Swim Lesson Scare - What to Do??

I am all for contacting a supervisor, explaining what happened, and how you felt as a mother to just have to sit there and watch while the instructors (one of which was occupied with another child & the other who was too busy texting) did nothing. I find it hard to believe that they would have only 1 instructor for 7 four yr olds, who can not swim at all. It's not like this is a class meant to serve as a refresher or diving class. This is basically swimming 101 and these children were left unsupervised at the edge of the pool. Granted the parents were there, but you are paying professionals to look after and teach your child. They should have been in competant hands. If the instructor who was texting was to be counted as an instructor for the class, then the supervisor needs to be aware that he/she was not performing his/her duties and basically acting negligent.

While I am all for letting kids "live and learn", this accident could have ended far worse (as I am sure you are well aware). Thankfully, your daughter fell into the pool in an area where she could stand and not into the 10 ft. deep end. While I can not fault them for letting her "tough it out" and get her footing herself, it does not excuse that no instructor was there to provide assistance if she started panicking or inhaled water. (We have all had experiences where we struggle to get to the surface...I think that makes us better and SAFER swimmers...learning not to panic.)

Hopefully this makes sense. =) Good luck and thank goodness you were there and your daughter came out of this unscathed!

3 moms found this helpful

OK, so this is definitely my area. I am a mother of three and am on staff at two local YMCAs in the aquatics department. I have taught swim lessons, mom and tot classes, water fitness and water arthritis. Here's my suggestion and answer to your questions:

1. It is strictly against Y policy for staff to be texting while at work. Especially if on duty as a lifeguard.

2. Swim instructors should have been trained to NEVER turn their back on their class. We are taught how to teach one on one or for more experienced swimmers kids go in order #1, #2, #3...in the same direction as we supervise the lot.

3. Small children should be able to touch the bottom. Maybe not for the entire class, however for beginners, the first several classes, etc. it has been my experience that small children or weak swimmers can't be "trusted" to hold on all the time, maintain their balance and/or not screw around. If/when we have children where they can't touch then their is usually an "extra" guard or instructor to help control the kids...especially if we are working to build up their strength and swim longer distances where the primary instructor could not possible "get" a kid who needs help.

4. It is the lifeguards job to ensure the safety of all people in the pool...the swim instructors also have a responsibility to tend to their class, however the lifeguard is responsible for rescues and watching for potential hazards.

In reply to your questions, I don't recall the exact number of students to teacher ratios, however I believe it varies by ability level. The Y does set those standards and should not allow "over booking" of the classes as that would be a safety issue. The class ratio for a Pike class is 1:6 (I looked it up)

The minimum age I am aware of for instructors is 16. It may even be 16 to be a life guard - that's what I recall back when I was first certified by the American Red Cross.

I would be on the phone with the aquatics director TODAY. You would need to tell him her which class your child is in, who the instructor is and who the other person was who was texting. THEY NEED to be reprimanded!

Of course every parent is watching THEIR kid like a hawk. And I don't blame them! With children so young you never know what they are going to do/not do. I think you should be on the phone with them expressing your concerns about the lack of attention your child and the others in the class received. These are their formative years. If they get a bad "scare" now, it may be hard to get them back in the water/swim class. Also, I think you have every right to ask to switch to a different class. Many parents told me that they didn't trust the "teenagers" to do a good job. Now I don't know if that's true across the board, however I too have seen many who just don't take the job seriously. As a parent, I also prefer "adult" teachers who don't let the kids screw around...I have seen a number of kids who suck up all the teacher's attention either by not listening or being scared. The "adults" know how to handle those kids and ensure that everyone gets their due time in class.

Please feel free to msg me. I am happy to help you.

2 moms found this helpful

Well any question is a good question ecspecially in a case where children are involved. It is not being neurotic, it is being safe, not only for your child but for others as well. Suggestions are always helpful. My opinion, if there is a group of 4 yr olds in a pool and obvioulsy they are there because they do not know how to swim,. There should be one instructor instructing and one staying at the wall with the other children. And for the girl texting, how old is she? And is she a certified lifeguard? If so, she should be reported. You don't ever "think" someone is joking around when in water, ecspecially a child who is there for swim lessons, so obviously they know the child doesnt know how to swim!! She should be fired, not reprimanded!!

