Swimming and Periods

I definitely knew girls using tampons when we were 12-13 years old. I think it would be ok for her to wear them just for swimming and wear pads the rest of the time if you're not comfortable with tampons yet. She should definitely ask her friends what they do, or you could talk to their moms if she's too embarrassed. I'd hate to see her miss out on a chance for an elite swim team because of her period!

K.
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That is your decision. I don't think any of us can tell us what is right for your family.

Both of my daughters have been heavily into dance, same basic problem with close-fitting leotards. My older daughter never had problems with tampons. Some brands have smaller sizes. It did not interfere with her "virginity" as she told me that her first time with her partner resulted in a lot of bleeding. It did not make her grow up faster or result in early sexual activity.

My younger daughter is built much smaller. Any attempts have been very painful for her. She is embarassed by the whole topic. Her doctor says they can do an office procedure to make it possible for her, but I think that should be her decision, not mine. I'm not sure how she has managed to keep her napkins from seeing with some of her costumes, but somehow she has managed.

If I were in your shoes I would let my daughter decide. Letting her wear tampons is not like allowing her to be promiscuous--it would simply enable her to attend her practices. Girls in earlier generations were not faced with so many of these athletic endeavors, so issues like this were non-exhistent.

I hope this has been of some use.

Good luck and best wishes.

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N., don't hold her back from something she excels in because of a natural thing! Come on, buy her the slenders, teach her to use them and just let go. I know it's hard. My mom didn't want me to use them at first, either, when I was a girl. The she talked to her gynecologist and he asked, "Why not??" End of story. You have a soon-to-be teenager on your hands ... let her soar and enjoy watching the flight :)

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I got my period early and my mom I guess thought I was too young to use tampons too. Whatever the case she didn't bother to teach me about them or show me how to use them. I was mortified when I had to turn down my friends for swim dates, etc. I finally just told my mom I was going to use them. I took them from her bathroom and really had a frustrating, difficult and discouraging time. I had a hard time with tampons for a long time after that. I guess what I'm saying is that I wish my mom would have just helped me and showed me how to use them. How can someone old enough to GET their period be too young for tampons? If you are putting some weird sexual thing about tampons in your mind, you are only going to make her ashamed of her body and what it does. She has her period. She is a woman. No matter how much you still want her to be your baby. Her not using tampons is holding her back from something she wants to do. You need to suck it up and teach her how to use them. You will be doing her a favor. Periods are a fact of life and not something a girl should be ashamed of or embarrassed about. I think you need to show her that there are solutions to every situation when you are on your period, that life goes on and that it doesn't have to be a big deal. She probably already feels really self conscious about having her period and she needs you to be nonchalant and matter of fact about it. If you don't make it a big deal it won't be.

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Hi N.,
I know this has been a tough decision for you but I really feel you should let her try using tampons if she is willing. Maybe even encourage her if at this point she is nervous because you have seemed nervous about it. If she truly loves swimming (and is seems as if she does) I think she will regret not being able to participate at this elite level! Please don’t let her begin to have negative feeling about her body and being female at such an impressionable age. I don’t think you want to send her the message that because she is a girl, she can’t always pursue her dreams. Certainly using them just on swimming days would be a great compromise and practicing with them before an early morning swim practice is also a good idea. I always thought the directions on Tampax brand were very good. Just googled and the large tampon brands have websites just for girls with very detailed directions. Also, a little bit of KY jelly on a plastic applicator would make it very easy when she is first trying. Lots of luck to your daughter – swimming and otherwise!

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I think tampons are okay even at this age. But I try to go natural in all parts of my life. I also have had reactions (weird vaginal pain and irritation) to the chemicals in pads and tampons, so 2 years ago I started using cloth menstrual pads and organic 100% cotton tampons. I use the tampons when I am going swimming, or would just feel more comfortable wearing a tampon versus a pad.

There is also something called the Diva Cup that seems to be more safe than regular tampons.

You can google Diva Cup, Natracare cotton tampons, luna pads, cloth menstrual pads, etc.

I am not a big supporter of birth control pills, especially for young girls, unless absolutely necessary.

