Tattos Taboo?

I know you've already gotten a lot of responses. I just want to say that my opinion is that making broad assumptions or judging another person, especially another mother, for any physical reason is just a sign of weak character, ignorance, and/or insecurity. I would hesitate to have my children spend time with families who judge, stereotype, or pigeon hole other people. A tattoo is a choice. It's also a brave expression of personal creativity and art, which I appreciate in anyone. But to make an assumption about a person's character, upbringing, or parenting style or skills based on a tattoo is ridiculous and shameful, I think. When I see mothers with visible tattoos, I silently applaud them. In fact, I believe their kids are being raised by confident, proud, expressive, creative people whose character is unrepressed. Personally, I have 2 very small homemade tattoos from 17 years ago that few people know about. I imagine tattoos to be much like someone taking time to scrapbook - preserving memories, telling a story, etc. - they may hold personal and private memories for you, they may just be for fun, or you may share them with others openly. But to make negative associations about a person or their children based on tattoos...well, that's not someone I'd want to share my time with. I think you'd be surprised at who has tattoos that you don't even know about. Be proud, you're not hiding anything. People will notice - they'll look and even stare - but they would if you chopped your hair off, too. Your tattoo isn't going anywhere, though. They'll get over it and hopefully you'll meet more people who don't define you by it than those who do. Consider it a type of filter...the people you become close to who don't judge you are the quality people you'd like to have in your life to begin with. You are automatically weeding out the people who probably aren't worth your time!

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Hi S.!
Well, it looks like a topic that will get A LOT of different responses. I am a mommy with tattoos, 4 to be exact. 2 lower back, 1 ankle and 1 middle back and not going to stop. I used to get weirded out after I had my daughters but now I don't care because I know what all mine mean to me. Unfortunately there will be people that are going to pass judgement if you have red nails, let alone tattoos. Just be yourself and know that no one has the right to pass any judgement on you if you are being who you are.
Happy Tatting!
K. :~)

P.S. I also wanted to add that my girls and nieces and nephews LOVE mine and my husbands tattoos. They all have a story behind them and I'm darn proud of it!

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I have 10 tats, including a large one on my upper arm. I get mostly comments on how pretty they are, but I have had a few sneers from other moms. In my opinion, anyone who is going to automatically judge you based on your appearance isn't someone I want to know anyway. I moved here from Texas, and believe me, people here are a lot more open-minded about these things. I was completely shunned there, which was sad b/c my son is very outgoing and the other moms wouldn't let their kids play with him. I feel the same way you do..I don't care what people think about me, but I don't want my son judged b/c of how I look. I think the best way to go about it is to be the best mom you can be, teach your children that everybody looks different, and that it's what's on the inside that counts.

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Are you happy with your new ink? Thats all that matters. I personally have 3 tattos myself and if people want to look down on me because of them, well I pitty them!

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Here's the most important part of your post:

"I have a wonderful husband and I love my family more than anything!"

Who cares about the rest?!?

:)

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i would not let other people's opinions determine my self worth. if u want to sport tattoos...DO IT! there will always be someone who is looking for a way to be offended, and u will never please everyone. i was the youngest mom in my son's class. i have a tattoo and multiple ear piercings. my husband has long hair, tattoos and multiple ear piercings. and, we work at various renaissance faires around the country for a living. the "pta" crowd showed some distain for us, but most of the other parents didn't care. and, all of my son's friends think that we are the cool parents! honestly, if a little bit of extra pigment on your skin offends others, to hell with them! luv yourself and do what u want!

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*shrug* I don't have any myself, but there were several years where I had many piercings. They're gone now, because they no longer fit into my life. But who cares? As long as it's not offensive, what you do with your body is your business. There may be some people who make assumptions about you because of it, but you knew that going into the deal - and fortunately, even those folks usually have the decency to look past at tattoo and see you're a good person once they get to know you :)

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Just remember - those that matter don't judge, and those that judge, don't matter. Tattoos are an expression of individuality and can be a celebration of your body - teaching your children a sense of that is what is most important. To those of you who would make assumptions about a person's character or mothering based on a (non-offensive) tattoo - shame on you. Get a clue also. Many of us have them but in more discreet places just to avoid the judgemental prudes whose ignorant glares we would rather avoid. People, unfortunately, will always stereotype - those are the ones who pass on harmful lessons to their children. They are also usually the ones that have such low self-esteem that they chose to be critical of others rather than work on their own issues. This is a new age. Mothers who come in "cookie cutter" images are often dull and miserable.