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That is serious. What if you hadn't been there! I have a son who drowned and I would not take that lightly at all. I would turn the instructor in. Kids' lives are nothing to mess around with. And believe it or not, drowning is silent. I would not take your child back to that instructor.

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As a supervisor of a large aquatics facility, I can offer some insight as to how we operate to help guide you:
1) Staff are NOT permitted to have phones in their possession while in public eye and/or on company time. I would absolutely address this b/c my staff are written up for just holding one while clocked in, nevermind using it near the pool.
2)A class size at your daughter's age in our facility is 1:6 for beginning swimmers and 1:8 for experienced. Pretty standard in our area, but ask what the ratio is for your facility.
3) Most lifeguard programs require that the LG be 16, have passed CPR/First Aid, and a basic swim skills test. Most YMCA's certify their guards through the Red Cross, which has different stipulations on required training than our certifier, so I can't comment on specifics within their programs, but all programs DO require a set number of training hours per month to keep a certificate active. Our swim lessons are taught by guards with at least two years of experience at our facility.
Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

I think its great that your putting your child in swimming lessons' and they have a one on one with the instructor. However with this one sitting talking on the cell phone I'm afraid I would have lost it on her. Not only did she not do anything, but thought that she was playing. Sorry I don't buy that. I would go to her superior, you don't have to mention names and just as "are supervisors" supposed to be by the pool during lessons sitting and talking on cell phones" or are they supposed to be watching at all times. If they ask who, you can just say I really don't know it was my first time. Its a terrible experience for a mom, I'm so glad that your daughter wasn't afraid to go back in because another child may not go in for many years. So with this said, I feel it should be reported. Every child should have fun and learn at the same time, in any othe work place you are not allowed cell phones' so they should not be allowed to be used during a classroom setting.
Good luck and like I said, no names given!

1 mom found this helpful

I currently work for the Kennett Area YMCA & can tell you that different Ys have different certifications that they follow (some Ellis certification, some American Red Cross). Both require instructors to have minimum certifications, with 1 program being more strict in the criteria for certification, maintaining certification, and general insurance of the safety of the pool and the members. That being said, I'd actually go to the director over the individual guard & instructor as the issue might be more widespread. Also, without asking them directly, you don't know the shifts the lifeguard has and the lesson schedule the instructor has currently. The issue you encountered is likely to happen again. Although the instructor should be periodically checking that the kids are OK when doing 1:1 instruction, it is the responsibility of the lifeguard to watch those children (& anyone else in the pool/on deck) to ensure they are safe.

1 mom found this helpful

Hi, L.:

The reason you are there is to observe your child so she remains safe and observe the support staff to make sure he/she is observing the other children.

You say, the support staff was texting at the time of the incident?.
It was your duty to call her attention to her lapse of attention to the children.
Now it is your duty to tell her supervision that she failed in her duties as a support staff and let them reprimand her.

Good luck. D.

1 mom found this helpful

WOW.
You are NOT out of line AT ALL. Call everyone possible, and especially raise a stink about the texting girl!!

1 mom found this helpful

You have lots of advice, but I thought I'd add my two cents. I used to lifeguard and teach swimming lessons at my local Y in high school and college and we never had more than 5 non-swimmers (beginners) to an instructor at a time. A couple times my class was larger but I always had a second instructor there to assist me. Another thing is that the instructor should never have their back to the class while working with one child. I always took the child I was working with along the length of children lined up and waiting, NOT out away from the waiting children. That way I was able to keep an eye on everyone and I was never more than a couple steps away if someone lost their balance (which does happen).
Second, you absolutely need to contact the aquatics director about the guard who was texting. They need to know and action needs to be taken against that individual.
Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

You have already gotten a ton of advice about how to handle the situation, but I wanted to add our positive experience. Our twin boys were in a 3-yr old swim class last summer. There were either 6 or 7 kids in the class (I can't remember now) with two staff on duty. One was the instructor and the other a lifeguard. Both were teenagers and did a very good job. They built rapport with the kids (each in her own way), were very attentive, and were also firm when a child broke a rule. I offer this only because I don't think the number of the children in the class or the age of the instructors is the problem. The problem is these particular instructors, their maturity, and their attentiveness. If you don't get the satisfaction you need, try another location. Good luck~

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What were you told when you signed up? I don't believe there is a standard, but you can call the licensing agency and ask. Things happen and you have to realize that, but the texting life guard is alarming. Was she suppose to be on duty? If so, she should be reported. She has a responsibility, as well as the Y. They should be made aware if her attention is not where it should be.

