A.K. asks from Frisco, TX on January 28, 2010
Surprise 40Th B-day
Hello ladies, hoping you could help me. I'm wanting to throw a suprise 40th for my hubby at a restaraunt but have never been to one before and do not know what all I'm responsible for financially? There will be around 25 people and trying to figure out if I invite everyone am I responsible for the entire bill? Do I pay for all the drinks and dinner? Just didn't know if this was something I could afford. I can't have it at our house because I have kids and the babysitter will be watching them. Any help in figuring this out would be appreciated.
So What Happened?™
Thanks ladies that really does help! I agree that we should pay but my mom was the one telling me the parties she's been to everyone pays for their own dinner...I thought that sounded strange but had to ask. I agree I'll just have to take away the guilt and scale down the invites or look into a rec hall great ideas. we can't use our home my kids are too small to go out for any length of time. Thanks again it really does help!
T.F. answers from Dallas on January 29, 2010
If I am hostess of a function, I pay the entire expenses. I was raised that if you host, you pay. You don't ask for donations, etc.
If you can't foot the entire bill, then scale the party down so that you can.
K.B. answers from Houston on January 28, 2010
In general, yes you would be responsible for the entire bill. You could state on the invitation that it will be a cash bar which would get you off the hook for the alcohol but the dinner and non-alcoholic drinks you would be paying for. Are there any other family members who would help to throw the party? Depending on what kind of restaurant it is, you could probably just do an appetizer buffet bar instead of dinner to save you some money.
S.H. answers from Honolulu on January 28, 2010
Well the ones I have been too, yes the "host" pays for it....since he/she is the one that made the party and it is for her/his spouse.
Or, perhaps you can make the people who drink, have their own tab.
I don't know what "Miss Manners" would say...
A.K. answers from Boston on January 28, 2010
Any local halls you could rent inexpensively? Best bet would be if he's a member of a club. Can the babysitter take the kids to dinner and then a movie? When they come home they can go right bed. Are the kids old enough to go on sleepovers? Keep thinking!
C.T. answers from Dallas on January 29, 2010
My sister-in-law and I threw our husbands a surprise party at a restaurant once a few years ago and our friends did pay their own bills, but it was only a few very close friends and they wouldn't have let us pay anyway. We didn't send out invites, just asked some friends if they wanted to join us the week before. However, if we would have sent out invites and invited lots of people, then I would have felt obligated to pay for all of it. So, maybe you could have the party at home for a large group or just do a small gathering of family and close family friends at a restaurant and have a larger party at home aterward with just finger foods, cake and drinks for everyone.
L.N. answers from New York on January 28, 2010
well if it is your invitation then you're responsible for the bill. it will get tricky if you try, let's say, let people know they're only covered for this amount of drinks.
i have been to surprise b-day parties at restaurants, and even though people usually offer to pay some, the person organizing it would refuse the 'donations.' so, your house may be the way to go if you want to keep the cost low.
P.W. answers from Dallas on January 28, 2010
I have a couple of other suggestions if the cost is climbing higher than you had planned.
You can rent a room out at a local rec center that would be affordable. Then recruit your friends to help you cook and decorate. Or ask a friend to host at their house and make it coffee and dessert only. That can be very nice. You could take your husband out to dinner with friends to celebrate, then go back to their house....... surprise!