Summer Schedules: How to Enjoy Each Other While Getting Things Done

Well, it looks like you got lots of good advice already. I just want to add that to me it sounds like you are a genuinely caring mother that wants to really make the most of your time with your children. In the morning, we do a few mandatory chores which for us are beds, throw dirty clothes over our rail(where one kid gathers and puts in laundry room), each kid grabs a garbage and brings to kitchen where we replace bag and then return to its place, then dishes. These are required for us before any playtime. My kids know this and are sometimes ahead of me reminding them. One of my helps is the "laundry basket clean". When clutter starts to build, we just throw everything in the laundry basket and in a snap you are ready for company. I sort the basket later and take all items that belong to a room at the same time to avoid getting distracted going from one room to the next or getting snagged by a mini project in a room. The laundry basket clean is a great help for bedrooms too. You make the bed, and gather the garbage(as mentioned in my required list) then you can gather anything out of place including clothes on the floor, shoes, papers, toys etc, sort and return to room. Also, we keep all the toys centrally located, not in seperate rooms so all toys get dumped into the toy room to be put away together at clean-up time.(for us it is right before snack time at night--good motivation.)I do this in the morning because the house can run like this for a long time if needed. Everything else can wait if it must, especially if you start with a fairly decluttered home. Too much of anything is a major challenge for the most put together person in the world to care for. All that being said, I think you are just experiencing motherhood and it sounds like you have good priorities to be doing outings, cleaning, brain time, etc. If you would like a little time to catch things up, I will happily serve you in any way(chores, organizing, polish furniture, help with kids...) for $15. per hour. contact me at ____@____.com if interested. I wish you all the best in raising a beautiful family!!!

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I am a firm believer in everyone in the family playing a role in everything running smoothly. This isn't something that is going to come naturally with kids, they need to be taught responsibility and initiative. I tried 100's of things until I found Accountable Kids. www.accountablekids.com
It worked wonders for us! Is my home perfect? No. Are my kids perfect? No. But we are on the right track! Things are getting done without me constantly reminding and nagging. My kids are learning to balance their responsibilities and their free time and we all really do have more time to spend together.
Check out the website. If you decide it looks like something may work for you, send me a message. I am local and can get it for you with no shipping.
Good luck!
S.

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There is GOLD in this book that will nix all of these problems so you can enjoy your kids and get things done!

Have a New kid by Friday by Kevin Leman

Let me know how it goes!
~A.

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I think you need a flexible schedule for each day of the week. Kids do better with one. I would schedule some activities each week that get you all out of the house. They could even be free or inexpensive things like storytime at the local library or book store, going to the park-check your city recreation guide for free activities all summer. Have a chore chart for each day and let the kids put a sticker on it for each chore they complete with out complaint or you having to constantly remind them to do. Chose a chore or two per day for the older kids and let them choose a chore they would like to do. That way they have a choice in the matter and they are more involved. When they earn a certain number of stickers, they get a reward like a video of their choice, dessert before dinner one night, a board game with mom and dad(no siblings), or an extra 30 minutes to play before bedtime. Also, in our house, my oldest knows that if I have to pick up a toy that is outside of his room or the play room after I have asked him to pick it up, then the toy is mine for the rest of the week. Have a great summer!!

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I have ten children, ranging from ages 33 down to one years old, and have been a foster mom to more than fifty. I've done many things over the years, and here's what works for me right now. First thing is to declutter. Be ruthless. You might want to join the internet site "flylady", she has wonderful ideas to help you get your house in order.
Once that's done, I have rules in place about dragging things all over the house. Then, at least once or twice a day, more if it gets really bad, I call everyone downstairs, and say, "Okay, time to clean." Everyone must help, and we all pick up until the house is done. Sometimes I take my broom if they are being too slow, and just start sweeping everything towards the trash. That usually gets them going, when they see legos, Polly Pockets and so forth going in the trash. Sometimes while we clean, I assign different people to do certain things, like "Angel-Leah, pick up all the newspapers, Luke, pick up all the shoes and put them away, Mary Susannah, clean the table.." and so forth. That keeps the kids from crying "he's not helping!!" If their part isn't clean, I know who worked and who didn't.
These clean ups usually last about ten minutes, rarely longer.
Then they have chores, Mary Susannah hangs the clothes on the line, Beau keeps the trash taken out, Angel-Leah is responsible for keeping couch pillows picked up, so on. They also have paying chores, the older boys do the yardwork, girls are responsible for certain housework. I pay minimum wage for three hours a week, if they do three hours, they get a good allowance. This is over and beyond regular 'keeping the house clean' kinds of stuff.
I have a blog where I write about large families, adoptions, foster care and so forth. I have one post on time management for large families, if you think it might interest you, here's the link:

raleyfamilysfarm.blogspot.com

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First of all, I only have 2 kids, so what works for me, may not work for you. You're obviously going to have lots more laundry, dishes, food prep & clean up.