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Tattoos are not as taboo as they used to be. I think you will find people's responses to them will be surprising and varied. As long it is not something tasteless and rude, and it is artistic and meaningful for you personally, I think most people will be accepting of it and you.

I am a 51 year old mother of a 25 year old married daughter (who has given me two wonderful grandchildren) and a 13 year old son; I am employed by a church doing communications and graphic work. For my 50th birthday to myself I got my first tattoo! I'm now thinking about another one....They are addictive.

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I'm a Christian woman and mama with a nose peircing and I wouldn't think there was anything wrong with you or not talk with you if we met at some event. I'd come right up and talk with you woman! Like attracts like. Look at it this way, you'll probably attract more open minded people and be able to thresh out the small minded idiots effortlessly! God bless you!!!

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I've got several and plan on getting more... I don't really care what other people think-- I don't do it for them. I like tattoos.

I think parents with tattoos are cool. LOL

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Hi S.! This is the first time I have reponded to anyone! I am a teacher and have been for 16 years and I have seen a lot of parents in my time. As teachers are concerned, we don't care what the parents have----we just care that they are involved in their children's education! As far as the parents are concerned, tatoos are more mainstreamed. If they are going to judge you, they were going to judge you on SOMETHING else, anyway! Wear your tatoo with pride as you go into the school to show your support for your chidren and their education!! Have a wonderful weekend! M. M :)

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In all honesty, my first impressions are that someone with a tattoo might not be someone that I'd look fwd to meeting. However, if you speak and present yourself as a nice person, I wouldn't care if you had a tattoo or not.

Hi S.,

Funny you should ask that. I have 3 tattoos and at the waterpark a few weeks ago, I hestitated to put my hair in a ponytail because of the big tattoo on the back of my neck.
I went back and forth and then decided to not to. I guess I wasn't sure either.
I am proud of mine and they are all easily hidden if I wanted to. But, I wonder the same. I personally think they are cool and a show of individuality.
My feelings - wear em proud...

Cherylynn

You know, I read alot of the responses people sent you and I wanted to share something with you. I have several tattoos and when ever i go to functions during the summer with my son I'm usually in tank tops and shorts. I don't let others perception or bias effect what I do, how i think, act, or dress. You got your tattoo for a reason. BE PROUD OF IT!!!! otherwise you shouldn't have gotten it!
Proud, Tattooed, Momma!

There are always"prudes" out there that will treat you and the kids differently. Those people don't want their own kids to learn about a more "free" lifestyle of being able to do what you want..They will keep their kids from seeing your kids. p.s. I have 5 myself, I know. My kids were extremely athletic and able to make their own way in school. I was lucky

No one SHOULD judge you on your looks, but aging has taught me that people do. Cover the tattoo when you are at school functions and the like. Show it off proudly at home. We never had much when I was growing up, so people talking about what my parents wore was at best excruiatingly painful.

I don't have any, but I've always wanted one. I just could never decide on what to get - and I was scared of the pain. My husband would prefer I DIDN'T have one, but that's his opinion. It's my body and I'll do what I want IF I want to. Lol. My sister has a tatoo and will be a Mom (hopefully).

Let's see - a mom with a tatoo? Hmmmm. I guess it depends on what it is. If it's nothing offensive, then who cares? If you like it, that's all that matters. ;)

(How bad does it hurt to get one, seriously??)

T.

First impression would be that things are pretty liberal at home, like inconsistent discipline, parenting that isn't intentional, etc. Terrible I know, but that would be my first thought. I'd have to get to know the person over time to make that go away.

