Teacher Wants to Do a Focus Chart... I Am a Bit Concerned..

Updated on November 18, 2014
L.O. asks from Sterling Heights, MI
31 answers

as per the recent report card and teacher conferences.. my 3rd grade daughter is easily distractable and having a hard time focusing in class. The teacher came up with a plan to put a sheet of paper on her desk.. and give her tally mark every time she is not focusing.. the teacher showed me the chart yesterday afternoon.. At first I thought it was ok.. but now I really think it is going to freak my child out.. I was thinking if my boss put such a chart on my desk at work and if he came by and I was not 100% focused on work.. I would get a tally mark.. and some perceived punishment later.

I am thinking this will just raise her anxiety level and not help her to focus on anything except not getting caught not focusing..

-- background... I looked at all of her previous report cards for teacher comments.. every teacher said she works slowly but gets her work done. this is the first time a teacher has had a big concern over this.

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K.G.

answers from San Diego on

No, I do not like it. I have a 3rd grader as well and this does not seem like positive reinforcement.

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D..

answers from Miami on

I don't like this idea at all. It sounds punative. It would be better if she got marks for paying attention tied to a token economy system.

If I were you, I'd be in the guidance counselor's office so fast it would make the teacher's head spin.

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H.W.

answers from Portland on

Hi there L.,

I want to share some thoughts with you, as the mother of a similarly-inclined 2nd grade boy. I'll also share a great resource which our son's teacher offered to us and is using at the school; I hope you will find this constructive and share this with the teacher.

First, this might sound a bit stern, but I am NOT in favor of protecting our kids from having 'bad' feelings which might, in the long run, be very instructive. My son has a hard time sitting down and 'focusing' and we've made it clear to him that while this is hard for him, learning how to stay on task at school is an important skill.He needs to be aware that this is something he must work on.

Now, for the resource: Kiddo's teacher is great and gave us a sheet for becoming aware of "Learning Behaviors". This sheet can be cut into slips the teacher can hand to students as needed. There are three columns: self assess (blank) and adult assess (blank) -- these blank spaces flank a set of questions. "Did I.... 1. ... start right away? ; 2. ... stay in one spot?; 3.... work the whole time?; 4..... use a quiet voice?"

These identified learning behaviors give both the observing adult and student very concrete goals to focus on. As the teacher and adult observe the student, these four areas mean that we aren't finding umpteen things to criticize but are just focusing on very helpful practices. These also help the student to become aware of the importance of these practices without *just* having the information of "I'm not focusing" -- which is informative, true, but less helpful. The self-assessment and adult assessment also helps both persons to get an idea of what the other is seeing/experiencing.

I hope that this is something which might help. Personally, I like the simplicity of it and that I could use it at home during homework time. The conversations around this are equally focused on strengths and areas where there are still challenges and "what do you think might help?" so that the student can come up with their own solutions, which empowers them.

Here's also a link you might share with the teacher.
http://www.interventioncentral.org/self_management_self_m...

Overall, we really do need to be realistic in giving our kids A. concrete goals; B. Balanced feedback and C. the opportunity to self-assess and to find their own solutions to try for themselves. Often, kids can hold some powerful answers to their problem within, we just need to let them figure out if those ideas are viable or if they need to focus on another intervention.

Good luck going forward. It sounds like your teacher very much cares about helping your daughter strengthen her learning behaviors so that she will be ready for fourth grade, when learning ramps up exponentially. That's a blessing, you know, having a teacher who is involved. I hope this information can help steer the conversation in a more constructive direction.

14 moms found this helpful

J.S.

answers from St. Louis on

It will only freak her out if you freak her out. We tried all kinds of stuff with my youngest. It was always presented to her, they have this idea, lets try it out. If you present it with anxiety she will feel it and even if it was the best idea ever it will not work.

The idea is not to find ways to punish your daughter. The idea is to find what it takes for her to motivate herself.

You look at works slowly but gets it done and not seeing, how much longer than the other kids. Add to that it is now 3rd grade and she hasn't matured to the point where she can structure herself better and she is being given more work, of course it is now a concern.

