Swaddling and Stimulation Questions

As far as good resources for learning how to be a mon, subscribe to mothering magazine. It is well researched advise and provides a variety of opinions.

As far as crying it out......i can't even put my dog in a cage.

I don't believe crying it out is in the babys best interest. The baby is crying because being without you after living inside you is very traumatic. Some cultures don't put their babies down for the first six months. The brain is so rapidly developing in these brand new babies....stress can't be something they're suppose to learn right off the bat.

Physiolgically we are still hunters and gatherers. I try to always consider that when i don't know what to do. This philosophy has served me and my sons well. Try not to listen to all the advise. Listen to your heart. We were made specifically to be mothers so the answers are there.

We never left them to cry it out and they are strong healthy boys who are well behaved. Just love them more than air and everything will work out...........

Good luck, M.

Hi T.,

As far as letting your son cry it out, it is way to early for that. Doctors as well as the books will tell you that this method is safest used when the baby is at least six months. 11 weeks is way to early. It is also too early to rely on your little one to self soothe. My advice is enjoy the precious time that he needs you, because soon he wont. My son napped in his swing or bouncer until he was about 4 months old and we had no problem switching him over to his crib. Keep in mind that regardless how you put your son down for a nap or too bed he will need assistance falling asleep until about six months, he has only been in this world for barely 3 months. I rocked my son to sleep until about eight months, at eight months we did the crying out method and after I nursed him I would jsut lay him down in the crib and this worked beyond well. Read about the different crying out methods before you decide to do this to your son so early. GOod luck

My daughter is 6 mos old. We've been swaddling her for naps and at night since she was about 2 weeks old. It's still the only way she will sleep. We were using a pacifier only at naps and night, but she gave that up around 2 months. She actually sucks on her lip, which looks pretty funny!

When she was about 2 months old, we started letting her cry it out. We would put white noise in her room with her and she would go to sleep. She has consistently slept from 8pm until 8am for 4 months now. We don't use the white noise anymore, but we still swaddle her. Otherwise she won't sleep.

I think a baby learns to self-soothe by realizing that they are still okay, even if Mommy doesn't come in to pick her up when she cries. I would just let her cry it out at this point. Even if she cries for over an hour. There will be less crying each day. It's hard at first, but it worked for us. Now she loves to sleep. (And...so do we!)

to be honest with you he is still pretty young and feels secure being swaddled. i personally wouldn't change that.
try to remember he came from a very warm and secure place and being swaddled kind of mimics that plus he is warm.
but if you do decide to change things on him make sure he is warm. number 1 thing to a baby. i have a gr. daughter who wont sleep if she isnt dressed extra warm she is only going on 5 mo. but my word of wisdom to you is slow down and don't be in a hurry for him to be big. enjoy what you have right now. J.

If I had only 1 book to recommend to parents it would be, Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Dr. Weissbluth. It worked like a charm for all 3 of my kids who are fantastic sleepers. Swaddling never worked for me, so I can't help you there (unfortunately, sleeping on their stomachs helped me....which obviously I would never recommend with good conscience and it was NEVER an option with my 1st child....but you'd be surprised how many people sleep their children on the stomach (with absolutely nothing in the crib, but their crib sheet). The key to good sleepers is to put them to bed BEFORE they're exhausted - for a 3 month old, they should never be awake for more than 2 hours at a time (mine never made it much past 90 minutes at that age) and they should be in their crib BEFORE that 2 hour mark.
Good luck!

T.,
I'm a mother of 4, and in my experience I've learned, above all, to trust my "mommy instincts". God has entrusted this child to YOU, the mommy. Learn to listen to your "instincts". Swaddling is fine, but don't let anyone deny you the simple pleasure of rocking your baby, and snuggling next to him. Also, every child is different--sleeping in the swing, in the car seat, in the crib, or right next to me have all happened at my house. At some point you realize it's just important to get sleep, and not so important where (safety first of course). And, in time, you transition to whatever. But for now, enjoy this infant stage, it goes sooooo fast. My youngest is 4 months, and I'm holding and snuggling, and don't want to put her down.
God's Blessings on you and your new journey,
M.