Additional note: after reading more of the responses, the irony of the pro-tatoo writings is that many go on to judge the anti-tatoo people and call them names and make assumptions about how close-minded and prudish they are. So, in the same paragraph they say they don't judge, they are making judgements. It's just an opinion about tatoos. We all don't have to have the same opinion. Variety makes the world go around!

I don't want to sound prudish, but I don't like tattos. I think they look tacky. Naturally, that is just my opinion. I am trying to be serious and not sound uppity, but I would probably look down a bit at you for it. I know a tatto does not make a person icky or what not. My daughter has one and I have told her the same. Just my two cents tho. Not trying to make you feel bad or guilty or anything like that :)

I have one on my back, and was surprised at the number of other women I work with who also have them (moms, singles, grandmas, church ladies). I think much of the stigma about them is gone now. If you are concerned though, wear longer sleeves until the other parents get to know you, and then let it out. Probably get more interested people in the tattoo story.

Tattoos are great.
It would be pretty sad if people looked differently at you or your children just because of your tattoo without knowing you.
Tattoos are artwork and they are beautiful. Be proud of it and if someone judges you, keep your head up.

Hi S., don't worry about being stereotyped because of you artwork. Many people have tattos these days, it doesn't carry the stigma it used to. If you do encounter parents who judge you, look at it as a lesson for your children. It will teach them not to be judgemental...mommy is a good person and if people think she is not because of her tattos, they are wrong. It will fight ignorance and prejudice early in their lives!

Hi S.. Wow, you got some great responses. I'm one of the few people responding who doesn't have a tattoo. I don't think I'll ever get one, but you never know.

I just thought I'd offer you a slightly different perspective. My husband, even though his mom, brother, and sister-in-law all have one tattoo, thinks they are trashy. In some cases, I agree with him, but it's more of an exception from my perspective rather than the rule. (oh, and his tattoo'd family is not in the least trashy). I've tried changing his mind but I've learned that it's not so much that he judges people with tattoos, he just really doesn't like the look of them. And that's okay.

People are always going to judge though. I think it's just a part of human nature, even though it sucks. The fact that you're worried about judgement being passed on your children says alot about the type of person you are. It also gives you a wonderful opportunity to teach your children about the value of getting to the core of a person, rather than judging them on the surface. In addition, you can show them how to be proud of themselves and their family and not get weighed down by others.

Jen

Wow! I'm amazed by some of these responses. I think you need to be happy of the choices that you have made. If you feel the situation requires it, cover the tattoo up. I have a tattoo myself, and have at times, wished that it was something different, or in a different location, but I've never wished it away. When I got it, I was 24, and I felt that people who knew me would see me the same as always, and they do. It is only people who do not know you that judge you by appearance, and trust me, they do. We all do. You just have to say "What the heck, it is what it is." Be proud of who you are!

There's a difference between people who have tatoos and people who don't - Those who do don't care if you don't! It's really nobody's business. I have 2 and plan to get a 3rd after I'm done having babies. I've found that most people don't mind it, and you'd be surprised at how many people have them. Like someone else said, I feel bad for people who can't look past something on the surface to get to know you!

I have no problems with most tattoos. The big ones that take over the whole face just scare me, but if that's how people want to express themselves then more power to them! I don't find these people to be any different than I am. I have a tattoo as well, but for personal reasons is in a place where it is not visible all the time.

The only thing you should consider is this - are you going to be happy to have the tattoo at age 40, 50, 60, 70, 80? I'm glad I got mine, I will not be getting it removed at all, and won't care what it looks like when I am 80.

Hello, S.. I have a 6-year-old daughter, and I have 2 tattoos. One I got when I was 18 (wow, almost 10 years ago...) on my right breast. It's a rosebud. The other I got about 3 years ago. It's a "tramp stamp" of 2 dolphins (the typical circle you see of doplhins). I really don't care what people think of them. As long as I'm happy with them, that's all that matters. My daughter already talks about wanting tattoos. I tell her she can't get any until she's at least 18. Then she doesn't need anyone to sign off on it, and she's the only one she can blame if she decides she made a mistake. So I say, don't let others' opinions bother you. If someone doesn't like it, then it's their problem not yours.