In my opinion she is going to have more anxiety when she is constantly face with getting her work done well after everyone else.
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Okay looking at some of these newer responses, her daughter is having trouble being aware when she is drifting off. I am not sure why everyone wants to call this negative reinforcement. They call this prompting and it is a big part of just about every IEP for kids with ADHD.

Her daughter will not want a tally mark, she will start paying attention to the teacher, it will hit a point where she will notice the teacher look her way and bring herself back into focus. If it works, and it doesn't always but it has a much better chance of success than making the teacher notice the exact moment she is focusing and then praising her like a toddler.

Although my youngest is also on meds prompting has helped her pay attention to when she is drifting. I do not allow her to be on a high level of meds so a lot of her structure is self imposed.

Please listen to those that work with your daughter and not the women here. Yeah I know that includes me. It is just someone telling you oh your daughter shouldn't be treated that way, positive reinforcement is better, the teacher should be more stimulating, isn't going to help your daughter. It is just enabling your fears and that isn't going to make anything better.

What will help your daughter is professionals that know your daughter. My youngest is now 13 and looking at some of the top all girl schools in the city for high school. I can promise you she wouldn't be in this place if I listened to the advice some give on this board.
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Last edit I promise, are all of you getting hung up on this? "I would get a tally mark.. and some perceived punishment later." That is the OP's feelings if this happened at work, a punishment is not part of the behavior modification.

A prompt is just something the other kids won't notice that says I just noticed you floated away. Teacher puts a tally mark, no attention drawn, and moving on. I would go ask my daughter what prompt they used with her but it was such a non issue she doesn't remember.

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S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

why not give it a shot? yes yes yes, positive reinforcement is better than negative blah blah blah, but it's not like she's suggesting your child be publicly humiliated or sent to the office or lose privileges. it's just a chart that will give her a visual reinforcement of behavior lapses. geez.
our teachers have very, very limited resources these days, and an unending slew of behavior problems to deal with. unless you have a viable counter-suggestion, why not at least let her try it?
khairete
S.

9 moms found this helpful

T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

More than once over the years I have been surprised when a classroom method I certainly would never use actually worked.
Why not let her give it a try? She is a trained professional after all. If it doesn't work then she'll try something else.
Teachers are like parents, they have many tools in their toolbox, they know different methods work for different kids, and they adjust accordingly.
Education is a process after all, helping your daughter stay focused and on task will take time, practice and patience.

8 moms found this helpful

D.B.

answers from Boston on

I've rarely seen this to be successful. Sometimes teachers will have a little private "code" with a child, such as putting a hand on the shoulder or some other non-touch signal that says, "Redirect yourself." I would think a positive approach would be better with a tally sheet or sticker chart - but I can tell you a sticker chart is very time consuming if a teacher is doing that for 20 or 24 kids.

I'd ask the teacher how she has used this technique in the past to successfully motivate students, and how it differs from a positive reinforcement system or chart. Try to do that without criticism in your voice - that's hard to do, but it's a good way to start. Try to get a sense of how many years the teacher has been teaching and how often she's used this technique, what percentage of her prior classes used that (rather than asking specifically how many kids in the current class do, which raises the confidentiality issue). But it's worth finding out if your daughter is the ONLY one with this system.

I'm baffled by the kickback comment below about referrals to a pediatrician (doesn't every child already have one?) and the pharmaceutical companies. We can get into a worthy debate about big pharma giving all kinds of perks to physicians, and about meds in general. But most teachers I know are struggling with a 2nd job because they aren't paid enough. If they got a bonus for every child on medications, they'd be on easy street. In my years of teaching, I never ever saw a pharma rep in a school or knew of any teacher approached by one. In fact, the meds cause as much problem for teachers as the lack of meds does!

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A.J.

answers from Williamsport on

I think it's a good idea and not traumatic. Let her try it. Worst case scenario it won't help. But it certainly won't scar your child in any way.