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Were it not for the texting instructor, I would not be that concerned by this story. Obviously there needs to be enough instructors to make sure the kids are safe- that is what you are paying for! So two instructors seems ok to me in a situation where one of them does 1:1 time and the other monitors, especially if parents are there. A kid will struggle and fall sometimes, just like any other thing. They need to do that to learn from it. Just like riding a bike. You can't learn without falling. For the instructor doing the 1:1 to not rush over isn't surprising to me either, he thought his partner was monitoring those kids. I'm assuming he is the more experienced instructor, so he should be at least semi-aware of what is going on and should have reacted, but he should be able to count on the other instructor.

My only problem with the whole scenario is the texting instructor, and I think this is a very big deal. This is pure negligence. She was not doing her job. If she had been, none of the kids would have been in danger of anything, and like I said, letting your daughter get up on her own is probably a good thing. But since she wasn't there to help if needed, your daughter could have gotten hurt. And she could have been too scared of water to go back in after that, especially if she heard you and other parents yelling and scared. I would definitely call the Y and speak to a supervisor. I wouldn't bother with the texting instructor. This isn't one of those things like you could work out with your child's teacher. She was negligent and irresponsible, and her supervisor should know this. Just be respectful and calm, and they will not think you are neurotic. I don't know ANY job that allows texting on the clock when you are supposed to be monitoring something important. They will hopefully take it very seriously. They should, and she should be reprimanded. If they don't seem to care, I would get my money back and not go there again. But I honestly can't see that happening, you are right in thinking that texting on lifeguard duty with a class of 4 yr olds is not okay.

1 mom found this helpful

I do not know if there is a standard but my children have been taking lessons for a while. There is usually 3 classes or groups going on with smaller kids- I think 5 per teacher is the limit. If the class has alot of small children or children who are afraid of the water, etc there are 2 teachers with that group. They do not put them in class by age but by water experience and fear levels, skills, etc.
Although the teachers always take one student off from the group slightly to work privately with them I have never witnessed an instructor not knowing what was happening and keeping the situation of the other kids under control. There has never been another lifegaurd not in the water so I don't know what her job actually was.
2 feet of water is not much so maybe there rules are more lax. I understand your concern as a parent- I also had a child slip (we were at a water park) and although she could touch was unable to get up herself up right. I was not in the water but about to go when a lifegaurd picked her up and stood her on her feet.
Where my children have swimming lessons starts at 4 feet so most of the young children can not touch and have to be closely monitored so they do not slip while holding onto the wall. And parents are not allowed pool side at all- they observe from the hall or upstairs viewing area.
I don't know if I would feel comfortable taking my child back to a class where the instructor can only focus on one student at a time- doesn't seem very safe to me. Lifegaurds are supposed to be able to keep an eye on everything around them even if they are focusing on one person or thing. I have never had lessons at the Y but would think their standards are much higher then you just described. Hope this helps :)

1 mom found this helpful

Wow ... that must have been terrifying!! I'm glad your daughter is OK.

In my opinion, 7 kids is way too many for a swim class. My daughter's class has 4, and even that seems a bit too much at times! Our local YMCA has 8 kids in pre-school classes as well, which is why we don't go there. I found a local gym that teaches gymnastics, tumbling, etc and they have swim as well.

I think you should call the YMCA and comment -- and I would go to the director of the swimming program. Our class also has an "extra" teacher sitting on the side who watches over the 4 classes that are going on at once. And she WATCHES. For that instructor to say she thought your daughter was "kidding" is horrible! And even if she did think that (which I doubt -- sounds like an excuse because she was not paying attention) then she still should have come over and told your daughter to stop "hores playing."

