Surprise! Im Pregnant???

Oh A....I've never responded to anyone on Mamasource, but I have to respond to you because I've been in your shoes!! I am the mother of 4 kids, ages 4, 5, 6, and 8. Yes, I didn't do a typo with their ages. They were each a year apart, essentially. My older three are girls, like you. My fourth turned out to be a boy. The first year of having them all was the hardest year of my life. It is a huge financial challenge, having 4 kids. My heart goes out to you because I know what you are up against. (You should know, too, that I did not plan my 4th! I got pregnant with him when my 3rd was 2 months old!!! And, yes, I was nursing!). To comfort you, I want to tell you that I survived, my body has returned to pretty much how it was, and I am now sleeping a good 6-8 hours a night. The last 4 years have been HARD, don't get me wrong. But just keep the faith that things will get easier as the baby grows. And even if you can't afford to give your kids all the things other kids have, if you focus on loving them and spending quality time with them, that is all they really crave and need in the end. Good luck to you!!

1 mom found this helpful

Hi A.!
I am currently 7 months pregnant and I also have a 2 year-old daughter. I nursed my little girl up until about a month ago when she decided one night that she didn't want to nurse anymore. So it is perfectly fine and do-able to continue nursing. The pain of nursing while pregnant is quite painful though, and that doesn't change, unfortunately. Good luck on your new, not-exactly-planned adventure :)

CONGRATS! There will always be enough love for another baby. Even though you can't imagine how..it's just there.

We have 3 kiddos and my experience is that people tend to make kids more expensive then they really are. We think we need to get them more and more new and better stuff. That's SO not true! They don't need a lot for the first few years of life so try not to put pressure on yourself to get EVERYTHING for the baby. You just don't need most of it!
Sit down with your hubby and come up with a plan for who will sleep where and if you need a bigger car, ect. It'll make you feel better to have a plan.
Somehow, you will be able to give each kiddo attention. You just settle into a routine and it works out. Schedules will be your friend!
As far as your body goes, 14 mnths is plenty of time to heal! We are very resiliant and our bodies are amazing things! You and your baby will be just fine as long as you pay attention to your health and take care of yourself! I got pg with #2 when #1 was 14mnths and got pg with #3 when #2 was 14mnths! Although I was extra tired from having toddlers, it was a great pregnancy. You have older kids to help!
I have never had a c-section so I can't talk about having another but I can tell you that you can go for a VBAC and if you do AVOID being induced at all costs. The biggest worry in VBAC is uterine rupture, but what they don't tell you is that the chances of that are less than 1% and of that 1% MOST of the ruptures happen to women who were induced!

I was still nursing #2 when I got pg with #3 and it did hurt since my boobs were very sore, but I didn't want to stop either. You can absolutly nurse through your pg and tandum nurse as long as you want to after that!

The key is to ask for and accept help! You are not meant to do everything yourself..you need help and support. Don't feel guilty.

I'm not a dr but I have studied pregnany, birth, and babies for over 6 years and have birthed 3 kiddos, so feel free to ask me anything. Especially about VBAC. Sometimes you don't get the full story from drs..

A.

I don't have any advice just wanted to say "good for you" and congrats! Best of luck. Things always have a way of working out for the better. I'm sure it will be wonderful.

First, go see your ob/gyn and get some medical advice that is unique to your body, regarding nursing and delivery options. We all have our unique experiences, but this is your body and your preganancy, best to be talking with your doctor.

The finances, the housing situation, the transportation concerns... those are real challenges, but not insurmountable. The good news is that you have two older daughters who are close in age, who can play and relate to the challenges of puberty and school, and now your 14 month old will have a new sibling close in age to share many things with because they will be close in age. Your older daughters will be able to help as well, learning to be more responsible for themselves, ie laundry, cleaning their rooms, helping with dinner, etc.

Your husband is probably just as excited and unsure of the future, but the good news is that you're all going thru this together. And together you can make anything happen.

But see your ob/gyn, get on your prenatals or whatever other supplements they may want you on because you are nursing. My first 2 kids were 22 months apart, and I was nursing #1 child when I found out I was pregnant with #2, not as frequently as you are, but we weaned shortly there after. Again, prenatals!!

Congrats!!!

Don't stress, that is what is bad for you! You can still breast feed, and they say the body needs one year to recover from a pregnancy. My son was 11 months old when I found out I was pregnant with #2, and all went well. And I also am no spring chicken! You will do great! Find a good Doctor or Midwife you trust, relax, and enjoy the ride.

Take one day at a time. You can do that. And talk to your ob or midwife about your body strengths. Other women have done it and so can you. Breathe deeply, enjoy your children, and love your husband.