That being said, I've got a few things that help me...
I have a list taped to the fridge with 12-15 "chores." I use the word "chores" loosely, as they're not really chore, they're daily responsibilities that include brining their own dishes to the sink after a meal, making their bed, reading 30 minutes a day, piano practice, bath/shower, caring for pets, etc. The rule is, we don't do anything else (electronics, TV, playdates, outings, etc.) until their lists are done.
Their lists also include "10 minute surprise job." - I get to name a job each day. It could be putting away a basket of laundry (I do all laundry on one day, rather than random loads throughout the week - I devote a table to sort them into piles by person, while I'm folding, then give each person their basket to put away themselves). The 10 minute job could also be cleaning all the toys in the backyard, sorting out the dvds or wii games when they get out of hand, cleaning out the cabinet where I keep my plastic containers, helping pull weeds out of the flower beds, etc. - you get the idea... just random jobs that need to be done, and that they're fully capable of.
The other thing we do is occasionally, when the house is heading to that "disaster" stage, we'll stop everything and do a "quick cleanup." The kids know mom & dad will stop everything, too and do as much as possible for 5-10 minutes. Sometimes we even start running, to put clothes away, throw out trash, etc - make a game out of it.
Finally, sometimes I give everyone a "vacation day" (including myself) and set out early for an outing. Forget the dishes in the sink and the unmade beds and take a day of fun. It will all be there when you get back, and you'll have some special moments while you're out.
Other than that, I think we all struggle with the challenge of doing fun stuff with our kids and our family, while taking care of responsibilities.

Good luck!
www.familyeguide.com Your guide to affordable family activities in Denton County.

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I have a weekly calendar written out and designate a task to each day - Monday is laundry day, Tuesday cooking (I cook and freeze baby's food), Wednesday bill paying and filing, etc. I also allocated a room for each day so when I get a few moments I go to that room and clean it - for example, next Monday is the master bedroom. I also have written out activities for the kids on to cards and pick out 5 for the week, and we do one each day - like Monday's is Sizes, so we will talk about different sizes, draw shapes of different sizes, get books from the library about sizes,etc. I think this would work really well for you - each time you see an idea you like grab a card an write it down on the card, or keep an activity file. Sort the activities into age groups - at different times of the day one child will be more willing to do the activity (the older child when the baby is sleeping, etc).
I have a heaps of ideas too, like you, and this has really helped me pull it together.
Hope this helps!
This way you day has some structure but is also flexible so you can still go out and do errands or take the kids to the park, etc.

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i get up & do my housecleaning in the morning, this is also when my daughter helps clean up her toys & or sits at her desk & does workbooks & such. in the afternoons is when we try to watch a movie together or go swimming or something fun. of course even though it is summer not every day has fun stuff, sometimes there are errands or whatever but we try to do something like swim, play outside, or something at least 3x's a week.

I know a mom who started her own consulting business for just these types of things! She is a wonderful person. And she knows where you are coming from, being a mom of 4 herself, between the ages of 5 - 10. Check out her website, www.theiMOM.com.

Try flylady.net - it's great at helping keep your house kept up a little at a time so you have time to spend with your kids. She has specific days for specific tasks that work well (I have modified it to fit our lives and it works great). I still have trouble sometimes finding time to do the fun things with my kids, too, (I also work part-time from home so it can be hard to juggle) so the best thing I've learned to do is to put it on the calendar, one thing every day or so and then I work around that (whether little or big). It gives the kids something to look forward to. I also plan an occassional day where I give myself permission to let the kids watch lots of tv and/or plan on them entertaining themselves so I can get some extra things done. I do this guilt free and just get as much done as I can and sometimes use it to rest and/or give myself some free time so I don't burn out. As long as I don't do it often everyone is happy. Good luck whatever you do!

Can't say I've mastered any of it, but here are some things that have worked for me or that I'm planning on trying. First, EVERYONE has rest time at some point during the day. For us, this past week, it was around 3:00. I send the kids to their rooms, put the baby to bed, and I do whatever I need to. One day I took a 10 min cat nap,one day I paid bills, one day I prepped dinner. You get the point. I'm not sure what time will be our rest time next week but it will be at some point when the baby naps b/c I want everyone resting at one time. The second thing is to have a big group pow wow (although I don't know how well the 2yr old will "get" it, but the older ones should). I sit down with my kids each summer and ask them what they want to do - swim, have friends over, bake, tie dye shirts, etc. Then I tell them that in order to do that, mom has to go to the store, and to the grocery store to get supplies, etc. Mom also has to clean house, do laundry, pay bills, etc. So, if we work together, we can all do everything we want to do. Next, as far as doing all those great activites is to have a plan. Maybe pick a theme for the week like bugs - at the beginning of the week have your errand day and get the supplies to need to make bug projects (brown bags to make puppets of bugs, pipe cleaners to make bugs that way, finger paints, etc.) Also go to the library this day to get books on bugs and get a movie about bugs from the library too. Each day or one day during the week, you can do a craft with them about bugs, have them read stories about bugs, watch the movie about bugs (even a fun one like Bugs Life). If you have a plan for the week, it will get done. I'd also encourage you to check out what your local library offers as far as story times, events, movie times, etc. Colleyville library has an entire summer program that gets us out of the house at least once a week which is nice.

