".

Of course, like the other moms said, it is important to find out why she doesn't want to go "specifically" and go from there.

Write me if you have any questions or just want to talk...

Good Luck!

1 mom found this helpful

I'm 26 well, almost 27... give me a week or so! lol...

anyhow.. I'd say keep her home.. I love what the poster before me stated.. she seems to have it right in my opinion!
I too hated school. I wanted to be in a private school so bad.. Public school just wasn't something I was interested in. I got c grades and graduated only becuase I had made the commitment to a program when I entered High School . I was in the Health program at Benson. It had a lot to offer. However in my senior year I slacked off and did all I could to get out of learning. Please listen to your daughter..she'll stop learning if you keep her there. and she'll do only what it takes to graduate.. and frankly in public school that isn't much. I made the rules with my teachers.. I told them what I would and wouldn't do.

I think she'll respect you so much if you listen to her.
Let us know what you did and how she reacted, I'd love to hear.

Also, I wish you were closer! I have a childcare center out of my home and we'd love to have an intern who's homeschooling. is she interested in children? she could be working during the day with children while you're at work. its a great way to gain experience and she'll feel good about herself too!

Look for a certified family childcare home that needs an assistant or even an intern. just a tought! :)
good luck

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I see you have a lot of posts, and am sure you got lots of great advice, but wanted to quickly post a website that i saw about Home schooling High school students.

www.washingtonvirtualhighschool.com
They get a real diploma not a GED, and can participate in the district sports and activities.

she probably is feeling a lot of "teenage pressures of today"

Good Luck to you!

1 mom found this helpful

Homeschooling is one of the best things I think I could have done for my kids. My son did not ask for it, but has benefited from it greatly. Homeschooling can be done through a charter school, or you can do it yourself, and she can even take suplimental college courses.

It sounds like you do not want to go this route, yet your daughter does. Might be something you want to research. I was very ignorant to homeschooling before I became a homeschooler. My son was abused in pre-school then I pulled them both kids out of daycare/preschool and stayed home with them. My son was put into public school in Kindergarten, and he had major issues that just escalated so in 2nd grade I researched homeschooling and ended up pulling him out to homeschool.

I have found that when my son is forced to sit in a class all day and memorize things he does not retain the information, and does not have a sense of self motivation. Since homeschooling I find that he absorbs the information better, and has more ownership of his education.

Either way, good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

Independent Study at Guajome Park Academy in Vista is what I put my son in when he didn’t want to attend school. He went once a week to pick up his school work and meet with his teacher. This took about an hour a week. He received a regular high school diploma and graduated on time with the rest of his class. It was the best school choice for him.

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