Teacher Put Purell down My Son's Ear...

Skip the school. They've already shown their true colors. I would file a complaint with the district superintendent. This is absolutely unacceptable behavior, whether it's one student or many. I would demand that the teacher be reprimanded in writing and make it clear that, if they refuse, the 5'oclock local news would likely be very interested in knowing about it.

What Diane B said. They took him to the office, and basically told him to keep quiet about the incident because it could get the teacher in trouble? RED FLAG. Go over their heads.

If you are not happy about the teacher's behavior, nor the way it was handled by the office, you should formally request a meeting with both. If you still think they are being dismissive and protecting a teacher that picks on boys and pushing kids not to report behavior toward them, then I would write a formal complaint to the next level of admin.

I had a teacher that favored girls (a woman science teacher) and I didn't think it was right. If the situation was reverse and a male teacher was harassing female students, do you think they would be so quick to brush it off? Hand sanitizer doesn't belong in anyone's ear or eye, and some people are allergic (my friend's kid has a severe reaction and cannot use it at all). It's not funny.

Oh, holy &%$# - I'd be furious. This is unacceptable.

If a student repeatedly falls asleep in class, maybe you call home, maybe you send him to the principal. What kind of person thinks Purel in the ear is the right way to go?!?

I do not know what a "picker" is but I don't like what the principal said to your son either. The culture among teachers and admin in a high school is so important. Teens are vulnerable - not in the same ways as little kids - but so much more easily led in other ways. If THIS is OK in this school, what else is?

what is a 'picker'?
how many principals does your school have?
yeah, i'd be pissed off about this.
what does your son want you to do?
khairete
S.

This is not at all a humorous matter, and I don't know exactly what to suggest, although you have gotten some wonderfully written, knowledgeable answers, from what I've read.

However, did anyone else notice that the advertisement at the bottom of the page picked up on the title of this post and is an ad for Purell?! Gah!!

Ditto Christy Lee's answer and also Diane B.'s answer. The school has shown you just what its attitude is. Take it over the school's head. But be sure, first, that your son knows what you plan to do and understands it-- because I would not trust this teacher or the principals; I would fully expect they could make his life hell once they hear from the superintendent's office that you have complained. I am not saying don't do it but be certain you and your son have your eyes open.

I also would immediately check the school system's policy regarding students who are called to see principals in cases like this. There have been several incidents in our high schools here where students were called in and made to sign "statements" in front of administrators without parents present and without parents even being informed after the fact -- and the school retains that signed statement. In some cases the kids were perpetrators, but in other cases, the kids were the victims or just witnesses to things, and THEY were made to feel they were somehow in the wrong, and were left to wonder how those signed statements would be used later. Now some parents in our system are giving schools formal letters indicating that their kids cannot be interviewed by teachers or administrators without a parent present and cannot sign anything at all at school unless a parent is present and approves. I would get such a letter on file before you pursue this, so these principals don't drag your son back in and start grilling him or making him sign things saying he somehow is at fault. Be sure your son understands, too, that he does NOT have to talk to the principals or teacher or counselor about this -- they cannot force him, and if they say, "You have to talk to us or we'll discipline you," he should assert his right to phone you immediately.

Someone else complained about this teacher! Your son was called in because either another student reported this incident or another student was subjected to something similar and reported that your son was also a victim. He is not alone in being mistreated by this viciously stupid adult. The principals are scared to death of a lawsuit or the police getting involved. Let them be scared. Go over their heads, but be sure your son is aware and has some level of protection in the form of clear written notification that he is not to be questioned without you physically there in the room.

It would help to know what they mean by "he's a picker" though.

Have you actually talked to the principal yourself, or are you just getting this from your son? The first thing you need to do is call and get an appointment to see the principal. Hear it all in person and not from the point of view of a 15 year old.

If indeed hand sanitizer was squirted in your son's ear, she should be in a lot of trouble. I don't understand the part about the formal complaint. HE doesn't have to file a formal complaint. The principal is her boss and no student has to be put in that position.

I am guessing if another 15 year old did this to your son, that children (who is not an adult nor a teacher) would have been punished.

I would be curious how many non-documented incidents have occurred.