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Twelve is not too young to use tampons. If her body is mature enough to menstruate, then it should be able to accommodate at least the junior size tampons. Your daughter should be able to figure out for herself whether she is comfortable using tampons or not. A word of warning, however. The illustrations that are on the instructions that come with the tampon box are usually so vague and hard to understand, that she might not be able to use tampons. No one should force her to swim wearing a pad. That would be an extremely cruel thing to do to a 12 year old.

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I think you should talk to her about using tampons. I started using them the summer before my 13th b-day. I remember I was a little scared but was more relieved in the end that I didn't miss out on any fun river trips with family and friends. I only used them while I was swimming and used pads the rest of the time. It worked great for me. There are a ton of different types out there now some made just for teens. Good Luck!

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Your comment..."I think she is too young" is about you. What about her? What does she want? Ask her. If she is old enough to get her period she is now old enough to to decide how to handle it. Let her grow intothe woman she is becoming.

B.
Family Success Coach

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At 12 she should be fine. However, I feel that menstrual cups are a better choice. They are safer, more comfortable and can be worn for longer periods of time. You can buy reusable or disposable ones. These are the ones we use: http://www.softcup.com/

Good luck!

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She's old enough to get her period so why isn't she old enough to use a tampon? My mom was very "old school" and didn't teach me how to use tampons - she used pads her whole life. I was very shy about talking about my period with my mom. I was a very active soccer player and my mom had me safety pin the pad to my underwear! How unsafe but also I always leaked and running having those pins rub against me...no good!
I felt held back in my soccer talents when I had my period. I just wanted to sit on the sidelines and no one knew why. How horrible that I had to go through that. When I finally taught myself how to use a tampon I just looked back at how using it earlier could have changed my life! I wouldn't have felt so hampered by my period.
You are her teacher and you should give her the opportunity to do what she'd like. What's the big deal about a tampon anyway? It's not sexual! It's one of the greatest inventions ever!!!
I also feel like kids these days are more open...she will probably talk to a friend of hers about it and learn from her. Wouldn't you rather be the one to teach her? I wish I wasn't so embarassed back then to openly talk to my mom about this stuff and feeling so closed up about something that happens to every single female in the world was just wrong!
Don't let having a period hold your daughter back in sports (and in life) like it did me back then.

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when i was 12 my mom told me how to use a tampon- after i asked what do i do when i swim? she told me how to use it and gave me a mirror and told me to try if i needed help she was right there. It took about 4 or so before i figured it out. it wasnt embarassing because she gave me her permission then my privacy.
i'm not sure what it is that makes you uncomfrtable about your daughter using tampons but when i was young my friends whos mothers didnt let them felt it would in some way give their daughters permission to have innaproppriate relationships with boys. i asure you my mother was very clear about when sex was OK and even though I started using tampons at 12 i never had a sexual relationship with anyone but my husband.

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I can only speak from my experiences - When I was your daughters age I was in gymnastics and when I began my period my mom would not let me use tampons. I was forced to wear pads and I cannot even express how embarrassed I was to feel this bulky thing between my legs and know that everyone could see it through my leotard. More so, I cannot explain the anger I had towards my mother for "causing" that embarrassment. Over two years later, after she finally allowed me to wear tampons- I could not for the life of me understand why she did not let me use tampons earlier. Now that I'm older I, of course, realize her concern, BUT even so... at such a young age they are not associating any thing that has to do with their period as anything to do with sex or "virginity". If your daughter is asking to use tampons in order to continue on the swim team - my suggestion is to walk her through using them and let her do it. The grudge she may hold could last for years if you don't. And this could be a great opportunity for the two of you to get closer and maybe bond in a way that she will wind up being extrememly thankful for later on.
Good luck.

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Ask your daughter what she wants to do? If she feels comfortable enough to use tampons then you should let her try them. Also look into "Instead" (a feminine cup) your can wear them up to 12 hours (or double your tampon time). There is no toxic shock risk if you use "Instead". Walmart carries them or you can get them online.

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Hey N.,
I was very leery of tampons when I was her age, but eventually ended up using them for the same reason. I got quite tired of missing out on life because of bodily functions. I was so thankful I did. It really does make life more convenient and removes restrictions. They also now have tampons designed for younger girls. I believe that they are called Jr.s and are slimmer and shorter than the average tampon.

