M.P. asks from Cerritos, CA on June 07, 2011
Take Baby with Us on Vacation?
OK, here is my dilemma. I have a 7 year old and a 6 month old. In August my husband and I want to take our 7 year old to Atlantis in the Bahamas. My kids godmother (who is my best friend) has offered to watch the 6 month old for the 5 days we will be gone. Her mom will stay at my house with the baby for the first two days and the rest of the week my best friend will stay there with him. I trust both of them completely--in fact I don't trust anyone else with my kids. The question is this: do I leave the baby and take my daughter or do I take the baby with us?? I feel guilty leaving him because I know I'll miss him and it will feel like part of our family is missing. On the other hand, he doesn't travel well and only sleeps in his crib and it would admittedly be nice for me and hubby to have a break. I think it might be better for the baby not to go this time and he will be more comfortable at home but my colleagues at work have me feeling guilty about leaving him behind. What do you guys think? For those of you who have traveled with a baby, any tricks/tips? How do I get him to sleep on the plane when he usually cries until he gets in his crib? Any gadgets you can recommend if we do take him (the sun is so hot over there and he's very fair skinned). Will he feel abandoned if I leave him?
Thanks!
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K.B. answers from San Francisco on June 07, 2011
My sister took a similar trip this spring break with her husband, 8-month-old son and 10-year-old daughter. I don't think she regrets it, but it wasn't quite what she wanted. Basically they tag-teamed the whole time, so it was very little "whole family time." The baby had to nap, so one adult would take him back up to the room to sleep, while the other had the big girl down at the pool or the beach. This is not Disney World, where you can throw the baby in a stroller and walk him with you as a group, this is a beachy, water-based place where strollers are not that easy to push in the first place.
You have have amazing friends you trust to watch him where he'll be most comfortable, he'll be well taken care of, and the rest of the family will get a fantastic vacation. Leave him home, he won't feel abandoned.
3 moms found this helpful
T.C. answers from Dallas on June 07, 2011
For me, six months is too young to leave a baby. It WILL be more complicated to take him, but I wouldn't even consider leaving him. We've gone to Disney World and Sea World with a baby and to some special family camps with a baby and it is complicated and not as fun for me, since I tend to be the one taking care of the baby. But, I just wouldn't feel right - for me - to leave the baby. You need to look at how you really feel and decide what is right for YOU. It is definitely more complicated, but then you have the special memories with the baby involved too. My babies fell asleep in my arms. They did cry on the plane...and it was stressful...but I was glad to have them with me! :-) good luck deciding what to do.
1 mom found this helpful
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M.P. answers from Sacramento on June 07, 2011
Leave him home - he will not remember, he will be in his own environment and you all will have a much better time! I know it is hard, but you can call and check on him every day. And don't worry, he will still know who you are when you get back!! I wouldn't try to take a 6 month old.
5 moms found this helpful
T.S. answers from San Francisco on June 07, 2011
Go! Leave the baby! What a special trip for you, your husband and daughter.
I am saying this a mama who exclusively breastfed, and while I don't regret THAT decision, I do regret not getting away more when they were small. You will ALL have a better time, including the baby, and he will not "miss" you in the same sense you will "miss" him.
I was a wreck the first time I left my kids, they were two and four at the time. My four year old was only a little sad, my two old didn't care one way or another (they were at grandmas) and after 24 hours of being gone I was the most happy and relaxed I had been since having become a mom.
Go go go!!!
4 moms found this helpful
A.A. answers from Las Vegas on June 07, 2011
He will be fine, leave him. You and your husband and daughter could really use the quality time. He wont even remember how long your gone. He will be very happy to see all of you when you get back.
3 moms found this helpful
K.B. answers from San Francisco on June 07, 2011
My sister took a similar trip this spring break with her husband, 8-month-old son and 10-year-old daughter. I don't think she regrets it, but it wasn't quite what she wanted. Basically they tag-teamed the whole time, so it was very little "whole family time." The baby had to nap, so one adult would take him back up to the room to sleep, while the other had the big girl down at the pool or the beach. This is not Disney World, where you can throw the baby in a stroller and walk him with you as a group, this is a beachy, water-based place where strollers are not that easy to push in the first place.
You have have amazing friends you trust to watch him where he'll be most comfortable, he'll be well taken care of, and the rest of the family will get a fantastic vacation. Leave him home, he won't feel abandoned.
3 moms found this helpful
M.M. answers from Los Angeles on June 08, 2011
I'm completely stunned by all the responses that say "Go!" A child of six months cannot comprehend that Mommy and Daddy are "on vacation" == they simply experience that the people they love are gone -- with no understanding that they will return. I think it would be absolutely traumatic for your baby, and regardless of how good a babysitter your friend is -- a child of that age cannot understand that you are returning. I actually know someone who is in therapy now -- whose parents left for a month when he was 9 montha old -- and he deals consistently with abandonment issues that the therapists believes stems from that time.
Now maybe you think that's over the top -- but when a child is old enough to understand "Mommy and Daddy will be back in a few days" then I think it's OK to go. But before then -- your baby is totally dependent on your for a sense of trust and consistency in the world. For your whole family to vanish (which is how a baby experiences it) for five days (an eternity to a child who experiences their needs moment to moment) just seems unnecessarily harsh.
Bottom line - I'd -save Atlantis for next year. It's not going to give you alone time with your husband (schedule some date nights for that), go to a water park for your 7 year old (Atlantis is basically a big slide and beaches) and perhaps if you're near beaches, consider renting a beach cottage for a few days with the whole family. One gal's opinion!
2 moms found this helpful
M.D. answers from Minneapolis on June 07, 2011
When my husband and I went on our honeymoon my son (from a previous relationship) was 3 and he did just fine, I called him and talked to him on the phone and to find out how things were going, we were down in St. Maartin and I bought phone cards to call home.
1 mom found this helpful
J.B. answers from Atlanta on June 07, 2011
I would leave him. You'll all have more fun and your daughter would probably relish some time with you two. He'll never remember!
1 mom found this helpful
T.C. answers from Dallas on June 07, 2011
For me, six months is too young to leave a baby. It WILL be more complicated to take him, but I wouldn't even consider leaving him. We've gone to Disney World and Sea World with a baby and to some special family camps with a baby and it is complicated and not as fun for me, since I tend to be the one taking care of the baby. But, I just wouldn't feel right - for me - to leave the baby. You need to look at how you really feel and decide what is right for YOU. It is definitely more complicated, but then you have the special memories with the baby involved too. My babies fell asleep in my arms. They did cry on the plane...and it was stressful...but I was glad to have them with me! :-) good luck deciding what to do.
1 mom found this helpful
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