Teacher Problems

Children are not afraid of specific people for no reason at all, unless there is an anxiety issue involved. Since both your posts have left out information about your son, it is hard to tell what the root could be, and my experience with schools is that there is going to be significant information from this teacher (unfounded or not) that she will use as a justification for why this is all your son's fault, and she has done what she should.

That being said, retention is a bad thing for kids, and if he has failed all year, then she was obligated to teach him in a different way or to call for an evaluation to find out why he was having so much difficulty, even if that difficulty was emotional.

This just seems so out of the ordinary to me Jenn. If the teacher is hiding everything from you, and you don't have other details about any of this, then you really need to camp out in your principals office and get them today. I would no more send my second grader into a classroom where I had zero clue why he was terrified, than I would allow a teacher to fail him because of reasons unknown.

What is really up?

M.

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Wow something is obviously not right here. Has this been an all year problem? Is she just very strict? Is this just directed at your son? Have you heard any other parents mention any concerns?

I agree that you must make an appointment with the Principal and have an actual meeting before you go any higher, because that is the first thing they are going to ask you if you go to the actual school district or School board.

The other thing is that with all correspondence with the teacher or Principal should be through her email and make sure you CC. it to the Principal and the area superintendent or whoever is the Principals boss.

You are your child's best advocate! Get in there and find out what is going on. I cannot believe the teacher would let this go an entire school year.

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Jenn,

Are you saying that this whole school year you have not had a "parent/teacher conference"? If this is the case, it is highly unusual. What do the counsellor and principle say?

There is a reason why your son is terrified and why he isn't finishing his work. Is this happening with any other children in his class? Your son may need a different class. How did he do in the first grade?

I was afraid of a couple of my teachers, they weren't really mean although it seemed that way at the time. They just made me work harder then I wanted to, but they were also the teachers that taught me the most.

Blessings....

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I don't think she can legally refuse to meet with you! What about Parent/Teacher conferences that are scheduled throughout the year? What does the principal say? If the principal won't help you, you should call your school board member IMMEDIATELY! If I were you, I would get in my car right now and just go to the school. Go to the front office, get a visitor's badge, tell them you're a parent and you're going to see your child's class. He is YOUR child, the school and its employees are paid for with home owner's property tax money, so don't take NO for an answer! She would meet with me TODAY. They can get someone to cover her class. Since no one has helped you set up a meeting in the past, let them know they can just "deal" with the inconvenience.

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I don't get it. Are you sure you've actually talked with the principal? I mean concerning the subject that the teacher will not set up a meeting? What I would do is call the principal and tell them you want to set up a meeting with both him/her and the teacher. It isn't a question, it is a request/demand. Be confident in what you are requesting...that it is not a question. If that doesn't work, don't set anything up but rather go to the school and ask to see the principal then and there...if they say he/she is busy, wait. Good luck!

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What do you mean she refuses them! Go to the Principal again and demand a meeting with him, then if you get no where I would go the superintendent of the schools. Do not let it on one more day! Tell then you are going to take him out of there school system, your going to take him to the Doctors for stress because of this teacher. Than your going to sue the hell out of the school system for protecting and helping your child.

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My daughter had a not so great student in second grade - and I expressed my concerns to the principal and the administrative personnel within the first couple months of school (this teacher was a problem with NUMEROUS parents) The principal sat in during our parent - teacher conference and monitored it. If your son cannot complete his work soley because of her, he should be able to be tested independently and see what the results show. I strongly encourage a group meeting with the teacher, counselor, principal - maybe have the principal set it up. It may be your son just needs a little more help - being held back might help him - but I would request he have a different teacher.

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LIk others have said, this doesn't have alot of info, but as a teacher, I know there is no way I can refuse a parent meeting, especially once my principal has been contacted. Call the superintendent if you need to, but I have never heard of a teacher being able to refuse flat out to meet with a parent.

Meet with the principal in person if need be.

Good luck, wish we had more info to better help you!

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What is the principal doing to solve this? If my son's teacher wasn't responding to my calls or emails, I'd be at the school. I somewhat know her schedule and when she is in a position not to ignore me. I know that at that moment she wouldn't be able to talk, but I would demand an appointment. If she again refused or hesitated a little, I would be in the office, talking to the principal. Your child's education is, or at least should be her top priority--along with all her other students.
Good luck.

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the can't fail or hold back your child without your concent. the school year is almost done. maybe you need to go in front of the school board and bring up how the teacher refuses to meet with you and how the princinpal isn't helping you or your child!!!