Don't think she's too young, she may love them or not even like them but let her make the choice! Tampons were the best thing invented!

tampons make any woman's life better at any age!

I'm not sure why you feel she is too young for tampons if she is old enuf to have a period??? Tampax makes a smaller tampon for younger girls. I think btr to have a tampon then to have to give up swimming...

talk to her about it being a major responsibility. at the beginning I would limit her use to the pool and as she gets older, more responsible, etc. she can start wearing them more often. it is a lot more clean anyway. I wish someone would have been able to convince me to use them when I was younger b/c pads are so messy in general. good luck

I remember my first time with using tampons and it was not great, and also around that age. But if you sit down with her and both read through the directions, I think she'll feel more comfortable. She can always try (on a day she doesn't have to go swimming at first), and if that day it doesn't work then she at least knows it's not for her at this time. It doesn't hurt to try.

If you don't want her to use tampons then she shouldn't join an elite club wear she will miss practice every time she is on her period! I will tell you this. I used tampons when I was eleven. I got my period and I wanted to go swimming. It wasn't a big deal. It's up to you. Good luck!

I think the beauty of tampons is not that they are something big girls use but something BUSY girls use. I started using them because I was on the dance team. All that moving around is a little 'risky' for heavy flow girls. I didn't generally love the tampons so unless I was performing I wore pads. If your little gal is a great swimmer then I wouldn't pass up such a wonderful opportunity over periods.

I'm 31 and I HATE them. I find them to be VERY uncomfy. However, I was doing swim lessons with my son and one week was during my cycle. I wore them just for the swim then took them out and went back to a pad.

I appreciate your question because I'm in the same position as you. My daughter is 12 and is a competitive surfer. She can't surf 8 days each month because her period is long and heavy and, up until now, I haven't been comfortable with her using tampons. Your question, and the many responses, made me think why I'm uncomfortable with it. I don't think it's because of sexual issues (although breaking the hymen is a slight worry), it's more that I want to protect her from the potential pain and discomfort of using them (I am small, and have discomfort with them, so I assume she may be too). I just had a talk with her and she doesn't want to use tampons by her own choice (she does have a box of both organic tampons and the Jr Tampax if she decides to use them). She wants to try a menstrual cup. We watched a YouTube comparison http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d12NcWGEnrM and we decided to try the LadyCup which is the smallest menstrual cup available.

I wish you luck with your decision. I know it's not easy. I wouldn't recommend tampons because they will most likely absorb pool water (chlorine, chemicals). However, using them only a few days each month may not be cause for worry. I am quickly realizing that it's better that our daughters have a fulfilling, uninterrupted childhood.

M.

Hi N.,
I was a competitive swimmer at a young age too. I used tampons right out of the gate and never had issues. They are made in many sizes and for a small body just start out with the junior size.Swimming is the most awesome choice that your daughter can make- don't let any nervousness about a tampon slow you down Mom!
Best wishes to you...
B.

Congratulations on your daughter being invited to the elite swim team! She must be amazing!
My mom wouldn't let me use tampons for quite a while. I always felt very uncomfortable and horrible every time my period came. I had so many problems with pads, leaking, rashes etc. It is always obvious to classmates when you sit things out like swimming that the reason must be your period. I was in choir so changing into our choir outfits was always all us girls in one room changing which always made me uncomfortable during my period. Finally one summer we had family from out of town and everyone was swimming but me, I got to use tampons finally. At 16 I used them all the time and still do. It was the best boost to my confidence ever! I have a daughter now and I plan to let her use tampons as soon as she'd like unless there is a medical reason not to, which normally there isn't. Don't make her period something she dreads and hates. I speak from experience.
If you're really uncomfortable maybe say she can only wear them for swimming and pads when she's not.

There are tampons for teens. Made just for them. I think Tampax makes them.

Hi N., I agree with you, I think 12 is to young to wear tampons, I would talk to the other moms and see in fact if that's what they are doing, and if the swim coach is female talk to her, let her know your situation, I know my daughter is a dancer, the other dances use tampons, my daughter is 20 and she is not comfortable even with the idea of tampons. J. L.