I never used any charts with my kids at home. However, they each have them in school (kinder, 1st, and 3rd) and they REALLY respond!! Something about the negative marks (moving DOWN the chart in their case) really deters kids from bad behavior. HOWEVER, they are equally excited to get good marks and move UP the chart. There isn't any punishment (unless they get several super bad days in a row then they lose recess, but that hasn't happened to my kids) or reward, but my kids LOVE jumping off the bus and telling me where they landed on the chart. If they had a good week we go get frozen yogurt or something. So far that's been every week!!
I think the negative tallies are fine as long as she also gets positive ones.

As for the past being slow and no one minding: No harm in her improving the behavior now.

***Just read the responses below. I agree there needs to be positive incentive as well as negative. BUT. Positivity ONLY does not work at all. Praising her when she's doing well doesn't help when she's not. I'm sure the teacher is pleasant and positive most of the time, but your daughter still has this issue. Both negative and positive reactions are necessary.

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R.B.

answers from San Francisco on

No, that is not going to help her focus. Engaging assignments is what helps kids focus. Gee, what a way to make school fun -- noting ever time you do something wrong. Your boss analogy is right on.

The teacher is probably just trying to come up with solutions, but this is a bad one. Maybe the teacher is never heard of the "catch them doing right" philosophy, that works much better than the opposite: "I like the way Sally is focusing right now!"

ETA - Reading below -- It seems like somehow this technique works, but I still think that it's more productive to reward positive behavior.

6 moms found this helpful

T.F.

answers from Dallas on

I understand your concern, however, as someone who has been in the classroom 14 yrs as a regular substitute in various grades levels k-5, this is something we use a lot. It works!

In my experience, it helps the children and I have not seen any child get hyped up over it. It is not a punishment, it is a tool to help them.

It is good that your daughter does get her work done, eventually. I had one little girl in 1st grade that sat inside EVERY DAY for recess to work on her work completion because she was a slow worker and bless her heart, she wanted to help everyone in the class and she just had trouble focusing on her own work which in the end was quality work. I'll add that she was and still is in the PACE program as well. She is in 4th grade now and doing much better about getting her assignments completed in a timely manner.

As your daughter moves up the ladder in grade levels, she will not have the extra time to do her work and it is important for her to focus on what is going on in the classroom. This is 3rd grade which is different because the teachers are trying to get the students ready for higher level thinking and working. As she moves up grade levels, there will be assignments that are timed and graded, she needs to learn how to manage her time so she completes her work and does not lose grading points because she is simply not finished.

Please don't take it personally or emotionally. Many students use charts of all kinds for all kinds of reasons and they help. Some students have charts that go to each class with them throughout the day, some students just have the chart taped to the desk in the homeroom. I say whatever works to help a child get pointed in the right direction so that he/she can be a success in school.

My daughter is in her 2nd year of college and on the dean's list. She is adamant about her grades, always has been, and this year there is a class that is really hard for her. Most of the time, her A's come pretty naturally with normal amount of preparation but this one is a doozy. When they have quizzes, they are timed. They have an essay plus a series of questions. She has learned to allot a specific amount of time for the essay and for the questions. When she got that worked out, things are much better and she gets everything finished on time and quality work.

Time management is important to learn as a student because it is something you use all your life.

Best wishes with your daughter.. She'll be ok.. Support her and give the chart a try.

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L.U.

answers from Seattle on

What if the teacher did the chart differently? Tally mark for every time she IS paying attention.

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W.W.

answers from Washington DC on

L.,

I would be concerned as well. Especially with the push to give kids a POSITIVE approach to school...how is **THIS** going to benefit your daughter??

I would ask if my child can change teachers...
I would ask what the teacher is doing to keep my daughter's attention
I would ask what the teacher is going to do with that tally sheet at the end of the day

No. this would NOT work for me. I would NOT support this.

Talk with your child. Find out what is distracting her - is it before lunch...after lunch?? WHEN is this happening?? If it's happening all day? Maybe the teacher sucks and needs to learn how to engage the kids and find out what makes them "tick"...

