Teachers and Mispronunciation of Child's Name

As a Mommy and an Art Teacher I would love to respond to this. In no way do I EVER mispronounce a name on purpose as I am sure your daughters teachers do not do it on purpose either. I travel to three schools during the week. I have grades 4-8 in the fall semester and grades K-3 in the spring. I see them once a week in the semester I have them. I cant remember most of their names let alone remember how to pronounce them! If I do remember their name or even read it off their paper I cant remember if the Gabrielle at this school pronounces her name with the long A sound or is hers the short A sound and the girl at one of the other schools is the long A.
If I had your daughter I would appreciate it if she spoke up and reminded me how to pronounce it- even if it took all year. Once I finally get it I would remember her name and how to pronounce it until she left for high school. Of course, then she would see me at the grocery store and I probably wouldn't even know who she was. (Once the are gone and they grow and change and we havent seen them every year it gets even harder to remember)
I think its great that she wears a name tag, but I bet that doesnt continue for the whole school year! I wish it would. In two of my schools I don't even have an art room, so it's art on a cart. This complicates things even more. You spend so much time making sure you don't forget something you need for todays classes and hope you havent forgotten something at another school that name memory goes out the window.
Please cut them some slack. I know that my daughters name will be mispronounced when she gets to school, because it is already being mispronounced! Brennan- not Brianna, not Brenda, not Brandon (insurance guy said this over the phone), not Brenna (although this one is closest) Bren would be fine but we are teaching her to write her WHOLE first name.

Oh, btw, I have a student named Michelle. looks like "mi shell" would be right, but no, it is pronounced "mi key lee". It took me three years to get that one right consistently.

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In life, we have to learn to lighten up. This is one of those occasions. I, myself, need to tell myself this every day. I get so wound up over things that really in the scheme of things, are not big deals. I write emails only to erase them. I'm sure Elli will learn to address the issue herself as she becomes a more confident kid. Save the advocate stance for when things really go wrong at school. If you want to be involved, volunteer in the classroom, be a party room mom, come in to help with big projects!! Try not to get upset over the little things. Give Elli the words to use to tell the Art Teacher, " Ms. ___, my name is Elliana and sometimes people call me Elli. I think you may have read it wrong." Believe me, as a teacher (yes I teach) , I would immediately apologize and say I will try really hard to remember next week and if I don't remind me again, okay? Good luck!

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Personally, I think there are bigger fish to fry than this one. Why you are so upset about this, enough to be contacting the school on multiple occasions is a little baffling. Two letter and an e-mail? That's a lot.

How does your daughter feel about this? This is a perfect opportunity for YOU to teach HER how to be assertive and advocate for HERSELF instead of continuing your helicopter role. Helicoptering is okay when your child is in danger or being treated unfairly. Helicoptering is not appropriate when your kid should be able to take care of the issue on her own.

As a teacher, there are some names that I continue to butcher even after a few weeks. My last name is spelled unusually, so I totally get that it happens and that it isn't mean-spirited. I see 150 students every day and yes, occasionally the one different or eccentric name escapes me but eventually I get it. The special teachers at your child's school, if it is K-5 and they're the only one, may be seeing 300-500 kids A WEEK...that's a lot of names to remember, especially if they're only seeing them in chunks of 25 minutes at a time once or twice a week.

This is a perfect opportunity to help your daughter start using her voice and standing up for herself. You won't (and shouldn't) be able to do it forever.

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I would go talk to the music and art teachers myself. They will be the same teachers your daughter has for the rest of elementary school. It would be awful for her to go for many years being called the wrong name.

You could offer to volunteer to help in art and music, and that would endear you to those teachers. Believe me, with lots of kids in a choir, and lots of materials in art, they'd probably be very glad to have your help. Everytime you go you can ask how Elliana is doing - that way they hear her name coming out of your mouth. That will help.

All my best,
D.

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We taught our son to politely speak up each time and tell the teacher or whoever the right way to pronounce his name. He does this and it works! He's not shy about speaking up though, but maybe you can help your daughter to do this. I think she should write her full name on her papers at school (unless she herself prefers a nickname).

