Tacky??? or Not?

Yep. A gift is bonus, and unless the party guest asks, I suggest you and your son accept it graciously.

We were invited to a 4th bday party last year via email. Not only did the mom send the restaurant estimate attached (whether that was an oversight or deliberate, I can only guess), but she included a detailed list of what NOT to buy her kid. Whoa. What do I look like, Santa Claus? The birthday girl got a book from us, and should consider herself lucky I didn't give her a handknit itchy wool cap to spite her mother.

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Sorry--this IS tacky! By writing this, you are implying that a gift is expected. That is rude. You are inviting friends to celebrate with you, not to bring gifts. If people ask, fine. Also, I always have a refresher course with my kids prior to party time. "what do you say if you don't like the gift?": Thank you. "What do you say if you already have one?": Thank you. etc.

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I don't think this is a "yes" or "no" question. It really depends on your family/friends. My family is always all about what size he wears and what does he like (no specifics though, he does not get "whatever he wants", he gets what people would like to get for him). I think it's a great idea, however you really have to evaluate your friends and family. Ask a few that are closer to you to get a better idea how they might react. I think that is the best way to go because some families might find it extremely tacky and others might not. Although we would never say "gifts are expected", come on, its not like every one is going to show up empty handed and for some people shopping for a little kids gift is like shopping blind folded, so a little guidance is certainly appreciated. I'd rather bring the give I knew he fit into/loved than the gift that mommy had to return!

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YES -it's completely tacky! Others may say they like knowing what a kid wants, but if they are really at a loss then they can ask when they call or email an RSVP. Also, depending on how many people you invite, he may wind up with lots of repeats if they all feel like they've been roped into only three toy types or clothes. Some of my children's favorite toys and gifts have been things none of us had ever seen or heard of before!

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B.,
Sorry, not good manners. I always call the mom to get ideas. Hopefully your guests will do the same.
Hope your son has a great birthday.
V.

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Yes, it's tacky. If they want to know, they will call and ask. If not, you can always return items.

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Including gift ideas in an invitation is ALWAYS tacky, no matter how nicely you word it. If people call to ask, you can tell them, but otherwise, ick.

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I think parents can respond differently to this. I personally love to know these things and think its super helpful because I'm going to get a gift anyway, and would prefer to have it be the right size and something the kid likes.

iwould say taky. if u put sizes and ideas, then that is implying that a gift is required. and thats kind of rude if you ask me.. no offense

B.-
Honestly, I didn't think it was tacky to tell sizes and what your son likes, but I guess that assumes a gift is expected. And that is tacky. Maybe the invite could give an "update" __________ is growing so much, he already wears size _________. It's so much fun watching him with his Thomas trains and he loves to use his construction trucks and build with his GeoTrax. I know that some will still consider this tacky, but never as tacky as being told "no gifts please. The boys are saving for a Nintendo PSP each. Money would be greatly appreciated." This was in an invitation to a b-day party for 8 year old twins. I gave them each a yo-yo. So it could backfire?!?!?
S.

tacky. thomas is ridiculously expensive. i wouldn't expect people to spend that much these days. the idea should be to have a party your son will enjoy - and my three year old is just as happy with a truck from dollar general.

As you can see from your responses different people will take it differently. If it were me I would write this on the invitations of close friends and family, thoses individuals who know you well enough to know that your intention was to be helpful. For those you don't know as well, his friends from preschool, etc. just leave it off. Also, if you choose invitations that reflect one of his interests (Thomas or construction trucks) I guarantee he'll end up with many toys that go along with that theme. For my first son we sent Elmo invitations to our family just because we thought they were cute, my son wasn't really that into Elmo. Well after that he had every Elmo toy known to man!!

Good luck,
K.

I think you'd do better to spread the word verbally about the toys he's into and his current size, instead of writing it on the invite. When you put it in writing, people feel like they HAVE TO buy that stuff, that it's expected of them, and not a gift from the heart. A few well-timed comments as to his favorite toys and clothing size and a request to friends/family to pass the info along does the same thing as putting it in the invitation without crossing the line into tacky. Good luck!

Another vote for tacky. If people want to know, they will ask (I always do). But to preemptively include a gift list is presumptuous.

Hi B., i think Karen gave to the best advice, also I know for me, when I call to R.S.V.P I always would ask the child's size and what he or she might like to have, so maybe others will do the same. J.

I think this is a great idea! I hate trying to figure out a present to buy for someone - children especially - when I don't know what they like and what they want. I would rather give someone something that they actually rather than wasting my money on something that will sit unopened. I say go for it.

Tacky. Only if people ask do you give them ideas.

Just because you print it, doesnt make it tacky. My daughter and I got invited to a four year olds b-day party two weeks ago. I took up more of that mothers time with e-mails about what he "likes". Just put it in there. If people dont like it, dont buy it. I would have LOVED something along the lines of....Johnny like Diego, Dinosaurs and Sesame Street...he also wears a size 4T pant and shirt"...would have made MY job easier. I dont think people think that thats rude...if they do....what of it?

Margo

To date, we have only invited family to our birthday parties. I inevitably get calls/emails about gift suggestions. I don't know that I would include gift suggestions on invitations to those who aren't family or very close friends, but for family what I do is send out the invitations a month before the party (we have an active family with calendars that fill up quickly). Then a week or so later I send out an email saying something to the effect, "Gifts are not necessary but if you are planning to buy a gift and are at a loss for ideas below are some suggestions."

Tacky. If he likes Thomas, send Thomas invitations. People will call if they want direction. And there are always gift receipts!

I don't think it would be tacky if you word it right. I would probalby say something like gifts are not necessary. However if you would like to get a gift and need a suggestion here are some charaters he likes..
I don't think all Thomas things are expensive because you can just buy a book or something small like that. It doesn't have to be a train or something expensive. I recently went to a party and bought 2 thomas books for the b-day boy and they were 2.99 each. So under 6.00 for both how much cheaper do people want you to be?

I personally DON'T think it's tacky, however, I also think some people will see it as tacky. It's a fine line, but I always ask the parents what their children would want, what they like, that kind of thing, I think the way you suggested would make it easier, and is more than helpful. Maybe if you added to the card, something along the lines of "This is in case you need clothes size, or my sons toy interests, but please feel free to get whatever you like, IF you choose to purchase him a gift".
But I think it makes it easier on everyone, so well done. I think I'll do the same with my daughter when she starts having B-day parties!
J.

I dont think its tacky because I want to get the kids what they like. Initially I thought it was tacky and for my sons 1st bday did not put it on the invites and had 20 phone calls of why didnt you put your sons size and favs on the invitation, what does he like, what size do he wear?...so from now on I will.

tacky sweetheart.
you can tell family members this is what he needs (if you're asked) but you can't tell people what to get. most people spend 5-10 dollars on a gift for a child's friend so you will assume they want to spend more.