5 moms found this helpful

L.A.

answers from Austin on

Make sure you have her eyes and ears tested. It was 3rd grade when we realized I then needed glasses. I had not realized that my eyesight had changed.

If YOU have a good attitude about this, so will your daughter.

If you really feel like you have tried everything and it is still not working, allow the the teacher (who spends the most awake time with your daughter) to at least try it.

Teachers WANT children to succeed. They WANT children to be successful. They are trained professionals, but you will need to trust her.

Your daughter is struggling. I recall really wanting to be able to finish my work in class, but I just could never focus. I would miss huge portions of instruction because my mind would wander. I just did not have the skills to over come it.

I always wondered, why is it it everyone else is able to follow along and then get straight to work? It took me a long time to finally mature enough to control myself. I wish it had been something that could have been identified earlier. I was just told to "pay attention" no suggestions on how exactly that works.

You can explain to your daughter that the teacher has thought up a way to help daughter be able to focus like her classmates and you know she is going to do great. Be positive about it and she will believe you and really try. Then keep in communication with the teacher and when daughter has a good day, give her high fives and tell her, you knew she could do it!

When she is with you, make a big deal when she pays attention and stays focused.

"I like how you listened to what I said."

" I appreciate when you pay attention."

"It helps when you look at me when I am speaking, because I noticed you remember what I said better."

And mom, you and dad model these behaviors with each other. When possible look at the person when they speak. Maybe even repeat important portions of what has been said, back to them. Yes, it will feel staged, but your daughter will begin to learn this skill of listening, noticing and paying more attention for a longer time.

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B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

Being distracted is going to become a bigger problem the longer it goes on.
It's going to have more of an impact on her grades.
The pace really picks up in 4th grade - your daughter needs to be ready for it.

Bosses generally don't care about distracted unless it impacts the work - if the work is getting done (at work or at school) - that's what matters.
So - I would be addressing the distractedness and doing what I could to help her concentrate in the classroom.

Try the chart - see if it helps - it might or might not.
If it works - Great! Problem solved!
If it doesn't work - you and the teacher and your daughter need to find something that WILL work.

Stay focused on getting this solved (this is no time for YOU to get distracted).
Solving it will ultimately help your daughter be happier about school and she won't be floundering.

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E.A.

answers from Erie on

I agree that it should be positive reinforcement, not negative. That said I hate charts, I especially find behavior charts like this deplorable and all of my kids were in a grade school that did not use them and they are all very well behaved. A couple of them did have issues with attention (one has IADD but does brilliantly when he can work with his hands) or reactionary behavior due to a variety of issues including medical ones (encopresis, dyslexia). No charts, just behavioral accommodations and positive reinforcement.

Punishment has it's place, but your child isn't hurting anyone, which is the only time I find that kind of discipline to be necessary. I would get together with the teacher and brainstorm better ideas than this one.

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M.W.

answers from San Francisco on

I believe the teacher is going about it all wrong. I believe this will backfire.

She should put a sticker on the chart when she notices your daughter is focusing. That will encourage the behavior that is desired.

In my years of teaching,training and raising kids...focusing on the desired behavior and rewarding it fares better than focusing on the undesirable behavior and punishing it.

I say no chart at all if she won't consider flipping it to the positive behavior chart.

Try looking into ways you can help your child focus at home. Talk to a child behaviorist. Consider enrolling your daughter in a martial art. These all helped when our son was very young and a teacher brought up testing and ADD. We didn't do the testing but instead focused on what I mentioned.

Our son improved by leaps and bounds and the teacher asked what we were doing to have caused such huge improvements. It was all in our approach and helping our son with the desired behavior we were wanting. Not punishing him for just being him without giving him the tools of how to improve.

I wish you the best!!

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E.T.

answers from Rochester on

Ask her if you can switch it up and have her put a tally mark on the paper when she IS focused. Kids respond much better to positive feedback than they do to negative.

I would also ask her if she could give you specific documentation about what she is noticing in the classroom and when she is noticing it (time of day, type of activity, academic area in which it is happening, independent work or group work, etc.). That will be necessary information to have if you do persue a physical with her doctor or evaluation with a child psychologist. If your child is evaluated, it is the kind of information the teacher will need to provide anyways. I've done it many times.