I have a tatoo and I love it. I do notice other moms looking, but it doesn't bother me. I want to teach my son that there are many ways to express yourself and you should never judge someone on how they choose to do it. My advice is to wear your tatoos with pride and find other moms with the same principals. There are a lot of us out there.

As a parent with tattoos I say do as you please if someone is narrow minded enough to judge you or your child by that alone then you probable don't want to socialize with them anyway. Nowadays many people have tats, some like my husband who are repected professionals, and they are more socially acceptable.

No one has the right to make judgements about anyone else. Live your life as you choose and be confident in your decisions and yourself and your children will grow up with this trait as well. There is nothing greater than watching your children grow up with self confidence, self acceptance, accepting others for who they are (not judging people by looks, race, disability, tatoos, how much money someone has, etc).

All I can say is who the hell cares what they think of you. If someone is going to judge you because you have a tattoo, they are obviously are very closed minded individual. I have a tattoo on my back, but even if I did not, I would not judge someone based on that. I am a normal person, and a great mom. Some of the responses on here are great, but others you should ignore.

Enjoy your new tattoo!

Cover it up when in a social setting (involving your child, their school, or rec. events) I don't know that I would let my child come to your house. I would view your tattoo as a sign of irresponsibilty. And I would definitely object to you being able to help in the classroom. You are a parent and a role model. That is not the kind of example that I would want my child to emulate.

I am a mother of 5. & my kids love my tattoos & that's what matters to me. Their friends love it & I really haven't had any flack from anyone, (except my family, they're Mormon). I have my whole right shoulder completely covered & about 70% of my back covered, as well as both my ankles, both underside wrists, my right earlobe & behind my right ear, etc... I think it's fun when I shock people with my "normal conversation" being that I am a college graduate, I can hold my own & then some! GOOD LUCK & GET MORE! =)

Someone WILL judge you no matter what you do. It is a fact of life. You like the tatoo?? Your husband like it? Enough said!

Hi S.!!!
I can see where your confilict would come from. I myself think about this. I too sport not just one tattoo but six! They all have to do with new beginings and remembering others in my family and life. I have found that if you carry yourself like you are what people think about people like us...then theywill treat you like that. If youare yourself and don't put negitivity out then people will like you for you! I personally feel that moms with tattoos rock sometimes a little more than the ones without.
Just thought I would let you know that I'm here for you and have been in the same boat!! If your in my neighborhood your kids are more than welcome to play with mine!
~J.

I have more tattoos than I have kids! Don't worry about what others think and do what makes you happy. If your kids do have an issue with it, try not to wear clothes that show the tattoo to school functions.

Don't worry about it. I have been tattoo'd 17 times. When my kids were small they loved them, now that they are older one of them has followed in my footsteps getting ink too. There will always be someone who will give you dirty looks about it but that is usually from the one that wants one so bad but is afraid to get one. Be proud of your ink!!!

I don't think tattoos are a big deal -- just interesting. I guess I'd feel differently if it were something vulgar in a place where my kids could see it but just a tattoo? I don't really care.

It's funny, one of the other moms at daycare has a lower back tattoo and she was bending over to put her child into his carrier and I saw it. From my brief glimpse, I thought it was interesting but then I got worried that she was going to think I was checking out her butt, lol.

I think a lot of it depends on just what the picture is as to how people will look at it. If it's a pretty tasteful pic I don't think any different of people that have them.
I do have a funny story though.... I used to see this guy at my boys' school w/ big skull and flame tattoos up and down his arms and I always thought to myself 'WOW don't think I'd want to run into that guy alone or in a dark alley' Then a couple yrs ago our little town started a Cub Scout pack back up and when my son joined low and behold who is his Den leader, but the Tattoo Guy 'T'. LOL!!! He is a really nice guy in reality and his wife even used to call him that 'tattooed freak'. I have told him this story a couple of times and we have a good chuckle over it.
I myself would love to get a tattoo of my own sometime, I want my kids footprint off their birth cert. on my thigh. I saw a girlfriend that did it on her shoulder and it looked so nice!! Certainly something I wouldn't mind growing old w/!!

