T.J. asks from Pittsboro, NC on April 25, 2011
Teen Rated Video Games. Am I Being Overprotective????
First off let me say I love my sister dearly. We are really close. At least once every couple of months we get together with the kids and meet somewhere mutual. We live about an hour away from each other so it’s not often we get together in our homes.
This past Sunday my kids and I drove to her house for Easter. We usually meet at my Mom’s for holidays.
While the kids played out front my sister and I pulled out some beach chairs and just sat outside while the kids played.
At one point my son 5, and my nephew 7, went upstairs to my nephew’s room to play.
My daughter came to me and asked if I was aware of the games my nephew was playing with her brother on his Xbox upstairs. My sister made a comment that my nephew has games that maybe I wouldn’t like but they were really no big deal.
I went to check and they were playing a hunting game. It looked so realistic and very disturbing for a 7 y/o IMO, let alone my 5 y/o son. When I checked the case it was for Teen-17+. The picture on the front was extremely graphic of a hunter killing a bear. Well I asked him to pick a different game and he asked which one so I looked through his collection. They were all Teen rated and either Hunting, guns, a police chasing criminal game, etc.…..none I felt were appropriate so I asked my son to come play outside which he did. My nephew remained in his room playing the game. It didn’t help that my nephew has about a 20in flat screen T.V. in his room and it made the graphics on the game just that much more realistic.
When I came back outside with my son, my sister asked what happened and not judging I just said that I didn’t want my son playing those games as they would likely scare him or at the very least cause nightmares.
Her comment was “Oh poor guy! He’s a boy! You need to toughen him up”. My BIL actually sided with me saying that my nephew was used to the games since he’s been playing them for a long time and that it’s true, my son is not accustomed to them. I didn’t mention that my son’s favorite game was Wii Ski. LOL! (we do not have Xbox nor a T.V. in my son’s room though).
At this point some of the neighbors were over, asked what games they were playing that their kids had the same games and same ages as my nephew.
These games are rated teen for a reason right? Am I being overprotective? Are more and more young kids playing teen rated games?
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N.W. answers from Eugene on April 25, 2011
My sons are now 14 and 16 and I've just recently started to let them buy Teen-rated games. Even so, I don't allow first person shooter games in my house. They can play the strategy type war games but if the screen shows them looking down the barrel of a gun and shooting people, sorry, not in my house.
7 moms found this helpful
M.C. answers from Washington DC on April 25, 2011
Good for you. You are not being over protective!
There are some T games that I let my 10y play, but they are mostly Motocross, Demolition, Racing games. Nothing with a gun!
My BIL lets his 8y son play Rated T and M combat games just because my BIL wants to play them and doesn't want to wait for his son to not be in the room.
My cousin lets her 6y play a combat game that is rated T or M just because it deals with WWII and well Grandpa fought in that war, so she sees is as educational. What?!? My son borrowed it, and I was horrified! Luckily my son couldn't get the hang of the game and got bored.
A 5y should defintely NOT be playing Rated T and above games. Games with all that violence rob a kid of the 'shock' factor and how it relates to reality. It makes it harder for kids that play them to not respond with violence because that's all they know.
7 moms found this helpful
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M.C. answers from Washington DC on April 25, 2011
Good for you. You are not being over protective!
There are some T games that I let my 10y play, but they are mostly Motocross, Demolition, Racing games. Nothing with a gun!
My BIL lets his 8y son play Rated T and M combat games just because my BIL wants to play them and doesn't want to wait for his son to not be in the room.
My cousin lets her 6y play a combat game that is rated T or M just because it deals with WWII and well Grandpa fought in that war, so she sees is as educational. What?!? My son borrowed it, and I was horrified! Luckily my son couldn't get the hang of the game and got bored.
A 5y should defintely NOT be playing Rated T and above games. Games with all that violence rob a kid of the 'shock' factor and how it relates to reality. It makes it harder for kids that play them to not respond with violence because that's all they know.
7 moms found this helpful
N.W. answers from Eugene on April 25, 2011
My sons are now 14 and 16 and I've just recently started to let them buy Teen-rated games. Even so, I don't allow first person shooter games in my house. They can play the strategy type war games but if the screen shows them looking down the barrel of a gun and shooting people, sorry, not in my house.
7 moms found this helpful
D.B. answers from Charlotte on April 25, 2011
This is normal for parents who allow it - they justify it with saying that you should allow your child because it makes it "okay" that their kid does it.
