Teaching Kindness in Our Home.

It's tough isn't it? I think about the times my kids have acted as little tape recorders playing back a recording of me and I know exactly where you are - and how you feel. I think the people who've advised you so far have given perfect advice. Take a step back before you react with unkind words. This will teach them to do the same. Trust me - I know unkindness comes from my lips far too often and some times it even happens in front of the kids - ouch. Just know that it happens to the best of us and that you can start anew today. Your kids can start anew too.

Hi L.!

My grown kids can't ever figure why the grandbabes are well behaved at my house and not theirs. It's simple. They learn by example and consistancy. (Not saying that their bad parents, they're great!) The one thing that works in my house is a simple question, followed by a statement.

"Do I do that to you?"

They respond, "No."

"Then you don't do that to (fill in the blank)"

For some reason, it works. I then tell the offender to apologize to the "victim", looking them in the eye. Sometimes, they end up laughing during the apology (something to do with looking the other in the eye), but that's ok. They're getting the message.

Good behavior and kindness start with you. You set the example. Unkind words leave scars far longer than a physical wound. Check the tongue before words come out. It's true, silence, at times, is golden.

Just Me!
S.

My Grandma told my Mother, my Mother told me as I will tell my children, the best way to teach a child is by example. Kindness begats kindness.

I think that one of the biggest things that you might have to do is really watch what you and your husband say that are unkind. Kids are spitting images of their parents. Also what you might have to do is start punishing them for the unkind things that they do and not for everything boys will be boys they are not always kind to one another but there are things that are not acceptable for them to be doing to each other. ex.- hitting,kicking,and the way that they talk to each other. Also some might say to reward them for the nice things that they do but that is not right either because they should not expect rewards for being nice. hope this helps if you have any other questions feel free to let me know!
B.:)

The other night at the dinner table my five year old said a sentence containing the word "freaking". Where did he hear this from? From us, we've tried to "watch" our language but in doing so we changed bad words for others ones. We explained that it was a bad word and that we shouldn't say it either.
There is a list (not an actual viewable list) of "not nice" words in my house. This includes, dumb, stupid, and duh. Whenever someone in my brother's house did something silly or asked a silly questions, duh was told to them. I watched as that simple "word" hurt my niece. Time after time, day after day. Pretty soon my niece started to believe it herself. Amazing though that when she comes to my house she knows not to say it and even corrects her father when he says it in my house or even my presences. We even found that when you say "smart'n up" it hurts just as bad. When you think about what you have said you realize the way the person you said it to takes it. As they say, "It's not how you meant it but how they took it that counts."
As parents we are examples and role models. If we show are children that we are just a responsible for our actions as they are for theirs we can change a lot. By showing your children that you can say sorry, teaches them that it is ok for them to say it as well. If a parent can be punished for saying a bad word then the children accept their punishments as well. It also teaches the parents not to say them.
My husband and I are complete opposites so we argue a lot. In having kids we have learned to agree to disagree. It's a wake up call when your children tell you to stop fighting just as it is when they learn a bad word from your very own mouth. Perhaps the kids fight or are mean to each other because mom and dad do it too and they believe it is acceptable.

I have a 13 year old girl and a 9 year old boy and they fight like cats and dogs. My son had adhd. all you can really do is explain moms and dads sometimes say things they shouldnt just like the do to eachother.And that they need to try a little harder to get along. I never found a good way for my kids to get along yet. I am 29 and been married almost 10 years