Strange Sport Behavior

So a couple years older in Coach Pitch (7-8 year olds)... I'm the unoffical team photographer. This season I shot a little 1600 pics of the 11 kids on the team and then put together a CD for all the parents. On each CD were 4 series. 1) about 50 good shots of their child, 2) about 10 silly/cute/artsy/etc. shots of their child, 3) my favorite shot of each child on the team and 4) goofy shots of the whole team. Hands down the favorite "series" was #4 where of each kid off in their own little world when it was their turn to field. In part I did this because they were all so durn cute, but also so it didn't look to the parents like they had the "goofy" kid (that's my kid btw., class clown to the umpteenth degree).

Unless OTW noted, all of these are in the "outfield", (all positions were roated every inning and every game so everyone played every position) and ALL of these are during game play. We had;

- Cartwheels
- Grass mustaches
- Grass "hair" for their hats
- Ballerina twirling (by both girls and boys)
- A nap
- Wearing the glove on the face (everyone did this at some point)
- Wearing the glove as a hat
- Grass fight
- Dirt raining/ Dirt scuffing
- Drawing in the dirt (with fingers, a spare bat, glove, hat, and with spit)
- Watching the game bent over and upside down through their legs
- Dusting off the pitcher's mound
- Sitting crosslegged on the base
- Making a pyramid with extra balls
- Climbing the fence in the dugout
- Trying to touch their tongue to the end of their nose
- Drawing on the white pants with the red dirt
- many many others... but these are ones I got good shots of

Baseball games at the little kid level are BORING. Dead, dog, boring. Fun to run from base to base, but otherwise, they're just waiting around. It's HILARIOUS what kids do in order to occupy themselves. And also to watch good coaches keep them actively involved in doing absolutely nothing but watching someone else do almost nothing while the ball goes somewhere completely different from where the kid is. (and even with 6 coaches on the field like there were with our team... that left 5 kids to their own devices. LOL. With predictable results. Even just keeping them in the dugout is difficult, spread out across the field for 10,000 year long innings, it's durn near a lost cause.

We got some good quotes from parents this season as well. Including "Don't make me count!" being shouted over the field... but my absolute favorite was "MaxWELL! Get back in your cage!"

The only thing better to shoot than little kid baseball (sport wise) is peewee soccer. It's like watching the Marx Brothers. I almost can't stop laughing long enough to get the shot. My favorite from 4 year old soccer was "show everyone your underwear day". They caught on quick not to pull their shorts down... but they could lift the legs of their shorts UP. ROFL... not a lot of goals that day as everyone would huddle in a group on the field to compare.

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Since it's T-ball I'm assuming she's 5 maybe 6 years old, correct? The picking grass, dancing, and overall not paying attention is not unique and I'm quite surprised you didn't see other kids doing the same thing out there. The only part that I would talk to her about is her respect for the coach. She obviously should not have removed the coach's hand from the bat and should be listening to the instructions. From your description that is the only thing that I would probably address with her. I would not let her quit, but if she continues to be disrespectful of the coach I would have her sit out and just watch the game. Don't give in to her wanting to go home but also don't let her take away from the other kids wanting to play. Tell her she will continue to go and will just sit and watch if she cannot show more respect for her coach when she is talking.

Good luck,
K.

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Oh jeez, she's not ADD or ADHAD. That's totally natural behavior for someone her age! T-ball can be boring! There's a lot of standing around waiting. Of COURSE she's going to lie down on the grass, clown around, etc. I see it in soccer as well. Young kids doing rolls on the field while the ball is in play. LOL!

At her age she's not going to really learn the "finish what you started" lesson, to her it's just boring. I'd pull her out because she's just going to learn to hate T-ball. Try her in something with more action. Perhaps she can try softball again when she's older.

