B.N. asks from Wesley Chapel, FL on September 22, 2007
R.H. answers from Tampa on September 24, 2007
The only thing that worked for my daughter is ignoring her. Someone told me to ignore the tantrum, and not give her ANY (positive or negative) attention. It worked perfectly! She learned that nothing happens when she does that, and soon stopped.
S.D. answers from Tampa on September 24, 2007
In my opinion, there will always be some tantrums while the kids are growing. She is at a point where she can't communicate verbally efficiently. She is in transition. So.. nothing works like a miracle but these things are helpful.
1. Make sure that you have some special time with her each day. You probably already do but I just mention it because it was HUGE with my one daughter. If I was not giving full attention and cleaning while playing, etc it didn't work.
2. Give her as many simple choices as you can throughout the day. This gives her the power she is craving. (Choice of two works best; water/juice; red/blue shirt; books to read, etc)
3. Remain really calm when she is upset. Tell her you are sorry she's mad; give her her blanket; and go somewhere where you can see her but don't get in her face when she's upset and don't try to give her lots of things to make her happy. When she's calm, then give her attention.
4. Watch when she gets upset, is it when she's realy tired or hungry? Sometimes you can head off things but either not letting her get to those extremes as often or destressing her environment when you know she's tired or hungry.
5. Observe the other situations when she gets upset. Often she may be trying to communicate something that is observable. Once you know why she gets upset, you can help her communicate to you in more approprite ways.
It's not a matter of discipline but showing her how to do things in a more appropriate way, making her environment less likely to be stressful, reinforcing behavior that you like, and teaching her to calm herself.
B.N. answers from Tampa on September 24, 2007
I would suggest don't reward the behavior and remove her from the area if you are in a public place and she is causing a disturbance, as soon as possible. Let her know you don't approve of the behavior verbally and by expressions on your face. Make sure she knows it is the behavior, not her that is the object of your disapproval. If at all possible, take her around and point out objects to look at in her environment or outside, this should help her snap out of it and brighten up, almost always. Also, I found that my kids (and myself for that matter), act up the worse when they are tired or hungry, so getting her down for a nap if she starts getting cranky or getting her a nourishing snack may help keep her from getting that way. Just be sure not to reward the tantram with food or anything else. I hope you find this helpful.
C.E. answers from Tampa on September 23, 2007
The best thing for this that I have done is to just walk away. If you put any attention on it (discipline, trying to reason with them, getting upset) it makes it worse.
If they see that it doesn't get them anywhere, they stop...it's magic, it really works!
Don't say anything when it happens just go about your business and it might take a few times of doing this, but she'll get that it's not going to work for getting what she wants.
I hope this helps!
C.P. answers from Tampa on September 25, 2007
I have 2 girls...they are older but man did my youngest try that. I just ignored her if we were at home. She is looking for a response...testing you. If it was a public place....I would turn around and go right back home.
W.T. answers from Tampa on September 25, 2007
My daughter is the same way with temper tantrums. She is horrible when it comes to tantrums. She will literally hold her breath until she passes out. The doctor told me just to ignore her. It's really hard just to ignore them. If I ignore her she will run over to me and throw her temper tantrum wherever I am. It's really hard to ignore her when she follows me through the house. I would definetly try to ignore her, it may not work but you can try. Whenever she has her tantrums I tell her she isn't being a good girl and I tell her how bad she is being, I usually tell her that after she is done. When she is finally done she realizes how bad she is being. And then she acts like a totally different person. Hopefully my advice works for you. Good luck and hang in there!!!!
A.T. answers from Tampa on September 25, 2007
I am working with my daughter on this. Yes and at 6 months old and no one can believe it lol. She pitches fits when she doesnt get her way like if I am cleaning something and she wants whatever I have or if I am doing laundry etc and she will scream and throw herself backwards. I just keep reinforcing the good behavior and ignoring the bad behavior...Not working yet but my lil one is kinda young.