Struggling Student

I have a child with ADHD (They have done away with the term ADD at a clinical level) and can understand your frustration and concern about medication. I would suggest you contact your school's counselor and have him professionally evaluated before you begin any kind of treatment. If your school doesn't have a counselor, you can go to the district level and have him evaluated there. If this is also not an option, then contact a private child psychologist or even your pediatrician for evaluation. When you have a diagnosis, you can then talk to professionals about medication options and research-based data. If you live in Jordan School District, there is a wonderful class taught through the Jordan Family Education Center twice a year that can help answer many of your questions. Based on my experience and research I have chosen to medicate my child, but it took time to find the right med/dosage. I feel absolutely confident in my choice; it doesn't "fix" your child, but it helps them find the focus to succeed which results in more confidence and self-esteem. Good luck.

On a side note, I read the response from Amy B., and I totally agree with her that you need to completely understand what ADD is and you need to be your child's best advocate. However, her description of what ADD means is absolutely and unequivocally incorrect. Children with ADD (ADHD) are NOT always distracted in everything...they can be compulsively focused on something high-interest. Rather than get your information from her (or me) I suggest you do what I did when I find out I had a child with this. I read several textbooks about the disorder. I went through short-term counseling with a child psychologist (who also happens to have ADHD). I took an 8 week course on managing and helping my child to succeed. I joined a national parent's group (CHADD) that includes a regular publication where I can read all the latest about treatment, diagnosis, coping strategies, etc. Knowledge is power.

I have two boys who were like this. They were very bright, even seemed gifted in K and 1st grade, then something seemed to change. They had a hard time with writing, spelling, and a little with reading. They were finally diagnosed with being "Twice Exceptional," which is gifted but with a learning disability. they acted distract in class because they were a little bored, but had a hard time writing down the answers to show they understood. If this sounds anything like your boy, e-mail me, and I'll help you find some information for you and the teacher.

Before you agree to anything such as medication, make sure you become very educated on what ADD is and all of the symptoms. Too often ADD has been used as a generic diagnosis for students that the teachers have a hard time with. I know this from personal experience.
For example, a child with ADD has a hard time paying attention to everything, they are always distracted, from things like playing a video game, to eating, to very basic things like walking to the bathroom.
My son, has dyslexic tendancies, and therefore has had some struggles in school and we have had to take his approach to learning very different. Because of how he sees things, he tends to just want enough to get by and be able to do it, he doesn't care if he can do it well, just as long as he can do it. After he can do it he doesn't want to hear it anymore, so he would not pay attention. His kindergarten teacher sat me down and said he is distracted and not paying attention, you need to test him for ADD and put him on medication. My family dr sat down with me and asked me some very basic questions. Things like, is he distracted in everything, even in things his is interested in? No he wasn't. His Dr said you don't need him tested, he does not have ADD. I had to work out a learning plan with his teacher to keep him interested in what he was learning. Because of his dyslexia, we had to change how we worked with him on his homework. We did things like, contracts at school, not just for behavior but for what he accomplished at school, with a reward for completing things, not just from us but from his teacher at school. I worked out time that I could go into his class and work with him. His teacher started giving him time limits to get work done with a break at a "station" afterwards. At home with homework, we had to sit next to him the whole time he would do his work, and take one subject at a time, instead of all of his work at once. For 5th grade, we even pulled him out and did homeschool for the year and of everything we did, that was the best thing for him that we could do.
Bottom line, you are his very best advocate. Sometimes the school system does things with the schools best interests in mind, not your childs. You are the only one who can see to your child and his specific learning needs and make sure they are being met.
Also, if he is ADD, there are herbal medications and things you can use. I don't know them off the top of my head, but I have cousins that have ADD and I can check with them and let you know.
I hope this helps, I will keep you and your son in my prayers.

A.

R., If you are suffering, imagine how he feels. He probably knows he isn't paying attention (he probably hears it all day) and I'm sure he realizes you talk to his teacher and counselor about him. Kids may not pay attention, but they are bright. If you are opposed to 'medication', I would urge you to consider neuro-feedback and natural supplements. These are not covered by insurance, but well worth it. A web site that can give you information on natural supplements is http://www.painstresscenter.com/ Teenlink (yes I gave it to my first grader) is one I remember giving my children, but there were several others that you need to complete the regimen. Good Luck!

It sounds a lot like he may have ADD. Which doesn't mean he needs medication. My family has a strong history of ADD and ADHD (brother, mom, probably grandfather) and even though they've never been diagnosed, I'm pretty sure at least 2 of my kids have ADD or ADHD. (I just don't see any reason to get an official diagnosis or medication unless I must).

I would talk to your son's pediatrician. Ask him if he thinks that it might be ADD. Let him know that you want to try other routes before medication. Your son might be able to work with a therapist for some behavioral modification or something. (Believe me, he doesn't want to always be easily distracted, he just doesn't know how to not be). And, if neccessary, get a diagnosis so that you can take it to the school and insist on an IEP and accomodations (not necessarily resource, but help so that he can learn with the way his brain works.)

Good news is that kids can learn to manage themselves and begin to focus on things more. And, in my experience, kids with ADD/ADHD are actually very intelligent. He may be bored and be able to focus with an appropriate level of challenge. Or he may be very creative and needs a way to chanel that energy. Or he may be great at building, or art, or many other things. Find what he loves, and what he's good at and confident in, and use that to help him learn other skills.

In 5th grade, they moved me out of normal classes into a gifted class. It wasn't really harder, it was just faster. We raced through subjects, and all the work was done in class - no homework. I did tons better.

My daughter is in 3rd grade now...and she's very easily distracted. We tried the "love and logic" way...where basically we just let her take care of it. Then she had to take care of her homework by 7pm or we gave her a job to do. It was too much stress for all of us. Now we strongly encourage her to finish her work at school. We praise her for completing work at school. When she does have homework, I sit her and my 5 yr old at the kitchen table. My son is given "homework" from a coloring book. I stand at the table and say, "Ok, which problem are you on? what's the answer? Ok, write that down. Ok, tell me when you're done with the next problem." When she cries or complains, I say, "I didn't give you homework. Ask your teacher why you have so much homework....or finish it at school. If you finish it at school, you won't have any homework besides reading."

It saves time in the long run to just stand there and keep her on task. I don't let her tell me stories about her day until her work is done. Hopefully she's getting practice on how to not be distracted.

The biggest change has been that she hates doing homework with me standing over her...so she finishes more and more of it at school now. ...which is happiest for everyone.

Even kids with ADHD thrive with individual attention. Be patient, don't yell or scold or cry cuz your kid doesn't understand why you're doing those things....instead just pull his attention back to task over and over and over and over......it gets better. Remember that you're the adult.

also, she does best on her homework if I give her a snack right when she gets home and then ask her to do homework right after that. She gets her homework done before daddy comes home...then she can play with dad.