Tantrums... in a 3-1/2 Month Old?? What a Grouchy Bear!

My daughter, who is now almost 2, was like that. She just preferred to not be laying down. It was almost like she was afraid that she would miss something if she wasn't sitting up.
We found that if we propped her up with pillows so that she was sitting up then she was content.
Also we found that if going into town and there are more than one adult in the car, it helped if we had one of us sit by her. she didn't like to be in her car seat because she knew that meant she wouldn't be able to see us for a while. Good luck and hang in there it should get better.

When my daughter was that age (she's 5 now) she did the exact same thing. We had to walk around with her upright with her back against our side and her stomach would rest against our arm. It seemed to soothe her. The dr. said she was colicky. She HATED the carseat and car rides then too. She would cry the whole way. We discovered that it was all due to G.E.R.D.S which is like acid reflux I beleive. We had to give her liquid zantac for a few months until all of a sudden she grew out of it! I hope this helps!

Your son sounds exactly like my youngest son. Starting at about 6 weeks...he turned into a total crab. NOTHING would make him happy. He cried non-stop and it was very, very frustrating. It was determined that he had colic but I'm not so sure. I think he's just a grumpy guy.

He's 19 months old now...much happier but still pretty high needs, in my opinion. I'd say the severity of the colic lasted until he turned 4-5 months..then it tapered off.

The only thing I could do for him was love him. And, really, that's the only advice I have for you. Love him and he'll grow out of it. My guy HATED the carseat but as soon as he was able to be turned around, he got over it. Now he's not even phased. I'm sure because he knows he's going bye-bye.

Hang in there and HUGS! Oh and I'm assuming you've already ruled out gas, reflux and milk allergies...if not, talk to your ped.

Oh, I feel for you! My son was the same way. He is now 11 months old and still the same story. It seemed to get better once he was able to get around a little bit by himself- crawling and now almost walking. One thing that you didn't mention was Reflux. My son had Reflux so it would actually hurt for him to lay down flat (or for some reason the car seat was a terrible one too- he'd always spit up in there) That might be one thing to check out. Good Luck!

My first take on this is that it's a -laying back- issue with him. Maybe he arches his back and squirms when layed down for a nap because he doesn't like to be tipped back like that and then feel pressure on his back. And maybe he struggles when put in the carseat because that tips him back too. He also probably doesn't like the feeling of being immobilized either but, I suggest that issue is not the main one even though lots of babies don't like being strapped down.

Resistance to being tipped back is a sensory issue that is common and normal. Parents are usually pretty quick to figure out that baby calms down when being held upright to the shoulder, bounced, and walked around to calm down. Or that baby seems soothed with pressure on the tummy, which can be done by holding baby face down across your lap. It's soothing to them just lay across your lap as you sway your kneese back and forth slowly. If you do this, just cup baby's head in your hand so that the head isn't dangling there. Belly babies are also commonly belly sleepers as well. My kids were belly sleepers, but not on flat surfaces. They always needed a clump of blanket to curl their bodies around. I think they needed to feel the pressure on their tummies and something to hug onto. Kind of the way I sleep with my body pillow (which is not my husband, ha ha).

The reasons for seeking out or demanding belly pressure and face down position, rather than the head back position could be because of colic, acid reflux, sensory issues around being tipped back, and any number of things.

It sounds like he's doing a pretty good job at training you though...You are a smart and intuitive Momma to have figured out that he likes the upright positions better. I'd continue to follow his prompt and go with it.

A trick: My little one would get nausious in the car when his carseat was tipped back flat. I figured out that I could place the carseat upright as much as possible (allowing his head to remain comfortable), buckle the seat belt real tight across the front of the carseat to hold it in the position, and then, I'd wedge a small cushion pillow in the empty spot behind (under) the carseat to avoid slippage. This was in the days, when my son was still in the rear facing car seat type. So, my front/back might be messed up. I refer to the front as around the feet area where the buckle goes across and the back as in the back side of the carseat. Sometimes the wedged pillow would pop out of position, but it was easy to just poke right back in.

I came up with this after one terrible experience of him burping up a bunch of formula only to choke on it as it pooled in his mouth while I was driving and could not help immediately. It may have been a symtom of acid reflux, but I solved it without meds by adjusting him into a more upright position so that the spit ups would drip down and not get caught in his mouth. However, I do realize that the intensity of acid reflux varies and some kids do require meds, some even more such as surgery.

But, hey, these simple solutions worked for my little guy. He gave us the lead and we listened to him. Still to this day, my little non-head tipper prefers the water dumped over his head in the bathtub rather than leaning back for a shampoo rinsing. Not a problem.

God bless, Good day,

You're already doing a great job at figuring out what he's trying to tell you. Keep up the good work. What a wonderful Momma he has.

YM

Hi, I have 5 kids and all of them were very, VERY, different from one another. My second child, a girl, was just as you explain. She was never happy with anything and screamed the entire time in her carseat or when layed down. She was diagnosed with severe acid reflux and now has to take stomic medican to control it. She is a happy 6 year old now who dreams of marrying a prince and being a Prima Ballarina! Check with your pediatirtion. We tried switching to soy, gas drops and finally found antiacids worked best. Hang in there! There is light at the end of the tunnel you just have to find what works best for your little guy!

I did have a problem with my son and the car seat. I did find out that some babies are in pain in the seat. I saw one women who taught her kids to sign the sign "pain" She found out that the seat hurt her son. As soon as she replaced it, all was right. As far as the napping, I recomend a great book on the sleep patterns of kids. "The no cry sleep solution" It really helped me understand that sleep patterns change and how to cope. My son never really stopped crying untill we flipped him around, so I hope that doesn't happen to you. I did find that if I went right after lunch or nap time he did handle it better

Unfortunately, I don't have any useful tidbits on how to help, but I can tell you there are other babies out there just like your son. We have had similiar problems with out son (now 5 1/2 months old).

