Teenage ADD Advice

Updated on January 18, 2007
M.T. asks from Centerton, AR
8 answers

My soon to be 13 year old nephew has ADD. He is on medication for it and has been for some time. I have talked to his doctor over and over again about how it doesn't seem to wear off after a while. Even his teachers have noticed. So the doctor have moved around when he takes how much of his medicine and I can't see a difference. The doctor says he's on the maxium dose that he can have, which I don't understand because his younger brother takes a higher dose than he does, but he's the doctor. My nephew seems to be getting out of control. He thinks that he should be able to say and do what he wants when he wants. When his medicine wears off he talks 90 to nothing and you can't understand him. He is very disrespectful and doesn't respond to punishment. I know that a big part of this behavor has to do with his age but this is crazy! And his brother and sister see how he acts so they try to do the same. He starts a million different things and hardly ever finishes them. And since he has moved in with me he hasn't had a male figure in his life. And before that he had my father (his grandfather but he worked all the time). So he seems to feel like he is the daddy and can tell everyone what to do. His temper has seemed to incease as well as he has gotten older. He used to be such a good kid. He had good grades and never got in trouble at school. And now his teacher are calling me about him being out of control and talking and being rude. I talk to him about it but it's like a neverending battle with all the kids right now. I have even noticed it starting to rub off on my infant son. Any advice would help me greatly! I feel like I have tried everything!

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A.

answers from Houston on

M., I commend what you are doing. I know medication is needed but you might supplement to that as well. Try getting some one on one time with him and take him out for a long jog/run. Also look into getting regular adjustments from a chiropractor. I have a couple of girlfriends that are taking thier boys to a chiropractor and have taken them off their meds. She they did not want to go the route of the meds. As for the jogging, I saw a piece on one of the news programs and it showed older nuns running ophanges who uses running to deal with their most trouble some kids and it was so effective and they even sited several children with ADD or ADHD who were getting off their meds and had stop showing signs of the syptoms that caused them to be diagnosed in the first place.

Also look into getting the boys into a big brother program as well as getting them involved in some sort of sports, maybe start off with individual sports like martial arts [and I believe several dojos' sensais really take in the kids and may help give him that father figure that he may need]. Or see if the school that he is attending has some sort of track program. Alot of the time children with ADD and ADHD have so much energy built up so much more than any of us can handle and to push all that only a growing child its so hard for them to handle. And if you help them exhaust all that energy it helps them deal with the rest of their issues. I don't know just a thought and a suggestion. Good luck. A.

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D.

answers from Shreveport on

Im going to tell you, it will take time and work for it to get better, I have a 17 year old that is severe adhd, one thing you could do is make sure he is on a non stimulant drug, I went thru the same thing with my son, and we changed to a non stimulant and hes not out of control, but he has other issues as well.I will tell you this, structure is the key, he needs some kind of chore list as well as free time list, he needs to do physical activities, tv, video games have to be limited. I noticed you said this is your nephew, you also said he wasnt always like this, could he have a chemical imbalance, they are not treated the same. You have to set limits and whether he is adhd or not, he has to have punishments or your other kids will do the same thing. Im living it now with a 17 year old with adhd and a 14 year old and a 7 year old and my husband leaves for Iraq in 1 week, so if i can help you I will try .

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J.V.

answers from Baton Rouge on

Wow M., sounds like you have your hands full. My ADHD son is now 16 and I have learned a LOT over the years. In the past year I was also diagnosed with ADD so all of this is just my experience speaking. Everyone is different.

In your posting you said you have "talked to his doctor over and over again about how it doesn't seem to wear off after a while" - are you saying that the medicine *does* wear off? That would make more sense and if so about all they can do is play with the doses, times, and medication itself. You mentioned the younger brother being on a higher dose - is it the same medication? If not, then you really can't compare since the dosing will be different with different meds.

Now, one important thing here is that, in addition to the ADD and the usual "teenage" additude you also now have raging hormones thrown in to the mix...when my son was 13 we had to re-evaluate his medications and make some adjustments.