Despite what someone suggested, teachers do not get kickbacks from pharmaceutical companies or doctors or anyone else. In my 20+ years in education I have never seen or heard of a teacher getting paid for referring any student for medical referrals. My husband has been in the pharmacy field for 25 years and has never heard of teachers getting kickbacks. I have a family member who worked for a pharmaceutical company for years. They don't talk to teachers. Data privacy laws do not allow doctors to share information with teachers and visa versa without parental permission. Lots of people would lose their jobs if that was really happening. That is a ridiculous accusation. In our district just accepting a Christmas gift from a parent valued over $25.00 can get us in trouble. Teachers aren't going to take that risk. Seriously.

As I mentioned in my response to your last question, the teacher has your child's best interests in mind. I think her idea for the chart is maybe misguided. But, I don't think she is "going after" your daughter. She has noticed a trend, and she wants to help. Work with her, not against her. Working against her is not going to help your daughter at all. The more parents and teachers work as a team, the more your child benefits. I know it is hard, but try not to be defensive. That won't help your daughter. If the relationship between you and the teacher is tense, your daughter will pick up on that and it will not help her.

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M.R.

answers from Washington DC on

I agree with those below that this is negative, not positive. How experienced is this teacher? I can't see a really experienced teacher doing this for several reasons. Is the teacher doing this because she's done it before with success? If so, I'd ask her to detail that for me. If she's creating it new just now, I'd want to know about these issues:

From what you write, the teacher would put down a mark when she believes your daughter is not focusing. But...what happens then? Does the teacher have a plan in place for the consequences of those marks? Does your daughter get, say two "warning" marks a day but a third one means....what exactly? The teacher sends a note home after three marks? Or takes away something at school like a coveted classroom job or...what? It's very murky to me how this does any good unless there is a clear-cut process that it triggers, and your child knows EXACTLY what it all means. Just giving the marks means pretty much nothing except that your child will feel worse and worse with each mark, and could eventually figure, "I'm doing so badly it just doesn't matter any more."

That's why this seems like a poorly thought out plan if it's just marks. And even if the teacher ties a certain number of marks to a certain consequence -- what then? It's still negative. The teacher should catch your child doing well, instead.

The risk here is that your girl will indeed focus -- on the chart, not on schoolwork.

This will also single out your girl. Other kids are going to ask her why there's this thing in view on her desk and hers alone, not theirs, and the teacher is writing on it. The idea mentioned below of a signal that only the teacher and your daughter know, to redirect your girl, such as a hand on a shoulder or a quietly spoken "Focus" said in her ear -- that would be much preferable to a sheet on her desk that every kid will see, and some kids may get too inquisitive about. Imagine your child having to explain it to her peers. It will only make her focus on the tally sheet and her own embarrassment -- NOT on schoolwork.

The idea below about small slips the teacher can hand to a child is also great and preferable to a tally sheet that sits out on the desk all day long.

Involve the counselor pronto if the teacher pushes for this. Actually, involve the counselor anyway, now; this is why the counselor is there, and it's good to have a third party besides you and the teacher involved. I would want to work with the counselor and teacher on a positive and far more subtle system between the teacher and your child such as the slips and/or signals. The counselor may have worked with exactly this issue and may have ideas that the teacher and you don't have!

And if you feel the teacher is over-emphasizing the lack of focus, request that your child be observed by someone else in the classroom. If these problems got worse just this school year, could there be something going on in that particular classroom that's different from past years? More kids, more disruptive kids in the mix, harder work that's suddenly slamming her (third grade is a jump from second, I think, for most kids), a teaching style that's quite different from previous teachers she's had?....All are worth thinking about, if this is a change from mostly being a slow worker to being very distracted and unfocused rather suddenly.

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C.T.

answers from Santa Fe on

Nope. This teacher is focusing on the wrong thing. Talk to the teacher about rewarding the positive instead. Put a paper in front of her and every time the teacher notices that she is focusing she gets a gold star. At the end of the day your daughter can count up her stars!

