Summertime Swimming = PANIC ATTACK!

Let me start this by saying that I personally am not a water lover or strong swimmer, everyone else in my family is.

Fear can be a powerful motivator for diligence in watching your children and not letting your guard down when they are swimming. We lived at my parents' house with a pool in the back yard for 2 years when my now 7 and 9 year old boys were between 1 1/2 and 3 1/2 and 3 1/2 and 5 1/2. We were there regularly in the 3 years following as the kids got older and our now 3 year old was born and introduced to the water. Every single one of my boys has taken an "unexpected swim underwater", hence the adult assigned to watch them has often gone in fully dressed with keys and wallets in pockets. It happens, even when watching kids diligently - they can fall in and go under water - and it happens fast and it happens SILENTLY. But did you catch the fact that I said an adult was assigned to "Watch" the kids, not hold on to them and make sure they didn't get near the water. And when I say watch I mean, not reading, not doing a crossword puzzle, I mean eyes on the kids around the pool area at all times. At least one adult is on watch duty whenever my kids are in and around water, whether in my parents back yard or at the public pool or at the beach. We do not assume that another adult will notice if the assigned watcher goes inside - we communicate to one another and make sure the adults know who is watching. When there is only one adult available, kids come out of the water and away from the pool deck if for some reason the adults attention needs to be off of the kids for a few minutes. So - you will not be able to relax - but hopefully you can put aside some of your anxiety. Just recognize that you are NOT being overprotective if you refuse to take your eyes off of your children when they are in the water or near the water. If you are uncomfortable still get one of those float suits - not a vest or water wings, but the full body suit with float pads built in. They still allow great range of motion so the kids can learn to swim - but the keep them above the water. However, still stay diligent - don't get "comfortable" because she is in the suit.

I hope you can have a great summer swimming and enjoying water activity.

T.

2 moms found this helpful

Hi L.,
Although I have always loved swimming, boating and waterskiing, I have dealt with the same thing. My youngest son had a very bad experience with his first swimming lesson.
I urge you to not pass the fear onto your daughter. Find swimming lessons that are given by someone you trust. It will ease your fears once she can swim. As parents, we need to be very diligent when children are around water, so keep that up.
Good luck and God bless.
V.

I'm not a very social person at the pool because I can't take my eyes off of my youngest son who can't swim yet. For me my kids were at least 6 before they could really swim in the water and I didn't have to actually get in too. It may be a while, but just make sure you stick with the instruction every summer (and even in the fall, winter and spring) so she's a strong swimmer when she's older. It's one of those necessary life skills.

Instead of group lessons, why not private lessons. That way you can ensure your daughter gets one on one attention with a certified instructor.

I teach swimming. I can tell you that most pools leave the instruction to the teachers, the safety ultimately lies with the life guard on duty. If you are that concerned about her safety make sure that you pick a class/time of the day that has low enrollment for a group class. You should be able to discuss this with the Aquatics Director to ensure you get a good, experienced teacher, low student/teacher ratio and quieter day of the week - that means NO Saturdays! A quieter day means the guard will have less people and noise, keeping him/her more in tune with the little ones taking the class.

Email me if you need more suggestions.

Sara

Well... one thing that MIGHT help... is that drowning is easy to fix. I've been drowned myself about 5 times for training purposes, not including partial drowning (waterboarding). :P Not fun, but SUPER easy to resuscitate.

Another is to Make Sure she is in the type of class that has a max of 2-3 toddlers per instructor. More than that and the instructor cannot physically keep track/eyes/& hands on all of them. Some of the public pools/Y's have TERRIBLE swimming instructors & policies...(some have great ones, always go view them before putting $ down). Some terrible ones I've seen have toddlers who are expected to hang onto a wall for most of the class (they don't have the arm strength or the patience yet... look for toddler classes that have them on the steps), classes where there are more than 4 (I've seen as many as 8!!!!) even 4 is pushing it) ETC. Another thing to look for are the Mom-n-me classes.

Toddlers should have hands on them 100% of the time, unless they're sitting on the stairs (but if on the stairs the instructor should be facing them at all times and never more than about 6 feet away... aka a 1 second glide&scoop), until they're bobbing/gliding/floating/able to monkey walk the wall/hold their breath on their own and jump up from the bottom, . As they're learning to do these things the instructor should never be more than 6 INCHES away. (Essentially the instructor has their hands right there, but isn't touching.) Kids learning to swim will ALWAYS gulp water (we call it swallowing fishies)... which can be scary (hence the silly name and lots of praise). Learning to sputter though, and to breath selectively is a vital part of the swimming process.

The best classes also have parent seating within about 3-4 feet of the pool stairs, which adds extra eyes and hands in case of emergency. Also siblings/other kids should NOT be allowed to be anywhere near the water's edge during the class. (These are usually the near drowning cases I've personally seen... they're not actually in the class, and they slip in and sink. Parents are gabbing or nowhere to be seen, and the instructors are all eyes and hands on the kids they're responsible for. Do note, I said near drowning... in every single case the sinker has been scooped out within seconds. -Good swimming instructors are hypervigilant and so are parents watching the water instead of socializing. No resuscitation even necessary. ).

