S.F. asks from Naperville, IL on June 25, 2010
Strange Sport Behavior
Just returned from my daughters t-ball event today embarrassed by her behavior and not sure on the best way to handle it. She wanted to sign up for t-ball since her friends were in it but ever since the first game she has fought us on playing. We have to conjole her, bribe her etc to get into the game. Tonight she was hanging off his leg saying she didn't want to go so he hoisted her up on his shoulders and brought her in. During the game she threw herself down on the grass, danced, picked grass, clowning around, and didn't pay attention. She also took the coaches hand off of the bat when she was holding her back from swinging at the ball so the coach end up taking the ball off the t so she wouldn't try and hit it before the pitcher was ready. Although I strongly feel you should end what you start, I told her after the game that it was her last game. She obviously doesn't want to play and I was ashamed of her behavior. That she's part of a team and should contribute in a positive way. My husband was thinking we shouldn't say anything and maybe let her try another week. I was tempted to pull her out mid game because of her behavior. Has any other mom been in a similar situation and what did you do?
M.J. answers from Chicago on June 26, 2010
you should have her keep going. T-ball is almost like a rite of passage! for both the parents and the kids. most kids don't have the attention span and do the distracted, playing with grass things. Also, the whole attitude thing is nothing new. grin and bear it, explain to her that she is important to the team and let her take direction from the coach. things will change.
L.L. answers from Chicago on June 26, 2010
Hi there, I agree with a lot of posters that this is typical behavior for a young child but I wanted to suggest you go and have a chat with the coach. The coach is the one having to deal with the behavior and if he has to coach a lot of kids he would be able to tell you if this is normal and how he deals with it. I agree that you should talk to her about her respect level toward the coach but ultimately he is in charge on the field. You let her teacher determine acceptable behavior in school and if they have a problem they contact you. Maybe you could let the coach know you noticed this and maybe you could find a way to deal with it together is he thinks its an issue. Good luck as I know explaining the consent of respect is a difficult one.
R.J. answers from Seattle on June 25, 2010
So a couple years older in Coach Pitch (7-8 year olds)... I'm the unoffical team photographer. This season I shot a little 1600 pics of the 11 kids on the team and then put together a CD for all the parents. On each CD were 4 series. 1) about 50 good shots of their child, 2) about 10 silly/cute/artsy/etc. shots of their child, 3) my favorite shot of each child on the team and 4) goofy shots of the whole team. Hands down the favorite "series" was #4 where of each kid off in their own little world when it was their turn to field. In part I did this because they were all so durn cute, but also so it didn't look to the parents like they had the "goofy" kid (that's my kid btw., class clown to the umpteenth degree).
Unless OTW noted, all of these are in the "outfield", (all positions were roated every inning and every game so everyone played every position) and ALL of these are during game play. We had;
- Grass mustaches
- Grass "hair" for their hats
- Ballerina twirling (by both girls and boys)
- A nap
- Wearing the glove on the face (everyone did this at some point)
- Wearing the glove as a hat
- Grass fight
- Dirt raining/ Dirt scuffing
- Drawing in the dirt (with fingers, a spare bat, glove, hat, and with spit)
- Watching the game bent over and upside down through their legs
- Dusting off the pitcher's mound
- Sitting crosslegged on the base
- Making a pyramid with extra balls
- Climbing the fence in the dugout
- Trying to touch their tongue to the end of their nose
- Drawing on the white pants with the red dirt
- many many others... but these are ones I got good shots of
Baseball games at the little kid level are BORING. Dead, dog, boring. Fun to run from base to base, but otherwise, they're just waiting around. It's HILARIOUS what kids do in order to occupy themselves. And also to watch good coaches keep them actively involved in doing absolutely nothing but watching someone else do almost nothing while the ball goes somewhere completely different from where the kid is. (and even with 6 coaches on the field like there were with our team... that left 5 kids to their own devices. LOL. With predictable results. Even just keeping them in the dugout is difficult, spread out across the field for 10,000 year long innings, it's durn near a lost cause.
We got some good quotes from parents this season as well. Including "Don't make me count!" being shouted over the field... but my absolute favorite was "MaxWELL! Get back in your cage!"
The only thing better to shoot than little kid baseball (sport wise) is peewee soccer. It's like watching the Marx Brothers. I almost can't stop laughing long enough to get the shot. My favorite from 4 year old soccer was "show everyone your underwear day". They caught on quick not to pull their shorts down... but they could lift the legs of their shorts UP. ROFL... not a lot of goals that day as everyone would huddle in a group on the field to compare.
