14 answers

Struggling Single Mom

i'm a single mom struggling to pay the bills and put food on the table for my kiddo. Her father isn't around and doesn't want to be around and i have a good job, but it just doesn't seem to pay enough. i lay in bed at night and wonder how on earth am i going to get through the day. what can we eat, how will i pay the bills. i really need a second job, but i can't just take the time away from my daughter. I will miss he way too much. any suggestions??

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hey everyone. thanks for all your advise. i'm meeting with a Rep. from Avon to start selling and i've had a couple of people send me some things that are really helpful. I have also signed up for Food Stamps and will be checking into WIC for my daughter. Thanks again for all of your advise and as the saying goes God doesn't close one door without opening another. here's my other door. I'm really excited and glad i found this website. it's so nice to talk to other moms who have been there or who haven't but have good suggestions.

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http://www.themomteam.com/L. great support and It has helpped me so much. They give good support and we help the enviroment and others.

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The ladies here are just great. They have given some excellent tips!!! I'm married, my children are grown, but I do have 2 young step-children. Like someone else posted, Craigslist is great, but Freecycle is even better!!! You just sign up and read the emails to see what's "offered" for free. If you're interested in it, you email the owner, and VOILA'. You get what you wanted. I always see children's clothes offered on there and lots of household/yard items. The beauty is that it's all FREE. I'm a member of the Durham freecycle network, and I love it.

I'm not sure how the child support process works here, but when I lived in VA, the paperwork was available online and you could file it for FREE. Can you tell that free is my favorite word? As someone else stated, find out what, if any, benefits are available to you both. A trip to your local department of social services would definitely not be a waste of gas.

2 moms found this helpful

Having raised 2 daughters by myself for 12 years; I have a great deal of empathy and respect for you and all single mothers. It has to be one of the most difficult things to do. I am remarried now and have a 41/2 year old and even with two incomes were are really struggling too; with the ever increasing cost of living and pay that doesn't increase with the cost of living. There were several things I was able to get as a single parent that were lifesavers for us. WIC and foodstamps may be a viable option. Also, alot of churches have food banks and there should be a number of local, state, and federal assistance programs for single parents. Years ago I got financial assistance with daycare through the county I lived in; occassionally we had to get food through the county food bank, and once a year we were able to get assistance with our electric or gas bill. Even in the past 4 years we have used consignment shops, goodwill, and yardsales for toys and clothes for our son and ourselves in great condition and at great prices. Your church if you have one is also a great place to network and barter for things. Lately when I have had a need for something, I have been ableto find it on craigslist for dirt cheap. We are now driving old cars, not as great on gas as we need, but insurance is much cheaper and there is NO car payment. Another thing we do, which may not be as big a help right now, but we make pots of meals/large quanties, freeze half and serve 2-4 days through-out the week, alternating. We also use these meals as small lunches when we can. Dilute juices if you can, saves money and kids don't need all that sugar in the juice. Clip coupons and use them, only, watch that you don't buy something you don't normally or hadn't budgeted for. We are also now doing alot of recycling...things we might normally throw away we are finding uses for. Also, there is woman who has written some great books on being frugal. Her name is Mary Hunt, she is known as the Cheapskate Lady, she has written several books, you can get real cheap on amazon or maybe borrow from the lbrary. What about your family and your child's father....I don't kow what your situation is, but he should help out, every little bit helps. When your child seems bored with toys, pack them away for a month or so, then bring them back out, she will think they are new. I have days and nights like you when I spend more time wondering how we will make it, then I realize, I have to find new ways to be creative when I can and then I have days where I feel like it is so unfair and I am just so not in the mood to be frugal. Every now and then I might find a treat for myself on sale or clearance, etc., that gives me a little boost :). Good Luck to you...you are not alone.

1 mom found this helpful

I know things are hard right now for most and especially on single mom's and my heart goes out to you. I would for sure look into WIC and other resources you may qualify for. Don't be too proud to use these services. Like the one lady said, if you work, then you pay taxes and that's what our taxes go toward. Pray and ask God to bless you and your finances, and have faith that He will provide for you and your daughter. Pray that He will send people into your life that will help you financially. Ask Him to show you how to use your money and possessions wisely. Don't try to solve all your problems in one day, it's too overwhelming. Take it one day at a time and break them down into manageable pieces. Like, one day look up the number in the phone book for your local county's health department. In my phone book, here in TN, it's in the "blue pages" and it has a number for information under the health dept. heading. Call them and explain the situation and ask what you need to do next. Sometimes just finding the time to sit down and look up a number and making the call is the hardest part, but once you've done that, you've got the ball rolling and it will be empowering for you and will motivate you to do more to help your situation and you won't feel so helpless. I know it's hard, but sometimes it makes me feel better to acknowledge and appreciate all the good things that I do have in my life, like my husband and my daughter, and a roof over my head(some people don't even have that), and not dwell on what I don't have. I know the bills have to be paid, and I don't know if this is true or not, but my mom always told me even if you just pay what you can, even if it's just five dollars, that a lot of places will work with you if they see you are at least trying to pay a little. I will pray for you and your daughter, if you don't mind, that things will get easier for you and that you can find some peace from your money worries.

