Struggling Single Mom. How Do I Manage?

- Food Banks... they will accept ANYONE who claims need who says that they live in the area.

- Catholic Community Services (here's the one of the KS links) http://www.catholiccharitiesks.org/
You don't have to be catholic, or even christian to receive help and resources from them. I've worked with them on the west coast extensively, and they are a phenomenal organization.

- Your Pediatrician. Explain your situation, and ask if they have any resources for early childhood nutrition. Because so many people have NO income, even those who would otw qualify are being denied. They may well have access to pediasure and other nutritional supplements.

- Head Start. In addition to free or very low pay preschool/childcare starting at age 3, meals are often included as part of care http://www.ksheadstart.org/

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*I want to add to the other posters - you are amazing. Not too many people are left like you who do not try to take advantage but pull their own. Look at the other advice there are some great tips, and that does sound like a lot of insurance. In your case also there are programs like Ameriplan that might be helpful. It is not insurance, but you pay a certain amount a month (very small amount) and then you pay for visits at a discount to doctors or dentists. You might check that out. Also call churches around there. My sister in law who lives in a different state always goes and picks up canned goods, etc. for her parents. And finally I am going to add to the question another poster said. Actually I am going to say this, you are entitled to child support, so why are you not getting it? You are going to get sick from exhaustion and the little one needs a mama. You really are wonderful and I will pray for you. God bless you.

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catholic charities doesn't ask questions, they help. WIC is relatively easy to get, i know couples who both work and have two kids and are on it. and i know that the state has insurance. as a single mother you should qualify for all of these. even if you make "too much" money, your daughter at least should be able to get state health insurance. good luck. you are an amazing woman and mother!

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In addition to the GREAT ideas below, you could start a small garden. Since you are in an apt. you can put them in individual pots. Seeds are super cheap and I have found the pots for less than 50 cents at most places. I always ask if they have any chipped(clay) or bent(plastic) pots they will sell for wholesale. All they can say is no. I planted in pots last season and I cropped quite a harvest. Green peppers, tomatoes, and green beans are super easy to grow and are usually very plentifull. Once you've exhausted the plant, you reuse the pot for a dif. fruit/veggie.

Also, I'm not an expert on insurance and maybe you HAVE to have the plan you do, but $180 per paycheck seems very high. Try shopping around online and see what you can find. There are individual plans for adults and children with good coverage that cost considerably less. I know, we are small business owners and we pay out of pocket for insurance. It can be done, you just need to be VERY picky and pay close attention to what the policy provides.

Good luck! You sound like a dedicated mother who just needs to explore her options are little more. The ladies on this website are bound to have some helpful ideas.

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Riley has great ideas. There are also churches that will do random "Angel baskets" or whatever they're called, You spend like, 25 or 50 dollars and receive a lot of food in return. Sometimes they're advertising on their signs and stuff.

I also recommend WIC, I hope you qualify. http://www.kdheks.gov/nws-wic/families/

Why arent you receiving child support?

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Dear N., I want to express my admiration for what a great momma you are. You are giving her the most important thing -- lots of love, which you have an abundance.

I am so sorry for what you are going through in terms of other necessities. I have some thoughts to maybe help you out:

1. FOOD BANKS NEAR YOU: http://www.johnson.ksu.edu/DesktopDefault.aspx?tabid=457

http://www.homelessshelterdirectory.org/cgi-bin/id/cityfo...

http://www.foodpantries.org/ci/ks-overland_park

(I did a google search of "food bank overland kansas" in case you need to reproduce)

2. What about a local church/synagogue/mosque/community center -- maybe they can also help.

Best of Luck to you. I send my prayers and blessings, and please let us all know how you are doing and if we can provide more support.

Jilly

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I too am raising a child alone, and it's not always easy, but totally worth it. So far you have gotten some great advice. WIC is one of the best programs out there, and the income levels are pretty high.