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Teach her to speak up when they call her by the wrong name. Empower her. Does it bother her? Did she, herself, tell you that they were calling her by the wrong name?
I love the name, Elliana, by the way. Good luck!

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This seems to be one of those things that should be up to your daughter. Ask her what she wants to be called. Then, if it is Elliana, give her permission to remind any adult who pronounces it wrong. At that age, they don't usually want to go against authority. So, let her know it's OK in this case. Then, if any of the teachers say something to you about it, you can again remind them how to pronounce it. I think that it's simply a matter of respect to make sure that you're pronouncing a person's name correctly. It doesn't matter is that person is a Kindergartner or an adult.

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Unfortunately she has to learn how to communicate what she wants to be called.

A person's name is the most important word they hear. A person should be addressed by the name they choose. It is up to that person to clearly communicate it.

Nowadays, there are so many variations of different and odd names..it makes it hard.

I have often been called Sue as a nickname for myself and I HATE it. I learned that if you don't speak up people won't stop. To this day, if I am called Sue, I correct the person right then and there as respectfully as possible.

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I agree teach your daughter to say "Ellie - Anna or Elli... not Elena".

My mum was frequently involved in our schools, and name problems cropped up frequently amongst us. While we needed to deal with the teachers on a daily basis (and she taught us how to do so), until they stopped mispronouncing our names, my mum would call THEM by incorrect names as well. (The excuse was often, that it was just a tiny difference, until my MUM started making tiny differences in their names). Sarah became Sorah, Katherine became Katerine, Bob became Rob, Michelle became Mikaela, etc.

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At age 5, can you daughter be the one to tell them that they say it wrong? It will probably be more easily rectified if she were to say "Excuse me Miss ___, you say my name wrong. It's Elliana not Elena." or "Can you please call me Elli?". I would try to teach my daughter how to handle this situation instead of micromanaging it from afar.

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Unfortunately, you daughter will live with this problem her whole life. My name is C. and I get all sorts of pronounciations. Depending on the circumstance (like how long and often I think a person will stay in my life; depends on what I do).

I also get all sorts of spellings. Chantel, Chantelle, Shantel, etc.... I am sure that your daughter will have the same problem. This frustrates me more than how the name is pronounced.

I am also a teacher. I definitely would not of called her Elena. That's a completely different name but I would probably have confused the ending because I wouldn't know if it was 'Anna' or 'onna' unitl you or she said it for me.

I would go one day, while these teachers are on campus and talk to them personally. I wouldn't be mad at them. They clearly have many students if they can't get names correctly.

Your daughter's name is very beautiful but beautiful, unique names come with a price. The upside of the situation is that as an adult, I can always tell if the person really knows me or if it is a telemarketer, just by how they say and spell my name.

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We all want our kids names pronounced correctly, but we must get used to the fact that it might not always be that way.
My maiden name was one of those long Polish surnames...with lots of consonants and a few vowels. Always got messed up at the beginning of the year. I think kids should do what is polite and respectful to help others with their name, but no one should get upset about it.
Life is too short.
I helped at girls basketball tryouts a couple yrs. ago. One girl came to try-outs named Johntaysha. (I would say John- TAY- sha, just like it looks.)
Coach called her name, like we guessed-- above, and this girl came huffing and puffing out on to the court, steaming mad and yelling at this authority figure that he butchered her name!!! She said it is pronounced "Jon-tassa" and don't mess it up again! I am tired of people mispronouncing my name!" He said, "I won't, because you are dismissed and you can go home for speaking to me like that. Maybe your mom should have picked another name if she didn't want it messed up."

An extreme story, I know, and Johntaysha is a very unhappy person b/c she can't get over this.

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Unfortunately there isn't a darn thing you can do about it. It is her name, she can tell them what name to call her.

My son is 4.5 will be 5 in December. He tells his 2 year old sister not to call him Bubba (that is what they call him...can't say Brock). He is assertive enough to share his displeasure, she will when it truly bothers her.