The same rules for instructors go for parents as well. Until they're swimming on their own, keep your hands on them or near them at all times (avoid avoid avoid blow up stuff, although tight fitting life vests are fine for non-lesson/non-practice time, you should still stay within a few feet of them), NEVER take your eyes off of them... even when they're capable swimmers, keep an eye on them..

I grew up on the water, later worked in the water, and am essentially half fish. LOVE the water. But fear clouds judgement (hence why drowing was part of my rescue swimmer training). Find a place that you trust, follow a few simple safety rules, and you'll be fine.

I would highly recommend not doing just any swim lessons. My children have both been though survival swimming through Infant Swim. They teach not only swimming skills, but also more important survival skills. I am confident that if either of my children, ages 2 and 5, fell into the water they could survive because of the skills they have learned. You can check these type of lessons out at www.infantswim.com
The lessons are one on one and very gentle. Again I would highly recommend this.

Swimming lessons are a good idea. If a trained instructor teaches her how to swim, she should be safer (although would still need to be closely supervised of course.) Also, you could take a CPR/Lifesaving course. You might feel more confident if you knew what steps to take in an emergency. You might avoid the lake at first, and stick to swimming at a pool when there is an instructor and lifeguards present, until you feel that your daughter knows how to swim.

Have one on one lessons. Just your daughter and the instructor. My son took his first lessons in a class with 6 other kids, his second class had two instructors and 13 kids. Finally this past summer was only him and the instructor and it was great! He finally learned how to swim and I had no worries b/c the instructor was only focusing on him. When he did have the lessons with other kids, I sat right there by the pool and watched. When it was one on one, they wanted me to leave so he was not distracted. I would strongly recommend the one on one lessons so she is the instructor's only focus and so she really learns how to swim but if you are that worried about her and have that much anxiety, let her go to a lesson where you can stay and watch her. That will give her a chance to get used to the water and you a chance to see her do ok then next summer, get private lessons.

L.,
I think it would be a good idea to take a "mommy and me" swimming class. See if there are any clubs or rec centers in your area that offer that. I think by you being right there, seeing how much she is learning, and understanding what she can do, will help you to be consoled. Do it now so that you are prepared for summer.
Good luck!
E.

hi, i love those swim suits that have the built in life jacket. no way she can take off the jacket. walmart carries them. my daughter used one until she was 8, they are cute. very safe. good luck, mom of 7. R.

i agree with mommy and me classes. what about also getting a small pool for you and her in the summer?

Looks like you got a lot of good advice regarding the swimming, but you really might want to consider seeking some help for your anxiety. If not for you, for your kids because living with someone who is constantly fearful of what "might happen" is not good for them. I only say this because you mention that your are a high anxiety person. You don't want your fears and anxiety to rub off on them to the point that they do not live life.

I agree completely with doing the swimming lessons. One thing we have done with both of our boys is that until they can completely swim across the pool - without any assistance - they are in a life jacket. My oldest was 6 or 7 when he was able to come out of one and my 5 year old will still be in one this year. We of course are always in the pool with them at all times but it does give some ease of mind to know that he will have that on. It also gives him a little ease of movement to be able to jump in and move around a little bit on his own without someone have to hold him all the time. Again - we are in the pool and within arms reach but it does give some ease of mind.

did she actually almost drown or did she just go under? big difference. my then 1 year old went under all the time and i heard another mother say "some people need to watch their kids" we were watching her. they dont learn what to do if they dont go under. point being relax a little. I grew up swimming maybe thats why i dont freak out over it. look in to the ymca and get used to being in the water with her. have fun!

You get over this by having her take swim lessons, L.. Swim lessons, and more swim lessons! The amazing thing that I watched with both of my sons was the transformation they went through, going from not being able to do anything in the water, to feeling a bit comfortable, to all of a sudden no longer "hugging the wall" in the regular summer pool, but being in the middle of the pool having a great time. I was exclaiming about this to my husband, who was a little fish from a baby on (his mother taught him to swim), and he said that a child will do what is easiest in the water. Once they learn to swim, swimming is the easiest way to get around in the pool.

The best way to keep your child safe is by teaching them to swim. My dad learned how to swim after he almost drowned as a college student. My mother was never even in a pool until she was much older (walking in the pool for her knees as an older woman) and shared her fear of the water with us as children. I was in a pool for about 4 hours total in one week of camp when I was 7 years old, and then again when I was 13, 14 and 15. It wasn't until I was in college that I learned proper swim techniques so that I could pass PE and the swim test required to graduate. How I wish my mom had gotten me swim lessons as a child so that I would feel comfortable in the water! To this day, I dislike getting in a pool.

So embrace this gift to your daughter, watch her take her lessons, show her how excited you are for each and every swimming milestone she passes. You cannot believe how wonderful it will be one day to see her on a swim team, swimming like a little fish, and winning ribbons! Her self-confidence will soar and she will appreciate what you have done with her for years to come!

If you show your panic and anxiety about this, you will just cripple her ability to learn to swim, and further compromise her safety. Whatever else you have anxiety about, it will just cause her all kinds of problems to project your anxieties onto her. Do her the favor of letting her enjoy activities without freaking out about her trying new things. You don't want her to be scared of trying new things.

All my best,
D.