For health insurance info try this site for your state http://www.quickbrochures.net/medicare/kansas_medicaid_me.... I don't know about Kansas, I'm in NH, but my daughter has the state insurance even though I had my own at my job. It was way to expensive to add her. In other words they could not deny her insurance even though it was an option for me to add her, because I met the income qualifications for the state coverage. As far as the medical bills, ask if there is a "free care" program. Most medical facilities have these, but they won't tell you unless you ask. I had a $10,000 medical bill forgiven through a program at our local hospital, because, at the time I met the income qualifications.

One thing no one has suggested is to find subsidized housing. Go to HUD.gov and click on "find rental assistance". Enter your state and you will find a list of all of the affordable housing in your area. Much of if will be based on your income, and usually the rent is about 30% of your monthly salary. And it will be adjusted for you when your salary either increases or decreases. And no not all of them will be the "projects". Many of these places are very nice neighborhoods.

Another place you can go to for help, if you have one in your area is the YWCA. They are one of the best resources out there for all women, and they should be able to at least give you some direction to where the services are.

Remember as a single parent, there are a ton of resources out there to help you, and never forget you have a job, and that makes you a taxpayer, and YOUR taxes go towards these programs, so don't be ashamed to go out and get the help you need.

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Also, check with your local health and human services department for your county or township. I was unemployed, single, with no kids and was getting unemployment, but I could barely make my mortgage and my money was running out - I was charging groceries on a credit card. I went to the H&H dept and not only were they able to get me financial assistance for paying my heat and electric, I also was directed to a food pantry - it saved me. I only ended up using it once because I got a job, but I had no idea that stuff was available to me. Also, my county had a medical insurance program that was free to low-income people - I didn't think I'd be low income enough, but I was. All I had to pay was $5 a visit for doc visits and I think $3 for prescriptions. It was a Godsend.

If you need things for your daughter, use www.freecycle.org. People are constantly giving away clothes, books, toys, school supplies, etc. Find out about any and all charities in your area - search online, in the phone book or ask the H&H Services people - they usually know.

As far as your hospital bill, have you gone in and talked to the hospital about getting your bill written off? Go to the billing department and tell them what you told us - that you are barely eating. Every year, hospitals write off a certain number of bills for people who can't afford to pay them.

Sending you positive thoughts and prayers that things will turn around.

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Honey, I notice you live in Overland Park which is a very expensive place to live and pay childcare. Are you getting help with childcare, or are you paying expensive OP prices?

Have you considered trying to find a roommate also with a child so the two of you can bear each other up?

Don't stop looking for food pantry's to help. There are churches out there that will understand your situation.

It sounds like you could hold your head up high and file for the type of bankruptsy that will help you with lower payments so that you'll pay the hospitals slowly or maybe even just get much of that thrown out. I hate bankruptcy for most people. But your situation sounds real.

Keep looking for a better job if you are not making enough. Have you followed up with the agency that helps you get child support?

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Fod banks would be key for you right now. My friend was in a similiar situation and called a food bank, they dropped off 2 boxes of food for her that day!
The garden thing is also a wonderful idea. Also keep in mind if there is a free clinic in your area... they usually have food dropped off and sit it out for whoever needs it, peanut butter & jelly, rolls, soups, etc. Sometimes they even have pedisure and some medications (tylenol, etc.)

There are resources out there, if you wouldn't mind posting your address on this site, I would love to be able to help by sending a food basket, also include your daughters clothes size and what types of food she likes. You are doing a great job, being a single mom is often a thankless job... so I am making sure to add a special thank you from your daughter, she does not understand right now what you are going through, but she will someday, and she will be so greatful you are there for her!