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G.D.

answers from Detroit on

I agree that you should approach this in a positive manner. If you don't want to try this method then let the teacher know that you have some concerns you'd like to discuss in private. Another method that is popular in our schools is a check in/check out sheet. There are goals (in this case focus) and the child is rated 0,1,or2 for that day/class. There's no punishment. There is room for both the teacher/parent to write comments. Parent signs it and sends it back. My approach to this is 'I know you've been working h*** o* *goal* it looks like you had a rough day. Did anything happen? Or good job today!! That sort of thing. (this is used for my 4th grader-but he did it in 3rd too) This is saved in the file and can be referenced if you decide to seek a 504 or IEP in the future.
If your child is having anxiety about school are you seeking help? Don't fret about diagnosis or medicine. I have a 3rd grader who sees a therapist about her anxiety and it's really helped her. The therapist has a better way of explaining things to her and has helped me understand how to approach topics in a better way.

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E.B.

answers from Denver on

I would ask for specifics. It's so easy to throw around words like "distractable" and "focus". I would ask the teacher to describe what's happening in detail. For example:

Does your daughter appear to not pay attention when the teacher is reading or teaching? When your daughter is supposed to be doing a math worksheet or reading silently, does she just not progress along the page (example: after 5 minutes she is still on the same problem or page even though she's perfectly able to solve the problem or read the words)? Does she gaze out the window or fiddle with a pencil or another object? Is she able to answer questions with the correct answer even if it seemed like she wasn't focusing on what the teacher was saying, or does she get caught totally off guard when asked a question? Does she appear tired after lunch, or only lose focus during certain times of the day or during certain subjects such as math?

Is this supposed lack of focus reflected in your daughter's grades and test scores? Sometimes, it seems as though a child is not paying attention, when they actually are. And the most attentive-appearing child can be day dreaming and not have a clue what's going on around him or her.

What do you notice at home? Does your daughter do homework, or stay engaged in a movie? If you tell her to do a chore, can she remember what the task is and complete it?

Just a few things to consider before tally marks for not focusing (which really sounds counter-productive - like many others said, positive reinforcement sounds a lot more helpful).

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L.Z.

answers from Seattle on

Have the teacher reverse her thinking and make a mark when your daughter IS focusing. Maybe even a small star...positive energy is always more motivating.

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M.L.

answers from Cleveland on

Hmm...first what a lot of work for the teacher. She sounds like she really cares about your dd and wants to help.

Do u have a better idea? Something that works at home. Say if you ask your dd to unload the dish washer. And after 2 dishes she is off dancing around the living room whatvdobubdo? And if you had a class of 18 kids on task and your dd was off dancing or over at the window dreaming. What would u like the teacher to do? Is holding her in at recess or sending everything home as extra work an acceptable option? Would they allow u to observe in the class?...

What I prose is that for one week the teacher keep the checklist in a clip board and with out showing you dd the teacher should tally all the off task behaviors... then send that home to u or u go in and meet. Then if it's every 5 mins...call Ur Dr and set up an appointment like people have been telling you since u started asking about this... if it's every 15 then try having the tally sheet on dd desk like the teacher originally suggested. It seems like a quiet subtle way to redirect your dd with out embarrassing her.

Updated

Hmm...first what a lot of work for the teacher. She sounds like she really cares about your dd and wants to help.

Do u have a better idea? Something that works at home. Say if you ask your dd to unload the dish washer. And after 2 dishes she is off dancing around the living room whatvdobubdo? And if you had a class of 18 kids on task and your dd was off dancing or over at the window dreaming. What would u like the teacher to do? Is holding her in at recess or sending everything home as extra work an acceptable option? Would they allow u to observe in the class?...

What I prose is that for one week the teacher keep the checklist in a clip board and with out showing you dd the teacher should tally all the off task behaviors... then send that home to u or u go in and meet. Then if it's every 5 mins...call Ur Dr and set up an appointment like people have been telling you since u started asking about this... if it's every 15 then try having the tally sheet on dd desk like the teacher originally suggested. It seems like a quiet subtle way to redirect your dd with out embarrassing her.