7 moms found this helpful
K.B. answers from Houston on June 25, 2010
Since it's T-ball I'm assuming she's 5 maybe 6 years old, correct? The picking grass, dancing, and overall not paying attention is not unique and I'm quite surprised you didn't see other kids doing the same thing out there. The only part that I would talk to her about is her respect for the coach. She obviously should not have removed the coach's hand from the bat and should be listening to the instructions. From your description that is the only thing that I would probably address with her. I would not let her quit, but if she continues to be disrespectful of the coach I would have her sit out and just watch the game. Don't give in to her wanting to go home but also don't let her take away from the other kids wanting to play. Tell her she will continue to go and will just sit and watch if she cannot show more respect for her coach when she is talking.
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N.S. answers from Chicago on June 25, 2010
Oh jeez, she's not ADD or ADHAD. That's totally natural behavior for someone her age! T-ball can be boring! There's a lot of standing around waiting. Of COURSE she's going to lie down on the grass, clown around, etc. I see it in soccer as well. Young kids doing rolls on the field while the ball is in play. LOL!
At her age she's not going to really learn the "finish what you started" lesson, to her it's just boring. I'd pull her out because she's just going to learn to hate T-ball. Try her in something with more action. Perhaps she can try softball again when she's older.
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B.P. answers from Chicago on June 26, 2010
Your daughter's behavior is not strange at all. She got you to sign her up for t-ball based on her social interests, not her athletic ones and just didn't have the awareness of what she was getting into. You don't say how old she is, but t-ball is for young ones. Question: Have you or your husband ever played catch with her, practiced batting at home, etc.? It sounds like your daughter is not accustomed to playing and if not this would help her to understand and enjoy the game. Without seeing the situation, it sounds like she may not be ready for a sport activity if she's having trouble focusing. What you describe is mostly playing. Lastly, I think it's a little like any public behavior. If my child is being disruptive and won't follow instruction, they are not allowed to continue and within minutes we leave. If she really wants to be there she will see that her behavior will not get her what she wants and you can return with clear expectations for behavior. I think your instincts were correct to remove her if she was truly disruptive. It sounds like she doesn't want to be there now that she sees what it is, so either make t-ball fun at home to pique her interest or move on. For a second opinion, you can always check this out with the coach.
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S.S. answers from Chicago on June 26, 2010
Yes, yes, yes. I agree for the most part you should make someone stick out something. However if there are horrible consequences for forcing someone to stay in (i.e.a class with bad grades, abusive bullying behavior that victimizes someone and others on the team for example) and if it's safer to get out then stay in then of course do so. I attempted to expose my sons to every form of sport I could - and the ones they had to be on, where I spent lots of money, I made them stay on. My son used to stand in the field and pick dandelions during the game. My other son was hit on the face by a hardball first practise and there was blood everywhere. So he didn't stay that year. He eventually went back on his own. I would have preferred he had quit football, it was expensive and so sad. So many boys on the team never got to play. At any rate in this case you made a rule and you want to follow it. Perhaps you should tell the coach what you said and make her go and watch the game anyway. Without being part of the team. The coach does not have to explain it to the rest of the team. I assume she is quite young, so she needs to know that she is missing something, not simply going doesn't help too much because they don't miss what they are not at. On hubby's thinking, I am sure I have done that against my own best thinking but they do forget things sometimes. NO guarantee though. And then the next time you say that's the last of this, then you might be tested sorely. So perhaps you might up front let her know you and hubby thought about it and give her a chance again. (How many more games are there?) or my personal favorite, something my mother used to say: just ignore it. One day she will be doing something like that and the other kids will be noting it and you won't have to do a thing. If possible she should try and apologize to the coach. Coaches too have rules they must keep and she has to see that. Good luck, I know it's frustrating.
D.F. answers from Boston on June 26, 2010
YES!!! So she is around 4 or 5 ?? She is not ready, I would not bother to sign her up for anything till she is more mature. I also would not take her back to her team. I would call the coach and politely tell him she is just not ready. I had to do this with my older son he screamed and made such a fuss. I just said its not fair to the coach or the team to have to put up with this. So we left and actually came to watch games instead.
I would however make it clear she is not to act the way she did. If that happens again you need to pick her up take her home and sit in a time out. And keep doing this ......do not let her do this. Nip this behavior in the bud or you will have a little horror on you hands. Good luck!
J.L. answers from Minneapolis on June 25, 2010
She may really want to be there, but perhaps something is causing her to act this way. Does she do this in other settings like school for instance? Has she been evaluated for an attention disorder? This pattern of behavior is very common for parents of kids with undiagnosed ADHD and ADD. Just a thought.
E.S. answers from Houston on June 26, 2010
We just had this problem. I don't know how old your daughter is but we put our 3 year old in t-ball. We always play as a family and she loves it so we assumed she would. We went out and bought the shoes, the glove, bat and bat bag and everything else we thought she would need. WHY??? She hated it. She would throw herself down when she didn't catch the ball, she would run to the playground when she was in the outfield (which I personally took alot of pics of b/c her dad would have to chase her :). Anyway, it is completely normal. Just when she was getting used to it, the season was over. And then she tells me she wants to play b-ball. WHAT??