Suggestions on 3 Yr Old Toddler with Insomnia

Hi
I have a 3 yr old son who has been doing the same thing for the last 4 months. At first I tried to be nice and understanding and just take him back to his room b/c I figured he was just having bad dreams. Then when he started waking me and my husband up about 3 times a night I tried to discipline him by taking toys away. This didn't work so we tried to reward him by giving him marbles for sleeping through the night and when he reached 10 marbles he could get a new toy. This did not work either. Now we are content to be finally getting some sleep by placing a sleeping bag on the floor. Ifhe gets in the bag without waking mom and dad up he gets marbles. We have been sleeping soundly for the last month using this method. Granted, he still wakes up and comes in our room but we are not bothered by it b/c he is quiet and I figure he will only be young once. When he's a teenager he will be hiding out in his room not wanting to be bothered with us (hope not), but I am glad to ge my sleep for now!

I would let her fall asleep in your bed. Then, carry her to her own bed once she's asleep. This routine works for my daughter. She falls asleep in about 10 minutes, and ends up sleeping in her own bed. It would take less time than trying to battle w/ her for hours. Maybe she's scared of something in her room? I found out the when my daughter was 2.5yrs, she was afraid of a Mickey Mouse toy, that she got for her b-day. Anyways, if something doesn't work, don't push it - try something different. Good luck!

Hi, how frustrating! I know there are herbs that are supposed to help; however I don't know if they would be appropriate for a child that young, or what the dose would be. If you are interested I have a friend who is an herbalist I could refer you to. Have you tried any of the noise machines or sleep cds? My son has never been a good sleeper and I have tried lots of things; it seems like things will work for a little while, then I have to try something else. I saw several of the sleep/relaxation cd's at MOSI in the gift shop. Weirdly, one thing that worked to help my son fall asleep when he was 4-5ish was a recording of Alice in Wonderland in German (we are not German, we don't speak German) that a friend had loaned me. Weird I know, but when you are exhausted you will try anything! I also got him one of those sound machines that has a variety of nature sounds, as well as white noise. Also, they sell stuffed animals that have a heart beat, which are supposed to be comforting to kids. Do they still make the glow worm stuffed animal? It was popular years ago, and the child can make it light up, but it is soft and they can snuggle with it as well.
Have you considered seeing the pediatrician to rule out any underlying medical issue? They may be able to offer some suggestions as well. If you get end of your rope desperate you could give her children's benedryl which will probably knock her out for a while. I do not believing drugging kids is the answer; I am just suggesting it to offer you one good night's sleep. Good luck!

Hi, we have to sit in our daughter's room for about 10 -15 minutes before she falls asleep. When we don't it end up with her in tears because she wants one of us in there and us frustrated because she won't stay in the bed so we decided 10 - 15 minutes sitting there was better than the battle. We tell her the only way we will stay in her room is if she is quiet, keeps her eyes shut, etc. Also we (probably not as much as we should) go over sleep rules when you get in bed, you 1. close your eyes, 2. stay quiet, 3. go to sleep. The problem we have is she wakes up every night around 2 and sometimes 4 - 5 and wants me to come in there while she falls back to sleep. Not a good nights sleep for me. Still trying to figure out how to stop that.

Hi S. - I know it can be frustrating. I nurse my 2 1/2 year old daughter to sleep every night and there are nights when she won't fall asleep - then my husband will lay with her a few minutes and like magic, she drifts off. She has spans of days when she will wake up in the middle of the night and come get in our bed, but those spans are getting farther and farther apart. I allow this because I remember being a little kid and being scared to death in my bed and wishing I could go in my parents' room but knowing I would get in trouble if I did. I still have a very hard time falling asleep if my husband is not home at night. I can understand the fear that makes her desperate for mommy or daddy to be with her when she falls asleep and that drives her to our bed at times. I like the other mom's suggestion of a sleeping bag by your bed - it's win-win. Best of luck to you!

It sounds to me like she is not ready to just be laid down at bedtime and walked away from. At under 3 that is really young for many kids to accept being alone at night, especially to be expected to fall asleep alone. Every kid is different, and each mature and develop at their own rate...she is clearly not emotionally secure for being alone at bedtime or all night. Why is it necessary to battle with her over this? Would it really be 'winning this battle' if she eventually accepts that nobody wants to provide the security and comfort that she is desperately asking for? You will avoid the battle and more importantly create an enormous sense of trust, comfort and security with you if she knows that you are there for her, no matter how annoying or inconvenient her needs are. Right now she needs you, she is only 2 or 3. I would highly suggest being creative in ways to work this out WITH her, be understanding of her feelings, developing emotions and needs. Find something that is workable that meets her AND your needs. Maybe falling asleep with her each night could be a special time you share....making a memory. You may find that if she falls asleep without all the stress and anxiety of being left alone that she may be more likely to sleep better at night. If she does wake, I would try keeping an open door policy but that she isn't to wake you and can sleep next to your bed on a special blanket, sleeping bag, etc.

My grandmother still to this day tells me how she clearly remembers waking up at night as a small child and going into her parents room for comfort and how she was scolded and taken back to bed, over and over.... She is 84 yrs old and still remembers how bad it made her feel...

Even though she has things in her room make her comfortable, she doesn't have 'everything' she needs since she still comes looking for parental companionship, security and comfort. All needs aren't material...especially for a toddler at night. Best wishes finding a solution that feels right for everyone.