Taking Away Pacifier Aka Binky.

This brings back the memories!! We learned after a trip to the dentist @ 20 months old that by age 2 was the recommended age to be "pappy" free. Our daughter is a Christmas baby so on Christmas Eve we left all the "pappy's" to the baby reindeer. I was the most nervous of all. I just knew it was going to be a terrible night! To my surprise my daughter only asked for her pappy once, and quickly dropped the subject when my husband and I reminded her the baby reindeer needed them much more than her. We also had already removed it during the day. I have heard of people leaving them to the Easter bunny or the pappy fairy in exchange for gifts. I think if they participate in the excitement of becoming pappy free it helps. Best of luck! I hope your transition is a easy as ours was!!! Take care and God Bless!!

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Why do you want to take away her pacifer? I've read the responses and am amazed by some. First, every child is different and what works for one, might not for another. There are children that need a pacifer and others who don't. You can try taking it away, but if she has a hard time with it, I would give it back. Second, a 19 month old is not a "big kid" so why try to rush her. My pediatric dentist told me that as long as the pacifer is gone by three and a half that was fine. My daughter (who was very attached to her paci) would sleep with it at night. She would spit it out after she fell asleep. One month after she turned three I took it after she went to sleep and put it away. The next day we went to the zoo. On the way home she asked about it and I told her I didn't have it. That was pretty much the end of it. Use your gut instinct. Is she ready to give it up or do you just want her to?

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When my son was 1, we simply just made it 'disappear'. He only fussed a couple of nights. My daughter, however, was very much attached. We kept telling her that on her 4th birthday, we were going to give our binkies to the baby garden fairies in our yard who needed them. I put them all in a special pretty bag, and she got to pick the place to leave them. Later that day, the fairies had taken the bag, and left her one in it's place to say thank you. It was filled with lots of girly gifts! It worked great! (Stole that idea from Super Nanny 911).

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It sounds like you are going through a lot of change right now. Personally, I would wait until things calm down a bit to take away the pacifier since she is only using it to sleep. That is her comfort object, and she might find more comfort than ever from it right now.

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J.,
Sounds like you have a lot on your plate. You may rethink taking away the pacifier. You know even 19 mo olds can sense devorce, she may need the comfort. If it seams that she dosn't mind being without it, that's different, now may be a good time. You could also try replacing it with a blanket... allow her something else to be attached to that dosn't go in her mouth. Divorce is tough stuff, I'll pray for you.
A. B

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Wow, sounds like a very stressful time for both of you.

The real danger of having a pacifier for too long is that it can effect the growth of your child's mouth and teeth. My daughter was two when I got rid of hers. She said " pacifier" clear as a bell. I thought any child who can say that obviously doesn't need one.

Perhaps you can start by reinforcing with your child how she is becoming a "big girl" and isn't a little baby anymore. Then I'd let her be the one who puts that old binky in the trash.

Good luck and don't feel guilty if you decide to let her keep it just a little longer. When you are in the middle of a divorce, a toddler who can't get to sleep is the last thing you need.

We're actually going through the same thing with my daughter this weekend. She'll be 3 in July. I had wanted the binky gone by the time she was 2, but we moved twice last summer while building a house, then I thought we should get through potty training and just do one big transition at a time...and now a year later, here we are. Yesterday, we took my son for his 15 month checkup, and I had my daughter ask her doctor (whom she idolizes!) what she thought of binkies for big girls. The Dr. said that binkies were fine for babies, but that big girls can fall asleep without them. My daughter burst into tears, but I think it was because she was accepting that the doctor had the "official" word on the topic, and she'd be saying goodbye to the binks. So, after the appointment, I made her a deal. She could get a "big girl pet" (a betta fish) in trade for her binkies. She went for the deal, and we picked out a lovely blue fish named Leah Schoolbus...she wanted Schoolbus for the first name, but we compromised and made it the middle name :-) We got a bowl, pink & purple gravel, fake plant, the whole 9 yards, and the fish kept her company last night. Bedtime was about an hour of tears before she konked out, but I actually thought it could've been worse. She woke up twice in the night, but that's not unusual for her. It wasn't easy for her because she's had it every night since she was a week or two old. It might have been easier in some ways to do it sooner, but we were able to use a little more logic and reason with her since she was older. However, I think she was more physically and emotionally attached because she's older. She really thought she needed it, and understood what she was giving up, and got kind of nervous about it. That being said, we made a big deal out of how brave she was last night, and how proud we were, and it wasn't nearly as rough as I thought it would be. I hope there's something in here that might help you...best wishes, and good luck. Just remember, when you make the decision to ditch it, don't give in, no matter how hard it is to listen to her cry. If you do, it just teaches her to cry for an hour, then you'll cave and give it back. Hang tough for a few days, and from everything I've read, it'll be OK. Good luck!!