To ask the teachers to use the correct pronunciation will fall on deaf ears and they will only be annoyed with you.

I am often asked if my son was named after our President and they also at times call him Barak instead of Brock. While he WASN'T named after the President, I calmly say no, he was born before I even knew who Barak Obama was. So, don't get angry. It will only give you a great deal of stress.

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Does your daughter complain about it? How do you know that they are doing it - because she tells you, or because someone else does?

Their excuse that it's her fault for writing Elliana instead of Elli is totally ridiculous. Either way, they are calling her Elena which is neither what she says nor what she writes.

If your daughter cares, teach her to politely correct them every time. Soon enough, they will get it through their thick heads. I don't think any more emails or letters from you will make a difference. Maybe they need to hear you say it out loud.

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Can you teach your daughter to say, when her name is mispronounced, "My name is Eh-lee-ah-nah"?

The teachers are grown-ups, and even though they have many classes to teach (particularly in specials!) they can learn the names of their students, I should think. For that purpose alone you might decide to stick with Elliana this year both in speaking and in writing. Elli is a cute nickname but maybe that's for another year (and another teacher).

My last name is one the spelling of which makes sense once you hear it, but on first sight makes people think, "Huh?" So I've been correcting people for, um, forty years. My children had to learn how to correct, too. So it goes.

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I grew up with a very unusual name in the days of jennifers, michelles, tiffannys, and amys.

I had teachers who saw me everyday for whole school years call me by the wrong name...they never got it right...not once...and after the tenth or so time of correcting them...I felt embarrassed for them and never would correct them again. My 11th grade math teacher called me Miss (Last Name) all year.

My name is said just like it is spelled...but everyone wants to add syllables and vowels, etc etc...

I also taught school and had 125+ names to remember each year, plus all the previous years students, and the previous years...I went out of my way to write out their name phonetically on my seating chart and work super hard to remember them...but I had the past of my own unusual name.

Just let her get used to it...she has 13 more years of school to fight this battle...oh, my kids have very common names, spelled the common way...

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I wouldn't get too worked up on this to be honest unless it bothers your daughter. Is she coming home upset b/c they are calling her the wrong name or are you asking her about it? If it bothers her, tell her to repeat it correctly every time the teacher mispronounces it. I would also have a one time conversation we each teacher personally (not through another teacher) about it bothering your daughter and that you've given her permission to reminded them how to say her name. I think it probably goes without saying that these teachers have tons of students so try to work with them. Also the pronunciation may seem like common sense for your, but just by looking at the spelling of your daughter's name I can think of several ways it could be pronounced. Of coarse, not all of them are phonetically correct, but a lot of names aren't pronounced phonetically at all. I have 3 friends all names Tara and all three are pronounced differently. I do understand b/c you named her what you want her to be called, so it's frustrating, but like you said, you have to pick your battles so if it bothers her, then take some action, but if it only bothers you, let it go. It is a very pretty name. Good Luck!

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What a beautiful name......my daughter's name is Ellianna. :)

I think your being too picky. My daughter also gets called Elena sometimes, too. It is kind of annoying, but in reality lots of people/kids get their names pronounced wrong. So I don't fret too much. My daughter also goes by Elli. My daughter has no problem correcting whomever it is. In fact she told me that another student spoke up and corrected for her. (And come to think of it, I think it was her art teacher too.) Tell your daughter to speak up or just have her write Elli if it bothers her. Otherwise just let it go.

Edit to Add:

Maybe picky wasn't the right word, but, two letters and email over a mispronunciation is excessive. Like I said names are mispronounced all the time. Her daughter is going to have to learn how to accept it or deal with it.

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I'd want them to call her by her name. Period. But I'm a bit helicopter too... lol

I think they are saying Elena because they are (somewhat dyslexically) seeing her name as Ellaina - which would be the same pronounciation as Elena. Whatever the case is, though, I'd want them to call her by her name.

