Teaching a 19-Month-old Toddler Not to Throw Food

Hi E.

The instant she starts throwing food, that means she is Done. Take her out of her high chair and put the food away in the sink. Yes, you also need to say "We don't throw food" and 'If you throw food that means you are done". Matter of fact.

You don't need games, or help her laugh it off. You are training her to be sociable, and around people, and you don't want her trained to throw food -- so train her to eat her food, and to throw balls. After you instantly remove her food as soon as she is done, tell her when she is on the floor that its OK to throw ball, so go outside and help her throw a ball. Much more fun!

I used to sign to my kids so that they could sign back to me when they were done with their food. That has worked with many of my friends. It gives the child the responsibility to tell you when they have finished.

Whatever happens, don't get into a discussion or fight about her getting food back after you take it away. Stay neutral. If she convinces you she is not done, and then gets her food back, make sure she eats it, and does not throw it. Be consistent. If she throws again, tell her she is done, food throwing is not OK, and get her out of there. Food throwing is non-negotiable. You can show your enthusiasm for throwing a ball.

Hope that helps.
P.

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E. - it is NEVER okay to throw food! You asked when you should start teaching her? The first time she did it! You need to be stern to her and let her know that is not acceptable. Take the food from her and don't give it back, put her on a time out! What ever method you use to stop other unwanted behavior. If you just clean up after her you are teaching her to be a spoiled brat! She is totally acting out and pushing her boundaries. You need to show her who is in charge and where the boundaries are.

Sorry to be so strong, but if you don't get this behavior under check right now, you are in for a world of hurt as she gets older. Imagine what kindergarten will be like if she doesn't know rules now!

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As a mom the moment my daughter let food fall from her hand to the floor was the moment I started to teach her not to. You have allowed this behavior to begin and it will be hard for you to break. Just because she is a baby doesnt mean that she shouldnt learn manners and rules. If she tosses a toy a another child would you scold her or allow it? Same principal. You are the parent. You are the one to set the rules and what you will accept in behavior. If she continues to toss food then take the food away. She will learn. My daughter now when she is finished eating places all of her food that has fallen on her tray onto her plate and will hand me her plate and utinsels. She is 18 months old. She also wipes her hands and face with a towel. She does these things because from the beginning it has been taught. Remember, that as a parent you need to teach them how to be proper and productive adults and that they start learning from infancy.

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I know you don't want to hear this, but it's perfectly normal for toddlers to throw and/or play with their food. They're learning how to control their environment and that includes "Hmm, I wonder what happens when I do this....?" I hear they eventually grow out of it. My son is 2, and he never really threw his food, but he's had his moments, and he definitely likes to play with his food.

You're on the right track when you question your expectations as realistic. One thing you could definitely try - as I did - is to give her one piece at a time. While it's tedious, you'll have less food to clean up if she decides to throw it!! I'm learning the hard way that patience is the only way to deal with many things that come with parenthood.....

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Hi E.,
Not a popular point of view, but a good old fashioned swat is my recommendation. Given very calmly and not out of anger, it teaches them right from wrong in a way that will not teach them violence fixes everything. I'm sure I'll get disparaging e-mails over this, but I have 4 girls and they all go through phases of different things, testing boundaries. They need to know where the boundaries are and they test them quite often. We are very consistent with where we place boundaries and they know what happens if they push it. It's normal for them to test things to see how far they can go, but it sounds like it's time to place your boundary and stick to it. No disrespect to any child psychologists or anyone else, but at 19 months they may not be able to understand reasoning or games to fix things, but they definitely understand that a swat hurts and they don't want to do whatever it is that earns them a swat very many times! And above all, consistency. If you change your boundary even once, they will see that as a sign you don't really mean what you say, and the cycle will go on and on.
God bless!

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Hi!
Well, toddlerhood is upon you! :) The big thing with behavior related things and this age group is to nip it in the bud. Be firm in your expectations and when you say "We don't throw food." That's the end of it. If she does it again, she needs to understand she will lose her privilege of eating for that meal. We did that for my kids, both of them and would warn them when they were ready to throw... reminding them that they'd lose their food if they did... and after losing their food once or twice, they picked it up quickly and rarely, had to be reminded that we don't throw food. They're 3 and 5 now. :) My nephew, however, is a different story. My brother and SIL sometimes let laughter get the better of them and pretty soon, my nephew is throwing everything in sight... and it became a big problem because sometimes they'd be stern and not let it happen and other times, they'd laugh and so my nephew just throws as much to get attention as anything... all because they weren't consistent. Makes family mealtimes trying sometimes because it gets the older ones wound up and that in turn gets the littlest nephew wound up and more thrown food. So be consistent and firm... Don't worry that he'll starve, he won't... and if it makes him hungrier, he might think twice about throwing food the next time. And bear in mind that in 10 minutes after the drama is over and the table cleared and the matter forgotten, you can still give him a cracker or two to tide him over until the next meal. :) Good luck! And remember, this goes for everything... squashing bananas, you name it... set your limits and enforce them... every time!