M. M.

1 mom found this helpful

Hi Jeni,

I am a single mom as well and I totally understand where you are coming from. Personally I have been trying to get something to work from home in order to alleviate daycare issues and expenses. I have since found two websites that are helpful....no cost at all. Take a look and see if this is something you would be interested in.

1. http://cashcrate.com/701003

2. http://www.bigcrumbs.com/crumbs/frontpage.jsp?r=safari

If you have any questions feel free to email me on ____@____.com


http://www.themomteam.com/L. great support and It has helpped me so much. They give good support and we help the enviroment and others.

You've had enough suggestions to check out government help so I won't mention that again(they are great resources to help you out til you can get on your feet again though) There are many churches that offer assistance if needed. The church we used to attend had a "benevelance fund" for people in need, and didn 't have to be members of the church to receive the help. Many also have food pantries where you can recieve needed food. You may have to sign up in advance for these services. If you don't have a church you attend you can check the yellow pages and just start calling churches. Tell them your situation and ask if they have type of assistance available. The Salvation Army is one church you can find in any city I believe, and I know that they provide assistance when needed. Different churches decide who they can help using different criteria so just check around.

Hi, J.. I work from home with a health and wellness company and love it! Many women in your situation have benefitted from this business, both in terms of money, and the great relationships they developed. I would be delighted to send you some info and let you decide if this would work for you. Call me @ ###-###-####. thanks!

J. C, I have a great home business I would love to talk with you about. You can make 200,500,1000.00 extra a month fairly easily. And the best thing of all, you are helping people. I help to educate people in health & nutrition. With the health status of most Americans today, this is something we all need & can use. Also, the media is preaching everyday (via talk shows, news, magazines, newspaper, etc) how we need to increase our intake of fruits & vegetables. If you would like more info, just contact me.
I wish you the best in what ever you take on. I know how hard it is, especially being single.
J. C

go to the cabinet for haelth and family services. they can tell you if you qualify financially for any government help...child care assistance, food stamps, health care, etc. if you work and pay your taxes, then take what ever help they'll give you...that's what your paying taxes for any way. my hubby and both work and we still can't make ends meet with out help. and even if her daddy doesn't wnat to be in her life, he is still responsible for her financially...call the courts and get him for child support. but until then, just pray about it...God provides for those who ask him.

have you looked into any assistance programs? surely you qualify for wic, or food stamps. these can really help a young family out. you can look up the qualifications on line. when i was raising my daughter on my own, i had to sell my nice new car, and get a reliable used one. i also bought a lot of her cloths from consignment. there are so many things that you can do to help make ends meet. also, your daughters father has to pay child support, even if he does not want to be a part of her life. you need to see a lawyer, and get a court order for child support. if he refuses to pay it, than it will be taken directly out of his pay checks. good luck, and make sure that her father is being held responsible.

Hi, there is the option to start your own home based business. This is something you can do completely around your own schedule and make some extra income every month. I do this with a company called Melaleuca, I love it! This is a wellness company that deals with products that are safe for the home, family and environment containing only safe ingredients, the business side is really easy and I'd be happy to share if you want to hear about it.

E-mail me for more info, ok.... ____@____.com

Bye for now


J. I've been there so I know what you are going through, I raised 3 kids & it is hard! I found this new job That you can do at home, If you are working right now, this would be great as a second income, for now until you get the hang of it. I love it! I do everything online so I have alot of time to spend with my grandchildren which are here everyday. Go to www.###-###-####.myo3world.com let me know what you think. If you have any ?? you can call me at ###-###-#### or ###-###-####. If you cant call Long distance & want to talk I will call you. This product is new, & right now there is NO START UP COST! but as of Aug 1st it will be $30.00, So no one has anything to lose. Hope we can be friends.

i have no idea what to say to you. i don't have any brilliant money-making ideas, or anything i know to tell you to "fix" your problem. i'm sure all the things i can think of, you have thought of... could you do some babysitting to make extra money? or do you have any special skills or abilities you could use, such as taking in some sewing, or cleaning houses, or even making something (cute hairbows, custom cakes, household goods, etc) that could help you be home and make money? mostly, i just wanted to commend you for being such a great mom, and let you know someone's thinking of you. i hope things work out for you, just keep us posted. good luck!

If you are self motivated, Mary Kay is a great product to sell. Unlike other cosmetic companies, your clients can go to the www.marykay.com website and look at the products at anytime. They can find info, virtual make overs, etc. The product is world known. There are no geographical selling areas. You can sell to anyone who is not already with a consultant. It is inexpensive to start this at home business and I have seen several struggling moms do well. You make great precentage and it is easy. It take very little time to do facials, have parties, or make phone calls to build your customer base. Then you have reorders. If you want more information, please call me at ###-###-#### or e-mail me at ____@____.com. I would love for you to join my team. I am here to support you and help your business grow. It is not a competition and we have a whole network of help from corporate on down to your fellow consultants. Be your own boss and meet a wonderful group of women in the process. Thank you. N.

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