L.M. asks from Franklin, MI on November 29, 2008
Stranger Anxiety - Franklin,MI
My child seems to have a great deal of stranger anxiety. Some people in my family seem to think she has autistic features because of this. She does have some speech delay, no question but the speech person plus the early on person said no. She is very chatty and engaged with me and the day care person. So how did stranger anxiety look in your child and how do u shut people up. This is half the story, other family memebers think I'm not talking to my child and that's why she isn't talking, which is far from the truth.
L.O. answers from Detroit on November 30, 2008
Every one will tell you how to raise your child.. there is no shortage of child rearing opinions.. You just have to let it roll off and pay no attention.
Every child is different..
My duaghter was afraid of everyone- from 6 weeks old she knew I was the momma and she only wanted the momma. She didnt let anyone hold her. There was quite a while when even daddy couldnt hold her.
I started taking her to activities at 21 months.. story times nd playgroups.. etc... she was well behaved but did not interact with the teachers.. She played and did not cling but interact with other adults.
It took until about 30 months until she started interacting with adults.. she is still reserved around most men. she will talk to most women.
My son is a differnt person - he was born loving everyone. He attended playgroups and lessons from 4 months old.. (with his sister) He has always gone up to strangers to be picked up and is very friendly..
I am sure this is your daughters personality.. It will probably improve overtime but she may always be a bit reserved.. which is perfectly normal..
1 mom found this helpful
S.S. answers from Detroit on November 30, 2008
OMG, people can be crazy, can't they? Your child has come from an entirely different world and it will take time for her to adjust. My son came here from Russia. He was anxious for a while too. No big deal. He grew out of it. Your daughter will to.
Don't worry. Be happy. Isn't that a song? :D
B.J. answers from Detroit on November 30, 2008
I am a bit of a comedian, when my grandson wore a helmet, to add in ortho, to help his head to be round, not flat on one side, this condition is called flat head, and should be treated before 1 yr of age, I would tell people he plays soccer. Just let it go you do not have to convince other people of how special your child is you already know, that's for the doctors to determine. Enjoy your daughter, they grow up to fast. Not to important to love strangers, after all they are strange. I cut hair and one little boy about 7 would not talk to me at all, finally he said I'm not aloud to talk to strangers. B.
C.L. answers from Detroit on November 30, 2008
I think it's normal.. my son was born exactly the same date and he will warm up quickly to some people and not to others at first. He gets overstimulated and clings to me in situations with large crowds (like a Mom2Mom sale) or even a crowded playdate at times. We've found that it's reassuring to him to have us nearby.
I think that at this age they're going through quite a bit develpmentally as well.
I consider this to be a phase for him.. or perhaps he'll be more of a quieter personality, but I certainly wouldn't think that because your almost 2 year old has stranger anxiety they are autistic. Is it possible of a speech delay because of the adoption and possibly the stranger anxiety?
My SIL is now 13 and adopted from Korea. She's ALWAYS been afraid of strange men. She's certainly not autistic and is very chatty and definetely a teenager now! : )
J.H. answers from Detroit on November 30, 2008
Well, honestly.... I'm not sure how old she was when she was adopted, but if she was older... she may have some anxiety. She might just need some time...
She could just be a naturally cautious child and not comfortable .. or is shy. She may grow out of it...
Or,... Aspergers shows up in girls somewhat differently than in boys sometimes. Girls don't necessarily show the same symptoms..and the Early On folks didn't think my son was autistic either. Took us until he was 6 to get that dx.
You may want to speak to a councelor with the school <if she's in already> and see if she could use some time with them or a social worker.
P.R. answers from Detroit on November 30, 2008
Stranger anxiety and separation anxiety are normal.
Do a couple of google searches for me, okay? One is a CHAT (Checklist for autistic toddlers) and the other is "CDC + Learn the Signs". Read over these for yourself and reassure yourself deep in your gut that your child is not autistic. You can use those items to reassure your family.
Early On staff are sometimes reluctant to label a very young child w/ autism, and that happened to us. We were, well, lied to. One of our staff members recommended "off the record" that we seek an eval privately, and once we got an autism diagnosis from a private psychologist, the school honored that, but some school administrators don't want labels on children under three (they cost more to educate).
A.S. answers from Detroit on November 30, 2008
My sister's daughter had major stranger anxiety as a little one - she just grew out of it. She would be terrified of other family members and literally scream if anyone tried to hold her. I think your little one was already close to 6-month-old when she was brought to another country, it was a huge upheaval and it will take time. If the professionals don't think she is autistic - and she's chatty and engaged with you - I think she's fine. Just give her lots of love and it will improve as she gets older. Has she got any special friends - perhaps join a play group or go to a library story time where you can get to meet other moms with little ones and she'll get familiar with their faces. Good luck - Alison
A.B. answers from Detroit on December 01, 2008
Check out this website and see if you see any of these signs in her? www.selectivemutism.org