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I am so sorry for your situation but just know that you are doing everything within your power to take care of your precious daughter. I also wonder where the child support is as well. Regardless if the father is present or not he has a responsability to pay and you need that money to care for your daughter-it comes down to providing her basic needs not wants at this point. Especially if you are having problems affording groceries!
Another source you can try for food are local churches as well. I have never heard of them putting an income level for help. If you need the help no questions asked Christian or non-christian. A really good one is Angel Food Ministries as another poster mentioned. You can google them and they have a locator on there where you can go-It appears there are about 50 churches that came up when I put a generic zip code in particular to your city and state.
I know here in Georgia they have a Peachcare for Kids which is where your child is covered medically speaking. My understanding about it is you pay based upon your income and if you really don't make enough they put you on medicare/medicaid or whatever. However, I have never actually gone through the process so I am not very well educated on the matter. ALSO concerning your medical bills. Call those places up and explain your situation and see if they can send you some paperwork to fill out for financial assistance. If you qualify under their standards sometimes they will write the bill off entirely. If not you can try to see if they will write off "some" of it. Call them and ask the worst they can tell you is no.
Start asking questions I don't think you are finding the proper resources and you are letting your pride take over too much maybe. When you got disqualified did you ask them if they had any other resources you could try? I'm sure they know of "something". Also I don't know about your state but here in Georgia you can apply for financial assistance through some of your utlities but again you have to qualify according to their standards but I would try it-worse they can tell you is no. Also have you tried Ramon noodles those are pretty cheap like .17 cents a package here pick a couple of those up to introduce some variety as well. You can add things into it as well such as crackers or whatever get creative as much as you can afford. I hope you have enough suggestions to go do some investigative work to find out who will help you. Seems so stupid that no one has suggested the help to you when you have asked for it and they decline you. Always ask if they know of a resource. You never know who has a friend who collects care packages and such and if you don't press they may not even think of it. Especially if they are in the type of industry where someone is always coming to them wanting help. Doesn't make it right but its the truth sometimes you will find that "one" needle in the haystack but sometimes you have to be the one to filter through to find that needle if you know what I mean. Good luck to you sweetie. I hope things get better for you real soon. Praying that God send his blessings upon you :())

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N.,
I don't have direct experience with your situation but a few thoughts came to mind:
Get you child/maybe yourself covered under a federal health care program...in PA we have CHIP.
Look into WIC and food stamps.
Find a food pantry.
Check out Angelfood Ministries (no minimum income requirement!)
Call United Way and ask for some guidance about resources available to you.
Don't feel sorry for your daughter...be proud that you are a strong independent woman--you're an amazing role model for your girl!

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You may want to check with srs again I am a daycare provider and o just recieved a packet from them stating that the income requirements have changed. The amount you needy to make to not qualify when up after July so where as you didn't qualify before you may qualify now. There are a few places bore in Olathe that do not check income for those that need food assistance if I don't see anyone else post the names of these I will look them up and send another post to you. Good luck and god bless you and your daughter will be in my prayers... R.

I second the idea of Angel Food Ministries. They have NO income requirements and quite a lot of pick up locations. I know the one near me is at Nall & Shawnee Mission Parkway, so if you live in northern OP, that could be convenient.

https://www.angelfoodministries.com/

Best wishes!

Have you contacted any churches? Surely there are some that would be glad to help. If I had some way to contact you I might be able to help some way, call me @ ###-###-####, Ruth, God bless!

Apply for WIC, it will give you milk, cheese, cereals, beans or peanut butter, bread, stuff like that, untill your daughter is 5. Find a local food bank, there are a ton of them out there. Also apply for state insurance for your child. They have all kinds of programs from free insurance to ones with small premiums and they have to give you something. I get the state thing, Ive been doing it for years. It helps alot but its still hard to get back on your feet with it cause even a little money is to much money. If the state tells you they cant help you then ask them who can. I know it isnt easy. I am a newly single mother of 3 and without the state aid and charities I would be in serious trouble. Good luck

start going to church, this will lift your spirits & fill yours & your daughters bellies.........don't look for the government to help you there are too many stipulations........ people at churches will give you immediate help without going thru all the government hoopla

tell the hospital you need to lower your payments to them

best wishes

Care Net-run through Catholic Charities is a start, WIC is to. All states are required to insure children under 18 so this should help cut down on that bill. Talk with the creditors you owe for the medical bills and see if you can strick a deal so they can take less money but most of all reach out to your support system. Always remember god has a plan

My heart goes out to you. I really commend you single moms. You are the bomb!. Hold strong and even though I am not in your shoes, since you are working I would recommend maybe some meal ideas that is healthy and cheap.