We swaddled until my son was like 4 or 5 months. They can mentally soothe themselves & visually, until they're older.

The transition just happened on its own, cuz he was getting too big for the swaddling blankets and would break out sometimes.

I think your baby is too young to let him "cry it"out, even in a couple of weeks. Crying out is really for babies who are older like 9-12 months. If swaddle isn't working for you, try one of those sleeper bag outfits(it says "back to sleep" on the front of sleeper)I think as long as he is warm he should be fine. I have 4 boys(5,4, twins 2) and through my experience crying it out is really for an older baby. All he needs now is your attention and cuddles. He won't be a baby forever. Cherish this time with him.
take care,
Kathy

We swaddled til 4 months. My co-worked swaddled their child til 6 months. Another swaddled but toga-style with one arm out for 7 months. If swaddling is working, no need to change it. We started loosening the swaddle at 3 months, then eventually took one arm out, then another, then a super loose swaddle, then nothing by 4 months. (We used the SwaddleMe by Kiddopotamus)

Around 4 months you can switch techniques to ones found in the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth. Since you mentioned crying it out (we did that with our son a 6 months and it took literally 3 days), I definitely recommend you read the book.

Get an unbreakable mirror and let your baby stare and examine himself. Your baby won't know that he is looking at himself, but will marvel at the lovely human being who is staring back at him and 'interacting' with him.

Also, get large soft blocks that have black/white patterns on them (stripes, checkerboards, etc.) and different textures to them. A newborn's eyesight is developing and the sharp contrast black/white patterns are visually stimulating to them. Hold a block in front of his face and slowly move it left to right and up and down - his eyes should begin to track the block. Also, take his hands and stroke them on the different textured fabrics.

Rattles and rings are great. You might need to curl baby's fingers around the rattle and then move his arm to shake it, but eventually he will shake the rattle on his own. What a great way to learn cause and effect! He will also become rather proud of himself when he learns how to shake the rattle all on his own, learning that he does have control over his enviroment.

Finally, attach toys to your baby carrier/car seat. Sure he may just stare at them for a while, but the sounds and colors are interesting to him and one day you'll be driving and he'll reach out to play with them.

Use an binky when putting him down in the swaddle. It did the trick for my little one.

To each his own but in my opinion I would not let your child CIO. Please check out these links before you do. http://drbenkim.com/articles-attachment-parenting.html, and http://www.hno.harvard.edu/gazette/1998/04.09/ChildrenNee...

My 3m/o daughter has never been swaddled. My other 2 were and we had issues for a few days after I stopped swaddling them but it only took a couple of days of them getting used to their hands again. I didn't stop swaddling them until they were 5 months old though. 11 weeks seems awful early to stop swaddling. Good luck with whatever you decide to do. :)

A.

Just my opinion obviously, but I don't understand why you would want to stop the thing that is soothing him. If you go back to Dr Karps book/dvd, you will notice the 4th trimester part. Your baby being born early is in that stage still! My advice is to just do what works and don't worry about keeping a schedule., The baby is the one who ultimately determines that. Having said that, I was there where you are too with my first! Good luck

I have twin boys that were a month early. One of them has always been very active also. One thing that we had for them were baby papisan chairs. It vibrates, plays soft music, and is very cozy and warm. They loved these and slept very well in them when we quit swaddling them. The only thing they were interested in at your son's age was their rainforest mobiles. They would stare at those, and the music put them to sleep. They didn't really start playing with their little toys until 4 1/2 months or so. Now that they are sitting up, they love their jumparoo and exersaucer! Hope this helps.

I am a mother of four. All of my babies slep on their tummies as the movement of their hands would startle them awake. I am not encouraging you to have him sleep on his stomach.