As for cleaning, again, make it a group effort. The 2 year old can wipe the door knobs with a clorox wipe, the 6 year old can dust, and the 8 year old can do the toilet with a toilet wand and wipe it with the clorox wipes. You can then do mirrors and floors. If you go room to room together, I find they are more willing to work. Do things like "how fast do you think we can get this done" or tell them we will clean for 15 mintues and then we'll read a story or go somewhere, etc. If you do small bursts, your house will remain clean, maybe not all at the same time, but over the course of the week it should work. If you take the time to make a plan, I think you can do it! I know it's overwhelming, but you can do it! Monday - errands, lunch out (McDonald's with play area, Central Market play area, or picnic lunch), then home for rest time, and brain time (my big kids to math facts and read or write pretty much every day). Tuesday - library visit, craft, rest time & brain time. etc. You can also incorporate a 10 minute clean up time where you set the timer and have each kid go to a specific room to pick it up. Maybe you and the 2 year old clean up the den and kitchen area while the 6 year old checks their room and the guest room and the 8 year old checks their room and the master bedroom. The goal during this 10 mintues is to get everything back to where it belongs.

Good luck!

There's a website called flylady.net that's specifically for the issues you're talking about, and it has some kid-specific tools that might be helpful. I haven't used them myself since my little guy's only 2, but maybe they can help you with your stuff :)

Good luck!

I have three kids ages 3, 6 and 8. Each week I write out a little "schoolwork" schedule for them that consists of about 30 minutes of workbook/reading activities. It hangs on the wall and they know they have to complete their work before the TV, Wii or DS. I also try to schedule one outing per day. It may just be a trip to the park or community pool. I write that on my calendar and schedule everything else around these activities. I now have several friends that I can let know where we are going and when who will often meet us. Most our outings are 1/2 day so that I have some time at home for other things. I figure if you have spent a good 3 hour block of time with your kids per day entertaining them, it isn't such a bad thing to give them a few hours a day where they have to entertain themselves in the back yard or play room. I rarely turn on the TV because it seems like the more time they watch the grumpier they are. They do play video games, but that is limited by batteries! They spend a lot of time building things with Legos, etc. when we are home. I do send everyone to their room for an hour a day for quiet time in hopes that the 3 year old will nap - hahaha.

I have a big trouble with OVER scheduling. One thing a day works for us. I write about a lot of things I do at www.BurbMom.net under the name Texasholly.

I don't have time to read all of the responses right now, so forgive me if I'm repeating (and I definitely WILL read them all later -- I want this advice, too!)

One thing that helps me is the institution of "Quiet Time." My kids are way too old for naps (12, 9, and 7), but during the summer I try to take one hour a day where they need to go to their rooms to read, draw, daydream, play quietly, etc. Not only does it give me a break, but I think it's important for them to learn to entertain themselves creatively without being "entertained" by either me, each other, or the TV/Computer/Wii.

Even though I can sometimes get stuff done while they are watching TV, there is something about having them tucked away in their rooms that is much more relaxing and restful -- at that time I am "off duty" and have no risk that someone's going to start picking on someone, or need something, etc. It just gives me an hour to actually be able to CONCENTRATE with no noise or talking or distractions.

Once they come out of their rooms, the vibe is nice -- calm and peaceful. And then we're ready to engage and more able to enjoy each other.

And I second the recommendation for "Have a New Kid by Friday" by Kevin Lehman. Very common sense and do-able.

Good luck!

Start with one thing at a time and then work your way up. When you do stuff around the house, have the kids help, tell them if they want tv,video, or whatever, they need to be working in the household. They are apart and everyone has responsibilities.

Some small advice--sign up the older ones to VBS in your area. I've done that with mine and it's been a lifesaver. They have fun and I have a bit of quiet time each day. I know you'll still have 2 little ones at home but it will be quieter.

Hello A.,

I am a Professional Organizing and Family Manager. I help moms with all areas of managing their home.