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Your daughter's behavior is not strange at all. She got you to sign her up for t-ball based on her social interests, not her athletic ones and just didn't have the awareness of what she was getting into. You don't say how old she is, but t-ball is for young ones. Question: Have you or your husband ever played catch with her, practiced batting at home, etc.? It sounds like your daughter is not accustomed to playing and if not this would help her to understand and enjoy the game. Without seeing the situation, it sounds like she may not be ready for a sport activity if she's having trouble focusing. What you describe is mostly playing. Lastly, I think it's a little like any public behavior. If my child is being disruptive and won't follow instruction, they are not allowed to continue and within minutes we leave. If she really wants to be there she will see that her behavior will not get her what she wants and you can return with clear expectations for behavior. I think your instincts were correct to remove her if she was truly disruptive. It sounds like she doesn't want to be there now that she sees what it is, so either make t-ball fun at home to pique her interest or move on. For a second opinion, you can always check this out with the coach.

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Yes, yes, yes. I agree for the most part you should make someone stick out something. However if there are horrible consequences for forcing someone to stay in (i.e.a class with bad grades, abusive bullying behavior that victimizes someone and others on the team for example) and if it's safer to get out then stay in then of course do so. I attempted to expose my sons to every form of sport I could - and the ones they had to be on, where I spent lots of money, I made them stay on. My son used to stand in the field and pick dandelions during the game. My other son was hit on the face by a hardball first practise and there was blood everywhere. So he didn't stay that year. He eventually went back on his own. I would have preferred he had quit football, it was expensive and so sad. So many boys on the team never got to play. At any rate in this case you made a rule and you want to follow it. Perhaps you should tell the coach what you said and make her go and watch the game anyway. Without being part of the team. The coach does not have to explain it to the rest of the team. I assume she is quite young, so she needs to know that she is missing something, not simply going doesn't help too much because they don't miss what they are not at. On hubby's thinking, I am sure I have done that against my own best thinking but they do forget things sometimes. NO guarantee though. And then the next time you say that's the last of this, then you might be tested sorely. So perhaps you might up front let her know you and hubby thought about it and give her a chance again. (How many more games are there?) or my personal favorite, something my mother used to say: just ignore it. One day she will be doing something like that and the other kids will be noting it and you won't have to do a thing. If possible she should try and apologize to the coach. Coaches too have rules they must keep and she has to see that. Good luck, I know it's frustrating.

YES!!! So she is around 4 or 5 ?? She is not ready, I would not bother to sign her up for anything till she is more mature. I also would not take her back to her team. I would call the coach and politely tell him she is just not ready. I had to do this with my older son he screamed and made such a fuss. I just said its not fair to the coach or the team to have to put up with this. So we left and actually came to watch games instead.
I would however make it clear she is not to act the way she did. If that happens again you need to pick her up take her home and sit in a time out. And keep doing this ......do not let her do this. Nip this behavior in the bud or you will have a little horror on you hands. Good luck!

She may really want to be there, but perhaps something is causing her to act this way. Does she do this in other settings like school for instance? Has she been evaluated for an attention disorder? This pattern of behavior is very common for parents of kids with undiagnosed ADHD and ADD. Just a thought.

We just had this problem. I don't know how old your daughter is but we put our 3 year old in t-ball. We always play as a family and she loves it so we assumed she would. We went out and bought the shoes, the glove, bat and bat bag and everything else we thought she would need. WHY??? She hated it. She would throw herself down when she didn't catch the ball, she would run to the playground when she was in the outfield (which I personally took alot of pics of b/c her dad would have to chase her :). Anyway, it is completely normal. Just when she was getting used to it, the season was over. And then she tells me she wants to play b-ball. WHAT??

OK, if she's in t-ball, she's pretty young, so this is pretty typical behavior. Some kids are ready for organized sports and others take a little longer! This is NOT a discipline issue, nor should you punish her behavior. If you are able (w/out going too crazy) try to make her stick it out...even if it's just to go sit on the bench. My son liked to play, but was definitely in his own world during games! I was soooo stressed...he was not ready for that yet...he has since played basketball, soccer and is going into his 3rd year of football (he's 10 1/2 now!) Yay!

