Strict Schedule

Well A., I'm the same way.
I have 3- 6, 5 and 22 months. They've all done great on a schedule. Kids love to have something to count on. My kids fall asleep sooo fast because they have the same routine for sleeping every day. I like it. I think it's good for their little bodies.

We have a fairly strict schedule, but we also stretch it for special things. We usually plan to have a day to make up for it. Our 2 1/2 will sometimes lay down with his blanket on the couch and sleep. Don't tell him that because he swears he doesn't. :) He'll still take his normal nap. I think when kids have a good routine, they can then learn how to be flexible with it. A little flexibility is a great thing. You have to decide how much you're willing to give. Can you do lunch with family and then have nap at 12:30 or 1:00? What if you stay at friends until 8 and then cut the bedtime routine down, with no nap, etc to make up some of the time. We've noticed that if we fudge a bit (no more than an hour) we can usually do okay with it and the sleep is made up on the other end, or the next day with a longer nap, etc. I think the key is a schedule, though. It still has to be the norm, but it doesn't have to be an unbreakable rule. Next week for Easter our little ones will probably go without naps, but we are planning nothing else for the week, so the little people of the family have plenty of time to make up the sleep as they feel the need.

I believe rest is very important. I have three girls. My youngest has 3 naps a day because she is only 5 months but sleeps the same time our other daughters do. My middle child takes 2 naps a day. My oldest has one nap a day and if she doesn't then she is so wired. Everyone sleeps at around 8 to 830pm. Both my older girls sleep through the night. My youngest wakes up one time to eat around 1am then sleeps until morning.

In our family, we have a flexible daily schedule but I do try to put them to nap around the same time. They are happy and it makes our whole family happy!

Our pediatrician has two daughters. The first one was not on a schedule, was a poor sleeper, slept with her and her hubby, and the parents hated it. The child (now 9) is a good sleeper and adaptable to different environments. Our doc swore the next child would sleep.

They put her second on a strict schedule, and the baby only slept in her crib. The schedule worked at home, but the child (now 7) will not sleep anywhere but her own bed. Traveling is a nightmare. She won't even stay in grammies bed (who lives with them), or spend the night with a friend. She never napped in the car... The family took a two week trip to Bangladesh and the poor girl never slept.

I also have a SIL who is the mother of a 3 year old and twin 1 year old girls. She works outside the home, and the daycare provider required the kids be taking a nap at 10:00 and 1:00 at 3 months, then only 1:00 by 12 months. She did a great job putting them on an eating and sleeping schedule. It worked for the toddler until he was 2, and now he goes to bed later and has a hard time sleeping through the night. The twins have up and down times.

Do you plan on having more children? Will you be able to hold 2 schedules like this?

I think schedules are great for some families. I do think you have to be a little flexible from time to time so when (not if, when) there is the occasion you have to break it, you don't have a nightmare.

This is all a personal choice and what works better for your family. We had a schedule that was able to be stretched from time to time and i didn't really ever leave anything early just because it was nap time, we left when we knew for sure that they needed a nap and they told us they needed sleep not that the clock said they needed a nap. My sil has a son who had such a strict schedule that if it was interferred with at all it was the end of the world and it really made planning to do things quite difficult because it all had to be planned around tthe clock. I say let your daughter learn to sleep other places, get used to change but keep bed times more strict than nap times. Like i said its all up to what works best for your family. We are on the go a lot and try to see and do different things so we need kids who can adapt to this as well.

I respect my child's need to sleep, therefor I'm very protective of the nap schedule.

My personal belief is that children are members of the family and have needs. If we respect their basic needs, feed them, allow them rest, give them space to be the little people they are then they respect us more when it comes to tougher things like discipline. If we constantly yank the rug out form under them, don't allow them to rest or be fed on a schedule as expected, then why should they respect our needs for correct behaviour and other things? Respect is a two way street, and its starts with us.

If a family member was ill and needed rest throughout the day would 'the family' be so hard on them? No? Then why give you grief over allowing a small child the rest they crave?

Don't get me wrong, I hated the nap schedule and being away from fun things, but it was best for everyone involved that my child was rested and happy. Now that they're older and they can stay up late occasionally its been more fun and we have no problems whatsoever with them no sleeping in other locations. Its a small sacrifice and its not forever. GL! And tell the parents to back off :-)

A.,
Every child is different so it's hard to say what will or won't work for your family. With my both my children, we worked around the family schedule. We try to get them to bed every night right about the same time - but if we run a little late one night, it's not a big deal.

When they were babies, we had a cradle in the family room - so they would sleep through the noise and the house didn't have to be quiet for them to nap. I didn't want to have to worry about a dog barking or someone coming to the door; I could vacuum, do laundry, talk on the phone... It worked beautifully. If we were out and they needed to sleep - they could sleep anywhere. In the car, in their car seat, stroller.. whatever because the noise didn't bother them.

Too strict of a schedule, in my opinion, is detrimental - especially one they can start exerting their opinion and control over situations (which you aren't far from!). If you are a little flexible - on special occassions, or when they are with Grandma & Grandpa, there will be less stress for everyone! But, again, every child and family is different - find what works for you and go with it!

Good luck and God Bless-
C.