You say that you're going through a divorce?? That's a major upset in your daughter's life. Do you really think now is the time to take the paci away?? Isn't she going through enough right now?

I only went through this once years ago. My daughter was about 18 months old. I talked this over with my daughter and explained how she was going to be such a big girl and what we needed to do. She helped me gather up all her bubbas and we threw them away and took them away from the house. She did cry that night for one and a about two more and that was it. We had been down to using it only at night so it went really well. It broke my heart because she sounded so sad and wanted to be so big but she did it. She is 27 now and doesn't remember a thing :o)

D.

I have three children (ages 2, 4, 6) who all took the binky until they were almost 2. Around 20 months or so, we just cut the tip off right before bed time. They all got mad that it was 'broken' and ended up throwing it away on their own. They slept good afterwards, too. Not nearly as traumatic as I always think it will be. They seem to have an easier time adjusting than I do! (It is so hard for me to do!) Good luck!!

I read on the internet that you can cut just the tip of the binky off and the child will just throw it down. I told a friend and it is working for her!
Good Luck!

This one I know about. I use to have BINKYS all ove the place. When I finally decided that it was time, I only let her have them at nap time or bed time. I then got rid of all but 2. One for the home and one for Grandma's house. As a little time went on (after she got use to only bed time or nap time), I told her I couldn't find the one at home from time to time, so she would start getting use to sleeping without one. Eventually, she was told they were not to be found. (I still knew where the one was, but she didn't have to know that). I kept it for awhile until she got to where she slept without one all the time. I then threw it away. It worked for me, but I didn't push the matter all at once.

Just take it away. Thats what I did w/ my 14 month old at the time. He cried sometimes for about 3 days, but he got over it. Find something to distract her when she starts to cry for it. Good luck.

That is about the time that I took my daughter's pacifer (we call the bippies, why I don't know). I had gotten her to the point where she could only have them in the bed and then I used a trick that I saw on Supernanny and it worked beautifully. We decorated a paper bag, the kind you would put lunches in, went around the house and gathered up all the bippies. I told her that there were babies out there who weren't as lucky as she was and didn't have any. I asked if she wanted to share them with these babies. Then I told her about the "Bippy Fairie" who would come and get them and leave a big girl present for her, I chose a doll she could cuddle with at night. She, reluctantly, put them all in the bag and then we hung it from a tree outside. I had to distract her for a little while so we went to McD's and then came home and she had forgotten about it. She went to bed with a little fight but once she was asleep she was fine. When she got up in the morning she went to the tree to look for them and found the doll. She asked for about a week and I reminded her about the Bippy Fairie and she soon forgot about them. I didn't have any more trouble until baby #2 got here and I would catch her stealing the baby's out of the crib at night. Once I convinced her that she was a big girl, by then almost 3, she left them alone. Hope this helps and good luck!

Hi J.,

L. again. Can you tell that my list of things to do is a mile long and that I am procrastinating? (But my ADD is for another thread, ha ha)

I forgot to mention re: the divorce (unless you are a different J. B.) that if you haven't already started, keep a log of everything that goes on. I was supposed to, and only saved random thoughts. Those have come in handy, but I would be in a better position if I had been consistent (i.e. - he claims that he is SUPER DAD, but I found out that he leaves them at home alone when he runs to the local coffee shop to get a cup. - I do have that, but he claims that he has had more time with the girls than he really has, and I did not keep an accurate record of that...)

Back to the binky. Or should I say THE BINKY. My daughter was addicted like crack. Not only did she have to have it around at all times, it had to be a certain one. I was sure that I'd be sending her to high school with one in her backpack.