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I would tell her to write her name however she wants (let teacher know that), and have her politely correct any teacher that mispronounces her name, even if she must do so over, and over. My son's name is Rayne, pronounced rain. I do not see this as difficult, yet all last year at his pre-school the sign up sheet said Rayn, and they kept calling him Ryan. It took me almost a year of correcting the sheet for the office to finally get it right. Luckily the room teachers said it correctly. I do not think it is to much to ask for her teachers to learn her name, even if it is only once a week that she sees them.

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Don't have any advice except to tell you that my name was always mispronounced as a child and it never really got to me. Seems pretty basic L. said Lee-ah. But because of that damn Star Wars adults always called me Lay-ah. After 3rd grade I didn't even notice it anymore. In fact the JP at my wedding said Lay-ah and I never even noticed, yet my friends and family were outraged. Teach your daughter to correct adults when they mispronounce her name. Eventually they will catch on.

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I have a similar issue...my name is sometimes pronounced wrong..but ALWAYS spelled wrong (I am N....not Nicole...no E). And I learned very early...kindergarten actually..to speak up and say my name is not "Nickle" (as in the first part of Nicholas, as it looks to be spelled)..and to correct people when it is spelled wrong. It always is on school papers (even on my transcripts is was and recently, as a 40 year old college graduate, they had to do last minute changes to the graduation programs and I triple checked to be sure it would be right on my diploma!).

I am just not sure how, in this day and age, with so many foreign names, this gets by? At my recent graduation ceremonies (last spring) they had a whole entire team of people just to get the pronunciations correct. Do we just let it slide until graduation? If it were a foreign type name..there would be alot of hoop-la raised I am certain???!! JMO~

My advice...empower her now, as others said. A very young child can respectfully correct adults in something such as this. I actually got in trouble once, however.. 4th grade. Had a nasty, very old fashioned, elderly nun for a teacher. She refused to both pronounce and spell my name correct. So I chose to ignore her until she said it right. If she called on me, I pretended she didn't say anything. I spent alot of time in the principals office for a few days until my plight was understood. Luckily a truce occured..then school was out a few weeks later! Whew~

Good luck!

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If it were me, I'd fight the battle. It's not too much to ask a teacher to correctly pronounce a student's name, or names! So she has a nick name--the teachers should learn that too. I think they're just making excuses for themselves. You should hold them to a higher standard, even if it means taking it to a higher authority. Imagine how silly they'll feel if they have to explain to the principal why they couldn't be bothered with--ahem, LEARNING to correctly pronounce a student's name. Way to make the student feel unimportant.

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There is nothing we can do, she is going to have this issue where ever she goes and if it bothers her she needs to speak up. My son is 4 and his name is Dylan (Prenounced Dillon) and people call him Dill for short. He flips out ans sayes" MY NAME IS DYLAN , I AM NOT A PICKLE!!! My neighbors son is Nicholas and he gets call Nicki and he sayes at 3 yrs old that is not my name I am Nick. Encourage her to speak up for herself.

I am sorry there is not an easier answer but unfortantly this is one of those things mom cannot fix. Sorry.

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We all get our names mispelled or mispronounced our entire life. I think it's quite unprofessional of teachers to do this, and voicing your concern about it to the teacher is plenty acceptable BUT also explaining to your daughter that some people are just really bad with names and she needs to learn that every now and then her ears need to perk to something that is similar yet not quite her name on occasion.
My name is T.. I've had it spelled a zillion different ways... cant sweat the small stuff, there are much bigger fish to fry in this society we live in.
Drop the sensitivities that you can, and fight for the important issues.

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if it doesnt bother your daughter to be called by the nickname id go with that, but if your daughter wants to be called by her full name, SHE could correct them when they say it wrong. It might mean more coming from a 5 year old. My daughters name Is Gwendolynn, and sometimes we call her Gwen, but when people call her "Wendy" she speaks up, she loves her name and hates that name. They never tried it again. People have a right to their name. If it bothers you and your daughter then i would correct it not worrying about what they thought. Its part of her identity and those teachers really should be learning and remember ing ALL the students names and if a nickname or mispronunciation presents itself and is disliked it should not be repeated. Otherwise its just disrespectful.