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i'm not sure what you mean by 'he's so scared he can't get his work completed.' if his work isn't being completed, she really has no choice BUT to fail him. a teacher can't refuse to meet with you although you must accommodate her busy schedule. what have the principal and guidance counselor said to you? are there other parents with this complaint? is your son prone to anxiety?
i'd like to hear a more complete version of this story.
khairete
S.

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Hi Jenn,

You have the right as a parent at any time to visit your child at school. You will have to sign in at the office and this is a procedure that protects our kids. Ask that you have the school social worker walk to the class with you and just watch outside for a while and then sit in the class. You have the right to do this and surprise them, visit off and on, all the time. Your child will know you are watching them and the teacher will also be on her or his toes. This is such a young age for your child to be afraid of school.

Asking information about this teacher is also your right. If you feel your child is being treated differently call them on it. Check with your states government office and they will help you. Don't give up, we do have some horrible teachers out there and they need to know we are watching them. He has the right for an equal education just like other students you might even try talking to other parents.

Good luck!

B. C

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Run, do not walk, to the school board. Tell them what is going on and demand that your son be removed from that classroom immediately. That is an unhealthy environment for your son, and no child deserves to be frightened of their teacher. Some personalities do not work well together. Your son has a right to an education. (It is the law.) Good luck!

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Jenn,

You did not mention what the guidance counselor or the principle have said. If you still feel you ar enot being heard, then perhaps go to the superintendent...and if you are still having issues, then perhaps hire an advocate/lawyer who specializes in these types of school law issues. It is somewhat late in the school year to be dealing with this, but there's still a little time. Good luck.

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Jenn,
She cannot refuse to meet with you. I don't know all of the details, but this has gone on far too long. Your son should have been removed from this teacher's class a long time ago. My son is in kindergarten. I had trouble getting the info I needed so I started putting all my requests in writing and kept a copy. I met with them on 3 different occassions. If you are not getting the info, send one final letter to the principal stating all of the steps that you have taken to work with the guidance counselor and teacher. Let the principal know that you need a meeting with him/her. If you do not get an answer, then go to the superintendent. If you don't get results, then go to the board.

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I agree with many of the moms here that your message leaves out a lot of information. It seems shocking that a teacher would not call, email, or meet with you in person at the very least on parent conference days. In my district, this is mandatory at multiple points in the year, especially when a student is failing. Is the teacher refusing the entire idea of meeting, or are you both unable to come up with a common meeting time because of work schedules etc.? Perhaps a phone conference will be the only way to meet in that case.
You've spoken with the guidance counselor and principal, what were their responses? Did the counselor meet with your child to talk about his fears? The counselors are there to talk with kids about any emotional issues. It's in the job description! Do a follow up with his guidance counselor to see if she ever met with him and what she learned from that meeting.
Has anyone at the school discussed educational testing to look for learning differences in your son? Maybe he's struggling with the material and doesn't do it because he's afraid of being wrong. If this is the case, he'll continue to have troubles, no matter what room he is in. Second grade is an age when many learning troubles start to show up. It's hard for a teacher to figure out where the problem is if the student won't at least try. Sometimes parents refuse to have their children tested for many years. They don't think that there is a learning problem. Maybe there isn't one- then the testing will prove that and point to the teacher as the source of the problem. The thing is, you have to give your approval for the testing before it can be done. That approval only means that the counselor or school psychiatrist can test your child, not label him or put him in a different room. If there's no learning problem, then no harm is done. You can go after the teacher with proof on your side. If the testing shows that there is a problem, you can still choose to ignore it. No one can force your child to get any special ed services without your approval.
I also think an unscheduled visit to this teacher's classroom is a good idea. Make sure that you are there just to observe what the teacher and your son are up to though, not to stop class and demand a conference right there. There are 20 other kids in the room who deserve to learn, not get babysat by an aid or the secretary every time a parent decides to drop by. The same moms encouraging you to storm the school will be pissed off if their little darlings don't have their teacher's full attention for the day!

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Why would you wait till now to fight this? If your son has been terrified of her all yr you should have voiced this way before now. Also when you say scared what do you mean? Is he worried about making her unhappy by not getting it all right or actually hates to be in her class.

And if he hasn't learned anything because he hasn't done the work then you do need to let him repeat the yr. I know this sounds harsh but he will only benefit from it. Just make sure he does not have the same teacher as this yr.