From other mom advice, I heard to just cut the tip off. Which I finally did. There is no suction at this point, and I just told her 'it's broken, let's throw it away.' And she did. No scene, no drama, no anything. It was crazy. She did ask to get a new one at the store, and I simply said no.

It was amazing!!!

good luck,

L.

Explain to your kids that they are big kids now and big kids don't need binkies. Then have them throw them away say "yucky old things, who needs em?". When they ask for them just tell them to remember that they are big kids and we threw them away because big kids don't need them. Shannon

Why take it away right now? your family is going through enough transition already, maybe it brings her comfort in this changing time in your lives. My pediatric dentist said that binks were ok but had to be gone by age 4 to avoid dental issues. Otherwise, just take it away. it'll be rough for a few nights but she will forget about it in a week or so. best of luck in your new situation.

Don't know if it will help but I gave my 2 yr old when she was 21 months old a transitioin blanket. I also told her when she asked for it that she was a big girl now and didn't need it. It worked and for a time she did ask but over time it was fewer and fewer times and now she hasn't asked for it in almost a month.

I think your doing well by having it away during the day. My now 8 year old took a binky and what I did was snip the top so there was really no way for it to be sucked on and she would say it was broke and then just gave it up...Snipping alittle away each evening and finally it was gone...She also just preferreed to hold it instead of putting it in her mouth since it was broken...Good Luck
Jen mom of 10 and 8 year old girls!!!!

I waited till my daughter was almost three to take hers and it was horrible. I took it away during the day and let her keep it at night as you did. then one day i told her the pacifier fairy came and gave took them for all the new babies. i took them out of the house because i feared i would break and give it back. the first night we slept 2 hours. The second night we slept 4. by the third day it was a distant memory. we replaced the pacifier with her favorite stuffed animal and to get her to calm down before sleeping read nighttime books. good luck. It will be rough, but short lived!!!

I waited until my son's second birthday when I knew he had the concept of something being broken, and after slowly decreasing the amount of time he had it, then I cut the nipple off and said "oh no, its broken!" and I threw it away. He seemed to understand and never asked for it again.
Good luck!

Cut small holes in it which will change the sucking purpose of it. She may not like it at first but eventually she will understand.

You may not want to try this but with my son we just had to let him cry it out at night for about a week. He was doing the same thing, not during the day and only at night. It was a hard week, but it worked. Good luck!

I have worked in daycares for the past 5 years... if you cut off the tip of it, it will be a lot harder for her to suck on it. and then just keep cutting the tip of it off as the days go on..
Hope this works, it wont hurt to try it!!!!
good luck

for my son i just went cold turkey and surprisingly he did just fine even day 1, i have heard people say they talked their child into actually throwing that "yucky old thing" away all by themselves, saying "big kids don't need that anymore"...etc

With both of ours....we just threw them away! Our son was 18 months old and our daughter was 13 months old. According to all the articles I read it only takes them 72 hours to get over it. Mine took less then that. Mine only used it for naptime and bedtime too, I think that helped. Just once you take it....DON'T give it back! Good Luck....it isn't as bad as you would think!

I took away my daughter's pacifier when she was two and a half, and I regret even letting it go on that long, I should have taken it away when she was a year and a half. My advice is, just take it away, all of them, cold turkey, hide them, trow them away, don't even let her see another one, out of sight, out of mind, that is what worked for my daughter, she screamed for about an hour, then she got over it and eventually forgot all about them.

For me the passie is not a big deal until they start to need it even when they don't need soothing. I knew a kid one time who played while he sucked on one and held the other (he was 5). That's extreme. But that's just how one mom does it. You should do it the way that seems best for you and your little girl.

Before I even tried to take away the passie I would incorporate a lovie into the mix. Something like a blankie or stuffed animal that she holds when she goes to sleep. Give it to her when she is sick or hurting too so that she starts to look at that as her soother and not the pacifier. Once you have something in line to take the passie's place you will have an easier time taking away the passie. This is how she soothes and copes with stress right now, so she needs another tool if you are eliminating that one. Also I would instigate a bedtime routine for right when you lay her down. For my son it was 1 story, 1 sip of water, 1 hug, 1 kiss, lay down with "valentine bear", cover up, sweet dreams and lights out. He got so used to the routine that he didn't have a hard time with bed. It was kind of beautiful really.