Also I believe you can read every book there is, but all children are different. I comforted each of my babies differently. Believe it on not he will grow out of the swaddle stage. Just try different things and go with your gut feeling on what you should do to comfort him. Remember you are his mom. Also all my babies loved to sleep on daddy.

I loved to use the blanket sleeper for both my children, a son who is now 6 and daughter 17 months. My son was a great baby, but my daughter was a kicker and mover like your son. My children moved too much for swaddling, so I used the blanket sleepers. They worked well for me. Crying out it a personal choice. If you can do it, I reccommend it. We have not succeded with it and our yopungest, is not a very good sleeper. A very active sleeper and I can not find a way to control it. I reccommend getting sleeping habits started now, and the ones you want, if co-sleeping is not an option, then do not bring the child into your bed with you.

As for toys, I love books. There are great soft books out there that are good for little ones to hold. Also the teething rags are good for when they start teething. Any kind of teethign rattle is great. The toys that they can lay under or on like the mats are also a great way to stimulate and get good tummy time. Just my advice... Hope it helps- good luck.

Each baby needs more time for swaddling, there is nothing wrong with swaddling. If you think about even as adults love to wrap in our blankets at night. I do not think you should let a infant cry it out. When they are infant they need to be nurtured and know that someone is there for them. Some cultures carry there baby all the time and they still develop at the same rate as our kids.

I've been using the Happiest Baby on the Block techniques with my 6 week old. I really like it!

Try swaddling your little guy with one arm in and one arm out. According to the book, this is the way to "wean" him from swaddling.

Good luck!

Hi T.,

I would ask your child's doctor before making him cry it out especially since he was born early. It sounds like his neurological system is still maturing -- with the flailing limbs. If you are looking to sleep train him there are different schools of thought on CIO and when to do it. I don't remember anything that I have read saying anything earlier than 6 months. In the end, nobody knows your baby better than you. However, pediatricians can be wonderful resources. They have seen so much!!

On the flip side. I just started reading the Super Nanny book. I felt guilty when I read that when you respond to your child's cry is comforts him or her and let's them know that you are there to meet their needs (not what made me feel guilty). She went on to say that when you do not respond to your baby's cries it tells the child that nobody is there to meet his or her needs. It really made me think about my thoughts on CIO all together.

Best of Luck to You.

Hi T.,
I see you got lots of responses ;)

I slept both of my kids on their tummy, that's how they slept best. I tried swaddling but I felt like I was restraining them. I wish I had done it more.

I did have to let my children CIO, but I can honestly say it was between 6 and 7 months that they both were able to self-soothe. When I tried before that, they'd cry for an hour or two!!! I would keep going in over and over and over and flip them, give them a paci, pat the butt, you name it! They threw up... It was so stressful tp push it prematurely.

Now, my sister was a different situation, she laid them down awake from the 2st month so when she let them self-soothe her children didn't cry nearly as long. She didn't have to wait as long.
I think all children are different.
I am not an advocate of letting a baby under 6 months cry, on the flip side, women telling me they're 18 or 22 or 24 month old still awaken through the night or has to be driven to sleep is also ridiculous...

I think as many mentioned, follow your instinct, but also a healthy medium is important IMO for our children to develop into loving, confident and also independant individulas.

My daughter constantly startled herself awake from the moment we brought her home from the hospital - never did it when she was at the hospital, of course. I watched her do it one night for about 2 hours, she never cried but never got any sleep either. The only thing that instantly stopped the startling was to let her sleep on her side. The pediatrician "mentioned" but not recommended because they are not allowed. They sell positioners at the baby stores and it worked immediately. Made for much happier nights.

You need to check out ezzo.info... It is not appropriate to let an 11 week old baby "cry it out." This only teaches them that no one will meet his needs, and he can't trust you to be his mother. You should throw that advise in the garbage and start being a mother who follows her heart and lets love guide her! If you do, you will be rewarded with a baby secure in her relationship with you, and later able to reach out securely to others. If you don't, you could end up with long term seperation problems, and a lack of trust in his mom... Not good!

