Tchild with Disabilities

Hi,
I am sure I could repeat the same things others have said but I have to give my two cents. I am a Special Ed social worker and I agree with others that you need to be in touch with the social worker assigned to your son's school. When a child has disabilities that impede their academics (which can include socialization), they are protected with an IEP. With that IEP, you cannot suspend a child for behaviors if they are tied directly to his disability. It will also require the school to create a positive behavior support plan in order to help your son learn alternate behaviors so he will be more successful and happier! I agree that PACER is your best advocate. I am sooooo sorry you are having such a hard time. DO not give up and please give yourself a hug for being such a good mom. It is your son's right to have Free and Appropriate Public Education which he is clearly not receiving if they send him home all the time. Feel free to send me a message if I can help you in any way. Good luck and thank you for all you do for son!
Katy

It may not be the school, but the teacher. First get information for the teacher and some specific suggestions to give him/her to use in class. Also, sign a release for the teacher to talk with your childs Dr. and any professionals that work with him. Keep working to find an ali in the school to help you. You are your child's advocate. Don't stop until you get what he needs, but be sure to approach the teacher as half of a partnership, not a superior. Teachers are more willing to work with someone not for someone. Good luck!

Perhaps a comprehensive speech and occupational therapy evaluation at a pediatric clinic. Maybe some behaviors related to sensory issues? Speech could also look at the social skills piece. His primary doctor could give you a referral and dr's order. I work for the Courage Center and they offer not only therapy but tons of programs for kids with disabilities and their families. Good luck and email me if you have more questions.

____@____.com

Shelley

If he's in a regular classroom with regular kids then YES he needs to have consequences for his actions and cannot hit teachers etc. It wouldn't be fair or a good example for the other children if he was to get away with this. If this is the case he can't control himself then he needs to get moved to a classroom that handles behavioral issues etc. That's not fair to a normal typical teacher and they aren't trained for it and that's alot of attention the other children arent' recieving.

Now if he is in a "special education" classroom full time than I'd think he would be with teachers and aides that would be specialized in behavioral problems and know or expect that a child with your son's disability acts the way he does and that suspension is totally not going to help.

Maybe your son is in the wrong classroom, does he have his own personal aide or anything. Maybe that's what you need to do. Sounds like a typical classroom wouldn't work out for him regardless of how bright he is.

Hi S.,

I work in a school special education department as a speech language pathologist. I highly recommend that you first contact your school's special educator director or an administrator to discuss your concerns if you haven't already done so or if you are in a larger school district, you should be contacting someone at the district level.

I would assume that your son's IEP is not being implemented correctly, which is in violation of the law. In our school district, we actually will not suspend a student who is verified in special education.

The purpose of the IEP is simply to outline his needs, where he is at currently and what each staff member wants him to be working on based on his needs and current level of performance. The IEP should not be that difficult to understand if written appropriately. It should state clearly, the goals that each sped staff member has for your son (educational goals, speech/language goals, social goals, behavior goals, etc) The IEP should state who is responsible for implementing each goal and the time and location of when the services should be provided. I am assuming that he is receiving services from a variety of specialists including the SLP, a BD teacher and possibly even OT/PT if he has sensory issues in addition to the special education teacher. Each state is different, but our state has implemented a state wide web site that most districts use (I think only the largest school district in our state uses something else). The IEP might appear to be overwhelming because there is a lot of information, but the main components of the IEP should be easy to understand and should have been explained to you.

There should also be a clearly defined area that discusses how your son's behavior may be impacting his academic success with a clear protocol for procedures to be followed when he is demonstrating inappropriate behavior.

The staff members working with him need to design some sort of system for him to use so that he can identify when he knows that his behavior is escalating so that he can deescalate rather than 'blow' and then demonstrate the behaviors which are getting him in trouble. We have used many systems in our school which allow a student to simply show a card or flag or symbol to let the adults know that his behavior is escalating and the student is allowed to leave the room, no questions asked (of course, a plan is set in advance that if they leave the room they go to a designated area...they can't just roam freely). Does his school have such systems in place?

There are many great books out there for support. I highly suggest that you search some of them out...and share them with your school. Are there any other asperger students in his school? Unfortunately, it sounds as if you are going to have to be a strong advocate for your son...and even more unfortunate, teach the staff.

