N.F. asks from Overland Park, KS on July 30, 2010
Struggling Single Mom. How Do I Manage?
Three years ago i gave birth to my beautiful daughter who was born at 27 weeks. She did very well than expected, she will be turning 3yrs on the 2nd of August and even starting preschool on the 18 of August through a Infant Toddler programme, because she had a speech delay. Before my daughter was born i had to stay in the hospital for a month, and after she was born in total i stayed out of work for 6months. i problem is since i was doing everything by myself and unprepared for the premmie baby, i have been struggling financially. I'm still paying hospital bills from 2007.I have cut down all my expenses, i don't even have a cellphone, i have down sized to a one bedroom apt, no cable and i drive small cheap car, though the car has been needing repairs lately. I have to keep the health insurance though which is very expensive, for me and my daughter it's $180.00 per paycheck and i don't make that much. I have gone for days sometimes with no food in the house. I really don't care about myself whether i eat or not. What worries me sometimes is my daughter. Sometimes i just cook rice and make soup out of tomatoes and onions for my daughter to eat, but lately she has been refusing it. I guess she got tired of eating it. Thank God for the packaged instant oatmeal, i buy those on good days and i have to feed her aotmeal 3 times a day. I have reached to a point whereby i feel so sorry for my daughter that i brought her on earth to suffer. I 'm just a heartbroken mother. Though i have started a second job but it's wearing me out but i'm going to keep it. I work 11pm to 7am then i start my part time job from 10 am to 4pm. I have tried to ask help from the state and they told me i make too much money, when i don't have the money. I have tried charities and they have told me the same thing. Where do i turn to ladies. PLEASE HELP ME, i think i'm loosing it... Please advise me if anyone knows where i can ask for help which is not the welfare, since they have already told me they can't help me.
p.s excuse any typo errors i didn't want to revise the note, it's so emotional for me to put this in writing.
D.S. answers from Kansas City on July 31, 2010
K.C. answers from Dallas on July 30, 2010
Yeah, WIC will allow you to have a higher income than food stamps would. The same with CHIP...just like Medicaid, but you pay maybe $10-20 as the premium and that's it. And everything medical, dental, vision...they'd all be covered for her. They also have services with CHIP that would help with her speech impairment as well. I know in TX we have a program that pays for daycare so you can work...I'll ask my sister what else she gets (she has a son who has a speech impairment as well, but he's 8 now and I know she's getting something for it) ...
R.J. answers from Seattle on July 30, 2010
- Food Banks... they will accept ANYONE who claims need who says that they live in the area.
- Catholic Community Services (here's the one of the KS links) http://www.catholiccharitiesks.org/
You don't have to be catholic, or even christian to receive help and resources from them. I've worked with them on the west coast extensively, and they are a phenomenal organization.
- Your Pediatrician. Explain your situation, and ask if they have any resources for early childhood nutrition. Because so many people have NO income, even those who would otw qualify are being denied. They may well have access to pediasure and other nutritional supplements.
5 moms found this helpful
S.S. answers from Chicago on July 30, 2010
*I want to add to the other posters - you are amazing. Not too many people are left like you who do not try to take advantage but pull their own. Look at the other advice there are some great tips, and that does sound like a lot of insurance. In your case also there are programs like Ameriplan that might be helpful. It is not insurance, but you pay a certain amount a month (very small amount) and then you pay for visits at a discount to doctors or dentists. You might check that out. Also call churches around there. My sister in law who lives in a different state always goes and picks up canned goods, etc. for her parents. And finally I am going to add to the question another poster said. Actually I am going to say this, you are entitled to child support, so why are you not getting it? You are going to get sick from exhaustion and the little one needs a mama. You really are wonderful and I will pray for you. God bless you.
5 moms found this helpful
C.B. answers from Kansas City on July 30, 2010
catholic charities doesn't ask questions, they help. WIC is relatively easy to get, i know couples who both work and have two kids and are on it. and i know that the state has insurance. as a single mother you should qualify for all of these. even if you make "too much" money, your daughter at least should be able to get state health insurance. good luck. you are an amazing woman and mother!
4 moms found this helpful
A.C. answers from Jacksonville on July 30, 2010
In addition to the GREAT ideas below, you could start a small garden. Since you are in an apt. you can put them in individual pots. Seeds are super cheap and I have found the pots for less than 50 cents at most places. I always ask if they have any chipped(clay) or bent(plastic) pots they will sell for wholesale. All they can say is no. I planted in pots last season and I cropped quite a harvest. Green peppers, tomatoes, and green beans are super easy to grow and are usually very plentifull. Once you've exhausted the plant, you reuse the pot for a dif. fruit/veggie.