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H.G.

answers from San Francisco on

Your gut is right. How disrespectful! Children should be treated as we wish to be treated.

This teacher needs some basic classes in psychology and learning theory. She sounds dreadful!

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I'd tell the teacher that this isn't something you're going to allow her to do. It's her job to make the material interesting. If she's getting the work done in time, by the time the rest of the class is done, then it's not a problem unless she's distracting others.

ALL people respond to things that make them feel good about themselves. Not things that make them feel bad about themselves.

I'd tell the teacher that a sticker chart where she gets a sticker when she gets her work done would be more effective.

If the whole class has 15 minutes to finish a paper she can get 1 sticker for completing her work in that 15 minutes. If she gets it done in 10 minutes she gets 2 stickers, 5 minutes would be 3 stickers.

When a sticker chart is completed she gets a reward from the teacher, maybe a treasure chest or to do something she really likes to do.

I do think the teacher is the one that needs to work on this, if your daughter has trouble paying attention she won't likely remember long enough to associate doing well in class to something from home.

But I would question the teacher's focus on your child. IF she's only having this issue with your child then why? Is your daughter getting the work done? What is the big deal if she takes the entire time to do her work? Is she finishing it?

If she's NOT finishing the work in the allotted time then she stays inside and doesn't go to recess. She finishes her work. If she doesn't get it done by the time both recesses are over and lunch break is over then she brings it home.

The teacher has resources and I'd like to hear more about what she's tried and what her experience level is. Is she an older teacher who's had tons of experience in the classroom? Is she an involved teacher that captivates the kids interest? Is she young and inexperienced? Does she seem lost as to what to try?

I would think that any teacher would have the ability to utilize better options than to do this sort of thing.

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S.H.

answers from Santa Barbara on

Teachers make mistakes too.

Ask her (okay, not really) if a camera can be placed to watch the teacher and the allow the parents to tally anything they do not agree with during the day.

edit:
Sounds like this is a common practice. I stand corrected.

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R.K.

answers from Boston on

Perhaps a chart for when the teachers notices she is paying attention, and as a trial, for the one period a day which your daughter and the teacher agree on?

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C.B.

answers from San Francisco on

I agree with Lumpy - gives her some incentive to focus and a feeling of pride when the teacher has noticed. Aleviates your concern about anxiety and gives her a boost of self-esteem. Win-win!

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O.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

If it could help, try it! You can always change your mind!

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K.H.

answers from Richmond on

sounds like the teacher is a little too focused on your daughter...time to do some digging, is the teacher getting a bonus check from a local pediatrician or pharmacy representative for adhd "referrals" ?? if they are, then its a clear conflict of interest, is your daughter the only kid in class that she is giving these check marks to? has the teacher "recommended" adhd meds to you for your daughter, or any other student in her class?? ask around , even one or two "recommendations" for adhd meds, can mean a HUGE bonus check for the teacher..typically, you can do an online cross reference on the teacher, concerning adhd or other medication recommendations. K. h

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M.N.

answers from Detroit on

No teacher in the district where I work (in Michigan, not too far from you) would ever be permitted to place such a negative tally sheet on a child's desk. Not only would that be disconcerting and anxiety-provoking to a third grade child, but it would also be humiliating and open to scrutiny by classmates who would learn to be scornful and judgmental, as well. My suggestion is to talk to the teacher and to implement a positive chart INSIDE the desk--maybe taped to the underside of the desk top if it's the kind that hinges open--and to place on that PRIVATE chart the stickers that your little girl receives when she does focus and pay attention. You can design a reward system to implement at home if the teacher does not want to use rewards in the classroom. I would encourage you to use rewards such as mommy reading an extra story at bedtime, or daughter being allowed to help cook/prepare her favorite dessert...not necessarily something material. Extra special time spent with mom is usually a great incentive--even if you are already the kind of mom who places a high value on together-time...and it sounds as though you are!

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