This is a good learning experience for her to be ready when it is more serious and harder! Talk before each game about how she is part of a team and how her team mates need her and whatever else you can think of to encourage! And if you have to, offer a reward for doing a good job (trying her best and paying attn.) after the game. Don't expect perfection...you will be disappointed and she will be disappointed in herself for letting you down! I know it's tough, but try to make her stick it out...and don't be embarrassed...it really is normal! A LOT of us have been there!

I haven't been in your situation.. but it seems like normal behavior for a kiddo her age. I wouldn't worry too much about it.. or be too serious.. T-ball should be more of a fun thing for her age group... just to get out and be with other kids and learn some basic teamwork things.. If she continues to be disinterested in things.. i'd just pull her out before it gets any worse.. and have her pick something else that she might enjoy! Get her into as many things as you can! I wish i was in more sports and ballet and all those little girl things. lol.

It's going to seem cruel, but keep her in until the end. Teach her that quitting is NOT an option. Even as young as three or four, they learn that if they tantrum and misbehave, eventually parents will cave to their demands.
I am very unpopular with my family because I refuse to let my son change his mind about ANYTHING after he made a decision(light example, mac & cheese for lunch is made, then he wants chicken--heavy example, he wants Blue's Clues DVD, then screams at home that he wanted Spongebob). I let him scream it out, however long it takes(taking away said DVD to save it's wee life!). Sometimes he screams for hours. I just warn family tantrum is here...head for the hills!
It will tear at your hair, your eardrums, your nerves, maybe even your sanity, but it will teach them that making decisions and sticking with them is a part of life.
As a side note: My son quite often comes up to me afterward and tells me he's sorry he's been bad and for making me upset. It makes me happy I am doing things this way--even if my family says I go too far.

Another option is talking to her team--give the other team parents and the coach a short letter explaining the situation, and ask for their input, as it is a team game. Perhaps they can come up with a way to either make it interesting enough that she joins willingly, or a graceful way of bowing out. Sometimes the other parents have been there, done that, own the t-shirt...they can be valuable sources of information.

Good luck!

That sounds like typical t-ball behavior to me. My son is now American league (7-8 yo) and some (SOME) of the kids still can't pay attention. Most can & do now. But it's at least their 3rd year...

dont let her quit. shes gotta learn whats up. i bet u already put some money into this right?

does the best player get a team ball at the end of each game? If so, why not suggest to her that if she tries harder, maybe she will get a ball? Last week, one of the coach's daughter (who hasn't really wanted to play since day one) was given a team ball since he decided it was going to be her last game. We were all told it was going to be her last game too (which to me set a bad example to the other team mates). Anyway, the very next week, the little girl showed up and did a complete turn-around. Why? Because she wanted another ball. Each week, one of the kids get the team ball and it's amazing to see the difference in their attitudes.

So, I wouldn't allow her to quit, just tell her you will take something away from her if she doesn't really give it her best. Also, do you or your husband practice with her? Maybe if she gets better at catching or hitting the ball, she'd like it more. Our coaches rotate the kids all the time so that not the same kid is in the outfield more than twice per game.

T-Ball season is so close to the end, I would not allow her to quit.

you should have her keep going. T-ball is almost like a rite of passage! for both the parents and the kids. most kids don't have the attention span and do the distracted, playing with grass things. Also, the whole attitude thing is nothing new. grin and bear it, explain to her that she is important to the team and let her take direction from the coach. things will change.

Thank God for you! I thought that it was JUST my son! He wanted to play T Ball so badly. the first week, he walked away from his team while he was playing outfield. He refused to go back! His Dad had to force him.
Week 2...same thing and he held onto me sucking his thumb saying that it was too hot and the bugs were eating him!
He refused to go back. I was so embarrassed and just wanted to leave.
Week 3...he Finally stayed in the game after we explained that BIG boys listened to the coach and helped the team win the game...
Along some bribery!
I know it's not right, but I had no idea what else to do.