Speaking of, he just woke from his 5 minute nap. gotta run, I wish you the very best!

J.,

My littlest guy is only a couple weeks younger than yours and he too has these issues. My eldest son was worse, if you can imagine. Swaddling and baby wearing has been two tricks that worked very well for us.

My son (now 8 mos.) did a similar thing at about that age. I even took him to the doctor. The doctor couldn't explain it. I finally decided it was gas. I read that their digestive system is still maturing and changing. Reeves would just wail and scream like he was in agony. You might try some mylicon when he starts. You might also try rocking his legs back and forth, while his is on his back. I think that the whole car seat position put pressure on his belly and was painful. I know that gas pains can be paralyzing. Know that this too shall pass! At about 4 1/2 to 5 mos Reeves outgrew this.
Good luck! B. :)

Your story is somewhat similar to my 4 month old. He will take a nap during the day if I lay down with him. I can't always do this so when he is not being fed, which includes beieng held and with me almost constantly since he refuses a bottle still, he gets to take turns with his 3 other tolerable places; 1: the exercaucer 2: bouncy chair (where he can teeth on his bear toy) 3: swing (where he talks to the winnie pooh gang)! If I really have to do things in the house I will take him from room to room in the carseat. If all else fails he gets his dad in the evening, he'll walk around the house or hold him watching basketball and he'll fall asleep. He also loves going on long walks in the stroller! Good luck! Hope this helps.

Hi J.-

I also have a 3-1/2 month old and can understand your frustration, however, I can guarantee that he is not having a 'tantrum' as we know them.

Almost certainly, he is overtired - as you suspected. At this age, babies should only be awake for 1-2 hours between sleeps (including feed time) so it is important to try and read his tired signs as soon as he has them so that he doesn't get to his overitred stage, when it makes it incredibly hard to get to sleep. Many babies start to make jerky movements, fuss or stare into space when they are about ready to sleep. When he DOES get to sleep, try to ensure that he sleeps for at least 1-1/2 hours before wakin again, otherwise he will be overtired once more.

As far as not liking his car seat - my little guy is the same. I just make sure I have a pacifier ready (though he often can't keep it in his mouth for all the screaming!) and then get the car going as soon as possible. It seems the constant motion is the only thing that will settle him once he's been 'strapped in'!

Good luck!

Hi J.,
I have a 5 month old who does the same thing with arching and hates to be strapped down. I asked my pediatrician about it, and we think it is a combination of things, so let me ask you a few questions: Was your little guy pre-mature? Did he have to be in the NICU at all after birth? Was he treated for Jaundice? Does he hate to be swaddled? Does he have Reflux? Is he Colic?
Our little guy is a check to all but Colic. Since he was pre-mature and in the NICU under the bili lights for Jaundice, he spent the first week of his life on his back, sprawled out. Most babies are used to being swaddled and tucked in, but in his case, his arms flailing back and pushing on his feet into an arch is like a reflex to him when he tries to move. Also, since he has Reflux, arching is a side effect as well. He is also on baby Zantac and Enfamil A.R. formula for that, which has helped a lot. In our case, he is in physical therapy to try and break these habits, but I'll give you a few exercises you can do for your little guy.
When you are playing with him on his back and he starts arching, gently jiggle his legs as you pull them into his chest and do the same thing with his arms. As he gets older and you are trying to get him to hold toys, it will help bring his arms in. If he keeps arching, try putting him on his tummy. If he doesn't calm down and his arms go flailing out, try putting a rolled recieving blanket under his arms so they stay forward and get down to his level.
Hopefully trying to break him of the arching habbit, whatever reason he might have it, will make traveling a little easier. Its hard seeing them uncomfortable but its gotten better with us, and we've got to a point where we just have to commit to strapping him in, giving him a pacifier, and turning on this Baby Einstein lights and music mirror. That sort of distracts him and once we get going, he usually calms down.
I hope SOMETHING I said works, but if not, just know that you aren't alone. Keep trying different things and ask your Pediatrician for advice. Good luck!

Have you gotten him seen for reflux? You just named most of the symptoms of it. The arching of the back and not wanting to be in any kind of laid down position all points to it, everytime the kid is laid down the stomach acid comes up. I'm not saying your does have it but you just described what both my boys went through and they both have reflux. Talk to your pediatrician about it and if so then zantac is great. Hope this helps!

you find what he does like and stick with it!!
my daughter was the same way!! whew!! she was soo much work!!
when people came over we were like!! whoo-hoo.. wanna hold a baby for us!!

We bounced her on a ball most of the time.. she was a cryer!!
her naps were taken in the swing and lasted about 20 min.. ever couple hours.. when she ws six months we were able to lay her down and let her cry it out.. she finally figured it out.. and it wasn't so bad.
the first few months tho were tourture...
Her naps were short lived and we found that swings and vibrating chairs were our best friend.

He might just like the feeling of movement..

as to the carset.. we forward faced our daughter at 6 months so she wouldn't scream for hours in the car.. (don't yell at me) please) we already did it.. I know the dangers.. But I assumed it really depended on which side of the car got hit...

We just didn't go far if we didn't have to.. we kinda became a slave to our daughter but it was all worth it.. she is a well adjusted 3 year old who loves life!! however we still have issues with her temperment.. she must have ample warning of whats to come.. if we just act quickly she freaks out.. if we tell her five mintues before what is going to happen and warn her of what's to come she's fine.. and is happy to do whatever..

As an infant we did the same thing, told her what was happening at all times, some people might think it is kinda crazy but by treating her like a person we were able to give her the respect I think all humans deserve.

Hope this helps!