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Wow. I can't imagine going to school and being afraid of my teacher. Your poor son. So the teacher refuses to meet with you? Have you been ABLE to meet with the guidence counselor or the principle or do they blow you off too. If no one at the school is making an effort to "fix" this situation, my next step would be calling the school board. My son is only one, so I haven't had to go through this situation, but I know I wouldn't stand for it! Do what you have to and start making some noise to the school and the school board. It's completely unacceptable what they are putting your son through. Good luck.

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If your attempts at resolution are futile within the school, I'd recommend going past the principle to the school superintendant. There is NO excuse for a child being afraid of a teacher and the school taking no action to correct it.

Of course, we don't know all the details, but if your portrayal is factual, there is an inherent and immediate issue that needs to be addressed.

Perhaps private schools operate differently, but public schools are tax-payer funded, and should be providing a service to a child without fear or intimidation.

We have an issue in Indiana that just came to surface this morning in which negotiations between the state's teachers union and the Secretary of Education are at an impasse. Because they can't find common ground, there will be considerable layoffs (which only harms children) and loss of potentially $200M in funding from the federal government.

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The teacher refuses to meet with you? What kind of teacher does that? Totally unacceptable! Pull your son out of school immediately and have someone watch him if you can. If you have no one, take him with you to the office. In person, go in to the school office and speak to the principal immediately. If she/he is not there, track him/her down. Do NOT let up, or let them give you the run around. Tell the principal that your child is having a serious problem, and the teacher refuses to meet with you. Tell them you have an URGENT need to sit down with both teacher and principal, and possibly the school counselor before your son returns to his classroom. Document everything. If you don't get complete reassurance that this teacher has care, concern, and desire to help your son succeed, don't send him back. The year is almost over. I'm not big on homeschooling, but I would do it temporarily just to get my child out of there if it was that bad. If you can, look for a new school for next year. If not, keep on that principal to make sure he gets back on track by not having another teacher like his current one for next year and the rest of his time at that school. Good luck!

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I know how you and your son feel. My daughter is in 2nd grade and scared of her teacher as well.
From what I have learned through my experience is....Don't make appointments. Go to the school and demand to talk to the principle and the teacher. They will talk to you because they don't want a seen. Don't try to make an appointment or call they will put you off. If, for some reason, that does not work go to your school board and if that does not work go to the department of education. Your son has a right to feel comfortable at school.

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I understand where you come from . My daughter is 15 and is in 9th grade. For 2 1/2 yrs, she went to a partial program for schooling. This year, they placed her in public schools even tho she has Social Anxiety Disorder. She has had nothing but problems since. Sounds like even tho it is close to the end of the year, you need to push..I ended up going to the school psychologist and the head of the emotional support person. Since then, we have tried different things to make it easier on her. She is still struggling but you have a right to meetings. Push it, dont 'let them push you. If no satisfaction, as someone said, get a lawyer. They can fight for what your child deserves. If not for being the end of the year, I would pull him til they give him a new teacher, I had to do that with one of my other children in the second grade. I wish you luck, keep us posted...

Oh Jenn, I think you waited so long. I hope you have a good outcome after meeting with the teacher or the principal. It is so sad that this is happening to often and is becoming usual. I don't know what is happening in schools, but they sure are not encouraging kids' love for learning. If you don't have a satisfying response or an immediate action, just pull it out from that school and switch to another one. Stand up and speak up for your child.
Good luck and keep us posted.

Hi, Jenn:

Check with your school board that is over the school.
Good luck. D.

go to the superintendant.they will give you the asst but he/she will help..Have your sons report cards with you so they can see the comments she wrote each time..go for a unanounced visit and keep out of site of your son and teacher and listen really listen..if his grades are ok she can't fail him she would have to place him..schools don't like to retain students, she is just being ugly and needs to be called out,,oh yeah what does she say during parent conf..he should have on if it is that bad right..if not don't sweat it ,but I would say something..if she does not reply to your phone calls report it to the priciple and if he says something to her defense tell him/her you are calling the super intendant..that should light a fire under their Butts..You can do it, let them know you mean bussiness..

Are you kidding? Did you tell the principal that she is refusing your requests for meetings? I would demand a sit-down with the princiapl, counselor and the teacher. This MUST be resolved for the sake of your son. If they refuse, you need to go above the principal's head. To the School District? The newspaper? Do not stop until you get some action and solutions for your child. They should be helping you in any way possible to help your child succeed. That is their job! Please keep us posted on this one. Good luck!

PS-Start documenting conversations and phone calls. Keep records. Write down times and dates. Save emails. You may need them. Let the principal know you will go above his head. TOTALLy UNACCEPTABLE!