You are not a neurotic mother -- I would have been in that water and out of that YMCA in a flash! With a very formal note to the swimming director!!!

Good luck ... and I'm so glad it didn't scare your daughter out of the water!

Michelle

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I would have been livid!! I hope you give that YMCA a talking to. I would have a very serious, stern talk with ANY teachers that are instructing or suppose to be watching your child while in the pool, then have a chat with the supervisor and *if* they don't seem concerned then go to the front desk and explain your concerns. Tell them you want your child well-supervised at all times while in the pool. That this should NEVER have happened and you are NOT happy about it.

1 mom found this helpful

Good Morning,
I felt like I just HAD to reply to your question. I am a mom AND a swim instructor at a local YMCA, so I feel quite confident w/ my response! I am so sorry that you and your daughter had that experience; and am so happy that she was not traumitized and ready to re-enter the pool immediately! As for my (I don't know if each YMCA has different rules, so I can only go by the one that I work for) YMCA, for a beginner class the ratio is 1:5 students. We use floatation belts to help everyone feel more secure. If the other instructor was not on duty then I wouldn't make a deal about their texting, altho I almost laugh at the lollipop comment.
I would definitely say something to the director/supervisor, you will not look like a neurotic mother. Good luck w/ future classes!!!

1 mom found this helpful

We had this issue when my daughter started swimming lessons at 3 years old at a different place (not the YMCA). There were only 4 kids to a class, but they were all sitting on a little step along a wall in the deep end of the pool and the parents were on the other side of a glass wall watching. The class was my daughter and 3 of her friends, so I knew the other kids and their moms. Same thing happened where the kids started playing around and one fell into the deep water off of the step. There were no other instructors or lifeguards around and the class instructor was on the other end of the pool with another kid! We nearly had a heart attack. The instructor got the kid back on the step and he was okay, but my friends and I were irate. There was supposed to be a lifeguard or other instructor there at all times (it was not a peak time of day, so they were the only class in the pool at the time) and they just didn't think it was necessary, apparently. Needless to say, they got an earful from all 3 of us moms. We had to remind them a time or two when we didn't see anyone out there with them, but they always got someone (even if they didn't seem happy about it). I don't know what the rules are about it, but we were not very happy about that aspect of this place. They had a great reputation, so we were all a little surprised that we had this kind of problem and all of our kids did learn to swim with no harm done, but I can certainly understand where you're coming from. I would just ask them what their policy is and if you aren't happy with it, then take it up with the supervisor. If they agree that it isn't a problem, then I would look for somewhere else to get swimming lessons. Best of luck!

1 mom found this helpful

L.,
Unfortunately, we had almost the same thing happen here in Texas. They didn't allow parents inside the fence. My husband had to run around to the entrance and pull my 3 yr old son out of the water to keep him from drowning! We called the director and he totally discounted our concerns. We pulled his out of the lessons and made them give our money back. You cannot be too careful with kids around water.
You definitely need to report it. If they don't take you seriously, take your child somewhere else.
V.

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If it were me I would not stop at anything but to have the "texter's" position terminated. You need to go to the top on this and to demand a complete review. As women we are prone to be too nice. Please do not ever put anyone else's welfare before that of your child's or anybody elses for that matter.

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In your very last paragraph where you say you wouldn't want anyone reprimanded- Too nice! I would have a head on a platter if a lifeguard was texting at a pool. I actually confronted one once and let him know if he didn't put the phone away we were leaving and talking to his boss on the way out. I'm appalled it's not illegal to text and drive, you get the drift-it is DANGEROUS and you should not be afraid to speak up. BUT, I get it. You would rather handle this in a nice positive manner, and since you parents are there by the pool there really is no danger.

I would go to a supervisor in a nice, friendly, "I love your class and the teacher is really great" sort of way but state in a matter of fact tone that "There aren't enough teachers for the number of kids-case in point-your daughter went under water twice and the teacher had no idea while helping another student and the other one was texting, not helping." Period. No room for debate. I would add I think it is outrageous phones are allowed on lifeguard shifts-but that's up to you.