Hi T.,

I would continue to swaddle him. My daughter is 4 1/2 months old and is still swaddled. She needs the comfort. With your son being early he may still need it as well. The doctor told me that it is ok to continue to swaddle until Audrey is rolling from her back to her belly. Good luck. Let me know how it works out.

I wouldn't suggest letting him "cry it out". Your baby is still very young! Young babies and toddlers (under 3 years) still very much need their help and guidance parents to help them fall asleep. Small babies that sleep through the night are pretty much a myth. Sure, some babies will sleep for longer spans of time than others, but do not feel bad because your baby wakes often.

Starting a bed time routine now may become helpful in the future. Laying with your baby may also be a great way to help them fall asleep with out crying.

I suggest Elizabeth Pantley's "No Cry Sleep Solution". The book is full of good tips and realistic advice.

Remember- no baby is going to sleep through the night just because you choose to ignore it.

I have to agree with some of the other moms, that 11 weeks is too early to cry it out. I have had great success with that method, but I would wait awhile - my daughter slept good until she was 6 months old, and that was the first time we did it. It only takes a couple of nights to work. Congrats on the new baby!

First of all, you will get planty of opinions about leting him cry, ignore them. It works and it is a blessing to have a child who can soothe himself to sleep, calm himself without aid of swing or your arms. Is he a pacifier boy>? Our son loves his rainforest in his crib. He watches it and falls asleep.

As for toys, my son loved his playmat at that age, mirrors that stand up so he can lay on his tummy and look at it, and his bouncy seat so that he can look around. WE also would put him in front of a low window so he could look outside. He is really too young to "play" with toys though. He did have two that he loved. One was a soft fleece tag blankets(fleece with tags around-great) and a star by First Years that crinkled in the middle and had different textures on the corners. He loved it so much he "de-crinkled: it, very cheap and worth every penny.

We loved toys by infantino, First Years, Sassy and when he gets older, go for Melissa and Doug.

Swaddle him if it works! My pediatrician told me not to use the cry it out method until my son was 4 months old. Why not let him nap in his swing? If that works at this young age use it! I have never heard of or been told by any professional that a baby that little had to nap in his bed or sleep un-swaddled.

It's way too soon to start letting your baby "Cry it out". You have to help him learn to calm himself down and leaving him alone to cry it out will teach him the opposite at this young age. Please read the Dr. Sears Baby Sleep Book. You'll find it will help you very much. I also have a very active baby.

When talking to our pediatrition she resommneded swaddeling through 3 months. We were suprised but she said you know they are ready to be un swaddled when you can leave one arm about and your baby can still sleep without waking himself up. Then leave out a second arm and eventually get rid of it all together.
My son loved the gym/mat toy thing. Ours was baby enistein but I have see several brands. It's great fun while they are laying down.

Hi Taffany,

Sometimes when the babies are young there are parts of them that have not fully developed yet, so you end up doing on the outside what should have taken place on the inside.

I do believe that they have baby size pillow that you can lay him between on his side or back. Sometimes those things work for infants. You can also remember to not keep that house too quite during the day while he is napping so that he will become accoustomed to background noises. That helps them to learn to sleep better.

There are not many infant toys on the market, because most of their time is spent sleeping, eating and staring. Anything soft with tons of bright colors would be a good start.

My four-year-old was swaddle, arms in, until she was almost 1! She was swaddled waste down until 2. Some kids like that. When we stopped rocking her, the first "cry out" session was 10 minutes, and after that she never fussed about being put straight down. Every kid is different, so go with your gut, you know your son better than anyone else. Swaddling provides security too, have you tried a binky or placing the cloth you use when nursing/bottle under his head? I used to flatten my daughter's nursing cloth under her head for the comfort of the smells of me and milk.