Also, I'm not an expert on insurance and maybe you HAVE to have the plan you do, but $180 per paycheck seems very high. Try shopping around online and see what you can find. There are individual plans for adults and children with good coverage that cost considerably less. I know, we are small business owners and we pay out of pocket for insurance. It can be done, you just need to be VERY picky and pay close attention to what the policy provides.
Good luck! You sound like a dedicated mother who just needs to explore her options are little more. The ladies on this website are bound to have some helpful ideas.
4 moms found this helpful
S.B. answers from Kansas City on July 30, 2010
Riley has great ideas. There are also churches that will do random "Angel baskets" or whatever they're called, You spend like, 25 or 50 dollars and receive a lot of food in return. Sometimes they're advertising on their signs and stuff.
I also recommend WIC, I hope you qualify. http://www.kdheks.gov/nws-wic/families/
Why arent you receiving child support?
3 moms found this helpful
J.R. answers from Miami on July 30, 2010
Dear N., I want to express my admiration for what a great momma you are. You are giving her the most important thing -- lots of love, which you have an abundance.
I am so sorry for what you are going through in terms of other necessities. I have some thoughts to maybe help you out:
1. FOOD BANKS NEAR YOU: http://www.johnson.ksu.edu/DesktopDefault.aspx?tabid=457
(I did a google search of "food bank overland kansas" in case you need to reproduce)
2. What about a local church/synagogue/mosque/community center -- maybe they can also help.
Best of Luck to you. I send my prayers and blessings, and please let us all know how you are doing and if we can provide more support.
2 moms found this helpful
A.C. answers from Boston on July 30, 2010
I too am raising a child alone, and it's not always easy, but totally worth it. So far you have gotten some great advice. WIC is one of the best programs out there, and the income levels are pretty high.
For health insurance info try this site for your state http://www.quickbrochures.net/medicare/kansas_medicaid_me.... I don't know about Kansas, I'm in NH, but my daughter has the state insurance even though I had my own at my job. It was way to expensive to add her. In other words they could not deny her insurance even though it was an option for me to add her, because I met the income qualifications for the state coverage. As far as the medical bills, ask if there is a "free care" program. Most medical facilities have these, but they won't tell you unless you ask. I had a $10,000 medical bill forgiven through a program at our local hospital, because, at the time I met the income qualifications.
One thing no one has suggested is to find subsidized housing. Go to HUD.gov and click on "find rental assistance". Enter your state and you will find a list of all of the affordable housing in your area. Much of if will be based on your income, and usually the rent is about 30% of your monthly salary. And it will be adjusted for you when your salary either increases or decreases. And no not all of them will be the "projects". Many of these places are very nice neighborhoods.
Another place you can go to for help, if you have one in your area is the YWCA. They are one of the best resources out there for all women, and they should be able to at least give you some direction to where the services are.
Remember as a single parent, there are a ton of resources out there to help you, and never forget you have a job, and that makes you a taxpayer, and YOUR taxes go towards these programs, so don't be ashamed to go out and get the help you need.
2 moms found this helpful
L.C. answers from Chicago on July 30, 2010
Also, check with your local health and human services department for your county or township. I was unemployed, single, with no kids and was getting unemployment, but I could barely make my mortgage and my money was running out - I was charging groceries on a credit card. I went to the H&H dept and not only were they able to get me financial assistance for paying my heat and electric, I also was directed to a food pantry - it saved me. I only ended up using it once because I got a job, but I had no idea that stuff was available to me. Also, my county had a medical insurance program that was free to low-income people - I didn't think I'd be low income enough, but I was. All I had to pay was $5 a visit for doc visits and I think $3 for prescriptions. It was a Godsend.
If you need things for your daughter, use www.freecycle.org. People are constantly giving away clothes, books, toys, school supplies, etc. Find out about any and all charities in your area - search online, in the phone book or ask the H&H Services people - they usually know.
As far as your hospital bill, have you gone in and talked to the hospital about getting your bill written off? Go to the billing department and tell them what you told us - that you are barely eating. Every year, hospitals write off a certain number of bills for people who can't afford to pay them.
Sending you positive thoughts and prayers that things will turn around.
2 moms found this helpful