I can imagine her behavior getting worse as the years go on if she is never accountable for her actions.

I would be very upset. What the teacher did was wrong and she should be reprimanded, possibly put on leave until her behavior has been investigated. The fact that the teacher is in her 50's means nothing. SOMETHING set her off on this day and she reacted in a way she should not have reacted.

I won't go as far and calling the media and suing. I think that is a stretch. If you want to blow some money hire an attorney but any attorney will still get all facts before they agree to pursue anything. In the meantime, you pay them well for their time. What do YOU want to happen?

There are 2 sides to every story and you have your son's story. What did the principal mean by "picker"? Also, I think the term "bully" is thrown around too loosely. You should have been notified and you should have been in the meeting with the school principals. No excuse there either.

High school teachers have to have a lot of patience because there are a lot of kids who purposely disrupt class time because they are bigger than the teacher, cop an attitude, etc.

By no means am I letting the teacher off the hook here... I just feel like all of the information has not been gathered as to why this happened and what prompted the teacher to do this (which is WRONG). Who says the students have formally complained about her? Is that hearsay or fact?

There is a lot of unknown information here and before I would run to the media, fire or sue the teacher and the school.... get the facts. I am sure 100% of the fault is not all on the teacher. I've been in plenty of class rooms to see how some kids this age act.

As for the Purell, it probably was all whisked out when he shook his head. If he is ok at this point, I think he will be ok but ask your Dr. for guidance on that part.

Good luck

ETA: I am just surprised how so many people are ready to tar and feather the teacher before all the facts are presented. Granted she made a poor choice on handling something in the classroom but she does not deserve a death penalty until all facts are on the table.

I wouldn't have anything to say to the school at all. I would be parking my tail in the superintendent's office until something was done. And more than a warning for the teacher. I'm sorry, but this is way out of line. There is a student in our school who is allergic to Purell...who knew?! So her doing that could have caused a ton of damage.

I would be demanding a full investigation and that I was privy to the results. I would also expect my child to have no further interactions with this teacher unless my child's life was in danger.

This is a clear case of why teachers get a bad rap in the public.....I cannot believe that this woman thought it would ever be okay or funny to do something like that to your son. This woman should not be teaching, and I am embarrassed that she shares my profession!

Furthermore, the way the school handled it is even worse! *IF your son is telling the truth (double check with him to make sure), then this woman has been allowed to bully and harass generations of kids with her inappropriate behavior. It would be scary to know how many students were talked down from reporting in the past.

Please, please, please, talk with your son again to make sure that you are 100% clear on what happened, then take this to the superintendent. I also do not think it would hurt to mention that you have consulted an attorney on your son's legal rights, and you would like to know how the district is going to handle this situation before you decide whether or not to proceed with legal action.

Lastly, let me apologize on behalf of all the GOOD teachers of the world...that never should have happened to your son.

Holy cow! I usually give teachers the benefit of the doubt. I'd be furious!!! Ears are delicate. She needs to be fired immediately.

I would request a meeting with the principal and the teacher. It is a shame he was given a guilt trip. What she did was inappropriate behavior. I could see her slamming a book loudly down on the floor to wake him up to get his attention, but putting a substance in his ear - that is a ridiculous act. I would feel the same if another student did this, but this is the teacher, the adult who is supposed to set the example and frankly have more damn sense than the kids do.

The teacher's behavior was way off base and she should get in a lot of trouble. I might contact the police/district attorney and see if she can be arrested for battery. I would also write a letter to the superintendent of the school district, with a copy to the school principal, demanding that the teacher be reprimanded and that my son be taken out of that class. I would insist on a meeting with the teacher so she could explain herself. This is NOT funny! Someone needs to get a handle on this woman!

I would send a letter to the superintendent outlining the issue and requesting a meeting. CC the principal and teacher. I cannot believe a teacher would be so stupid and puerile to pour an alcohol solution into a child's ear. I also cannot believe that the administration is trying to railroad your son into pretending it didn't happen.

My granddaughter is allergic to alcohol so they would be hearing from me in a very loud voice that it was even on her body.

In my opinion they set your son up to protect this teacher and themselves. If he filed a complaint like this they could be held liable too.