I guess I have alot to say on the subject, My name is A. and i hate the name "mandy" it just doesnt fit me, and i have been lettingpeople know this my entire life.

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I taught our son from the start to repeat his name when he heard it pronounced wrong. Because though I think Kieran is a perfectly normal name and easy-to-pronounce....So many people just blink and freeze up when they see it and then blurt out "Karen?".

Teach your daughter now to correct her teachers politely because with such a lovely unique name...It is something she will probably hafta do for years to come. She'll figure it out mom! = )

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I think it is up to her what she writes on her paper, but let her know that if she writes Elli, she is more likely to have it pronounced correctly. It seems like it is bothering her that they are pronouncing it incorrectly. When they say the wrong name, is she correcting them? Or telling them that they can just call her Elli? My daughter's name seems to cause major issues in people pronouncing it. For now, she is 5 mo, we are using her nickname until she can correct people herself.

This is coming from someone who has always had her name pronounced incorrectly. When I was 5, I corrected my dentist (my mom has the same name and he had gotten it wrong for 30 years), and he got it right after that - my mom was still mispronounced. It can help give her pride in her name, but make sure that she knows that she can correct them, politely.

I think it is a sign of disrespect that they aren't making an effort to know how to say it. I never minded when someone prefaced it with, "Am I saying it right?", but to not even try is rude.

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Hi - my name is T. - Tanya spelled with a J, pronounce Tawn-Ya. I have been called wrong all of my life - it will never change. Sorry. But your 5 year old can correct her teachers too. I always did. Now that I'm in my early 30's....my friends call me all kinds a weird combos with my name. I learned to let it go.....with a smile. That's the problem with different spellings of names...the reason why mine is the way it is - is because I was born in a different country and that's how they spelled it over there - not in America.

So - with your DD name - if she wants to be called Elli - she should write it - if she wants to be called her full name - then she needs to continue writing it and then correct her teachers - she corrects her friends right? So what is the difference? Also - I like the comment that you could go down yourself and talk with the teachers too. Good luck - just be prepared - it's going to be this way for a long long long time.....

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I have a had my first and last name mispronounced my whole life! Now granted my last name is VERY unusual, so I understand that one (I am 33 years old and have only had 1 person in my whole life pronounce it correctly)....however, my first name is easy....KARMA...very easy...but teachers always called me Carmen?

It is very frustrating...I had to correct a co-worker just last week...but it is what it is?!

If I were you I would just have her write Elli...it will take out the possibility of mispronunciation and might even keep her real name special?

Love her name, by the way....very pretty and NOT at all hard to pronounce:)

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My advice, get use to it, and let it go. My name is D., and still to this day everyone I met calls me Diane, I've even got emails that say Diane! I also have been called by my sister and even my mom's name before. I even had one teacher who called me Dana. My name isn't even that unusual! It usually takes multiple corrections or flat out telling people I hate being called Diane before they get it right.

It still is a new year, and if they only see her once a week it might just take time. But If everyone calls her Elli then just have her write that. It would make it easier on everyone. Plus prepare yourself and her because you will probably experience this problem again and again.

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My daughter's name is mispronounced all the time by her 'specials' teachers. I just taught her to roll with it and correct them when she feels like it. It is a similar thing, just missing an 'i' in her name. I try to teach my kids, #1- to stand up for themselves when they feel the need, I can't always be there. #2- there are things we should worry about, and things we should let go.
I understand you took the time to pick the name, and, it is hard. But, she is old enough to learn to stick up for herself if she feels she should. Just have her politely keep correcting them, and they will get it eventually. Personally, I think my daughter's name is beautiful, and, she is the only one I've ever met with her name. But, she's so cooky, that she just corrects them with a laugh. She's in first grade now. Most have gotten it, some still mess up. She just is like, "mom, they did it again." No big deal.
Now, should she have to shorten her name when she writes it, maybe a week or two, to help them remember, only if she wants to. But, other than that, her repeating it back to them correctly when they say it wrong should help.
I'm a dance teacher and see most of my students only once a week. I'm sure I've butchered some names, they just usually correct me and move on, but, I eventually get them right!