You could spare that texter a reprimand from their boss and cost a child their life. Not trying to be dramatic, but really, it's criminal to text while at work watching kids in water. My toddler went under water in the blink of an eye last year-I almost didn't see him! It happens VERY fast, they CANNOT be texting.

I'm not neurotic either, and I let my kids do a lot of things lots of mom's wouldn't, but these people have many lives in their hands and are being paid. State your case and do not feel bad. You can even get some other parents to back you up I'm sure. They will not kick you out of class, and once they shape up and you are your gracious sweet self again, thanking them so much for their help, complimenting their class, they have no cause to blame you for anything. It's also a good example to your daughter not to put up with stuff, it will help her be tough when she needs to be.

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Not out of line at all.

MomOnTheGo & RM have some good advice. I would add from my experience as a swim instructor and a mum:

With beginning swimmers of ANY age no more than 3-4 per instructor is my absolute max that is acceptable ... including adults, but ESPECIALLY with young children. Which, much as we love our local Y is why we DID NOT do swimming lessons there. Hit or miss as far as instructors went and class sizes were ridiculous. 7-10 kids, TODDLERS per instructor, was the norm/average for the very beginner classes.

The ideal number of students to instructor varies with age and experience in a bell curve. By the time you get to the level where your instructor's job is to try and drown you (fun fun) the ratio goes all the 1:1 ... but there are no universal standards (like in daycare situs)... each organization has it's own policies... and how well those orgs follow their own policies varies a great deal.

That said... the bob or bob & sink is a totally common experience with new swimmers and is EXPECTED. (Hence, like MOTG said... instructors are taught to NEVER EVER EVER turn their back on the class... they're supposed to glide backwards... and never be more than a glide away from their class).

As far as the texting person... were they a co-instructor, lifeguard, or employee who just happened to be in the area? It's good to know, because if they just happened to be in the area (aka not responsible), IMO it's actually worse... because that means 7 new swimmers : 1 teacher.

It sounds like several things are seriously wrong with the class that you're in right now.

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I didn't read the other responses so apologize if this is a repeat. My kids both take swim lessons at 2 and 4 years old. Where we go, the ratio is 4 kids to one teacher unless you are in a parent/child class and then each parent is holding their child and it is 8 to 1. In the regular class, the teacher sits all the students on the steps(it is only a few inches high on the steps), and focuses on one student, but they are always facing and watching the other students in their class while working with each one. There is also a lifeguard sitting directly in front of where they are teaching and she is always watching intently. So there are two sets of eyes on the kids at all times not including all the parents watching as well. It sounds like your situation was gross neglect on the part of the instructor as well as the person supposed to be supervising the safety(the lifeguard-which i am assuming was the texting person), and if that person was not on duty, I would run from any facility that did not have a lifeguard on duty. Anyway, I would definitely let them know things were very inappropriate. Good luck, and i am glad your daughter was so resilient!

Hi, L.,

I was a lifeguard/swimming instructor/coach for a few years. I realize as a teacher and coach that sometimes teachers are overly criticized, but texting seems completely unacceptable while on duty as a lifeguard! Attentiveness, skill and experience vary dramatically across lifeguards/instructors. I've seen a a person flailing for minutes in a swimming pool before the lifeguard noticed. Fortunately, the "drowning victim" was a lifeguard who was testing the lifeguard in the tower, so nobody drowned in that incident. Last year, I enrolled my toddlers in a swimming class so that they could interact with people other than me while in the swimming pool. One day at the pool, I saw a girl in another class (a beginning class like the one you described) slip off the wall. I was approx. three feet from her when it happened. Before I could dive over to her, I saw the lifeguard who was on duty in a tower push the girl back to the wall! That's a great lifeguard!

I recommend sending a letter to the YMCA lifeguard/swimming instructor supervisor. I think that it would appropriate for the supervisor to hold a meeting to discuss safety precautions. Request a response.

Best wishes,
L.

I would definitely inquire as to what their safety regs are as an organization. I would also check in with the state - I know there are strict guidelines on teacher to student ratios in daycares and school and there may be similar regs on things like swim lessons.