I hated those kind of games, and when my sons came home with a game that was over the top, I would "lose" the game and it would somehow never materialize again. And they knew it too.
There are so many games that are not full of violence that a child your son's age can be playing, including educational games. There is no reason to "toughen up" your son and allow him to play the games before he is an older teen.
That being said, there is more to the issue here. You want your son to play with his cousin when you visit. You don't want your son to play games instead, or even moreso, your nephew ignore your son while he plays his games. Your sister is being lazy IMHO by letting the games be a babysitter while you visit her. You can choose to allow this to keep the peace, but I think I'd just stop bringing my son if she can't make her boy get off his butt and play with his cousin without the x-box. You have a right to say no to the games. If you don't stand up for yourself now, there is no telling what your nephew will be into next with your son, including R rated movies on that great big TV screen. These kids need to have structure and rules, and she doesn't seem to care about enforcing them - so you need to do the enforcing.
Tell her that you want them to spend time off the games when you come. If she wants her nephew to play, have him do it when you guys aren't there. If they aren't playing games, there is no squabble about the type of game being played.
Good luck,
D.
7 moms found this helpful
K.F. answers from New York on April 25, 2011
You are definitely not being overprotective. The graphics and subject matter for these games are more and more severe the higher the rating. Teen games are all about the gutts and gore. What seeing this does to young minds and old minds is it makes them less sensitive to life. It makes one cold and callous. It robs innocense.
Fast forward to when her son and yours are actually teens and become adults. You will see where this leads in the lifestyle and life choices made by each of the children. Your son may stand a better chance of becoming a strong but caring man while hers may because something less than that. It does make a difference.
Continue to make good choices for your son and teach him how to do the same thing.
6 moms found this helpful
I.N. answers from Raleigh on April 25, 2011
i would have done what you did. my kids are allowed to play sports games and that's pretty much it. YES, they're rated teen for a reason! no need to expose a kid to gory games, imho.
6 moms found this helpful
M.F. answers from Denver on April 25, 2011
My husband is a game designer. Has worked for some big companies. We have video games in our house and it is a part of our life.
Our 5 year old likes to play video games.
My one rule is fantasy violence is fine. Things like dragons and fairies and cartoonish creatures. It is very easy for her to know that those are not real.
My husband respects me and does not play the "first person shooters" and war-time games around my daughter.
I go more by what the game is and what it has in it that the rating, as I want to be the one who decides for my daughter, with input as far as her maturity level, what she partakes in and what she does not...
Not some strangers trying to hand out what is ok, one size fits all type thing.
I think it is more important to know what your child can or can not handle based on his/her maturity, that is more important than the rating.
3 moms found this helpful
R.J. answers from Seattle on April 25, 2011
Heck... I don't let my 8yo play all the ***E*** games out there...
But I DO let him play several Teen or Mature games. (Halo series, & Assassins Creed series)
It's one reason why I get an "approved" list from parents before playdates ("Hey... if the xbox comes on, are there time limits you'd like / which -if any- games would be okay?" We have a pretty decent range; from kinnect dance to lego to first person shooter). I just teach my son that different families have different rules, and we go by the lowest common denominator. Ditto, when he's at friends houses. Some of his friends aren't allowed to play Halo, but are allowed to play World at War (which he isn't). So neither game (theoretically) gets played. In all reality, not ALL of kiddo's friends' families check with us, but most do.
I personally take Teen to = Parental Guidance (although I do 'parental guidance' with E games, as well), and M games to = (not without explicit parental approval).
What bothers me more is the whole peer pressure/ ganging up on YOU that your friends and family did. What's right for one child, even in the same sibling group, isn't necessarilly right for all... MUCH LESS in different families.
3 moms found this helpful
K.P. answers from Memphis on April 26, 2011
No, you're being "good" protective, and they're being *under*protective!
I'm pretty careful with what my kids are exposed to, because I realized that from an early age my older son would have nightmares after seeing just a few minutes of a scary/dramatic movie, if he wandered through the living room while my husband was watching something. Even now at 6 y/o, he still does. [A few months ago, he watched Pooh's Heffalump Halloween, and that night woke up crying from a scary dream.]
Sure, a lot of parents probably don't care if their kids watch/play games that are too old for them, and some kids are probably okay watching/playing stuff like that (perhaps because they've been exposed to it for so long that they're inured to it). But I think that kids are growing up too quickly, and being exposed to too much too soon, so I think you're doing exactly what you need to be doing, even if most parents are more lenient.
2 moms found this helpful
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