Let her use tampons. It is a gift to her- and her birthright- to be confident and comfortable with her body and her cycles. Let her find what works for her and just be there to support her through the process. She may consider using the Instead menstrual cups as well as trying a few different brands of tampons to determine which feels best for her. Good for her to have options.

As a life long swimmer/watersports girl tampons were a godsend to me.

Some people don't like them...but everyone who is capable of menstruating is capable of using them. The hymen pulls back far enough to allow the blood to pass, so using a tampon doesn't damage one's hymen. The plastic applicators have to be thrown away, but they glide a lot easier than the flushable cardboard ones.

Personally, I would let her try them, and then let her choose whether or not to be on the team. Because you're right, to be on the team, she can't be missing 1/4 of the practices/meets. In the swimming world EVERYONE uses tampons. Okay. Girls. so half of everyone. I know many adult women (or sexually active teenages) who use the cup, but the cup requires more space than a virgin *usually* has. The whole hymen problem. And when you're in the prone position, like in swimming it CAN tilt & spill because of the motion and position...so while I know many women who use and love it...I don't know any swimmers who do.

Number one trick, that nearly everyone I know screwed up at least the first time, if not more often (no one clued me in for two months)...is to insert all the way and THEN plunge. Basic, right? Except that it's not. Not unless you know that you're not supposed to just insert the tip and plunge. Ouch. (I've actually done that on accident as an adult with my mind on other matters). Super-un-com-for-ta-ble.

If you're concerned about toxicity, the tampon can also be a swimming only thing. But if this is something she really wants to do, why not let her try?

i started suing them on my second period ever and have never looked back. i don't think she is too young. just make sure she knows how to use them because i would leave the applicator in, too (uncomfortable....) the first few times.

N.,
My daughter is 14 and she and I discussed this issue, as she was active with swimming, basketball and volleyball. I explained the situation to her and her choice was to use the PLAYTEX SPORTS tampon..I believe it is a little slimmer so its a bit more comfortable.
She takes it out as soon as she changes after swimming and other activities.
Although you may believe she is too young, limiting her choices by not giving her options may be more harmful...I mean you did say there are more elite opportunities if she were able to NOT MISS practices??? Just think it over, and remember it is her body and the more she knows the better able she will be to take care of it.
W.

Hello N.,

I can totally relate to your daughter's dilemma! I was a very athletic young lady and I also started my period at that same age. I can only speak from my own experience as my daughter is only 7 months old, but I would recommend her using the tampon. I truly understand the age issue, but I remember how much more comfortable and positive my monthly experiene became once I started using tampons. I did not for the first couple of years (my mom also felt uncomfortable with me being so young), and it was so stressful that I couldn't play sports during that time etc. and it did actually hurt my advancement in sports for those couple of years. I must say, that I have two younger sisters, and after my experience with pads my mom allowed them to use tampons almost immediately after starting their periods.

I think that tampons are there to allow girls and women to keep living their lives the way they want to without having to put things on hold once a month. I truly believe your daughter will be more self assured and comfortable with her periods and I also know she will not have to miss out on the opportunities that are obviously coming her way.

I wish you both the best!

S.

You need to give her permission to try to use the tampons. Please help her insert it correctly. Once I started my period I quit gymnastics, because I was so small and pads were so big...it was embarrassing! Once I knew what tampons were (in high school) and used them, I was upset that this hadn't been a choice for me earlier. I feel like I missed out on so much for several years, because of my mom's hangup. She doesn't like tampons and they are uncomfortable for her...not me. I have never gone back to pads.

Hi, N.,

I was a competitive swimmer from the time I was 8 until I was 18. My first period occurred shortly after I turned 13. Because my mother did not feel comfortable letting me use tampons, I did not start using tampons until I was 15. My period usually lasted six days. Tired of missing practice several days a month, I asked a friend for a tampon and figured out how to use a tampon with the help of the instructions in the box. The switch from all pads to tampons helped me become much more physically and socially comfortable. Unless your daughter has an uncommon medical problem, I don't see why she shouldn't use tampons.