As a last resort, I would consider contacting your state department of education to express your concerns if you truly feel that you have tried every avenue at your school. I would assume that your state has a set of special education rules and guidelines and that you have received a copy of your parental rights from your school district. Your state department of education may be able to provide some mediation or even help to develop a new IEP together.

Good luck....I hope that your son will get the education that he deserves.

I hope you have gotten help with this. My child too has learning disabilities and I have been in a constant fight with my shcool district over his education. What finally helped me, was bringing in an expert in Special Ed. Here is where I found some great info...

http://www.specialed.us/index.html

Good Luck...remember no one will fight for our children, except us. Stay strong!

Hi S.! I worked as a SPED teacher for a while, and I have to tell you, there are laws that protect your son. First thing I would do is get out that IEP (school will send you a copy if you need one) and look at your son's services page. It should be a page towards the back of the IEP with a bunch of little boxes on it. The boxes will be checked beside the areas that the school is going to work with him on. See that the school is doing these things, it is illeagal for them to do otherwise.

Also, another thing you can do is request an IEP addendum meeting. It is your right to do so, the school has to grant you one. Apperently something is missing here with the school and they need to be called to task. In an addendum meeting the IEP can be changed or modified. Do your homework, make a list of things that work at home with your son, and a list of things you would like the school to do. Take someone with you to be a support and another set of ears for the meeting. you will feel less intimidated. Also, request a communication notebook to be sent home with your son every day. This will really help with the teacher.

If you need Help with dealing with the school please contact PACER CENTER, 952-838-900. They can assist you to get the help that you need. Is he on a IEP. If so he can not be out of school more the 10 day. If so they need to do take corrective action. This is what Pacer can help you with. I recommend them to any child with disabilities. The advocates are great & they have kids with disabilities. Also they have workshops for parent. I have gone & they are great.

Do you have a social worker assigned to your sons? If not, you should find out who they are. If you do, get them involved. I grew up with a mentally handicapped sister who was mainstreamed with me in high school. I don't know if you work or not, but if you can spend a day with him at school and go through the day with him and his teachers. Unfortunately it may take a lot of time on your part in order to keep following up with the school and teachers?

S....I feel for you. You are an amazing woman...remember that. Its hard to be a mom of a kid with no disabilities let alone a mom with kids who have them. My sister has a paralyzed son from spinabifeda and my boss has a daughter with Aspergers. Its very hard in both cases, but stay strong. Have you tried contacting the counties to see if there is a better program for you son other than a normal school? I know my boss had a problem with all this as her daughter grew up too but the counties helped her and now she is a functioning 22 yr old with aspergers who lives with a roomate in a home for disabilites. Her mom had to put her in special schools too. I know here in MN we have St. Davids for example....but I am not sure what you have there. GOOD LUCK and STAY STRONG! Also...have you ever heard of Juice Plus? It is well known and talked about with Dr. Sears (well known dr) and he helps tame things a bit if your kids are healthy. You should just read about it and the research. www.saveurhealth.net ....its good to atleast be more educated all around. Your in my prayers. :)

Hi there,
My child doesn't have any disabilities however my sister has a boy that has tuberous sclerosis. Right away it was very evident that something was different. Day by day he gets a little more comfortable but I think that it helps to have a routine in place. I don't know if that is how the school runs it where you are but he readily knows what is supposed to happen next and I think that makes him feel like he is control and therefore comfortable.
Other outings is anothr story. He is not controlled in public. When my sister goes out with in to a resturant he hides under the table or he hides under a hat or jacket. Whatever is available to him. It isn't like he doesn't want to see us or interact with us it is just like to much stimuli makes him uncomfortable.
Hopefully the routine suggestion will help out your little guy to stay in school. I have never heard of his condition so I will look it up to better know what that is and all the symptoms.
Good luck and take one day at a time! I encourage you to try to find others that may be having the same questions and do a little feedback thing. I know that is what my sister does and she feels that is a ton of help. Other parents may have found something that a book can't tell you.
I think that is really back wards that the school is doing that to him. If he is in trouble then deal with it when it happens not days after. That is probably why he is acting out if he is. I would be upset to if I wasn't doing anything and then I get hauled off to the principles office.
Again good luck and keep trucking, your a strong woman that loves your children. One day this will all get a little easier.
S.