And congratulations on all your beautiful children.

you'll be okay, and the funny thing about life is, when you are 80 years old you will look back and remember your children, and all the good times, you will not remember any of the stress and worry. I wish we could escape all this worry now and just enjoy...but it is the nature of being a mom I think. As for the c-section, just wait and see as it gets closer - Both my two kids were born by c-section, (not by choice) but it all worked out fine.

You will get through this! And you all will thrive. GET HELP FROM FAMILY OR HIRE SOMEONE,Take time for yourself and just love on that 14 month old. I had a surprise 4th and it was really hard. I just didn't think I had enough(love, time, affection, etc.) in me for a 4th. God gives you the extra, even when you don't feel it. It turned out wonderful for us to have 4. It gave our 3rd a playmate(her older sisters were twins and she sometimes felt left out) and having her rounded out the family. 3 kids is sometimes tricky. Anyway, she just got married to a wonderful guy and is living happily ever after a fairy tale wedding. When I was pregnant with her I could never imagined that she would be such a blessing. But, make sure the 14 month old gets lots of attention too. That is really young to have a sibling, but it will all work out. You are truly blessed.

I don't have anything to offer, but encouragement! After having one child with special needs, my husband & I were talking about not having any more kids & then SURPRISE! Before we had a chance to make that decision, it was made for us. I had A LOT of fears, some different then yours, some the same. I was just so shocked & nervous. Anyway, looking back I can see now that our family was NOT complete without Aly. She completed our family! So, as complete as you may have thought your family was, it wasn't! This baby was meant to have a spot on your family tree & everything that you are worrying about will fall into place! It will... you will be fine. Just the fact that you are thinking about these things & worrying about them now, tells me that you will be on top of things & will keep yourself informed & under good care! God bless...

My brother's are only 14 months apart...I'm sure you'll do great!

Remember, you have 9 months to prepare, think about and get everything in order - in the meantime you should just (try to LOL...I know with a 14 MO) relax... :)

but...Congrats!

IMO....you'll be so glad that you are having another baby. I had a 10 and 7 year old when I had my last one 19 years ago. they are now 29, 26 and 19. The last one truly felt like a only child once the others were out of the house. She would have really like a sibling close to her age.

The last thing I heard was that a woman's body takes about 1 year to return to prepregnancy status. You and the baby shouldn't be in any danger at all. My oldest was about 13 months when we got pregnant again. The pain of breastfeeding that you're experiencing now will go away. For me, it was at about 10 weeks that it started to lessen. You absolutely don't need to wean! What got me through it was knowing that my oldest needed my milk. The current recommendations are that kids nurse until at least 2 years old which will get you the whole way through your pregnancy. :) It's also completely possible (and beneficial) to nurse 2 kids together. There's a great book called "Adventures in Tandem Nursing" that I would recommend. I'm also happy to offer you more of my experience, just send me a pm. My toddler nursed through my whole pregnancy and is continuing to nurse with my newborn.

One thing that might start happening is that you might have contractions while you're nursing. That's normal and not a problem. If by any chance you have any bleeding with it, check in with your care provider. That's unlikely, but that is one thing to keep an eye out for. Another thing to keep in mind is that some kids will wean during a pregnancy because the milk changes flavor and will change back to colostrum at some point. Mine didn't care and nursed the whole time and even while I was in labor.

Congarts. I think all your feelings are perfectly legit. It's OK to have anxiety and wonder what is going to happen. It's a nice surprise for you. You'll do fine.

As far as your body and the baby are concerned, you should be healed enough for another pregnancy. I had a surprise when my oldest had just barely turned 1 and that pregnancy went just fine. Breastfeeding on the other hand, your 14 month old will probably stop on its own as your hormones will change your milk and may even start drying you up.

Congratulations! You will be just fine. Everything will work out. Enjoy your newest addition to what sounds like a beautiful family that has a mother who cares enough to worry a little;)

A.--- shocks are alway-- ummm shocking-- but it looks to ME like you're going to have two nicely matched sets. You have 2 older children---quite close together---and your body had decided to create another matched set with your little one and a baby--- . So- the 14 month old will be a big sister at 2 years ----that is not so terribly close ( I don't mean it's drop-dead ideal---but I know lots of people who have a new one and a 15 or 16 month old--- THAT is way too close- although sometimes it works out great. I had my last child at 37 - and my ob said his wife had HER last at 46 ( and that was 26 years ago!!!)) Take really, really, good care of yourself for the next 40 years ( and don't stop then) --- be kind to yourself -- it should be great -- I never regreted being pregnant at 37 --- it was fine.

Blessings,
J.-- aka - Old Mom ( still mothering-- now I'm mothering grandchildren who need more ''hands on''' care--- I feel totally fortunate)

Congratulations! My doc told me that you only have to wait 9 months after a c-section to get pregnant. I actually think she said it's still possible before that, but at least 9 months was her recommendation. So you're in good shape!