I don't personally believe that one instructor can monitor seven 4-year olds adequately. I suspect that the other employee was supposed to be there to help and clearly wasn't. Her attitude and her texting were inappropriate and I feel worthy of a reprimand at least. (Honestly, as someone who works in management, I would probably give serious consideration to terminating an employee under those circumstances.)

Also, may I ask which YMCA you were at? I am considering swim lessons for my daughter at the Y and your story is giving me pause.

Thanks and good luck!

I'm so sorry for the scare - so glad she is fine. Just keep your mother eyes on her and if you feel better, ask the teacher if you can be in the water beside her during the lesson. That would be nice for all of you.

I think that number 1, the instructor should never be focused on only 1 child at a time when there is no other instructor in the pool watching the other children. The children should at all times be monitored by personnel who is in the pool with them. Secondly, the other instructor that was texting should definitely be reprimanded, at NO time should an instructor who is supposed to be monitoring children in a pool be on their phone during working hours...period! If it was me, I would discuss this first with your direct instructor about the ratio issue and then the other instructor (that was texting) I would go to the supervisor. I would ask if it is ok if I could be in the pool "helping" out with my child, I'm not sure if that's an option. I don't think that this should be overlooked. Maybe there is a more basic class for your daughter to start out in or a mommy and me class as another option. Thats just too scary.

Being a mother and also being a life guard in my younger days. We always had one instructor and another life guard on duty watching or within an ears reach. How you react will infuence how your daughter reacts. Most pools don't even allow parents to stay and watch because of how parents react to the lessons. Also, children often do better in lessons when the parents are not around. If you are concerned then yes, I would voice your concern, but also remember that the lifeguards are well trained. If your daughter wanted to go back then I would let her go back or change her lessons to private lessons where the lifeguard/instructor gives all of his/her attention just to your daughter. I would recommend private lessons to anyone because I feel that children often excel in private lessons. I took a first time swimmer and had her jumping off the diving board by the end of our lesson, but I also had the full go ahead from her mother to do so. I also offered private lessons from any where from 30 min up to 2 hours. Learning to swim is something every child should know not just for their safety, but for others as well. I'm sure my reactions are not the same as other parents, but I have been on both sides and understand both sides too!

You may also want to ask what type of training these instructors/lifeguards have to be teaching and/or guarding. We had in-service training every month that kept us on our toes.

This happened at my son's Y. There were 7 kids age 6. The instructor was doing the one on one and a kid went under. At our Y we are not allowed to be at the pools edge but behind a glass wall. The life guard was flirting with another instructor. The dad whose kid was under the wate was pounding on the glass no one heard him. I jumped up and around and screamed to the LG to get the kid. Which she did and looked at the parents like we were nuts. The dad, poor guy, wasn't well spoken in English and you could see the frustration. I went down to the front desk leaving my hubby to watch our son and spoke to the Supervisor. He was apologetic, said he'd talk to the LG but my gut was he wouldn't accomplish much. I voiced the complaint but all the other class times me and the other parents were just more on alert. I am happy your daughter went right back in though. This kid wanted to go home, he came back the following week but was timid and nervous getting in and staying in.

The texting instructor bothers me more then anything. I am sure she was there as backup for the instructor and was clearly not doing her job. I would report that because I am sure there are policies about not even having your phone on you. If she were not on the phone find out exactly what her job is and is there an extra person there at all times. What if the parents weren't there and the instructor fell ill. Who would be there to watch the children. I own a preschool and a teacher is never allowed to be alone despite ratios. You never know something could happen to them or another child could be hurt how would they be able to get help if needed? I would express your concerns.

Four is too young to be unattended in the water. A four year old has tiny little lungs and can drown quickly. I know someone this happened to. Don't worry one bit about getting anyone reprimanded. How would you feel if a child drowned? Would you be out of line to call the Y? No way. Water safety is serious business. I may be in the minority, but I would pull my child out of that class IMMEDIATELY. She would never go back. The laisez faire attitude of the instructors is terribly alarming. "I thought she was joking?" !!!

Oh my GOD!

I would be writing letters and making phone calls. Those instructors are responsible for those little kids lives. That is not to be taken lightly.