Good toys: Discovery Toys are great. I can hook you up with a friend that sells them if you'd like. Both by kids, I have a 21 month old too, like balls of all kinds, stack 'em cars, primary colored stacking cups, fabric tunnels (great for active little ones to crawls through), and mt personal fav the 1" or larger legos.

Good luck!

The Fisher-Price Roll a round balls and Peek a blocks. I got these for my son and he is 3 now and still plays with them. they have many toys you can add with them like a dinosaur and elephant. There are so many choices you will want them all.

I would worry about letting your baby cry it out. Spoil him while he is little (not extreme). If he likes to swing let him. Don't try to soon to wean him...you will have plenty of time for that later. Our baby hardly ever cried his first year and he will get his blanket and lay down on his own to this this.

T., I know my kids loved those jumper bouncers that you attach in an open door way. He's not ready for that now, but it's great for when they are a little older and have a lot of energy to burn! Have fun! N. L.

Hey T.,

Our oldest had the same issues. It was a long time ago, she is almost 16 now! We just went with what worked, she took a pacifier and I swaldled her (if you go to the fabric store and have them cut a 45 wide pice of baby flanel into 1 1/4 yards it will be square and this is much easier!)

We had a swing with a removeable seat. I put her in the swing, cranked it up, and by the end of the cycle, she was a alseep. I just took the entire swing chair off and put it in the crib. She slept this way for months. She graduated to sleeping on her own in the crib when her little system let her.

PS: we cant GET HER OUT of bed now! Enjoy this time, it goes so fast!

Ok First let me say that I don't think letting an 11 week old preemie cry it out is the best thing to do, but to each his own, and swaddling is truely probally the only way you will be able to get him to sleep soudly if he startles himelf awake, I watch a 16 month old that was swaddled untill she was a year old to sleep. As for your question though if he takes a pacifier then his hands aren't nearly as important to the self soothing, if not when you wrap him make sure that you leave one arm, elbow bent across his chest with his hand close to his mouth so he can get to his fingers. another thing, instead of using the swing, rock him untill he is almost out, then lay him down, pat his back or rub his tummy or even smooth his hair, what little there probally is so he stays calm and can learn to fall asleep without the help of the swing or the trauma of screaming himself to sleep. it will take time but so does crying it out and even that isn't garunteed to do anything other than drive you crazy. as for toys I love leap frog products and so do my kids even now.

The real question is how is he supposed to learn to self-sooth when he's so young all he knows is that when he's sad, scared, tired, etc...that mom is there for him? What is wrong with using the swing? He'll learn to self-sooth when he's ready and if he was early to begin with, I wouldn't push him by making him scream his head off until he learns that he's on his own and you aren't willing to go to him anymore.
There's no such thing as spoiling a baby with love and time together. Babies who are nursed to sleep every nap and night time have been proven to be the least dependent later on. Hold him, swing him, love on him and don't teach him that you won't be there when he needs you.

With my boys I didn't start to enforce cry it out until 3-4 months. We did have a Flutterbye Musical Projector that attaches to the crib and it worked GREAT!! AND when they were a little older they could turn it on themselves and be satisfied for longer in the morning!
Also we used Swaddler Wraps until the boys got too big for them.

Have you tried a 'Swaddle Me'? They're made by JJ Cole, you can get them @ Babies R' Us or Toys R' Us. I used one for both of my babies & they LOVED it. My daughter would put herself right to sleep - no help needed, just swaddled her & laid her down. However, my son needed a pacifier...still does 16M later, much to my chagrin, Anyhow...my daughter liked being swaddled so we kept it up until she didn't fit in the swaddle me anymore...we would just leave her hands out as she got older, she just liked the feeling of being swaddled from the chest down. It's really trial & error, you'll eventually figure out what works best for your baby.

My son's favorite toy at 3M was the Fisher Price floor gym. He loved to kick and hit at the toys haning from it.

Good Luck!

AR