I see you mentioned Time Management....that's so huge to getting organizing and getting your home and everyone it in organized.

I would more than happy to set up a consultation with you and come to your home to give you all kinds of ideas. You can go to my site www.GetOrganized.ws and click on Home Organizing Services then on the drop down menu click on pricing and information... there read all about it.

I will be at IKEA in Frisco today doing an in-store talk and demo at 2pm.. If you can stop by I would be glad to chat with you.

Thanks,

L. B.
www.GetOrganized.ws

Definitely try flylady.net. I'm a new convert! LOL
Seriously, though, she has activities for summertime called Camp Gonnawannafly, and it lets the kids have fun helping you clean while providing rewards and other fun activities for them. Good luck! The site is already making a HUGE difference in my house, and I've only been on it for about 2 weeks.

Here's what i do and it works year-round! Chores for children should not be done everyday it takes the fun out of their precious lives. I have my 10 yr old do hers on saturday -as soon as she wakes up. She has a saturday chore taped on the side of her bookcase. She has had these chores since she was 7. I do all of my MAJOR chores on saturday as well. I dust, vaccuum, do the laundry etc. My husband mows while we are doing this. Then we have the entire weekend to relax and fellowship chore free! We maintain our home during the week-no toys or shoes left out, no dishes in the sink. My two year old loves to help load the dishwasher! Time management is a blessing but only if you know exactly what it is that you want to manage. I hope this helps!

One simple concept: The Critical Inch
Every journey happens one inch at a time...so start out by determining each day what is your most critical inch. What do you absolutely HAVE to get done? Then do THAT first. It is a matter of prioritizing. If you do the critical things first, (say before noon) then if the rest of the day falls apart it really doesn't matter. This will free you up to do whatever you want the rest of the day because you got your priorities done first.

To apply this to children, make a list of things each child must accomplish before you do other "fun" activities". Set a start time and a time they must be finished. If you have one child who refuses to cooperate - don't blow a a cork - just let them sit out the rest of the day. It won't take much down time for them to figure out mom means business and get with the program. Do expect at least one, if not all of them, to test the new mom system. IF/when they do, you can remain calm and cheerful having decided in advance how to handle the situation. Meanwhile, focus on getting your own stuff done so you can have fun too!

Good luck!

Simple stuff.

Dear A.,
You've already rec. so many e-mails, which is great,but it must be overwhelming. Do only what absolutely has to be done and let the kids help as much as possible. They need a break from formal education, that's why it's called Summer Break. You can teach them all sorts of life lessons during daily activities. Chill out, take a deep breath, and slow down. Enjoy your children while they are little, as they grow up much too fast. And guess what? When they grow up and are gone(providing they ever leave home, HA!HA!) the household chores will still be there for you to do. Somehow the chores are never-ending. It's a matter of what's really important in life, and that's the precious gift GOD has given you in those 4 lovely children. GOD'S blessings to you and yours. P.S. Flylady is good, also.

I encourage you to include all the kids in all the household duties. I only have one child, but at 5 years old he already gathers all the trash from all the little trashcans all over the house and takes the trash to the containers. He puts laundry in the washer, transfers it to the dryer and takes it from the dryer to the sofa for folding. He helps me cook meals and helps us clean up the kitchen. He dusts and cleans the windows. He cleans his own room (with my help, of course) but he loves being included and is learning so much from participating in running the house. What he does isn't perfect and sometimes I have to run back over it, but he is learning to be self reliant and is proud of his contribution. And by involving him, we spend more quality time together because we chat the whole time about all sorts of things so he is learning and our relationship is growing. No, he doesn't always want to do it and I don't force him, but most of the time, he is happy to help. We do have plenty of time left for activities, play, watching tv, reading books. He has quiet time where he plays alone in his room or plays a video game while I do something I need to focus on or simply watch one of my shows that I've tivo'd. I know your situations is much harder with so many kids, so I wish you the best of luck...I can tell you are a terrific mom from just what you are trying to do!

My best advice would be to get the 6 and 8 year old to start doing more chores. I too get tired from doing it all and I told my 6 year old (just turned 6) to go and empty the dishwasher the other day. He has helped with this chore every so often, but I was pleasantly surprised that he was able to put absolutely everything away and he did it well. My son also strips his own bed for washing the sheets and he sorts clothes for the laundry. He also puts all of his clothes away (I fold and put on hangers). So, there is a lot a 6 year old can do and even more, I assume, that an 8 year old can do. I recommend that you assign them some chores while you get the youngers ones doing other activities.

Also, I have a screened in porch on my house (which is good because of the shade) and I put a sand box out there. Both my 18 month old AND the 6 year old like the sand box. It's a great place to park them while I have to get a few chores done. If you don't have one, I highly recommend one (in the shade).

-L.