With ADD it is very important to stick to routines. I know this isn't easy in a small household not to mention one with other teens but if you can, try to get some in place at the most critical times. Each person with ADD is different so there is going to be a LOT of trial and error. I recently learned that the arguing and fighting acts as a stimulant for many people with ADD so they will do things to get that negative attention although they may not realize they are doing it.

Also, there are often other issues that go hand-in-hand with ADD such as anxiety disorders, obsessive-compulsive disorders, learning disabilities such as dyslexia. We just found out that my son is dysgraphic, which is similar to dysgrahia. It is my understanding that these are not always obvious and are sometimes not noticed because the focus is on the ADD.

With all that said there really is no easy answer. There is never a dull moment with an ADD person, especially if they have the hyperactivity element. I recommend reading as much as you can on the subject, books such as "Driven to Distraction" are good. Talking with your Dr. or finding one who sepcializes in ADD (if yours does not). Dr. Hoppe is highly recommended. Get as mcuh help from the school as you can. If it is a public school they have to help. Also, there is a local chapter of CHADD (Children and Adults with Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder) which you can see more about at http://www.lacachadd.org. They have a lending library and lots of resources.

M., hang in there. You are not alone.

J.

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L.R.

answers from Shreveport on

Only thing I can say, is perhaps it is not ADD you are dealing with here. You should ask his doctor to recommend a child psychologist or someone to help determine if, in fact, the child has ADD or is dealing with something entirely different.

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T.U.

answers from Fort Smith on

My daughter has ADHD, and when she turned 13 and the meds did't work anymore, the doctor told me that teens wether, boy or girl, their bodies and hormones change and with these kids its is worse and it doubles what a normal teen feels or goes through.I don't know what your nephew is on, but there are other meds that he can be put on to get him under control. There is concerta,ridlin, adderal,and they are discovering new things every day. There is hope so don't give up. There are booklets with information and i think there are support groups. The doctor just happened to find the right meds for my child and man was i relieved. But they get amuned to them and then u either go up on the dose or change meds again.It's a never ending thing. Just always tell and show them that you love them and they and you will get through.

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L.D.

answers from Houston on

i have an 18 yr old adhd he is getting help thru MHMRA and I understand. It is a trial and error method but your son is a special needs child according to state law. He has the right for his family to fight for him. If you inform medicaid group of your concerns sometimes they retest and change drs etc. His hormones is one of the problems according to my dr. Meds dont work also because of different things like caffeine, cokes etc. That causes the talking fast etc. and some of the rebellion. My son has been in so many hospital emergency rooms because of his taking adderal and drinking coke, coffee, etc. I will pray for you if you need other help you can email me at ____@____.com.

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A.P.

answers from Houston on

Wow M., you have got your hands full. My son is ADHD as well and he currently is off his medication because he had a siezure on Thanksgiving. Life is difficult let me tell you!

Remember that communication and social skills being poor are one of the things that comes with being ADHD or ADD. Also as a result of these social problems they often get anxious or depressed. My son takes Zoloft and it was the miracle drug when it was prescribed. It really helps with wild mood swings. My son used to go from screaming in rage over nothing to sobbing and crying limp on the floor or in a chair over seemingly nothing. He also gets super silly and makes faces and gets happy and can't stop laughing and smiling even when he needs to stop and wants to stop.

Therapy is best, my son has gone for years and I see improvements but it takes time. Sounds like those teens are feeding off some fear and anger and I really think that you should talk to your doctor about depression/anxiety perhaps and seek family counseling or that alateen program I told you about.

Good luck honey!

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P.F.

answers from Houston on

Hi there!
Listen I know how you feel...I have a almost 13 yrs old son he had the same problems,the Dr.Diagnosed him ( 6yrs ago) with ADD...the same problem medecine wasn't working afte a couple of months,his teachers want me to give more dose but the Dr.says he can't give him more....
Listen I'm not so good writing so if you want give me a call my Cell ###-###-####...I just can tell you the first Dr.gave us a wrong diagnosis...my son has depress and anxiety and this was caused for my problems with his dad...now he's in a private school and we have family terapy...so if you want to call me feel free to do it...the best time is after 5:15 pm...
I live at north area....
Thanks P.

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