I suggest you go file a complaint on the admin and the teacher. They phrased it so he wouldn't want to get her in trouble. They told him if he did this HE would be getting HER in trouble. Kids don't like being the one to get someone else in trouble. So they were pretty safe asking him this way.

I'd be mad and that admin would be hearing all about it after I filed the complaint.

I'm all for facts being told by all parties, HOWEVER what this teacher did is appalling. Fact is the kid was sleeping, Fact is the teacher put hand sanitizer inside his ear while he was sleeping. Please purse this, whatever way you deem necessary....this is a crazy story and you weren't even notified is appalling too.

I also hope you go to his Dr just to have it on record.

The incident may have happened while on school grounds but your son does have some rights. I would speak to the school about the teacher's actions and request that she be reprimanded.

There is no need to do something like this to anyone even if they are a student and fell asleep in the class. I don't know about the news or media but a possible trip to an attorney's office would be in order.

I would definitely speak to my son about this incident and remind him that you are still his parent and he needs to come to you when issues arise. He is still in your home and not 18.

the other S.

I would be absolutely furious. They should have contacted you, no doubt. I would also go above the school to the district level. This is very serious for so many reasons. If she's been a teacher for so long, and is close to retirement, I'm sure there is pressure from the teachers union, etc. I would not let assaulting your child be taken lightly.

The "discipline" is not at all proportional to your son's "offense," and I'd be extremely upset at such an invasion of my child's person. I would want to talk with the principal immediately, with the teacher present. If that didn't meet my needs for clear communication, I'd go to the superintendent. I'd want that teacher to hear, clearly and loudly, that this is unacceptable on any level, and that it must never happen again to any student. I'd want the word of the administration that they will handle this in a professional manner, not by guilting a child into silence.

And having said that, I do think that proportionality is critical to a just and humane society. While some possibility existed for this ridiculous act to cause harm (I'm so glad it didn't), getting a person fired for a momentary, impetuous/unwise act is not proportional or reasonable. So I couldn't go that far with my demands.

While perhaps satisfying, punishment that outweighs misbehavior is destructive to civilization. In my 40+ years as an adult, I've been alarmed at how far society has swung into "accountability" that really is not accountable itself. And who knows when or how that could come back at us in hurtful and unexpected ways? All of us are perfectly capable of bad choices, stupid behavior, ignorance, or offensve mischief.

There's already so much punishment, as opposed to correction, for student behaviors that are little more than misdemeanors or refusals to bow to authority. Students end up labeled, in detention or suspended, even sent through the legal system, for doing things that would have simply earned a trip to the Dean's office when I was a kid. This teacher pumping a potentially harmful substance in a kid's ear for sleeping is an example of excessive "correction." Overcorrecting the teacher's unwise behavior would be perpetrating this pattern.

The only way we will find our way out of this mess in our society is to practice compassion instead of reactivity, and start forgiving. Correct, yes. Demand change, yes. Put the teacher under close supervision, absolutely. Fire her? Where does our own individual responsibility to create a compassionate world kick in?

I agree 100% with Christy Lee.

Honestly, that behavior is appalling. I would probably consult an attorney, knowing how strongly i'd feel about that.

What a horrible thing to do to a kid and what a horrible position they put him in, without any warning!! I would be furious! Love Diane B.'s advice.

I would schedule a time to talk with the principal. I would definitely be upset but go in with an open mind trying to get the full story. Once you get the story, decide if you want to file a formal complaint. If this is an ongoing thing with this teacher, I would probably choose to.
You would hope in her 50's she would but people are immature at all ages.

I would speak to the school admins.

I would confirm that it's true then go to the school district. I would skip going to the school since they are clearly trying to brush it under the rug, which it looks like they have been doing and are very good at. Good luck.

Obviously this is not ok.

I'm just editing my previous answer because I was a bit shocked you hadn't already contacted the school. Yes, by all means, you should take this up with the school. If for some reason this is not resolved, then take it further. It's totally unacceptable. Good luck!

Um....WHAT???

100% NOT OK.
She deserves what you get.
You should have been called.
It's like they scared him into saying it was no big deal.