Rock on! My husband and I thinking of getting tattos with their initials on our arms. I say you are a cool mom. If other people judge, than, thats their problem. Just because we're moms doesn't mean we have to act all conservative, right? What tatoos palor did you get your done at?

S. my dear... I have three, my husband has 11. If someone has a problem with them then it's thier problem. If they judge you becuase of them then they're not worth it.

Good luck to ya hon.

~R.

As evidenced by the number of tattoo shows on TV, the taboo is gone for our generation. It's the older folk you need to worry about. I wouldn't sweat it. Also, I have a few and no one looks as me funny.

I have had a tattoo since I was eighteen and have yet to regret it (as people always say you will). My husband and I are into the punk music scene and our styles tend to get a bit "out there." We don't drink or steal or smoke, or anything else of the sort, but when my dh walks into Wal-Mart with our two year old daughter, he gets dirty looks. Actually, once he had a mall cop follow them all around the mall until he got to Gymboree, where I was shopping for my daughter. He saw me join them and realized that he was NOT a predator or something. Long story short, yes, people do judge sometimes. And it really hurts when it happens, but as long as your aren't doing anything wrong, it really isn't anyones business if you have a tattoo.

I once had a co-worker who got a rather large tatoo on the inside of her lower arm. Before I had even seen it, I had heard that the management team (a bunch of conservative insurance fogies) were somewhat perturbed by the tatoo. They had asked her to make sure it was concealed at all times during client meetings.

When I finally saw it, I was surprised to find the tatoo was no more than a couple of initials surrounding a heart. It was a tatoo paying tribute to her parents. I thought it was a lovely tatoo especially knowing what it meant to my friend. However, I can also understand how others are quick to judge or discriminate them.

Depending on your occupation, it may never even be an issue. You should just enjoy it since I'm sure it's beautiful.

Dear S.;
your uniqueness should come from who you are as a person inside, not from external trappings such as piercings, tattos, or shocking or immodest clothing. Your body is sacred as as such, should be respected. You will have it for a long time and the day may come that you will regret your youthful decisions. Have you ever seen an 80 yr. old with sagging tattos? It's pretty rediculous. While we shuold not judge people based on external appearances, what a person does to the external says a lot about the internal. My advice is to stay away from the "bad girl" look because you have watching eyes who will push the envelope when they are teens. By keeping your appearance clean, you will be teaching a far better lesson to your children about self-respect, which should include the body.

Plz don't take this the wrong way, but didn't u think of how u would be precieved before u got the tatoo? I am not against tatoos but I have to say, I do hear and see the whispers about "moms with tatoos". Who cares what others think. If u feel good about yourself good for you! Enjoy your tatoo & keep smiling!

Hi S.,

I know you have many responses already but I wanted to add mine to the list. I am a very proud mom of 5 wonderful kiddos and a great husband! I have 8 tattos and I have my nose peirced. I have a great job and no one judges me. If they did I would tell them it is a matter of choice. Oh, I am also 34 years old. Not sure if that matters. i also plan on getting another one this weekend. It is your body so you can do what you want with it. Don't worry what others think as long as you know you are a good person and are a good person that will shine through!

I really wanted a tattoo in my 20s but wouldnt dream of disprespecting my parents and my boyfriend didnt like them at the time- he is now my husband. I am so glad I didnt do it. a few tatto's I think is fine but I really dislike it when people are covered in them. I just think eww. I dont think I judge by them- I like to think I judge by ones character. If you are a good, respectful, honest person and the kids are as well thats whats important. my nice got a tatto of some japanese sign on the back of her neck- my first thought was she has no money, none is in tons of debt owes her mother 10 thousand dollars and other people money why is it she can afford cigarettes and tattos? I dont think I am judging by the tatto in itself but character.

Unfortunatly I think the majority will judge you because of it. Society just has not come along on not prejuding what a person may do to their looks. I'd say just wear sleeved shirts to school functions, but if it's who you are why hide it. A tatto does not mean your a bad mom and don't teach your kids right from wrong. If you can stand the judgement and keep your head high don't worry about it. People need to start looking under the skin not at the skin. I'm sure this comment was not much help but I dislike prejudgement. Mom of triple threat