Shop at a produce shop instead of the grocery store. Get at least 1 item from the food group that you know is healthy. Ex. Bananas, potatoes, use milk powder instead of gallon milk. It lasts longer. Try buying meat from the meat shop if there's one instead of grocery store. Divide them up in portions for the week, season and freeze them in ziploc bags and cook those daily. Chicken breast isn't the cheapest, but it is healthy, versatile and quick to cook. So maybe buy that at least for the sense of your daughter getting nutrition. Mix pasta with green peas and carrots from a can if you have to. Rice is always good. You can mix that with about anything. Try those ideas. You can do it! All the best

My heart goes out to you, N.. I was a single mom and still am. I think the years when my two were little were the hardest. I know how stressful it is worrying all the time and exhausted from working two jobs, then coming home to take care of the kids and try to spend time with them. It does get better--although right now, it does not feel like it will.

I looked up some resources in your area, and I found one that lists places, locations, and phone numbers in your area:

http://hsa.jocogov.org/information/senior_directory/emerg...

Strangely, the directory is a resource listing for seniors, but I am sure they will help you with a little one!

There is some great advice on here by other mothers. WIC is a good program for people who make too much for food stamps. Also, WIC provides immunizations for a reduced rate. It has been a few years, but I think I paid $10 for immunizations. I don't know if there are continuing medical issues for you and/or your daughter but see if you qualify for CHIPS for your daughter. It is for parents that make too much for medicaid but can't afford insurance. Also, ask churches about Angel baskets and ask if you can have your daughter's name put down. They provide clothes (new clothes, not used) and toys for your daughter.

Although it may not feel like it, you are a brave and amazing mother. It is not easy being a single mom. Outside of the stress and exhaustion, there are times you feel helpless and overwhelmed. This sounds like one of those times. You will get through this. My daughter is about to go to High school and my son to Middle school. They do see what I do and have done. I nearly cried when I heard my daughter tell someone that I was her hero. It made it all worth it, and I would do it again (although, I would rather not, but you know what I mean). Send me a message, and I will see what I can do to help. Know that you are not alone.

I"m a single mom myself and have been raising my daughter on my own since she was 6 months old. She is now 10. It was extremely hard and an uphill battle. But you just got to hold on, it will get better. Churches seem like a great place to get help/food. It's amazing how people pull together for someone in need. As a matter of fact, there are so many amazing women on here, that I bet if you posted your address, I wouldn't be surprised that you may even be blessed with a few donations. I know it's hard, be strong.

Check with the school. They will have a free breakfast and lunch program that she can be in even over the summer so you're sure she gets 2 meals a day that you don't have to provide. Also WIC and I would check with your local churches. I am sure many of them have help.
Hang in there

Yeah, WIC will allow you to have a higher income than food stamps would. The same with CHIP...just like Medicaid, but you pay maybe $10-20 as the premium and that's it. And everything medical, dental, vision...they'd all be covered for her. They also have services with CHIP that would help with her speech impairment as well. I know in TX we have a program that pays for daycare so you can work...I'll ask my sister what else she gets (she has a son who has a speech impairment as well, but he's 8 now and I know she's getting something for it) ...

I read your plea and wanted to get on here and encourage you and give you my suggestions. I was so pleasantly surprised that many others offered the exact advice that I would give and some other great options too. I would definitley go to a church for help and talk with the preschool/daycare about free lunches. There are programs out there, but a good church would be able to give you immediate assistance and help you find additional resources. Good luck and don't give up! Children really are amazing creatures--your daughter loves you and needs you. It takes a lot of courage to ask for help, but there isn't anything we wouldn't do for our kids, is there? Hang in there, use some of the wonderful resources provided in these answers, and God Bless.