L. E

Tough choice! As a swim coach myself, I know I pushed girls to find a way to be able to practice while on their periods. I am glad you understand that the elite team will not tolerate missing for a period. Some girls actually do stop their periods while they are in the water, I wouldn't count on it though.... The compromise of tampons only during practice is a good one. They generally need to be changed right after practice anyways, because they do get wet. The water soaks the string and sometimes does get absorbed into the tampon. You have a lot of other good advice as to the details of how to make it work, good luck as you consider what is best for you and your family. Elite swimming is a huge commitment!

I swam at your daughters age. I would use tampons. You might want to sit down with her and explain how to use them and the risks of not changing them regularly. She might surprise you and be old enough to handle it. At the club I swam with having a period or cramps was not an excuse for missing practice and especially meets. You may also want to talk to your daughter and get her perspective on things and what she wants.

I was in ballet when I was younger and after my first period and wearing a pad under my leotard and feeling like everyone could see my "diaper," I started using tampons after that. Just go over the instruction pamphlet with her and explain it/answer any questions. It's not that big of a deal.

There is no harm at all using tampons at this age. My daughter is 14 now, and has been using tampons since age 12. I also used them since age 13, and am 48 now with no problems. Let her use them! They are much safer now. The doctor said no problems to use them at this age too.

Hi N.,

I am a mother of four very wonderful girls, and I understand the whole "period" dilemma. I would go ahead and have her try tampons; she really isn't too young when you think about it--it's just a more convenient way to take care of her flow, one that allows her to enjoy her swimming and other activities. I have talked to many moms (and I have 6 sisters who have many daughters as well) and we've discussed how if girls learn how to use tampons when they first start, they then can continue to use them with no problem. It just makes their lives easier and they are able to stay more active. They have so many "slim-fit" varieties now that really are more comfortable. I have nieces that never learned to use tampons when they were younger that still only use pads into their 20's, and they are always the ones left out of activities and seem to have so many restrictions on their fun. When a young woman FIRST gets her period is the right time to start using them! She'll eventually get the hang of it, and have more confidence.
Good luck with this and with your "Ark"!
Marti O.

I remember when I was 12 I felt very self-conscience and I was in dance and did not want to have everyone know that I was on my period. Keeping your daughter out of tampons and off the swim team when she is menstruating is just letting all her peers know her menstrual cycle, which can be very embarrassing to a girl her age! I felt so much more secure as a young girl once I started wearing tampons when I was 12. Just educate her on how to use them and when to change them. She sounds like a very responsible young lady if she is being asked to be on an elite swim team. Good luck!
J.

Let her use tampons. They make smaller sizes for younger girls or smaller people. She can't be competitive in a sport like swim if she's going to miss practice/meets for a week every month. (I know this. I was a competitive swimmer through high school and college.) Plus, think how embarassing it will be for her when people put two and two together and realize she is missing a week every month, and why. They will start teasing her about knowing when she is on her period and stuff like that. (It happened on my team to a girl whose mother would not let her swim during that time of the month.)
Your only other option (besides quitting swim) is to put her on a birth control that regulates her periods. (Seasonique, Depo Provera, etc.) If you are hesitating about tampons, I'm going to assume that birth control is also out of the question.
Talk this over with your daughter and see what you can compromise on.

I don't think 12 is too young to use tampons. If she's old enough to get her period she's old enough to use tampons. If you change them frequently there is no worry about TSS. I don't get what the big deal is. I got my period two months before I turned 14. I already knew that my mom used tampons and so on my second period I started using tampons. I read the instructions and figured it out for myself, BUT I was a little older. As one of the PP said I think you could sit down with her and read the instructions together. I think tampons help women/girls to feel comfortable with our bodies instead of being grossed out by what our bodies do. It all depends on what mom's attitude is, how our girls will treat their body. If mom is comfortable with her body; then daughter will be too. I used OB back then and I still do now. Good luck.

If she is going to swim steadily and somewhat competitively, she'll have to start wearing tampons. It will have to ultimately be her decision. My older daughter was chagrined after she started wearing tampons, and wished she started younger. My younger daughter has never felt comfortable with the idea of wearing a tampon. It did put a definite crimp in her swim club career. Unfortunately she has stopped swimming, which as you know is such great exercise.