T-ball is optional, not something required in life like school. I am assuming she is young and she didn't quite know what she was getting into. You don't need to teach her at this point that you must finish what you start. Perhaps she just really doesn't like it but how was she going to know that until she tried? There is no need to be ashamed, she is acting just as expected for a child her age. I would have a conversation with her and see if she wants to continue. Tell her that if she does then she must listen to the coach, etc. If she doesn't want to continue, then you let her end it and you are teaching her that it is much better to exit something gracefully then to continue with something you hate and behave in a way you don't approve (which is to be expected since she doesn't like it).

We totally expect our 8 and 10 year olds to finish the season for any team sport or activity they start, but maybe your daughter is a little your to really get the lesson of being commited to a team and to what you start. It's fair to say she didn't really know what she was this would be all about, but now she does. I don't really think you need to have her continue. What is sports for at this age, really? It should be fun, not torture. What I would probably do is have a little talk with her, tell her you can see she is really frustrated and unhappy with T-ball, so she has your permission just this time to quit right now. But next time she signs on for a team sport or team activity she must finish the season, so she should think carefully and choose activities she really wants to be in, or those activities she is willing to give her best try with a good attitude for every practice and game, and not just pick things because that's what her friends are joining. And have that same conversation the next time any sign up comes along.

You don't say the age of this child...My daughter (at about age 6) wanted to join and then hated it. She hated being 'told' what to do, although she didn't know the rules, etc. She is a type 'A' personality and is a leader, not a follower. She did finish the season but it was always a struggle and not enjoyable. I'm not sure she "learned" what we wanted her to....being teachable, working together as a team, sacrifice, etc. She is now still who she is and we all enjoy that! (age 21)

Our other daughter never even wanted to join t-ball, but tried soccer instead. Again, not a team player because she didn't excel as the "best" player on the team. If she couldn't be no. one, why try? She finished the season and has never had a regret of not being in sports. She prefers to exercise on her own or with one friend. She is who she is and we all enjoy that. She's type 'B' and creative.

What I am trying to point out is that there are other ways of teaching our children 'the rules' of life besides team sports. We learn every day. We learn from ourselves and our own experiences, but we also learn from others; how to be and how not to be. Life is about growing. We never 'get there'. Be positive w/ your daughter and allow her to be who she has been created to be; not who you want her to be. Life will round off those rough edges enough w/o them having to chipped away at by her heroes/parents.

Ask questions instead of lecturing...

Pray pray pray and talk about who and how she wants to be remembered for. Then shoot for the stars! xo

Hi there, I agree with a lot of posters that this is typical behavior for a young child but I wanted to suggest you go and have a chat with the coach. The coach is the one having to deal with the behavior and if he has to coach a lot of kids he would be able to tell you if this is normal and how he deals with it. I agree that you should talk to her about her respect level toward the coach but ultimately he is in charge on the field. You let her teacher determine acceptable behavior in school and if they have a problem they contact you. Maybe you could let the coach know you noticed this and maybe you could find a way to deal with it together is he thinks its an issue. Good luck as I know explaining the consent of respect is a difficult one.

It's little unclear if she was being disrespectful to the team and coach (NEVER ok in our home) or just being a typical t-baller with cartwheels and daisy picking. If it's the latter, very normal, cute and something I did at 5 years old (went on to play years of competitve softball as a pretty good little pitcher). If her behavior in any way is disrespectful to the coach, other players or even other parents that would not fly in our home. I cannot beleive the way one of my 7 year olds teammates acted this year during games and practices, what a brat! Now that is embarrassing! Try to take your own expectations out of it and talk to the coach if you're not sure. Bottom line is if she's not having fun, she's just too young for team sports!