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She should be able to correct them on her own if it bothers her. She can politely say, "Elliana" when they call her Elena - or maybe she should just not answer to Elena, it's not her name so they shouldn't get mad right? LOL ~ I don't see any problem with her correcting them if they are saying her name wrong. I had a teacher in high school that called me by my middle name all year long. It didn't bother me, I corrected him a couple of time, but because my whole name was on the role sheet, he called me my middle name. It actually became a big joke with all the kids in the class the whole year that he couldn't get my name right. It took me a little bit to learn to answer to my middle name, but it wasn't THAT big of a deal to me so I just let it go. I guess it kind of depends on how big of a deal it is to your daughter. She is going to find that names often get mispronouced. My name is J. - but I get Janie, Jeanne, Janice?? (like they think I put an N instead of C??? and don't know how to spell my name???) people are just funny. I wouldn't spend too much time worrying about it.

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first decide what name you want her to be called (elliana or elli)? then stick with that one. they should know her name.
my kdis have different names too, and it takes a while for others to learn their names but we don't back down. those are their names.

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People say my daughter's name incorrectly all the time. I think it's simple. it's Kaelyn. So basically Katelynn without the "T". We tell people all the time how to say it and she is just now, at the age of 7 and in 2nd grade, getting the courage to tell people they are saying it wrong. Kindergarteners are usually trying to get used to the newness of school and everything else. If they are still saying it wrong, maybe you can go in and talk to them. It's not a hard name to say, it's beautiful!! And she needs to learn to write her full name, so why tell her to only learn to write her nickname? I'd try to encourage her to speak up, but also help her at this age.

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I made up my daughters name and people mispronounce it at first but get it after a couple corrections. Why don't you just go to the school and meet with the teachers and talk to them. That way it will personally stick in their heads that they need to get her name right!!!! Good luck!!!

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I think you are making a bigger deal out of it than you should. People have messed up my name for years and I just leave it as them being ignorant. We grew up with "pet" names and nick names that was totally off. If you push the issue too much it can cause more problems than what its worth. Your daughter knows what her name is and can spell and pronounce it, so that is what is important. You are annoyed, but you can't really force people to call it the way you want it to be called. If she chose to write Elli, then let it be so. I am sure if you push it, they will probably call her Elena just to push your button, so let it go. There are more important things to worry about besides that, such as those two teachers not giving her a bad grade for it!

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I think that's ridiculous that the teachers are not pronouncing her name correctly. It's sounds like it's not the first time it's been brought to their attention and it's not a hard name to pronounce anyway!

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I think that she should be able to write her full name on her papers. It's not like there are a bunch of other girls in the same class with her name. My daughter is in first grade and I think that your level of concern and involvement seem appropriate :)
A friend of mine (in our 20's) picked up a second job a while back. Her legal name is Barbara but she likes to go by Barbie. Her boss would not allow her to have "Barbie" on her name tag or go by Barbie. She was told that she had to use Barbara. After a heated argument with her boss, Barbie quit right then and there.
I guess that my point is that we are free to choose what we are called by others.

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you are NOT being too picky!!!! Your child's name is her name and not any other name or else you would have chosen a different name for her (did that make sense?? LOL) Although I do agree with what others have said that your daughter is the one who should be doing the correcting at this point. If she likes to be called Elli, that's one thing, but if she prefers her full name, then you should teach her how to (nicely but firmly!) remind her teachers how to pronounce it. I think that not bothering to learn your daughter's name, or wanting to shorten it for convenience's sake, is just laziness on their part. Teachers should be respectful of how children wish to be addressed, and I don't think using their correct name is asking too much!

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Beautiful name... I love it too and agree with Denise- have your daughter speak up. Not disrespectfully but still make it clear. If they can't remember to call her Ellie- then they should caller her Elliana.
Good luck though my youngest daughters name is Kaylyn but many people -including teachers and other students call her kaTelin. I can understand kids but really it isn't that hard to read....