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I agree with Peta completly! Toddlers have a very short attention span...sometimes just a few minutes. They physically can't sit at the table and behave for as long as it takes for us to eat a meal. Remove the food as soon as she is done or starts to throw it and tell her "The rule is we don't throw food". Ask her if she wants to be excused. If she does...take her from the table. If she doesn't, give her a napkin to play with or a simple toy. Model good table manners for her and show her how you eat your food. I would also highly recommend "How to talk to children so they listen and listen so they talk" by Adele Faber as a book to read. Works great on husbands too! Good luck...she will stop once she see's that it has no affect on you.

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Hi,
When my daughter was throwing food, I would give her a time-out out of her highchair for 1 minute. After the time-out, she needed to pick up the food she threw. I would then sit her back down to eat, but gave her a time-out every time she did it. It makes for a very long meal time, but if you're consistent it should work. It took maybe 2 days. She's now 21 months and very rarely throws her food. Hope this helps!

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Hello E., yes, your little thinks that throwing food is fun. I am a mother of 4 girls, 3 of them re all grown up and a 15 year old. I had experienced with food throwing in my lifetime. I am also a an early childhood educator. First of all, introduce the word throw and catch with a ball. Try to
explain to her the things she can throw. Introduce the word eat and model. Eat with her and say the word, "eat" many times. You do this many times with her until she stops throwing. At the same time, keep the ball throwing or any toys that she can throw. Your little one will get the concept of eating and throwing. Give her a hug, a high five or just word praises when she doesn't throw food. Patience, patience, patience, you can do it.

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I think it was around this age (maybe even earlier) that we started teachign our daughter not to drop her food from her chair. I had always told her we dont drop/throw our food, but in order to get her to completely stop, as soon as she dropped anything on ppurpose, i took her plate away. If she was still hungry, I would offer it back to her about a min or two later but remove it completely if she just dropped her food again.

Good luck!

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I was just reading about this in one of my toddler books. It said that when the child starts throwing food (or dropping it off the highchiar like mine is!), meal time is over. Take the child out of the high chair and get them involved with another activity. Or, I suppose you could just remove the food and give your child something to play with.

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I have done this technique with both of my children and it worked well. They were just over a year when they went through this stage. Each time they threw food I took them out of their seat, sang the clean-up song and gave them a small slop bucket(our garbage service gave us a container for food waste that was the perfect size) to put the food they threw into. They got tired of having to clean up after themselves throughout a meal and soon stopped making a mess at mealtime.

My sister says, "You're showing me that you're done eating if you're throwing your food," and mealtime is over when that happens. Sounds like your sound effects are working. It's hard, but it all passes. Hang in there, C.

I also have to agree with Peta about taking the food away as soon as she throws (or drops) any of it. Making games around eating time gets you a child that plays with their food. Probably not the goal you had in mind. :o)

For those who say this sort of thing is to be expected at this age I have to say that there is a big difference between what is expectable (at any age) and what is acceptable (in your house, in society, etc.). I was not exactly astonished when my then toddler bit another child. That was something I knew could happen (expectable), but that didn't mean that I let her get away with it (not acceptable)! Same with throwing food, running away when asked to come to you, talking back, lying, or refusing to take a nap, pick up toys, have thier face wiped, etc. All of those things are expectable behaviors at some point, but none of them are acceptable. You are the parent and your little princess will happier with well established expectations and boundaries. So will you! :o)

I am with the moms that say take the food away. My 15 month old does not throw, she just pushes everything off her highchair. As soon as I see her start to move her arms back and forth, I remove everything.
I am not with the mom that says give her swat.

PS, it is normal and it will not last forever. Don't beat yourself up.

I have 5. My 3 year old at that age would drop her food on the floor, then scream to get out of the high chair, only to sit on the floor under her chair and eat to her hearts content. So, I, like other moms, said 'we don't throw our food', cleaned up the mess before I put her down on a clean floor. She'd cry because there was nothing to eat! But oh well. It didn't take much for this process to work for us. Our 11 month old twins are up next in this area, wish us luck!

Realize that at 19 months, she is starting to test her boundaries and will see what it takes to push your buttons. It will take a lot of repetition and consistency to teach her the behavior you find acceptable. Stay calm and when she throws food, take it way. She will not starve by missing a couple of meals and she will quickly learn. Good luck.

My youngest used to throw food, he thought it was funny and to tell you the truth so did we. I don't like a messy house, but I'm sorry it was just funny. Keep trying to teach her, but don't worry, she won't grow up to be a heathen and she will grow out of it.

(p.s. - This is my straight A, I don't want to go to that party there are stoners there, son.)

Hi E.,

Larissa has a great idea....The only thing I could add is possibly taking her out of a high chair in exchange for a booster chair (make her feel like BIG girl (who does not throw food).

Hope you have a dog....that always helped around our house.

Blessings.....

give less food. dole small portions out to her from a plate that is out of her reach. she will have to ask for more each time she finishes the couple of spoonfuls you give her (requesting behavior increases verbal skills) and there is less material for her to make messes with.

at a younger age, i would recommend letting her do it, as it is an important develpmental step, but at 19 months, you can start to set boundaires. however, it is easiest to prevent the situation in some cases.

this, like many moms have said, will pass.