L.

Dear L., I don't really remember where McKees Rocks, PA is right now, but we had a similar and very unpleasant experience with our YMCA in Limerick, PA, with our 3 year old, in group swimming lessons. Our experience was not even as "traumatic" as yours, ie. child left alone standing in water over her head and an inattentive guard. What was "traumatic" for me was the nearly "sink or swim" attitude of the YMCA policies, for a 3 year old?. I had been taking my son to the mother and me swimming classes since he was 6 months old. You know how that goes, sometimes they like it sometimes they don't. I confess that I didn't read the 3 year old policies really closely before we came sauntering into the class. With Mommy and Me sometimes we would start in the beach area and then everyone would go over where only the adults could stand. So when I took him over to the 4 foot area where all the others were, he just said he wanted to stay where the water wasn't so deep. As a Mom, I would have, if I saw he wasn't adjusting well the first time, stay with him in the shallow water, and then try to work our way over to the class if we could, if not that week the next. Quite frankly, that is what I would have been doing 3 months prior, before he turned 3. I wasn't even aware that I was supposed to stand "outside the glass," but when I read the material, I was. But the instructor did ask me to sit by the wall, which I did. For the next 1/2 hour my son screamed incessantly. That is hard to listen to, but I was a little concerned because 2 weeks prior he had been hospitalized with a chest virus, normally a very healthy child, just one of those things, but at 3 I don't really think its necessary to take chances just because of a "policy." When I stood up to see if I could help calm him down, I was told to sit down. When class was over no one said they felt bad because he'd had a rough time. I immediately took him to a water fountain because he was coughing so hard he couldn't catch his breath. By the time "we" were calmed down, everyone was with other classes, or otherwise unavailable. I was completely unable to get him to go to another class, even to this day, as a 4 year old. I would like him to learn to swim, but under these conditions, ie. unwilling to get into the pool, he won't, at least not now. I have spent many years working with special needs populations, and have always found it is best to follow a person's comfort level, and work with families. Neither of these tenets were part of the Y's aquatic policy. To finish the story, since I couldn't get my son to go back, I attempted to withdraw from the class. I was told it was too late. I attempted to contact the director of the Y, but she would not return my call. So, I spent $90 for nothing. I have heard over and over "private lessons are the only way to go." I just don't think it needs to be that way. I always feel that rigidity for its own sake is masking incompetence, which is of course, very dangerous. Good luck.

I'm not sure how you should respond to the instructors, but i will say this. With my oldest son we did the group lessons much like you describe except there were even fewer kids in the class. He did okay, but finally I bit the bullet and payed a bit more for a session of private 1/2 hour lessons. There was only 1 kid, him, and he got the benefit of the instructor's attention the entire half hour and he learned SO MUCH more. It was really worth it and for my younger son, I will not go back to group lessons. If you can at all afford the extra cost, do it. you may end up getting more for you money.

There is no excuse for texting when this instructor should be there as a back up. I would call the head of swimming instructions/pool area and express your concern. This is not a joking matter.

This sounds like a high ration to me. If you live in the West Chester area, you may want to consider the West Chester University lessons. They are really effective, there are always guards, and the instructors are well trained. The ratio is also smaller than that. In any case, you are not being neurotic. And the last thing you need is for your child to feel as if drowning is a possibility when lessons already push them out of their comfort zone.

I think R m. is right. Your daughter's fall and recovery is not too unusual, or even too big for her to deal with. If you managed to keep your voice and actions outwardly businesslike and calm in spite of your (understandable) panic, then your daughter will probably be as fine emotionally as she is physically.

The distracted texting by the backup adult is another matter. Her job is to pay attention to the safety and behavior of the rest of the kids in the group while the in-the-water instructor is involved in one-on-one. I would make a big deal out of that with the Y.

As you yourself observed, you'll need to be clear about why the situation worries you, without coming across as hysterical. You'll be taken more seriously and have a better effect on everyone's safety in the future.

With that in mind, it might help to write out your concerns and arguments before talking to anyone. Work on keeping your observations clear and non-judgemental. I believe you are asking for a reasonable review of employee policy and parental expectations.